Posted by
u/theydonttellyou
i'm so tired
i'm tired of getting misgendered, of having to explain myself, of having to educate, of having to do endless emotional labor, of having to handle cis egos and feelings, of having to absorb everything always, of dealing with everyone's "good intentions", of being tone policed, of being gaslighted, of being told i'm too much too difficult too sensitive, of being told i'm imagining things, of being told that didn't happen, of being erased, of having my experience and reality denied, of having my rights taken away, of having to fight for subpar healthcare, of being treated as second-class, of being betrayed, of always showing up for everyone else, of never feeling seen, of never feeling safe, of not trusting anyone.
i'm so fucking sick and tired of cis people and the whole transphobic patriarchy.
i'm sad about all the lost time, all the pain and heartbreak, all the loneliness, all the support i needed but never got. i'm sad and tired of feeling no one ever really cares.
i'm not sure what my point is even--- i moved across the world to build a better life for myself in the place i wanted to be, i have a successful career in a field i care about, i finally managed to access the gender-affirming care i needed and found a competent therapist. i went low contact with my unsupportive family and cut off transphobic and toxic people from my past.
i guess i expected things to get better, to feel calmer or happier or idk at least some sense of achievement, but instead i'm only getting more resentful and bitter and i feel so depressed. i still don't feel like i have any real support. i have friends but they're virtually all cis and it never feels like anyone actually gets anything and i end up resenting everyone. i wasn't expecting miracles but my outlook is just getting darker and darker
