Patrick Sean Tomlinson / @stealthygeek / "Torque Wheeler" / @RealAutomanic / Kempesh / Padawan v2.5 - "Conservative" sci-fi author with TDS, armed "drunk with anger management issues" and terminated parental rights, actual tough guy, obese, paid Quasi, paid thousands to be repeatedly unbanned from Twitter

Battlecruiser3000ad said:
We are sure going to have an egg on our face when it's found that the only plant capable of growing in martian soil is the Tomlinson Tomato, the extremely resilient variant that evolved in a fat retard's salted backyard.
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This would make sense, that plant could take the most abuse and the most poisonous soil.
 
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AnOminous said:
The worst thing Dick ever wrote (probably Vulcan's Hammer or Dr. Futurity imo and you probably never heard of them and there is a reason for that) is better than the best thing Fatty ever wrote.
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Pat is a really shitty writer.
I'd unironically rate the worst thing L Ron Hubbard ever wrote higher than the best thing Pat ever wrote.
And the atrocity Travolta turned into that Battlefield Earth movie isn't even the worse thing Hubbard wrote.
 
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Procrastinhater said:
Pat is a really shitty writer.
I'd unironically rate the worst thing L Ron Hubbard ever wrote higher than the best thing Pat ever wrote.
And the atrocity Travolta turned into Battlefield Earth isn't even the worse thing Hubbard wrote.
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If you want to insult a sci-fi writer, that's probably the kill shot right there.

(They sure don't seem to mind being called pedophiles...)
 
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LGHDR+ said:
If you want to insult a sci-fi writer, that's probably the kill shot right there.

(They sure don't seem to mind being called pedophiles...)
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Hubbard was a hell of a slick snake oil salesman (apparently he started Scientology when someone bet him he couldn't start his own religion. Hubbard counterbet that he not only could but he could make people pay him to join it ) but he was a lousy writer. He's plots are full of cliché (even for the time) characters and events, conveniences, deus ex devices, he basically used everything they advise writers starting out to avoid. The only reason they're remembered is because they're almost required reading both for Scientologists, and people who want to know how to be better writers by seeing what not to do.
Hubbards novels are like The Room though, in that they're still enjoyable for how bad they are.
Pats novels are a fucking chore to get through.
I got one with a free Audiobook credit and I feel cheated. It took me a year to finish it.
I can read Lord of the Rings right through in a couple of days. I had to force myself to listen to Pat during the drive to work. I wouldn't listen on the way home because it literally put me in a foul mood and I didn't want to be grumpy at home.
 
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An Sionnach Seang said:
not to mention the fact atmospheric pressure is nearly 100 times higher than it is on Earth, so you'd not just get fried but crushed flat
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"Wrong in every detail as always, child. The pressure inside Nikki's cunt is also 100 times higher than the atmospheric pressure on Earth by the time Tyrone and Daquan are done with her and yet you don't see me getting crushed f(l)at."
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bile demon said:
"Wrong in every detail as always, child. The pressure inside Nikki's cunt is also 100 times higher than the atmospheric pressure on Earth by the time Tyrone and Daquan are done with her and yet you don't see me getting crushed f(l)at."
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To be fair, Dragon Ball taught me that high gravity = strong men. If you were subjected daily to the kind of gravity field Fat has to endure every day (because he's FFWBT) and survived, you'd be able to withstand incredible fartospheric pressures too.
 
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Procrastinhater said:
Hubbards novels are like The Room though, in that they're still enjoyable for how bad they are.
Pats novels are a fucking chore to get through.
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i read the entire 'mission earth' series as a kid. my mom got me the first one having (i assume) no idea who hubbard was. the first couple were okay but they quickly devolved into a slog of just getting thru the rest to see what happened, since i couldn't just jump on wikipedia to read the synopsis of the rest. i don't recommend them aside from the 'so terrible they're okay' factor, but given a choice between reading that entire series over and any of Fat's 'works' i think i'd let other Kiwis take one for the team while i'd be taking mission earth to my desert island every day of the week and twice on sunday
 
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nicetry said:
i read the entire 'mission earth' series as a kid. my mom got me the first one having (i assume) no idea who hubbard was. the first couple were okay but they quickly devolved into a slog of just getting thru the rest to see what happened, since i couldn't just jump on wikipedia to read the synopsis of the rest. i don't recommend them aside from the 'so terrible they're okay' factor, but given a choice between reading that entire series over and any of Fat's 'works' i think i'd let other Kiwis take one for the team while i'd be taking mission earth to my desert island every day of the week and twice on sunday
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I would rather read Jacob Sockness's Kidasuna shit than anything else Pat wrote.
I'd be willing to bet that crazy faggot put more effort into world building and consistency.
 
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DumbDude43 said:
mars atmospheric pressure is less than 1% of what we have on earth, it's really shitty
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DespiteMars having lower gravity than Earth, Patrick manages to be heavier on the Martian surface.
Battlecruiser3000ad said:
We are sure going to have an egg on our face when it's found that the only plant capable of growing in martian soil is the Tomlinson Tomato, the extremely resilient variant that evolved in a fat retard's salted backyard.
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Certain aspects of the Tomlinson Tomato have confounded scientists. While the salty taste of the tomato itself is explained by the saline content of the soil, the “cured meat” or “pepperoni” aftertaste remains a mystery. Scientists will need to dig further into the ground to see if they can find an explanation.
 
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306h4Ge5eJUJ said:
There's been a recent resurgence of Venus colonization wank due to some feminism-flavored nonsense about how Mars/Venus :
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Akshuhually the biggest cause seems to be IFLS nerds getting mad at Musk over various things, so they decided that "Uhh no sweaty, colonizing Mars would be harder than building floating cities on Venus".
Even if could wave a magic wand and give Venus enough water and an Earth-like atmosphere, just the fact a Venusian day is 5832 hours long would lead to utterly insane weather patterns as hot, wet air rapidly cycles to the "cold pole" on the night side of the planet.
Completely unfeasible without building and maintaining huge mirrors and shades in orbit.
 
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Post Reply said:
Venus was a huge debtors prison in Warframe wasn't it? Thematic.
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Yep.
For those who aren't familiar, an Ancient Aliens-like race called the Orokin had terraforming devices on a lot of planets and through Space Magic terraformed nearly all of the gas giant planets into hospitable planets, which is why Uranus and Neptune are the way they are; Jupiter is still a gas giant. Venus is in the process of being terraformed into a hospitable planet. The debtor's prison is Fortuna, which is in Venus itself, but I'm getting way off topic here.

Point is, terraforming Venus ain't anything new in science-fiction: some people take the very technical, well-thought out approach and others just have fun with the idea and handwave it with Space Magic. Both are acceptable, provided its written well in a way that either makes sense or doesn't challenge ones suspension of disbelief too hard. But this being Pat and his adipose-encased brain, he'd probably find an "explanation" that is the most godawful, asinine way imaginable.

Hopefully one of the Brothermen gets a guerilla-style recording of that panel, because I'd love to hear how Pat botches the subject.
 
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