Nicholas Robert Rekieta / Rekieta "Law" / Actually Criminal / @NickRekieta - Polysubstance enthusiast, "Lawtuber" turned Dabbleverse streamer, swinger, "whitebread ass nigga", snuffs animals for fun, visits 🇯🇲 BBC resorts. Legally a cuckold who lost his license to practice law. Wife's bod worth $50. The normies even know.

[Magic Sun Daddy]

Got through watching the last MATI Rekieta. I haven't tuned into Nick's streams since he first introduced us to the Balldo, but I knew about his desire to go into standup comedy. The Butter Dish Rant made me feel drained in a way that only Rich Evans can explain.

 

[Pippa's Greasy KB]

I don't drink alcohol but it would be so fucking weird and funny that right after his once in a blue moon doctor check up that said his liver is fine, his liver decided it's had enough and it never occurred to him it could really be actually his liver this time and he only went to check it again until it got real bad. People did say liver failures tend to pop up suddenly without any forewarning.

 

[Hrothgar]

Nick has used black men being attracted to his wife as validation that she is "hot" more than once.

No one thinks she's hot, Nick. They don't have to deal with a black woman for muh dik, that's all they care about.

 

[Mr.Bucket]

You know, even though i think null would probably hate the fuck out of the idea, the site having a fake money system and being able to make bets with it would be fun. Like is he gonna stream today?

That sounds pretty dang fun.

Which means in no way would Null ever do it.

 

[Captain Manning]

Well since Rekieta has a fever of 194, or whatever the fuck bullshit excuse he's going with this time, I hope nobody will mind much if I sneak this in here during the lull.

Ladies and gentlemen of the Rekieta thread,
this is technically my 10,000th post on the Farms (posts made in the Supporters forum don't count, apparently). Given the occasion, I feel I should make such a post that is both special and memorable.

<unfolds paper>
<puts on reading glasses>
<clears throat>

Spoiler: My special post

Nick Rekieta is a niggerfaggot.

That is all. Thank you, and have a pleasant weekend!

 

[Anticipointment]

I am more convinced that the 'make me food' story is genuine

After re-listening to it on MATI I’m leaning towards it being likely true as well.

In a way, I am starting to get Faran vibes from this. Depending on what you believe, Faran either made shit up, or said too much truth, but it ended with Nick and her distancing. Similar situation here with Aaron it already feels like.

Same. It might not be a completely accurate representation & the motivations for sharing the story seem sus, but overall, it does more or less align with facts already established.

Another thing, Aaron specifically was being asked for food. He didn’t say they ask him and/or April. Usually if kids need something & there are visitors in the house, they will ask the woman or the woman will volunteer. Not saying like it’s only a woman’s job to make food but generally that’s how things are with kids. They will ask a woman for help, especially since the three younger of the kids are girls. So what’s going on where the Rekieta parents are absent & so is April, leaving Aaron & the kids hanging out alone? Why are the children being left alone with some guy who plainly admitted he doesn’t give a shit if they eat or not, he wants some spaghetti-o for himself?

 

[Mr.Bucket]

Not saying like it’s only a woman’s job to make food but generally that’s how things are with kids. They will ask a woman for help, especially since the three younger of the kids are girls.

Probably because most dads would just be like "What do you want me to do about it? You know where the kitchen is."

 

[Maude Snew]

<unfolds paper>
<puts on reading glasses>
<clears throat>

Spoiler: The paper

 

[Himedall All-seeing Waifu]

I am working on a Suno.AI album sort of thing, and I made my Nick song. Its called "The Law of Love." The album is 80s themed so I tried going for that Eagles/Toto ballad type of music, it didn't exactly hit the mark, but I like it nonetheless. Enjoy.
View attachment 5921528

Spoiler: Lyrics

[Verse1]
Click on my stream.
And all you would see, is the gleam.
My eyes once had, is no longer there.
Oh how is this fair? In love and war they say.
But lady justice is making me pay.
The price for loving you.
[Pre Chorus]
Oooooh Mandy (ooh Mandy)
[Chorus]
I may be a lawyer (non-practicing)
But I broke the law of love.
You may be a man, ol' Dan.
But like a criminal, you came and stole my heart.
Oh Mandy, from you, I wish to never part.
Statutory romance, to the 69th degree.
Wouldn't you agree?
[Musical Interlude]
[Verse2]
Always in sight, like a demon lurking in my corner.
Always over me, like some cats stuck in my ceiling.
Screw my kids, they don't even matter, and my wife doesn't realize.
This is all an act, I've dropped my Christian guise, and I'm just super gay for guys.
Super gay for yooouuu
[Pre Chorus]
Oooooh Mandy (ooh Mandy)
[Chorus]
I may be a lawyer (non-practicing)
But I broke the law of love.
You may be a man, ol' Dan.
But like a criminal, you came and stole my heart.
Oh Mandy, from you, I wish to never part.
Statutory romance, to the 69th degree.
Wouldn't you agree?
[Final Verse]
Say yes please, oh Mandy.
Buffalo Dan, ain't he dandy.
With some big grippers, man handle me like Jackie Singh.
Lets sing together.
Lets ride away, in your Lincoln, and play with our logs together.
Forever...
And ever...
Oh Mandy.
[End Song]

This is beautiful. Bravo! We have some quality creative shitposters. I am honoured to post alongside you--even if I am more autistic than artistic.

I don't drink alcohol but it would be so fucking weird and funny that right after his once in a blue moon doctor check up that said his liver is fine, his liver decided it's had enough and it never occurred to him it could really be actually his liver this time and he only went to check it again until it got real bad. People did say liver failures tend to pop up suddenly without any forewarning.

View attachment 5922790

Hmmm... Was sober January a prescription from a medical professional to try to get a handle on his numbers? This is unsupported speculation, but if we see him drinking less, we might have an answer as to whether his liver numbers are doing well or not. It could be other substances destroying his body, though, to be fair.

After re-listening to it on MATI I’m leaning towards it being likely true as well.



Same. It might not be a completely accurate representation & the motivations for sharing the story seem sus, but overall, it does more or less align with facts already established.

Another thing, Aaron specifically was being asked for food. He didn’t say they ask him and/or April. Usually if kids need something & there are visitors in the house, they will ask the woman or the woman will volunteer. Not saying like it’s only a woman’s job to make food but generally that’s how things are with kids. They will ask a woman for help, especially since the three younger of the kids are girls. So what’s going on where the Rekieta parents are absent & so is April, leaving Aaron & the kids hanging out alone? Why are the children being left alone with some guy who plainly admitted he doesn’t give a shit if they eat or not, he wants some spaghetti-o for himself?

I think it is true, but there is some hyperbole in there. Aaron knows how to craft a joke better than Nick, and I see it as exaggerated like the 'I-hate-my-wife-who-cannot-cook' or the 'My-kids-are-shits' shtick that used to be staples in comedy.

I will repeat again, that a lot of peoples' domestic situations would horrify outsiders. Each family or household develops their own routines and mores that would seem like 'dysfunction' to outsiders, but it works and is 'normal' for the family. You only discover it is 'strange' when you swap stories with your mates.

 

[Pippa's Greasy KB]

Hmmm... Was sober January a prescription from a medical professional to try to get a handle on his numbers? This is unsupported speculation, but if we see him drinking less, we might have an answer as to whether his liver numbers are doing well or not. It could be other substances destroying his body, though, to be fair.

If anything nick would try to cut alcohol BEFORE a check up in an attempt to make his results look better to the doctor and then go back to going hard on the alcohol after the doctor's visit. It's not gonna work in my opinion but that's the kind of person nick is, I think.

 

[Swole McPole]

To anyone who doesn't know, it's a nine volume novel, purportedly an autobiography, and the subject of it isn't even born until the fourth volume. It was written in the 18th Century by a clergyman, yet is full of experimental, bawdy, and even stream-of-consciousness text prefiguring writers like Joyce. It's well worth the read if you can get past slightly archaic language and a deliberately completely broken plot.

And if you don't have time for the nine vol original, you can watch the movie, as written by one of my neighbours:

She is in her 40s. None of those guys are going after her because she is "hot". They would be going after her because Nick looks like a cuck and she looks like a slut.

And they're hanging out in swingers bars.

 

[Mourning_Cloak]

Best part about Rekieta's autistic rant about butter dishes where he unsurprisingly blames women is that it implies that men are so retarded they have to be told by women (who are all brainless, helpless bimbos) to put handles on butter dishes. They aren't smart enough to think, "hey maybe we should put handles on these ceramic kitchen dishes." But we can't "tell" them to do this because we "aren't at home."

Nigga just use butter out of the tub or go to a thrift store; it won't be hard to find a vintage microwavable butter dish at those. Salvation Army will sell it to you for like $2 at most.

The claim about hungry kids and Spaghetti-O's is not unexpected but still very sad nonetheless.

 

[gh0stiexo]

Nick's excuses sound like what I'd say to my boss when I don't feel like going to work.

 

[Lubby Smith]

His five neglected, starving kids have to beg strangers to feed them SpaghettiOs.

You laughed when he called himself a real hood nigga.

APOLOGIZE

 

[Crocodylus Acutus]

His five neglected, starving kids have to beg strangers to feed them SpaghettiOs.

You laughed when he called himself a real hood nigga.

APOLOGIZE

Spaghettios are for white bread ass niggas.

Real hood niggas feed their kids this:


So no, I will not be kissing the balldo today.

 

[FedPostalService]

You laughed when he called himself a real hood nigga.

He should be feeding them cornstarch

 

[AnOminous]

Got through watching the last MATI Rekieta. I haven't tuned into Nick's streams since he first introduced us to the Balldo, but I knew about his desire to go into standup comedy. The Butter Dish Rant made me feel drained in a way that only Rich Evans can explain.

What's funny about this weird, perverted faggot is he's never funny when he tries to be, but he's hilarious when he tries to be serious, like shower calls. He literally called nool from the shower to try to booly him. That kind of shit is hilarious. When he tries to make jokes, though, it's pure cringe. Can you even imagine calling someone in the shower to try to bully them into agreeing with you?

Nick's level of faggotry is what has made him a joke to all normal people.

Nick's excuses sound like what I'd say to my boss when I don't feel like going to work.

Except you'd get fired if you did this every single day. It's like every day, this faggot says I don't want to do my job. Forget what I promised yesterday, I'll gladly eat a hamburger today and not pay for it tomorrow.

 

[FedPostalService]

What's funny about this weird, perverted faggot is he's never funny when he tries to be, but he's hilarious when he tries to be serious, like shower calls. He literally called nool from the shower to try to booly him. That kind of shit is hilarious. When he tries to make jokes, though, it's pure cringe. Can you even imagine calling someone in the shower to try to bully them into agreeing with you?

Nick's level of faggotry is what has made him a joke to all normal people.

But you’ve heard of a butter dish, right?

 

[Captain Manning]

Except you'd get fired if you did this every single day. It's like every day, this faggot says I don't want to do my job. Forget what I promised yesterday, I'll gladly eat a hamburger today and not pay for it tomorrow.

He's totally still under contract though.

Like, the only person on Rumble they gave a contract renewal to after telling investors they were not gonna do the contracts anymore.

Right?

Right?

 

[AnOminous]

But you’ve heard of a butter dish, right?

I believe it's a dish that stores butter, maybe with a top? Huh? Is there some secret meaning for this term that I'm missing?