Nicholas Robert Rekieta / Rekieta "Law" / Actually Criminal / @NickRekieta - Polysubstance enthusiast, "Lawtuber" turned Dabbleverse streamer, swinger, "whitebread ass nigga", snuffs animals for fun, visits 🇯🇲 BBC resorts. Legally a cuckold who lost his license to practice law. Wife's bod worth $50. The normies even know.

[Maude Snew]

How can he both be in the simultaneous states of the best health of his life, fitter than he was in high school according to his own doctor, yet also dying weekly, WEIRDly every Monday after a weekend bender with the degenerate swinger friends?

Scrödinger’s Twat.

Just like it was never a law channel, he was never the good conservative Christian, he never supported free speech, he's always been at war with Eurasia Josh Moon. Double pozzed good.

 

[Philly Phunk Machine]

Fortunately they made some handy dandy animated GIFs and have a FAQ:

Spoiler: GIFs

View attachment 5934914View attachment 5934912

Also while I was on the FAQ I came across this gem:

Yeah wouldn't want to make a niche fucking product now would we.

Gotta love when the designers knew they needed to include extra support rings because soft ballsack meat is structurally superfluous when it's the foundation of your device designed for thrusting.

brb going to patent a broom that uses my eyelashes as the hair

 

[AnOminous]

Ummm sweetie that's called a ballgasm:

I am pressing X to doubt that anyone has ever had a "ballgasm."

 

[Sharpeteer]

Ummm sweetie that's called a ballgasm:

I am pressing X to doubt that anyone has ever had a "ballgasm."

I actually forgot about this. I fucking hate that this is even a thing that people talk about. It just sounds like something people say to distract from a limp dick problem, which seems to be the entire premise of this product in the first place.

The fact that this is all something Nick tried to teach people, and try to convince everyone was a good thing... JFC. How is this guy even allowed to talk about Christianity without getting the plagues from God himself? I'd listen to those scammy pastors that try and get your money before EVER listening to a Balldoman.

 

[AltisticRight]

Ummm sweetie that's called a ballgasm:

I remember a section talking about consulting one's doctor if there's a history of conditions such as testicular contortion.

Can you imagine the conversation?
>Hey Dr Goldberg I wanna use the balldo
>Da what
>Balldo, a Ball dildo
>Oy vey
>It's a device that attaches to my scrotum, I would like to penetrate my wife with it
>There is no low for the goyim
>I have a history of testicular torsion and erectile dysfunction
>This means you shouldn't use the balldo!
>No. Incel prude. I WILL use the balldo
>No refunds
>I will have a ballgasm, Jew child, enjoy shabbat
>Now I wish I wasn't a survivor

Literally unreal, a torture device advertised as a kinky sex toy. What's next, shall I patent the Pear of Anguish and call it the bumount? Balldo will probably buy that too.

 

[Truly Rural]

"I was vomiting this morning, that was fun.... but it stops so that was good too"

This is what will happen with Nick, sooner rather than later.

 

[LonelyEggRoll]

The Baldo brand would be relying on the type of men who would use a baldo, being the very sort to be unable to admit that ballgasms don’t exist, because they have been unable to have one.

If they are asked were they able to achieve one when using their baldo, they will always feel like they have to say yes, so each of them thinks they are the only one who isn’t actually having ballgasms, whilst in fact they are all lying to save face.

All the while going home, strapping their balls into this contraption in the hopes they will have the ballgasms all their friends are also lying about having…. what an absolute fucking nightmare.

 

[ChromaQuack]

I dead ass expected him to start rambling about Dayton, Ohio after that brain fart. First, he started to get Mersh numbers, now he's finally having Mersh strokes. The only thing Nick's good at is hitting every rung on the way down.

Knowing his history with animals I hope he doesn't start stealing cats too, it might see him moved to the zoosadist part of the site.

 

[AncientPhosphur]

Fascinating argument Rekieta. Unfortunately all I got out of it was:

.

Is that what Aaron sees when Rekieta uses the Balldo on him?

 

[Swole McPole]

She looks like the type of trashy hoe who’s addicted/“formerly” addicted to Xanax or alcohol. The kind that is still clinging onto when she was cool in high school/college and she gets passionate nostalgia for “the good old days” whenever she hears a song from some shitty nu-metal/pop-rock band like Buckcherry. The kind of chick who “knows where to get suboxone strips…if you want, I mean, I’m just sayin.”

So the typical Locals winemom then?

 

[Retink Retunk]

an you imagine the conversation?
>Hey Dr Goldberg I wanna use the balldo
>Da what
>Balldo, a Ball dildo
>Oy vey
>It's a device that attaches to my scrotum, I would like to penetrate my wife with it
>There is no low for the goyim
>I have a history of testicular torsion and erectile dysfunction
>This means you shouldn't use the balldo!
>No. Incel prude. I WILL use the balldo
>No refunds
>I will have a ballgasm, Jew child, enjoy shabbat
>Now I wish I wasn't a survivor

You're far too good at understanding the thoughts of the chosen people.

 

[HodgePodgeRogerDodger]

God the Christian video is dripping with contempt. Just seething in anger and dismissive of people. He does his “serious voice”.

There’s just so much in these moments that make you hate him. Like his misunderstanding of “in vain”, he throws away any illusion reveals he’s not poorly catechized. The Catholic definition of “in vain” is mixed with the Jewish practice of tying oaths to God (much like in Court) and that you shouldn’t invoke God to curse as it diminishes yourself. Yeah, there’s vanity in asking God to help you win, but most prayers Jewish, Schismatic Christian, Protestant Christian, and Muslims ask for God’s assistance. You effectively invoke God for no reason, you invoke him in vain. There is no purpose for it and God is important.

Also, he hates cake donuts. @AnOminous can we send this white bread-ass nigga to the penis balldo exploding chamber to explode his balldo immediately?

 

[GaryGray]

That's called high blood pressure. I'll get veins popping on my head if I get pissed off enough or from too much caffeine. With Rekieta it is probably from speed, either prescribed or otherwise.

Way back at the start of Rekieta's career he talked about having some disease related to anger and heat. I cannot remeber what it was but maybe that plays into the veins thing. Ir could all be bullshit since now he seems to get upset on stream all the time.

 

[AnOminous]

Also, he hates cake donuts. @AnOminous can we send this white bread-ass nigga to the penis balldo exploding chamber to explode his balldo immediately?

No, because as a non-practicing lawyer, he is immune to legal processes. He will simply have to take dicks up his ass like the homosexual he is. Sorry. I don't make the rules.

 

[Balldo's Gate]

Aaron Imholte gave more information about April's speeding ticket on his morning show today shortly after playing a video of Mersh defending Steel Toe Morning Show.

Aaron claims that the ticket had the wrong make, model, and license plate for April's vehicle, which would make it even more embarrassing that Nick not only failed to get the ticket thrown out, he managed to get April on the hook for more than she would have paid from the start.

Aaron says that Nick told them he would "do what I can", which turned out to be literally nothing. Aaron also embarrasses himself by admitting the Imholtes paid Rekieta $0, far more than his expertise was worth.

 

[DDBCAE CBAADCBE]

I actually forgot about this. I fucking hate that this is even a thing that people talk about. It just sounds like something people say to distract from a limp dick problem, which seems to be the entire premise of this product in the first place.

The fact that this is all something Nick tried to teach people, and try to convince everyone was a good thing... JFC. How is this guy even allowed to talk about Christianity without getting the plagues from God himself? I'd listen to those scammy pastors that try and get your money before EVER listening to a Balldoman.

But he’s got like a ton of kids, right? So if he does have a limp dick problem it has to be a somewhat recent development I’d think.

 

[Doctor John B. Zyklon]

I wanted to write movies and books... but that wasn't gonna happen because I live in the Midwest.

I have a friend from the midwest who is doing just that; and he started while older than Balldo, and with no degree in creative writing (I believe).

Pathetic.

C'mon dating and sex talk, c'mon don't let me down Balldo.

 

[AnOminous]

Aaron says that Nick told them he would "do what I can", which turned out to be literally nothing. Aaron also embarrasses himself by admitting the Imholtes paid Rekieta $0, far more than his expertise was worth.

Nickhole, being literally a less than useless faggot, should have to be paying his "client" money.

C'mon dating and sex talk, c'mon don't let me down Balldo.

Has he dropped his "small law firm" intro yet? Because that shit is embarrassing if he can't even handle a speeding ticket because somehow, he's "sick" every day he agreed to do something. He literally can't even show up for a traffic ticket. That's how mentally ill and drunk he is.

He literally can't do ANYTHING.

 

[Strix454]

shortly after playing a video of Mersh defending Steel Toe Morning Show.

Wow. I just have to let the idea of that sink in for a moment. Ol' Steel Toe should probably find a better defender.

Aaron claims that the ticket had the wrong make, model, and license plate for April's vehicle, which would make it even more embarrassing that Nick not only failed to get the ticket thrown out, he managed to get April on the hook for more than she would have paid from the start.

Nick also accomplished an automatic plea of guilty for her unless he is able to fix it in the next eight days. Unless he fixes things, she has waved her right to trial and is just guilty.

 

[AnOminous]

Nick also accomplished an automatic plea of guilty for her unless he is able to fix it in the next eight days. Unless he fixes things, she has waved her right to trial and is just guilty.

Plus he guaranteed she also has to pay court costs. Great representation! She is literally worse off than getting bonus costs thanks to having an absolute loser as a no-show "lawyer." Good jerb, Nickhole.