Nicholas Robert Rekieta / Rekieta "Law" / Actually Criminal / @NickRekieta - Polysubstance enthusiast, "Lawtuber" turned Dabbleverse streamer, swinger, "whitebread ass nigga", snuffs animals for fun, visits 🇯🇲 BBC resorts. Legally a cuckold who lost his license to practice law. Wife's bod worth $50. The normies even know.

[nut butter]

Most pathetic display he's ever done.

I remember watching a stream years ago where Nick was literally talking about the difference between "fun" and "joy". He was saying that watching your kids grow up, and growing your relationships with the people you love isn't always fun in the moment, but it brings more and more joy to your life over a longer period of time. I swear it was a long discussion too, he was very clear on the point that fun stuff is always fleeting, while things that bring joy would build up and get more and more rewarding and that's why he made joy a priority in his life over doing fun things.

It's almost like the concepts of fun and joy got flipped in his head. For the past couple of years he's been trying to have more and more "fun" because now he thinks that that's what enriches peoples lives, whereas having kids and building a relationship is a worthless drag. Even the show - it was all about building these storylines that would be built up over months and years. His analysis of Dick's case, Vic's case, all the long-term cases led to all sorts of interesting character studies of the people involved and interesting crossovers with the people surrounding the case. It made people want to come back and see what would happen next. It was often a little dry, sometimes even boring in the moment, but the cases became more and more interesting over time.

The difference between now and then, both in his life and his stream, is that he isn't putting down roots. Everything he does and everything he talks about is wrung dry after minutes. His life's become a dustbowl and he can't understand why - but he used to understand. Fun is like candy: it goes down easy, but it rots you from the inside out; joy is like a stew, something hearty, it isn't "fun" to eat like candy is, but it's still good and it's enjoyable for years - it will keep you healthy instead of rotting you away.

 

[Sharpeteer]

You have my sympathies:

View attachment 5967130

No good Doc. We already know, so we'd just be in the past, while already knowing what's coming.

 

[AnOminous]

The difference between now and then, both in his life and his stream, is that he isn't putting down roots. Everything he does and everything he talks about is wrung dry after minutes. His life's become a dustbowl and he can't understand why - but he used to understand. Fun is like candy: it goes down easy, but it rots you from the inside out; joy is like a stew, something hearty, it isn't "fun" to eat like candy is, but it's still good and it's enjoyable for years - it will keep you healthy instead of rotting you away.

Nick is such a piece of shit, such a fucking joke, nothing about him is good, he drools, he's a skeletal freak, he does nothing of any value, he's a complete and utter faggot. He does absolutely nothing of any value. He can't even show up for a fucking traffic ticket. What a complete LOSER!

 

[Sharpeteer]

Nick is such a piece of shit, such a fucking joke, nothing about him is good, he drools, he's a skeletal freak, he does nothing of any value, he's a complete and utter faggot. He does absolutely nothing of any value. He can't even show up for a fucking traffic ticket. What a complete LOSER!

Every time you write these I imagine them in Goodman's voice. It just works.

 

[Captain Manning]

Every time you write these I imagine them in Goodman's voice. It just works.

I've said this before, but I really wish somebody would do a John Goodman voice AI and run @AnOminous's Rekieta posts through it.

Bonus points if it's full rage-mode Walter Sobchak Goodman.

 

[Oxyjen]

I've said this before, but I really wish somebody would do a John Goodman voice AI and run @AnOminous's Rekieta posts through it.

Bonus points if it's full rage-mode Walter Sobchak Goodman.

Shut the fuck up Nicky, you’re out of your element!

 

[Sharpeteer]

I've said this before, but I really wish somebody would do a John Goodman voice AI and run @AnOminous's Rekieta posts through it.

Bonus points if it's full rage-mode Walter Sobchak Goodman.

Consider it done. I'll add it to my growing collection.

 

[Bowl of Ramen]

I've said this before, but I really wish somebody would do a John Goodman voice AI and run @AnOminous's Rekieta posts through it.

Bonus points if it's full rage-mode Walter Sobchak Goodman.

I would love to see Walter go to town on the Rustang.

 

[not william stenchever]

I would love to see Walter go to town on the Rustang.

THIS IS WHAT YOU GET WHEN YOU BALLDO A STRANGER IN THE ASS!

 

[Friend of Dorothy Parker]

View attachment 5957414View attachment 5957415For @AnOminous here’s the screen shots that I could get. There’s a better frame in the second one, but I can’t capture it.

He’s entering his Daniel Larson look phase, I see.

Speaking for me, I always show up to this kind of thing because something like half the time it gets thrown out because the cop just straight doesn't show. I'd also show for a points offense and try to plead it to something with no points. And if, in the unlikely event I have actual evidence the ticket is bunk, then I can give that a shot.

I have zero idea why Nickhole would do something that only made him look like a completely incompetent dumbfuck. He is more of a fuckup than Russell Greer at this point. I think even Greer could handle a traffic ticket.

Nick, though? He is a colossal fuckup, an absolute loser and a failure, and can't even do the most basic task correctly. He is a goddamn retard, a malpractitioner of law, and should have his license yanked because anyone represented by him in anything actually serious would be at serious risk of harm to their life and liberty, thanks to this phenonenal douche-canoe's complete incompetence.

Whats amazing is that even with 10 extra days, he managed to do nothing. He could just have recommended to her that she pay the ticket by the deadline, and both of them would be in a better position.

What a farce. He just needs to drop the facade and go inactive. It's his best hope of limiting his personal damage and embarrassment to the informal arena.

And professional responsibilities aside, if he were a decent friend, moneybags would have paid it for her if she's in some kind of compromised state [nevermind his professional responsibilities to show up and behave like her lawyer]. It's one day's worth of crappy pantry snacks for that complete tacky, chaotic disaster of a kitchen. Or maybe two days' worth of booze.

Hey, Nick, you still have professional responsibilities even when you agree to represent someone as a favor.

I am a super lawyer.

Please tell me he never made it onto a Super Lawyer list. Yes, those lists are long and are largely the product of firm marketing efforts, but there are soft benefits from getting listed, and the lists aren't populated by malpracticing lawyers 9/10.

Was the fine originally $130. Surely there has to be some sort of financial penalty for wasting the court’s time?

MN is kind.

 

[Captain Manning]

Please tell me he never made it onto a Super Lawyer list. Yes, those lists are long and are largely the product of firm marketing efforts, but there are soft benefits from getting listed, and the lists aren't populated by malpracticing lawyers 9/10.

I don't believe so. I was cracking a joke. He used to make fun of the Super Lawyer lists back during Weebwars. We all did, TBH.

That said, Sam Johnson is on a Super Lawyer list, and despite being further derided as a "strip mall lawyer," he was arguably the best lawyer in the whole case.

In hindsight, maybe we shouldn't have laughed so hard at Super Lawyers and strip malls.

 

[DarksydePhil's Tits 2]

Most pathetic display he's ever done.

I don't know if anyone else has brought this up, but that video thumbnail always reminds me of that "Confused Travolta" meme:

 

[Sharpeteer]

I don't know if anyone else has brought this up, but that video thumbnail always reminds me of that "Confused Travolta" meme:

View attachment 5967384

He references it at the end, so yes that's what it's supposed to be.

But Jon Travolta has been in some great movies. Nick Rekieta is the most pathetic man that ever lived.

 

[DarksydePhil's Tits 2]

He references it at the end, so yes that's what it's supposed to be.

But Jon Travolta has been in some great movies. Nick Rekieta is the most pathetic man that ever lived.

Ah, it's been a while since I've watched the clip itself. My bad!

 

[AltisticRight]

Ok, I don't get why he is called baldo.
Is that a reference to the dog or that he is getting bald?
Anyway, he looks so awful.

The Balldo(tm) is a patented silicone device that a man straps onto his scrotum. The two openings on the side allows both testicles to protrude out. The two rings are mounted to the scrotum. This device turns the scrotum into a flaccid tubular object, or a dildo. The user is supposed to vaginally penetrate his woman with it, while the penis now acts to stimulate her clitorus.

A "ballgasm" (citation needed) can be achieved through this device when thrusting.

If this sounds eerily similar to the mediaeval torture device known as a pear of anguish, then you're a just a fun-hating Scandinavian Incel prude who has no humour. The Balldo is funny and it is weird! You probably don't even find the gazillionth "woman fat ACK ACK ACK" joke funny.

If you're a guy and this makes your scrotum shrivel, aside from being a normal man, you can also look up testicular torsion and the myriad of conditions that come from it. Enjoy the pain, stalker child. If you're a woman and something like this sounds not just painful, you also don't want a guy to shove his scrotum in you, then you're just some sex-negative feminist landwhale (ie you're heavier than 100lbs) who probably goes to church every Sunday. Stop being fat.

Anyway, welcome to the thread. We all learn something new everyday. Give yourself a million Tucker Carlson reaction faces.

 

[Robotic Kiwi]

So, out of curiosity, if tomorrow Nick quits drinking (and assuming he survived withdraw and DTs) and makes a return to actually covering law and stuff he used to, do you think he'd be able to recover his lost audience? Perhaps even return to being somewhat entertaining?

I doubt he will ever have the same number of audience, he has permanently stunted his opportunities due to booze.
As for returning to being entertaining as he once was, it will take years to recover the brain cells he has lost due to drinking to get back to that level, and by that time he will have become stale. Maybe if he has a wrangler to stop his nonsense, and appologized for all the dumb / horrible stuff he has done, he may become slightly more entertaining.
That said, he has transitioned into another form of entertainment: one that has hundreds of people laughing at the dumb shit he says and does after it was clipped. This transition has not helped him in the slightest, and will only get worse

 

[Tiny Chinaman]

So, out of curiosity, if tomorrow Nick quits drinking (and assuming he survived withdraw and DTs) and makes a return to actually covering law and stuff he used to, do you think he'd be able to recover his lost audience? Perhaps even return to being somewhat entertaining?

No

 

[Shagedan]

Nick’s trial streams are the worst casualty of his heel arc. His best talent was getting a bunch of actually knowledgeable guests on the same stream and facilitating commentary with surface level observations that could be expounded upon or argued by the guests, then saying something stupid and edgy to smooth over conflicting personalities. He had genuinely good instincts as a show host before he destroyed his mind with alcohol. It also got him to shut the fuck up while court was in session, so there was no time to practice his awful stand up comedy.

So, out of curiosity, if tomorrow Nick quits drinking (and assuming he survived withdraw and DTs) and makes a return to actually covering law and stuff he used to, do you think he'd be able to recover his lost audience? Perhaps even return to being somewhat entertaining?

New trial streams would be boring. He could reliably pull Ahn, Branca, Joe, Meghan and Lead Attorney on for a little while but I can’t imagine they keep coming back when he spends half of his show trying out his standup bits and the other half responding to trolls. He can’t put on an entertaining one man show without liquor.

 

[Space Pope]

Was the fine originally $130. Surely there has to be some sort of financial penalty for wasting the court’s time?

The fine for speeding 1-10 mph over the posted limit is $40. The default general surcharge amount is $75. So if she had paid it instead of going to court she would have paid $115.

 

[AltisticRight]

Locals has to have the shittiest moderation in all of history considering that absolute faggot can make death threats, rape threats, terrorist threats and literally commit felonies 24/7 and those fucking retards don't do jack shit.

So where is Matthew Princess' whiney faggy blogpost about an imminent threat to human life? -still--life- threatened to rape people, murder people, and bomb federal buildings. Surely this is more serious than a fat tranny scammer being called a man because he is a man, right? This guy is threatening to kill cops.
See this:

Still-Life makes the chat nervous:
It isn't just Kiwis concern trolling. I think this is probably why he got his fist account banned

Spoiler: Admitting to death threats is not a good idea

Still-Life​

Feds and cops are shit and I'm planning on killing one. Do something faggot. I know you can/ will.

BillDozer74​

God fucking dammit. This site has very few rules… it’s not that hard.

Still-Life​

If I could piss on their souls while they die I would, but that's why I use the bag and the hammer.

Still-Life​	Fuck you bitch, I'll cut your throat with a box cutter in real life this week.
Still-Life​	I'm going to hurt you in real life. There is nothing you can do.

Still-Life​

This IS a death threat!

Still-Life​

I'm going to beat your stupid face into a silly little bowl, then piss and shit and it, send it to your family.

Still-Life​	You are so stupid you cant tell hurtful words from faggots raping a kid. Fuck you fatso.
TheMildOne​	This right here is why I know you don't understand free speech.
Still-Life​	So SILENCE ME
Still-Life​	SILENCE my free speech.

Still-Life​

Cops are shit and I'm planning on killing one in real life.

I wish I could go back to before I knew about Baldo.
Why the fuck Nick?!, you degenerate fuck!

You're welcome. You are now Balldo pilled.

Why would you waste time and money hiring a lawyer and going to court to avoid a $130 fine anyway. What am I missing?

Maybe she wants to kill herself because her husband can't give her an orgasm but she's too much of a coward, so she hopes the state will do it for her instead.
And what's a better way than to elicit the help of LEAD ATTORNEY Balldo?