How are you doing? - Kiwi Farms Wellness Check

Take heart @Powdy Riper. TMS works. It doesn't last forever, but it will help.
I have had refractive medication-resistant depression for my entire adult life. I have to maintain a full time job in a pretty autistic field, as I have no family and am 'functional' -- at least on the clock. Also, disability gibs isn't enough to liveon unless someone is actually carrying you. TMS helped me survive a really ugly period in my workplace, up to a point. Be vocal about needing some kind of help. I found that the effect lasted me about a year or year and a half; I think if things had gone differently in my real life it would have been longer. I am seriously exploring doing the series again if I possibly can. Please believe me, I have depression bad enough that ECT didn't help, but TMS had at least some effect. Good luck and keep us posted.
 
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Well, I did about as well on the exam as I expected. Not ideal, but above average, so that's something, I guess. Have some job interviews coming up next week, so hopefully something pans out.
 
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bliblblblbbllb said:
Something similar happened to a friend of mine, not in high school but in his trade school. I'll say the same thing I told him: I'm not sure your account is 100% earnest, but it doesn't really matter from the POV of trying to help.
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Oh absolutely man., truth be told not much of what I said was more serious then me telling my friends I was going to rape them. Thankfully, getting sent to a psychward in all likelihood ties those tweets to my medical history and protects employers from seeing them . It also helps that I was a minor when I said those things so there's a little grace there. I deleted the social media that got me into hot water in the first place, and I am definitely going to not indulge in edgy humor like my life will depend on it anymore. In a way, this experience might of helped me grow more as person. Hopefully this is the last time the real world and world behind a screen clash heads with each other for me.
 
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I think I had an allergic reaction for the first time in my life. Clearing out the attic and the dust (and mouse shit and many other things I'm sure) that built up there since 1942 (the newest date on the thousands of papers stored there ) and I guess I breathed in too much of that shit and was sneezing and blowing my nose for three days. It's ok now and I did go there to continue but more careful and it's still ok.
 
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New job finalized, learning extremely quickly how much I don't know shit about the position. Somehow, everyone (almost, there's always the grains) likes and supports me. Now is when the real work begins. My fellow Kiwis, keep fucking trying. You may fail, as I may fail. But you have to keep going, because you have to learn to be comfortable with the uncomfortable. Grow, and keep pushing yourselves. No matter how minute, learn something every day; that's not a work deal, that's a lifelong standard to keeping yourself sane.

Sorry for the Ted Cuck Talk, but I hope you can find your way if you're in bad times. Life sucks, try to make it better, if ya can.
 
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I've finished my current major goal, now I dont really know what my next concrete goal should be.

Getting back out on the market, but getting into a relationship doesnt really work as a goal.

I've got 2 weeks before I start my new job, so for now I'm starting to earnestly exercise again, a kind of fill in goal.

I fucking hate running.
 
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My big coping mechanism when dealing with heavy shit in my personal life has always been through humor, go through the world laughing at the trivial stuff, cracking jokes and taking everything in stride. I might be having a shitty day, but if I can make someone else laugh, it makes me feel better.

It’s getting harder and harder to keep that mentality lately. I have to psych myself up lately to not just hermit myself away and brood with only my cat for company. At least going out and working keeps me grounded.
 
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I got a raise and I'm not feeling compelled to spend it, so that's good.
On the flipside I still don't feel comfortable around the coworkers, to the point where I unintentionally talk like a fag with my shit all retarded, and everyone gossips. It seems like they're all unhinged in different ways and I can't read them at all.
 
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WhoBusTank69 said:
On the flipside I still don't feel comfortable around the coworkers, to the point where I unintentionally talk like a fag with my shit all retarded, and everyone gossips. It seems like they're all unhinged in different ways and I can't read them at all.
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Your only option now is to intentionally become the most unhinged retarded fag in the workplace that they're uncomfortable to gossip about.
 
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Overachiever said:
Feeling embarrassed and disrespected. A random old lady was picking a fight with me when I was out doing groceries. Her husband was strange too. No idea how something so minor could destroy my mood for today.
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Consider it a wake-up call to really start putting in time at the gym so you can take the rematch.
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