Nicholas Robert Rekieta / Rekieta "Law" / Actually Criminal / @NickRekieta - Polysubstance enthusiast, "Lawtuber" turned Dabbleverse streamer, swinger, "whitebread ass nigga", snuffs animals for fun, visits 🇯🇲 BBC resorts. Legally a cuckold who lost his license to practice law. Wife's bod worth $50. The normies even know.

[NSA Intern]

He truly is Ty Beard's apprentice.

DAMMIT NICK WE LOST THE KIDS AGAIN

 

[NSA Intern]

Rekieta's so twisted and zonked out that he's starting to unironically look like the witch from Atmosfear.
Even got the same long nose, how touching.
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I petition balldoman's new name to be Noseferatu

 

[borsabil]

Perhaps my account is still too new to say such a thing, but I'm really getting bored of these new accounts popping up in here all the sudden, and seemingly do nothing except try and shit up this thread with the absolute worst takes ever.

It's one thing to disagree with the dog piling on one guy, and that's fine I guess, but the retardation it takes to say that everyone here would also do cocaine and abuse their kids if they had any kind of fame or money? That's not "I disagree with you", that's just brain damage talking.

It seems like almost every day now, it happens at least once. I have personally taken the stance of just not replying to them at all, because I know they will eventually just go away, whether it's because they get bored of being an idiot and move on, or they get the boot, so replying to them just acknowledges their time here as worth something. I haven't personally reported anybody for shitting up threads, but it seems like others do, and I think that's the correct approach.

There's only overwhelming physical evidence that the Balldo was a heavy drug user and alcoholic. All we have is firsthand eye witness testimony and direct admissions from Nick himself that he is a sex pervert that loves watching his wife getting railed by other dudes. We can't be sure that he ever hit the bottle hard except seeing him on youtube getting hammered every time he streamed. Also how can we know he's still drinking? I mean he could be going cold turkey even as we speak, it's well known that alcoholics with the DTs get off the booze by getting into arguments on their Local's DM group instead of wanting to die while shitting and vomiting in a bucket. His kids are obviously whining spoiled brats who should have gotten themselves a paper route to pay for groceries and soap instead of snitching on their own parents.

What must it be like to be a balldo licker? I honestly can't fathom it.

 

[gang weeder]

Perhaps my account is still too new to say such a thing, but I'm really getting bored of these new accounts popping up in here all the sudden, and seemingly do nothing except try and shit up this thread with the absolute worst takes ever.

It's one thing to disagree with the dog piling on one guy, and that's fine I guess, but the retardation it takes to say that everyone here would also do cocaine and abuse their kids if they had any kind of fame or money? That's not "I disagree with you", that's just brain damage talking.

It seems like almost every day now, it happens at least once. I have personally taken the stance of just not replying to them at all, because I know they will eventually just go away, whether it's because they get bored of being an idiot and move on, or they get the boot, so replying to them just acknowledges their time here as worth something. I haven't personally reported anybody for shitting up threads, but it seems like others do, and I think that's the correct approach.

I think it's Juju fans filtering in as they observe all the drama.

I don’t think it was so much the life of a e-celeb but being able to sit at home with all his bills paid thanks to a trust fund. All that time to fuck around online because he really had no real financial pressure or worries let him devote all his time to fucking around, and eventually finding out, online.

The psychological cushion of a trust fund’s extremely big safety net sounds great, but I think the entire reason Nick could not handle an adult job/ career is due to not ever really having to do it. It’s an ambition killer. When he actually did find the “perfect job” via lawtube streaming he couldn’t handle it because he had never had to handle any challenge or responsibility, long term, his entire adult life.

A decade of grinding a not-ideal job would have allowed him to appreciate the lucky lawtube break and not fuck it up, less he have to return to some grind. All Nick had to worry about by blowing off his lawtube stuff was returning to the stree-free life of living off a trust fund.

I mean yeah if you hand me a trust fund I will definitely sit around taking advantage of that rather than doing a career that is actually difficult. I think most people would. I feel confident in saying that I wouldn't flush it all away with coke and hookers though. And getting a lot of Youtube money all of a sudden wouldn't be any different. My first thought would be how can I invest all this money so that I never have to care about money again. Only after you do that, if there is still more Youtube bucks left over, maybe you indulge a little bit in buying a fancy car or whatever.

Hookers and coke would never enter the picture regardless of any of this. I have a hard time fathoming how and why someone does what Nick did. Null's theory that he was jealous of Juju is the one that fits best IMO. Maybe part of it was that he felt like he was indulging in a real high status elite lifestyle by doing all this shit.

 

[Swole McPole]

The psychological cushion of a trust fund’s extremely big safety net sounds great, but I think the entire reason Nick could not handle an adult job/ career is due to not ever really having to do it. It’s an ambition killer. When he actually did find the “perfect job” via lawtube streaming he couldn’t handle it because he had never had to handle any challenge or responsibility, long term, his entire adult life.

I agree with this. I think the fact that he knew there was serious money in his background -- his house was paid for, his education was paid for, etc -- meant that it really didn't matter to him whether he made it as a lawyer or not. Most people in that situation -- law school to pay for, wife and five kids to house -- would be working at a law firm and doing horrendously long hours, attempting to get those billable hours high enough to make partner. None of that mattered to Rekieta. He never really bothered to learn the business -- presumably because he thought he didn't have to.

But if I didn't like my job, a streamer is the last thing I'd think of being. I'd find it humiliating. It's just online begging, as far as I'm concerned. I'm somewhat embarrassed by how much time I spend online and by how much I post. It's a non-productive misuse of my time. The idea that I'd create a streaming show just seems bizzare to me -- and yet Rekieta saw it as a potential new career. I've always presumed people do it because they want some degree of fame/e-celebrity. I can't think of why else you'd do it.

Perhaps he saw it as a route to more sexual partners? The whole local winemoms thing?

Hookers and coke would never enter the picture regardless of any of this. I have a hard time fathoming how and why someone does what Nick did.

I completely understand the appeal. If you never sowed your wild oats in your youth, you get a taste of those drugs and that strange pussy and it's as though a whole new world has opened up to you. Sexy. Exciting. Glamorous.

The drugs kind of blind you to how seedy and tawdry the whole thing is so it's kind of easy to get caught up in it until your whole world comes crashing down.

 

[Kuruminha]

Never trust anyone with a goatee. ANYONE!

 

[变性黑鬼]

She’s not gonna fuck you, bro.

I actually think her fucking you is a perfectly realistic goal if you're anywhere in the Minnesota area or willing to travel.

 

[Midnight Energy Drink]

Imagine having 5 children and spending 3.75 years of your life pregnant and at the end of it all you’re thanked by male faggots including your husband with “you are ugly now.“ Same people will soy about muh end of the white race, no one wants your babies if you just hate them for it in the end retards.

You think that's bad? Imagine getting stage fright at Hedonism 2.

 

[RodgerDodger]

i don't see how this is any different in principle for a cop "smelling weed" and using that as a pretense to search a car. arguably and often it's bullshit, but it usually holds up in court. expert opinions from LEO about drug use is seldom challenged except in crime dramas.

Because it’s seldom if ever wrong. Cops, EMT’s, your Clergy, your relatives, your friends and neighbors. They all know exactly what shit you are doing from observing your behavior. And they are correct 99.9% of the time. Contrary to the internet, the cops generally don’t frame you for drugs or alcohol use. They generally don’t have to. Probable Cause does not equal beyond a reasonable doubt.

in the case of Cokeita, any reasonable observe will come to exactly the same rational conclusion the investigating officers did upon viewing that video.

 

[NSA Intern]

That would be highly unethical. (and I do mean that in all sincerity).

It's extremely unlikely there hasn't at least been break-room gossip over whose cases are worse, and the scandalous details. He's likely to know about Crackets' comments, about his female coworker no less.

 

[Burn It All Down]

Nick had everything I wanted and pissed it away. What a fucking moron. It wouldn't matter if he weren't the living embodiment of Pride. He can fix this if he course corrects. He won't becauseof his pride. A little pride is a good thing, such as taking putting forth your best effort because you take pride in your work. But this is a whole other level.

 

[Goatchoker]

Never trust anyone with a goatee. ANYONE!

That’s the single thing that’s not allowed in the GC household.

I’ll deal with funny porn mustaches and playoff beards but I swear if a goatee makes an appearance in my house there’s gonna be some arguing. Hard pass.

 

[AnOminous]

Don't forget, they were asking the judge for dismissal without prejudice, which is a sign that they weren't confident that kyle would get a favourable verdict.

Are you retarded? First off, the motion was to dismiss WITH prejudice. If you do not bring it, you can not move for a judgment notwithstanding the verdict if you do lose. And if you ARE confident you're going to win a case like that, you're a goddamn swaggering idiot. So you're suggesting Kyle's attorneys should have just ASSUMED he'd win and waive the chance to get rid of the charges even if there was an unfavorable verdict?

A motion to dismiss is filed in virtually every criminal case. It's absolutely fucking ignorant to claim that, in particular, was somehow a mistake.

Other motions were for mistrial, and again, it would have been malpractice not to file them. You had a corrupt prosecutor and a weak judge who allowed all kinds of fuckery. It would be better to roll the dice on another prosecutor and judge than have Rittenhouse in prison getting shanked for a few years while appeals went on. As for choices to object, that's a strategic decision. If you don't object enough, you could waive important issues. If you object to every single goddamn thing, you look like a bunch of desperate bitches, and again, this can influence the jury.

The fact that Barnes's dickriders agreed with him shouldn't be surprising. The fact there were also legitimate criticisms doesn't really make Barnes's sour grapes any more appropriate and, again, HE HAD AN ETHICAL OBLIGATION TO A FORMER CLIENT. Nobody else did.

 

[Fake News Anchor]

He truly is Ty Beard's apprentice.

You do get extra points for filing early. The extra points allow you to ensure that you don't make a fatal mistake with something simple and routine. Maybe ask Ty Beard about that.

Senator Rekieta, 2030, teaching his young apprentice the ways of his old master.

 

[Nick's Snort Tube]

Hoping this works for locals Feb 24 stream of nick snorting coke off camera Coke break!

 

[Friend of Dorothy Parker]

If he isn't still getting fucked up why would he throw away 5 grand (10 grand for him and Our Wife) on a none conditional bond to avoid random testing?
He's not gonna get that 5 grand back.

The only reason to pay that is to avoid the piss tests.

I have to tell you, if I had it available I’d think I’d absolutely pay $5000 for not having to report in, be subject to random testing, be unable to leave the state, etc., for 3 months.

Besides, that’s only 2 ounces of coke, right?

He might have paid 80 grand for them. That doesn't mean they have a resale value of 80 grand. I'd be surprised if they have any resale value at all -- perhaps a nominal $1000 at most. There's a reason why you can't find the work of most contemporary artists on the open market -- sales of their work is generally tightly controlled through dealers and galleries. This is because if people knew how little the work is worth once they've cut a cheque for it, they'd never buy art again.

Art you buy through galleries can usually be resold for current value (ideally more than you paid), less commission either to a gallery or an auction house. I have done this once or twice and “made” a little money or swapped for something in the same ballpark, but the art market is fickle and slow, so I wouldn’t (EVER) choose it as an investment strategy in the least. But if Nick bought at a charity auction for which his parents were big deals, he very likely paid way over market/resale value.

I doubt any of us thought we'd be doing what we are now when we were kids.

My favorite commercial of all time was that one with the little kids in grownup clothes saying things like, when I grow up, I want to claw my way up to middle management.” Because no one aspires to the jobs most of us have.

 

[Party Hat Wurmple]

You bring up a good point, and to all the newcomers to the Balldoverse Collapse (prolapse?), here’s an essential part of Nick lore as well: Kayla had EIGHT children. Three of them are angel babies. I went on a tear several months back about this. Was I moralfagging? Maybe. (Although I certainly don’t hold Kayla in high regard right now.) But insulting his living children is enough, did those three children who passed also ‘ruin’ her body?

This friggin nigga decided swinging was a good idea after 5 kids and 3 miscarriages?! THREE?! 8 kids between the two of you and you still decided this shit was okay to do? Bitches are lucky it wasn't 4 Angel Babies.

 

[Red flaming panda]

The memes that have been coming out of this thread have been all kino. Some of the finest fucking shitpost I've seen come from kiwifarms in a while.

 

[MirnaMinkoff]

yet Rekieta saw it as a potential new career. I've always presumed people do it because they want some degree of fame/e-celebrity. I can't think of why else you'd do it.

Definitely for the attention and some level fame. Nick’s attitude screams “I’m an unrecognized, unappreciated genius”. Being a very typical, dorky white dude with no obvious talents or skills was hard for a guy with a big ego. Nick felt he was special and destined for big things.

Nick is a dorky looking dude, not just his appearance, but his dress and social skills. Streaming worked for him thanks to the safety of the screen. Nick seemed like a goofy dork at all the IRL events he went to. Taking LSD at a hotel to hang out with “colleagues” at a convention is reatrded shit a frat boy might do. It screams stunted social skills. (But I think the hot tub stream confirmed what a smooth operator Nick was in person.)

He would not have been getting much attention from women as a young man, so he been desperately trying to make up for lost time and too much porn watching post-40.

If he had been a conventionally handsome guy he would have wanted to be an actor. Since he wasn’t handsome he thought of himself as a witty comedian and independent thinker, even if nobody else did.

 

[Catgirl Tyranid]

Perhaps my account is still too new to say such a thing, but I'm really getting bored of these new accounts popping up in here all the sudden, and seemingly do nothing except try and shit up this thread with the absolute worst takes ever.

You've more than earned your pearls so clutch away, the reddit tourists have been especially bad lately.

The new accounts have added quite a bit of tedium to what otherwise is a genuinely enjoyable tsunami of milk. It'll pass, some of the new users will end up functional kiwis, but I hope the reddit tourists fuck off back to the censored hell hole they belong in or at least decide to lurk and just sticker react for a while before jumping back into the fray.

Senator Rekieta, 2030, teaching his young apprentice the ways of his old master.
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Nick had everything I wanted and pissed it away.

Don't be jealous of Darth Rekieta. Jealousy begets anger and anger begets Cow Tipping. Cow Tipping is not the way of the Kiwi. A Kiwi watches, laughs, and shares his joy with others. That is the path to true kino.