*Puts on cowboy hat*
Now hold on there partner, I understand that fat chicks ain't pretty. They ain't even worth marrying. But if any of y'all folks ever porked a cow, you'd know that sometimes those grease rolls work wonders. Sure, you could get the same feeling from sticking your willy in a loaf of bread dough, but you don't get the warmth, passion, or feeling of being drowned in a cow's fat rolls. That thrill of "Oh shit, if she rolls over, I'm a dead man!". Now look, I understand if most of y'all don't have the equipment necessary to handle a hog, but you need to consider some of us are more well endowed and the average woman who can only take up to half mast, just ain't doing it. Fellas, I urge y'all to reconsider. Fat women aren't gross or disgusting, they're like giant bean bags you can stick your penis into. You can do it anywhere, they don't know the difference. Look all I'm tryin' to say fellers is... don't knock till you try it. Now don't get me wrong, I'm not saying to treat them like people. No sir, they're more like entertainment. They're for practice. And practice only. Welp, looks like my work here is done.
(Sorry this is a lot of autism, but I couldn't resist.)