To be fair to WotC, your typical abuela is already pushing it there. For whatever reason Mexican women get fat once they hit thirty and they never slim down.
Yes, but fat abuelas don't have any teeth, much less huge fucking tusks.
That actually sounds like one hell of a great idea to build a campaign around.
Worse: this is all art in the core rulebooks. It’s worth mentioning that half-elves and half-orcs have been gutted. Instead, we’re going BECMI rules- if you really want to pick a half-race, just pick whichever race your character is most like. (Human or elf for half-elves, for example). Because of this, orcs are playable races from the start now.
And here I was, wasting time laughing at wish.com Havel with the prosthetic leg, when the real comedy gold was right beside him.
Sigh. That wouldn't even pass muster as a magazine cover back in the day. Seriously, look at a few of these Dragon Magazine covers from when I was a kid. And they weren't afraid to draw attractive women in them either. And it doesn't even have to be scanty Boris Vallejo women either, just straight up non-dysgenic beauty.
My dream RPG has two steps: Roll Dice, Laugh at Results. All other rules are optional.
Everything is grindset, mindset, hustle, activism, or whatever. Nobody can have fun for the sake of it anymore in the modern climate (heh) - it's all growth, efficiency, and doing good in everything you do.
For those into freeform campaigns, steal the zip ties myth. As a Britbong, I don't know if it's true, but supposedly the cartels put zip ties on door handles so they know who to kidnap. Some kind of fantasy version could be used by the players to screw over people.
To your first point that's a really cool idea. Find something mundane that the orcs stick outside their house, bring it up every now and then, maybe make it some kind of deep lore check or a benefit if the player is an orc. I could see a party figuring it out then finding a zip tie to take care of a problem only to have it bite them in the ass when the orc cartel figures out they're being manipulated. There's tons of stuff you could use to just expand on the idea.
Also never heard of Paranoia so @Tom Bombodildo do you think this would work for your game idea?Run like a fucking TTRPG version of ResetEra is what it's run like. You even subtly mention something someone doesn't like and you're gone.
Remember a friend who wanted to get into nerd culture but would fear his Dad (inb4 "Dad? Niggers don't have Dads, fake and gay") beating him like a POW in WW2 Japan for "getting involved with the white man." As a Latino...yeah I barely know any other Latino who likes that shit, let alone play it, so no audience on that end...unless they add Dragon Ball to it which is too masculine for that Eldritch Abomination we call Hasbro, and those fags at WotC.
Reminds me of Gunslingers and Grenadiers. A one race (and a half) party doing the dumbest shit imaginable and it working. "Of Orcs and Martinis."
This speaks to me on a personal level. If you want to see a bunch of them, there's this archive here. There's also a website called Blackgate that looks alright from what I've browsed, they showcase various fantasy related things, included some classic artwork.And look at this wizard just chilling on his riding frog:
Macuahuitl, the rocks are obsidian, rad as hell. From what I could gather during my "research" sessions they're either very effective at killing, so much so that it can decapitate a horse (doubtful, most likely just slashed it enough for it to bleed to death), or they were a mixed bag as the Obsidian would break off/into pieces when hitting something too hard (armor, shield, etc.). They were also pretty long too, seeing a bunch of Aztec orcs with these bad boys would be metal. Something like this:
Motherfucker, took me a second. I bet when two master martial artists clash, the entire "cartel" takes a few days off, the kingdom briefly prospers.
It only needs fixed if you want it to be fixed.
Ahh, nice to see both version were accurate, I figured it would fuck up lightly armored folks. Ceremonial use I think was more common, but hey a ceremonial weapon is still a weapon, a damn good one in fact.
Holy fucking ancient. Well, kinda. Still, the last campaign post was 2017? Damn, that's kind of sad. Never heard of either of these sights though.
I cannot wait to see how we die. I've already chosen Death From Above as the Doom on my Reikslander Scout, so let's hope a coconut falling takes him quickly...
I mean, I think you just invented Shadowrun. You had a whole nation of Aztlan that existed South of the border and practiced blood magic rituals and they certainly had orcs and the Ghost Cartels overlapped with that. Still, can go one step further - what's worse than tatted up MS-13 orcs with AK-97's? When they have a feathered serpent as the advisor to their boss, giving him insights and magic support.
That pick inspired part of my homebrew system in which one of the more advanced familiars you could get was a riding frog. Sounds dumb until you see the wizard sitting on its back as it climbs up a castle wall.
There's also the scale and duration of warfare which is a factor in viability. If you're fighting some campaign and massed rank battles in medieval europe or classical Rome or Greece, then your wooden weapon splintering or your bronze blade needing to be beaten back into shape and re-edged after every battle is a hindrance. If you're fighting some skirmish in light woodland and your main goal is to maim the warriors of the enemy tribe once so that they give you tribute or you can capture their women, it doesn't matter if you lose most of the obsidian shards during the battle. You'll be sticking new ones in on your Aztec weekend when you're home again the next day.
