Lolcow KingCobraJFS / Josh Saunders - Amateur musician, YouTube Streamer, wandmaker, and self-proclaimed "sexy goth badboy". Perpetually circling the drain.

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North Oakland Avenue said:
When I get really dehydrated from a drinking binge my body tends to hold onto a lot of water until it finally doesn't and I then have waterfall shits for a day. With the length and frequency in which Cobez pounds the booze, how little he eats on his binge drinking days, and the absolute state of his kidneys/liver- one can only imagine that he's shitting pure foamy water and rabbit pellets at this point.

This is a big reason why alcoholics have an insanely high risk of GI/butt cancer:
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Some of the worst shits I've ever had in my life was when I was a daily drinker. Can you imagine Josh in his sweltering trailer bathroom, gripping the toilet seat as blistering chunks of hot shit lava explodes from his cheeks?
 
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funscape said:
Some of the worst shits I've ever had in my life was when I was a daily drinker. Can you imagine Josh in his sweltering trailer bathroom, gripping the toilet seat as blistering chunks of hot shit lava explodes from his cheeks?
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I think that he's normalized the liquid shits at this point. The horrifying reality is that he probably isn't paying attention to his TP reserves so it's likely that he takes one of these liquid shits to find out that he doesn't have any TP.

Imagine the mini-freakout lmao.
 
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HiveDull said:
I think that he's normalized the liquid shits at this point. The horrifying reality is that he probably isn't paying attention to his TP reserves so it's likely that he takes one of these liquid shits to find out that he doesn't have any TP.

Imagine the mini-freakout lmao.
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These are times you see him change his shirt. Ozzy t converted to emergency tp coming in nicely, ahahahahaha yessssssthhh. If it weren't for this eventuality he may have broken through his current shirt wearing record(30 some odd days?) Don't let me digress though toobz. Fuck sickos(talking about you, Anna).
 
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HiveDull said:
I think that he's normalized the liquid shits at this point. The horrifying reality is that he probably isn't paying attention to his TP reserves so it's likely that he takes one of these liquid shits to find out that he doesn't have any TP.

Imagine the mini-freakout lmao.
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Cobra yelling GODDAMMIT, FUCK THE TROLLS DOOD as he runs to the kitchen for paper towels leaving behind a trail of liquid shit droppings.
 
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Sicko Hunter said:
I've been trying for literally a month straight in my head at work to write a parody of the song "The KKK took my baby away" but Cobra themed "KFC took the double down away" but I can't get the lyrics down. I really need help with this. Can you guys help me out?
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Have some gothic AI generated pop punk as an inspiration. I listened to this banger at work this morning.
 
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Sicko Hunter said:
I've been trying for literally a month straight in my head at work to write a parody of the song "The KKK took my baby away" but Cobra themed "KFC took the double down away" but I can't get the lyrics down. I really need help with this. Can you guys help me out?
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It came around for the holidays
But eventually, it'll go away
It's just not fair
It's just not fair
It's just not fair, nom sayin'

It came around for the holidays
But eventually, it'll go away
It's just not fair
It's just not fair
It's just not fair, nom sayin'

KFC took the double down away
They took it away - away from me

KFC took the double down away
They took it away - away from me

HEY! HO! HEY! HO

Now I don't know
Where my baby can be
That sicko Colonel
He took it from me

Now I don't know
Where my baby can be
That sicko Colonel
He took it from me

Ringing, ringing, ringing up corporate
To find out where my baby went
Ringing, ringing, ringing up my doordash guy
To find out if my baby's alive

Yeah, yeah, yeah!
 
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Al Dente Alighieri said:
Can you ex-alkies stop turning this thread into your own personal diary of your hard times and virtuous willpower? We get it, we are glad that you're not longer getting sloshed and pissing off your family members, you've found Jesus and we are all very happy about it.
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the-dude-the-big-lebowski.jpg

Who said that I found Jesus?
 
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Al Dente Alighieri said:
Can you ex-alkies stop turning this thread into your own personal diary of your hard times and virtuous willpower? We get it, we are glad that you're not longer getting sloshed and pissing off your family members, you've found Jesus and we are all very happy about it.
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You should let people talk about what they want to talk about. I enjoy hearing from former drunks it breaks up the loops we have so often here.
 
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Whatisgoingon said:
What's the farthest you guys think Cobes would go for Ozzy, like if Ozzy himself told him to do something? I don't think he'd get him to shove something up his ass like Chris Chan, but you'd probably be able to get him to eat his veggies or dye his hair pink TMDWU.
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He hates sickos more than he loves Ozzy, and you're wanting sicko shit
 
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Whatisgoingon said:
What's the farthest you guys think Cobes would go for Ozzy, like if Ozzy himself told him to do something? I don't think he'd get him to shove something up his ass like Chris Chan, but you'd probably be able to get him to eat his veggies or dye his hair pink TMDWU.
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If Ozzy and Cobra ever met, I can guarantee you he would stop being his idol the picosecond Ozzy gave some constructive advice simply due to the fact that it would conflict with his instant gratification mindset, and considering Ozzy is old now and suffering massively from the choices he did in his youth I doubt he'd give any "do more drugs, kid" advice.

Same for everything he "holds dear" in his life, the only reason he plays guitar, or played as I haven't seen him touch it in like half a year, was because he thought it all sounded the same, his monkey man stringing and someone who is a professional - If he were forced to learn the chords he would've dropped it the same half hour and claim only retards enjoy that instrument.

On a side note, all that conversation we had during the early year I wager is going to start resurfacing again but much harder, I don't want to doom speak, but he genuinely looks like a homeless man that you see on the sidewalks, speaking as one as well, that you know will not survive to see the winter's end.
 
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