Lolcow KingCobraJFS / Josh Saunders - Amateur musician, YouTube Streamer, wandmaker, and self-proclaimed "sexy goth badboy". Perpetually circling the drain.

[semitooth]

it's deliciously ironic that he pops off on that "cobra's disgusting!!!" rant immediately after the beard fly landed on him

It’s horrifying to think he has ever fingered a woman with those gross nails. If only he’d use some of his paypig money to get a good manicure.

surprised he hasn't given himself a throat infection just from putting his fingers in his mouth tbh

 

[JambledUpWords]

surprised he hasn't given himself a throat infection just from putting his fingers in his mouth tbh

Throat infection is coming in nicely toobz. I don’t need a manicure

Anyways, why do they call them manicures
when it’s women that get them most? They should be called womanicures because the only way to cure women is to send them money to look nice, but I digress

 

[TheCakeIsALie]

it's deliciously ironic that he pops off on that "cobra's disgusting!!!" rant immediately after the beard fly landed on him

surprised he hasn't given himself a throat infection just from putting his fingers in his mouth tbh

Alcohol kills germs, trole.

But for real, he doesn’t go out enough to pick up germs from others. He’s kind of in his own little bubble in that way.

The skin has bacteria on it that’s supposed to be there naturally. So most people get sick as a result of others, not of their own doing unless you’re like Chantal, who drip dries and doesn’t wipe. That will give you an uti

 

[Agamemnon Busmalis]

The big difference is that his dry spell is undefeated

Come to think of it, has there ever been a lolcow whose situation was improved by ending their dry spell? Seems like it's universally a major step down.

 

[Ravier Xavenblood]

Come to think of it, has there ever been a lolcow whose situation was improved by ending their dry spell? Seems like it's universally a major step down.

If anything, a cow having sex marks the start of their downward spiral like in Cobra's case. Or it's just embarrassing and pathetic like Boogie2988 when he spent 5 figures on sugar babies.

 

[UncommonParlence]

I'm fine with the prerecorded video streak going on. Cobes' reluctance to stream means he has to focus down ad revenue, which means while we get more "video responses" and "rants" we also get more mead updates, more drink comboes, and more cooking videos. #TrueCobraFanz4Lyfes are eatin' good right now.

I assume you mean video "responces"? And yes, I agree. Especially if it means he comes back to streaming later, refreshed and angry. It's like he always says.... he'll stream when he feels like it. And when he feels like it is when the trols hop off his nutsac. I for one support our BOY! in these trying times. I ain't mad at Cobeson. He's just trying to survive in a hostile ecosystem. If that means ripping off idiots on Cameo with 5 second "shoutouts" why that's just a hilarious application of Boglim's razor, which apparently cuts both ways. Heil mother fuhrer. I'll be your, fuck sickos, hucklebearer. Can't stunt... I digress.

 

[Angry Shoes]

Come to think of it, has there ever been a lolcow whose situation was improved by ending their dry spell? Seems like it's universally a major step down.

I knee-jerk disagreed with this but after really thinking about it...damn.

 

[Blue Miaplacidus]

Come to think of it, has there ever been a lolcow whose situation was improved by ending their dry spell? Seems like it's universally a major step down.

The keyword is lolcow. They're not normal people and they don't improve their lives and seek out healthy relationships, they make terrible decisions like sleeping with prostitutes paid for by CWCKi forum trolls, rape their senile demented mothers, fuck clout chasing psychopath women doordashed to your house by trolls, sleep with paedophiles who hop from zlist eceleb to eceleb looking for crumbs of clout, etc. It always ends in failure because they're retarded, and it's hilarious.

 

[Quandale Octavius Dingle]

The boglim is looking extra red and bloated in this recap. Bit paunchy around the midsection too. I hate to think but I'm wondering if Cyraxx is the end stage boglim that cobes is barreling towards becoming. The greasy skullets, the skin conditions, infections, scabbed dicks, mangled rotten teeth, insects living on/in them. Fuck sickos toobs but I'm curious how the BOY'S condition is going to continue deteriorating.

 

[Tiny Chinaman]

The boglim is looking extra red and bloated in this recap. Bit paunchy around the midsection too. I hate to think but I'm wondering if Cyraxx is the end stage boglim that cobes is barreling towards becoming. The greasy skullets, the skin conditions, infections, scabbed dicks, mangled rotten teeth, insects living on/in them. Fuck sickos toobs but I'm curious how the BOY'S condition is going to continue deteriorating.

Its all about keeping pests out of the trailer. If he can manage to avoid bed bugs and rats he will be fine. Or at a least as fine as he can be given his habits

 

[mikaylatoads]

Come to think of it, has there ever been a lolcow whose situation was improved by ending their dry spell? Seems like it's universally a major step down.

iirc, Chris-Chan's virginity loss either coincided with the bras for men/tomgirl arc, or it was right before it.

 

[Lei Wulong's Left Leg]

There's definitely a correlation between Lolcows and not having sex, but I'm uncertain as to how it fits in with Cobes. I mean, objectively he was on a pretty good track when he was with Stephanie. That girl looked at him like he was her soul mate(which I still argue that she was). It wasn't until the breakup that he started going wrong.

 

[JambledUpWords]

Come to think of it, has there ever been a lolcow whose situation was improved by ending their dry spell? Seems like it's universally a major step down.

With lolcows, they’re very maladjusted and therefore any sex they get from someone is as, or more maladjusted than themselves. The nature of lolcows means that due to deep personal and/or developmental issues, they have a very difficult time attracting anyone resembling normal. If they do get anyone more normal, it’s at a point in their lives where they are able to blend in with normal society better.

Cobes was honestly on a good track in life with Stephanie, and if he finished job corps and/or kept himself far enough away from the internet during his early years at Wendy’s, he’d be getting steady work. Stephanie may or may not be with him, but he’d at least have more going for him. That said, you could still see Cobes’s flaws even back then. Chronic lateness and genuine cognitive deficits with basic tasks meant that getting a job beyond minimum wage would be difficult, and he’d likely still need SSDI to pay rent. I can’t see most women wanting that, because it would mean needing to earn significantly more than Cobes, in addition to being a stand-in parental figure due to lack of life skills. Now though, Cobes can’t attract any normal woman, and any woman he can attract, like NAL, will make his life more miserable. It’s why I think he’d just be happier with more sex dolls and Chaturbate than real life people.

 

[ASeabear8952]

iirc, Chris-Chan's virginity loss either coincided with the bras for men/tomgirl arc, or it was right before it.

Chris decided to lose his virginity to a prostitute because he was afraid he would get locked up for the Michael Snyder incident and therefore never lose it via an organic relationship. This was indeed at the beginning of the tomgirl saga.

 

['Ole Dente]

Now though, Cobes can’t attract any normal woman, and any woman he can attract, like NAL, will make his life more miserable. It’s why I think he’d just be happier with more sex dolls and Chaturbate than real life people.

That’s generally all he really wanted out of a relationship with a woman, anyway. Someone to put his penis into and silently listen to him yammer on about Terrance Poop. I don’t think it’s necessarily any narcissistic tendencies that led him to view relationships that way, I think he just can’t conceptualize what a real relationship with a woman actually is because he’s still developmentally a 6th grader.

Jokes on Cobra now though, he has the exact opposite of what he wants. A woman that never shuts the fuck up, is a constant headache, is mentally insane and riddled with insecurity, isn’t around enough to pump his mead seed into, drinks all his booze and smokes all his weed. Unironically, Cobra is the more mature one of them both and it’s placed Cobra in the worst nightmare he can imagine: A world where he has to be responsible for something.

 

[Dope Cat]

This is now the coma saga, his trailer "content" is drab. I don't know what it is, maybe the dull new setting, rarely going live, no doordash. No glass tapping has put Cobes into hibernation mode. Another thing I noticed, most of the sub humans who watch his videos are pieces of shit. It's no secret that these sort of streamers attract the dregs of society. Cobes is an especially powerful magnet for these maggots, the type of degenerates who would suck Daniel Larson's taint "for the memes." Hopefully, at least 85 percent of them die extremely uncomfortable prolonged deaths, and all the faggots using the word "research" when talking about the "Cobarverse" -- your mom is a cunt and a terrorist for not aborting you.

 

[Click reply to view]

iirc, Chris-Chan's virginity loss either coincided with the bras for men/tomgirl arc, or it was right before it.

The first crossdressing pics were September 2008.

First bra video was in April 2010. Full Tomgirl stuff was March 2011.

Chris met Mia Hamm in April and May 2012.

The Brassieres For Males facebook page was set up in August 2013.

There is a timeline there, but it's fairly spread out.

 

[Alex Hogendorp]

View attachment 6235289

View attachment 6235552
h o t

w a r m

t o r t i l l a

I definitely wouldn't be shaking hands with him. I really don't want an already rotten Silurian fungus growing out of my throat.

 

[TheCakeIsALie]

This is now the coma saga, his trailer "content" is drab. I don't know what it is, maybe the dull new setting, rarely going live, no doordash. No glass tapping has put Cobes into hibernation mode. Another thing I noticed, most of the sub humans who watch his videos are pieces of shit. It's no secret that these sort of streamers attract the dregs of society. Cobes is an especially powerful magnet for these maggots, the type of degenerates who would suck Daniel Larson's taint "for the memes." Hopefully, at least 85 percent of them die extremely uncomfortable prolonged deaths, and all the faggots using the word "research" when talking about the "Cobarverse" -- your mom is a cunt and a terrorist for not aborting you.

Maybe Clint laid down the law. Those mobile homes are 60 to 80k ish plus rent. Cobes can’t afford that.

 

[Agamemnon Busmalis]

Maybe Clint laid down the law. Those mobile homes are 60 to 80k ish plus rent. Cobes can’t afford that.

He likely told Cobra there simply isn't anywhere else to live if he fucks this up. You can only trash your reputation with so many landlords before you become blacklisted.