Megathread Trannies posting their L's Online - Heckin valid people posting their funny misfortunes on the internet

[cypocryphy]

Still very much a cope. also I wonder about the type of woman that would date a man that chopped off his own penis.

He's with the type of woman that finally makes a 30-something year old man in a dress feel like a Princess.

 

[Panzerfrau]

He's with the type of woman that finally makes a 30-something year old man in a dress feel like a Princess.

Can confirm, my troon ex was endlessly bitching when I told him to do "male" chores (like mowing or changing bulbs I physically can't reach) because they are "not affirming".
On the other hand, "female" chores like cooking and washing dishes were giving him depression too, so you just can't win. Hope this "cis lesbian" is enjoying doing everything while her "princess" is playing vidya and gooning on reddit all day long.

 

[TismFarmer]

TiF reveals she's now on hormones to her sister. Sister responds by telling her to not dare hurt their nieces.

Link | Archive

If little Dood is on T-gel, she could definitely hurt her nieces in absolutely horrifying ways completely by accident if she's as dumb as she sounds...
Imagine a T dick on a 3 year old girl...
Edited to not double post.

What did you think would happen if you left your injectable titty skittles to bake in a hot car for hours? Dumbass.
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Spoiler: Image he spoilered
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2 fucken seconds search would have told him it's fine up to 180°C!!
He's just an idiot.

 

[Geraldine]

Just a little non-binary selfie for your amusement.
Link Archive

Spoiler: No porn, no gore, but still spoilered in case you're eating.

 

[Izdaja Slika]

This is kinda funny because I assume OPs coworkers definitely know about her pooner status
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Spoiler: Text

passing but at what cost

I live in a liberal city so it's hard to know sometimes whether people can tell I'm trans. People rarely seem surprised when I tell them that I'm trans, so I can't tell if it's news to them, and they only occasionally treat me differently upon finding out.

This is why I love being a line cook. Men in a kitchen will be so explicit about my (currently hypothetical) dick. New sous chef came by my station in a lull, so I was doing some prep. He said "Can I touch?" and then manhandled the carrots on my board, shooting me a "this you?" at any reasonably dick-sized carrots. Managed to get out of that one by asking if we have an hr department. Another cook just straight told me not to touch my dick after plating something that had jalapeño in it. Another guy asked me if my balls were sweating as much as his during a particularly hot day. Escaped there by asking if he wanted to check. Dudes are asking me "how like [my] pussy" (this one was racial) and how I feel about creampies. I haven't even been at this job for a week.

Anyway pretty sure half the staff here are evil but it's gonna be really funny if I ever choose to tell them that I'm trans. Seriously considering telling the carrot guy bc I feel it will be very entertaining.

No matter how many ridiculous delusionista pooner narratives I read, I can never shake the feeling that some of them must be trolls. She can't be that fucken dumb. She can't think i) men talk like that and that's normal and ii) if they did talk like that, the joke's on them because she's about to reveal she's trans!

She can't be that fucken dumb....can she?

 

[Fapcop]

But she’s explicitly getting the same haircut. Obviously most women have cuts more elaborate than “long buzz on top, short buzz on sides”, but if she’s getting a man’s cut either way she shouldn’t have to pay extra.
I will accept that women are pickier customers. If you fuck up a woman’s cut there’ll be hell to pay. If you fuck up a man’s cut, odds are he won’t even notice.

Yeah true.

While it's bullshit that the barber suddenly gets paid 20% less because the pooner goes "But I'm a guy now!", it's also BS that she paid more to begin with for a mans cut.

The pooner should told them that she's not going to pay extra for a mans cut just because she's a woman, but that would take initiative and standing up for oneself.

You know, the kind of traditionally male qualities that pooners THEORETICALLY are full of. In reality, these chicks will fold for a gust of wind, and then go home to cry about it on reddit.

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Troon thinks "heteronormative" straight men don't actually like vagina. Troon has never been around middle-aged construction workers or tin knockers.

WTF is this insanity?!?

What does "actually liking vagina" mean?!? Sit and stare at it for hours?! Do these "queer straight people" invite a vagina for a fancy dinner at an expensive restaurant and sit and talk about books and theater for hours?

 

[Geraldine]

She can't be that fucken dumb....can she?

Yes she can, but it probably isn't a simple case of inborn low IQ.
Call it selective dumbness. Or doublethink.
It's seen in a lot of places.

invite a vagina for a fancy dinner at an expensive restaurant and sit and talk about books and theater for hours?

Some guys do approach it that way.

 

[Tragi-Chan]

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Troon thinks "heteronormative" straight men don't actually like vagina. Troon has never been around middle-aged construction workers or tin knockers.

So he spoke to two men who don’t get laid much and they said they don’t like vaginas. Frankly it sounds like they might not be as heteronormative as he thinks IF YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN.

 

[Susanna]

Yeah true.

While it's bullshit that the barber suddenly gets paid 20% less because the pooner goes "But I'm a guy now!", it's also BS that she paid more to begin with for a mans cut.

The pooner should told them that she's not going to pay extra for a mans cut just because she's a woman, but that would take initiative and standing up for oneself.

You know, the kind of traditionally male qualities that pooners THEORETICALLY are full of. In reality, these chicks will fold for a gust of wind, and then go home to cry about it on reddit.


WTF is this insanity?!?

What does "actually liking vagina" mean?!? Sit and stare at it for hours?! Do these "queer straight people" invite a vagina for a fancy dinner at an expensive restaurant and sit and talk about books and theater for hours?

I guess what I find most weird is that this hairdresser feels the need to do separate pricing in the first place. Men and women don’t normally go to the same places for haircuts. Men prefer barbers where you sit down in a chair in an otherwise empty room while a Turkish man buzzes you with the electric razor and it’s done in five minutes, women prefer nicely decorated salons where another woman takes care to shampoo, cut with scissors, put in some product for you, and then put it in an updo. It can be a very long process, especially if you’re doing dye or such. I’m almost friends with my preferred stylist, we chat the whole time, but as I understand it men prefer the Turkish man don’t speak to them at all beyond “that’ll be 40 euros”, just sit down, get buzzed, pay, and go. The (very) few men who use the same salon I do pay the full women’s price, because the idea of them paying less just for being men would simply be absurd. It’s a higher tier of service, it takes longer, the practitioner has a lot more training, women have more hair (both in terms of hairline and length) and take better care of it, so it costs more, there needs to be nothing more to it than that. If a pooner (or any other woman) just wants the Turkish man to buzz her then she could just go to the men’s barber and pay the same as they do (and walk out with just as shit a haircut).

 

[Endangered Species List]

A classic case of the chronically online weeb —> trans —> Vtuber pipeline.

Aspiring vtuber named @KMillkk on Twitter basically swung at a hornet’s nest and called the majority of their (what could have been) potential audience lolicons and fetishists.
TL;DR: If your vtuber model looks like an anime girl, you are a pedo or something like that idk.

Spoiler: Fear the fujo army

Tweet

Spoiler: Phrenology

Tweet

Spoiler: Doubling down

Tweet

Tweet

Spoiler: QRTs

(Sorry, I didn’t see the original post in time)

Spoiler: Pics

Gets kicked off of kofi for being underage

Spoiler: QRTs

Spoiler: The End (for now)

 

[behindyourightnow]

This might be a surprise to you but that's because they are, and always will be, their birth sex, and male and female cognition are fundamentally different.

That's true to some extent, but I think what most of us here find so amusing about pooners (and transwomen, conversely) is that they do even worse than you'd expect, and worse than the average person, despite claiming to be blessed with supernatural cross-sex souls.

Like, if you can imagine some unlikely hypothetical situation where a female person was compelled to do her best to pretend to be a man for a week, it seems to me that the average woman reading this thread, or even the average woman on the street, would do a better job than the average pooner. Yes, they'd be unlikely to actually fool anyone and they would still look ridiculous, but you could still expect better. For example, most women would probably at least attempt to put on a good "How do you do, fellow men?" act rather than hiding in their room crying at the thought of interacting with males like most pooners do.

That's what makes it so funny, that the average soccer mom or Catholic grandmother knows more about the male experience than most FtMs, because those women have actually interacted with a variety of men during their lives, whereas for pooners "men" seems to be a fundamentally an imaginary category that they have picked up from fanfiction and animu comics.

 

[Dr. Butt]

I wonder why that could be?

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"cis cub" pooners think reality is one of those MUH OC drawings on tumblr with the cringey little labels for everything.

women prefer nicely decorated salons where another woman takes care to shampoo, cut with scissors, put in some product for you, and then put it in an updo.

Do women honestly actively want this, or do they just go to salons like that without thinking about it because why would you? I switched to barber shops while in secondary school after I found out you don't have to waste all that time and money on a haircut, and don't have to be sent home smelling of the fifteen random sprays and waxes you told them not to put on at the end.

 

[LaughJoke2.0]

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He's with the type of woman that finally makes a 30-something year old man in a dress feel like a Princess.

Did this asshole pull a Klinger on his Ex-Wife to get out of chores.

 

[Flan Handler]

After seeing myself in the mirror when I got home though it made me feel slightly better. My transition is going well and I’m pretty and femme regardless of not passing

Those eyebrows… oh my.

 

[Dr. Butt]

Those eyebrows… oh my.
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He's transitioning to Keith Moon.

 

[broken chiyron]

Do women honestly actively want this, or do they just go to salons like that without thinking about it because why would you? I switched to barber shops while in secondary school after I found out you don't have to waste all that time and money on a haircut, and don't have to be sent home smelling of the fifteen random sprays and waxes you told them not to put on at the end.

I actively want it, it's the one thing I do to pamper myself. I know there are cheaper haircuts out there if I'm ever feeling skint. If a woman is dumb enough think the full salon experience is the only option, then the old adage applies: a fool and his (in this case, her) money are soon parted.

 

[Positron]

iirc the dinosaur originated from some deranged troon rant about how all terves are just "dinosaurs" who are too old and stupid to listen to the men like they ought to, which some smart women stole because dinosaurs are awesome

Troons like Colin Montgomerie also use the dino emoji because Jurassic Park has parthenogenic "lesbian" dinos.

 

[Catboy Ranch]

can anyone help me find a 6'3" "trans"woman who's into people who set their ring lights at crotch level on the floor

 

[Sebben Crudele II]

They 100% know she is a pooner and they are mocking her.
She is too retarded to realize they are mocking her and instead think that this is how men in a kitchen talk when at work.
She probably thinks that this is some genuine and true male bonding ritual or something and she is one of the boys now.

Someone should ask her "do they only do these very suggestive asks and talk to you only or do they do them to eachothers as well?"
Hard cash says that they only do it to her.

No, professional kitchens are generally mostly male and thus full of immature homoerotic humor. Dudes will slap each other's asses or pretend-hump each other, call each other faggots, it's basically high school boys tier goofing around the whole shift. This is the way they cope with how shit working in this industry is. It's camaraderie.

In this case though, they were 100% taking the piss by constantly telling the pooner how MANLY she is and how BIG of a dick she must have, with reverse psychology. She's being clowned on hard and they totally laugh at her and her half-assed manfacing behind her back.

 

[Susanna]

Do women honestly actively want this, or do they just go to salons like that without thinking about it because why would you? I switched to barber shops while in secondary school after I found out you don't have to waste all that time and money on a haircut, and don't have to be sent home smelling of the fifteen random sprays and waxes you told them not to put on at the end.

I guess I shouldn’t generalise. I actively want that, all my friends actively want it, but that’s a demographic of fairly affluent inner city women. There are women who can’t afford to treat themselves to this, and of course women who prefer to just get the hair cut and then be off, like the men do. You’ll still get shampooed etc because wet hair is easier to style and cut and that’s important for longer styles, but if you want a shorter style there’s no reason you couldn’t go to a barber focused on men.