"Mad at the Internet" - a/k/a My Psychotherapy Sessions

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@Null I want to enlighten you to the glorious world of French Press Coffee.
Not only is French Press delicious, smooth without need of creamer, and higher in caffeine than normal coffee, it's also extremely cheap to make especially relative to the ridiculous $5,000 price of a high end espresso machine.

Here is what you will need:

1. A French Press, I recommend this one. It comes with its own grinder for your beans, its well made, efficient, and affordable.
2. A grinder for your beans, which should be ground fresh and coarse for this kind of coffee. If you go with the recommended press this problem is already solved. I have no recommendations for a separate grinder.
3. Quality whole coffee beans. Right now my favorite brand is Storm Mountain but anything good will work, darker is better.
4. A source of hot water. I prefer an electric kettle and this is the one I own. It works and I have no complaints but it doesn't warrant a specific recommendation as any good electric kettle will work and many people already have one. You could also just boil it the old fashioned way but that takes more time and has less control over temperature.
In the end your total equipment investment is ~$200 plus beans.

And here is my recipe for perfect french press using recommended equipment:

1. fill electric kettle and heat to 204F.
2. Using the scoop included with the press to fill the grinder attachment then grind the beans into the glass chamber.
3. Once the water is heated fill approximately 1/3rd of the way and let sit for 30-60s to allow the beans to bloom
4. add the rest of the water, stir to break top layer of grounds, cover with press top and wait 5-7min depending on beans
5. press the plunger down and pour the coffee into your mug/thermos/pub glass, etc

Hopefully this counts as less than 2 paragraphs since they're numbered lists. Thanks for reading and enjoy the coffee, it may be the only good thing France has ever done.
 
French press fucking sucks fuck off the grains get into the coffee
In my experience they tend to settle on the bottom and if you don't like that then just don't swish the last bit of coffee and rinse them out. I swish the coffee and drink them because I'm not a faggot.

There's no way to avoid some grounds getting in because any filtration method that can reliably get all of them, like paper, also robs the coffee of its oils. The oils are what's important, just like with quality single malt scotch.
 
Electric gooseneck kettle
Hand-turn burr grinder or if you're feeling spendy an electric burr grinder
Aeropress
Whole-bean coffee from a reputable roaster

You only need these four things to make a phenomenal cup of coffee. If you wanna get super autistic with it you can get a Hario V60 for pour-overs but I wouldn't consider it necessary.
 
- A fucking pot to boil water in
- A Glass Carafe with a metal coffee filter, most come with one
- Whole coffee beans
- A BZZZT coffee grinder or a hand crank metal coffee grinder if you're autistic

Grind, heat water until it's steaming out of a tea kettle, but not whistling, pour over. Congrats, you made better coffee than most restaurants.

There are very VERY autistic ways to make coffee "taste better", but if your goal is a pot of good coffee this is the easiest, most reliable way to make it in a timely manner. 10 minutes tops and you can walk around doing other stuff in between pouring water over the grounds.
 
So what exact report did the congressional budget committee sent out that makes the reader "red in the face?" I want to read it myself to see if Josh's "racist" solution is the correction answer. No essentional information should be delayed for a man's diatribe on taxes. We all hate taxes but finding a solution to a growing financial problem of lazies right now is better than seeing your infrastructure collapse without repairs made.
 
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Reactions: I'm a Silly
i completely omitted a huge segment relevant to this stream and i have no idea how

So what exact report did the congressional budget committee sent out that makes the reader "red in the face?" I want to read it myself to see if Josh's "racist" solution is the correction answer. No essentional information should be delayed for a man's diatribe on taxes. We all hate taxes but finding a solution to a growing financial problem of lazies right now is better than seeing your infrastructure collapse without repairs made.
 
that's the issue

1. i need caffeine
2. coffee tastes bad, needs milk, but milk has calories
3. soda and monster taste good, no calories, rots your teeth and is probably poison

how do i get cns stimulation drugs with no side effects
Caffeine pills are legal and have zero calories
 
that's the issue

1. i need caffeine
2. coffee tastes bad, needs milk, but milk has calories
3. soda and monster taste good, no calories, rots your teeth and is probably poison

how do i get cns stimulation drugs with no side effects
If that's all you want just do what we did back in college. A couple of us chipped in for a bag of pure caffeine powder, available online legally, and added a spoonfull to any beverage. Insanely cost effective, it got 5 of us through 3 years of college.
 
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