Nicholas Robert Rekieta / Rekieta "Law" / Actually Criminal / @NickRekieta - Polysubstance enthusiast, "Lawtuber" turned Dabbleverse streamer, swinger, "whitebread ass nigga", snuffs animals for fun, visits 🇯🇲 BBC resorts. Legally a cuckold who lost his license to practice law. Wife's bod worth $50. The normies even know.

[owed to joy]

Rekieta already fucked up by being on stream with Ralph while Ralph was wasted, letting Ralph talk about spending time with the Rekietas. Hmmm, wonder what they could've possibly been doing together. What interests do we think Ethan Ralph, Nick Rekieta and Kayla Rekeita all have in common? And now he's gonna let him dap him up in the courtroom? Great look! Keep pushing for it, Dax!
Speaking of Dax, why hasn't Kieta just gone on BPU with both Dax & Vito yet? Certainly two idiots stroking him would be better than one. Maybe because Vito thinks Rekieta is guilty and has never liked him. And Dax can't stop Vito from asking snarky questions or making snarky comments, but it would certainly cause their show to have more success if they good cop bad copped the little faggot. Maybe even a push up competition between Skinny Girl Nick & Vito the Vast Pedo.
It'd sabotage poor Crackets but Dax could make it up to him. Just send Riley, Ralph & Digibro to go help with the court coverage.

 

[SaltyFanta]

Lies, lies and lies
Lots of lies, more and more lies.
All Balldo does is fucking lie.

He's all lies and malicious insinuations, and for what, to try to downplay his own crimes on the internet. He'd rather call the entire world pedophiles and avoid responsibility just to distract from the crimes he committed towards his own children. It's pathetic how much he needs to try to look cool to the internet.

Someone once observed that 'a judge will decide who the asshole in the room is and find some way to rule against them'.

While this may play in Nick's favor depending on what happens, this is a lesson Nick needs to learn, his coy "I'm not technically lying" might work on black and white by the books law, but people are going to notice this kind of behavior and treat him differently for it.

 

[Whistlin' Crustacean]

This is probably obvious, but just in case you are going and are autistic: it would be smart to never mention you're a KF® Voluntary Member™ while at the hearing. No clever T-shirts, no cute corn lapel pins, none of that funny wink-wink nudge-nudge nonsense.

Practice by taking notes on the first hearing. That way you won't stand out. Do not sit right next to the defendant. If the seating area available has another party, sit near to them, not enough to be creepy. DO NOT LEAVE THE MOMENT NICK'S HEARING ENDS. That's more or less confirming to this cokehead why you're there. The one thing cokeheads are good at is paranoia.

I would humbly suggest that trying to look like a random observer who just happened to be there when Nick's hearing is on in a town of 1000 within a county of 40000 wouldn't work. Everyone literally knows each other. The only utility I see in staying around for another hearing would be to thwart Nick's doxxxxing efforts, as I'm sure he/his lackeys will be filming everyone who comes out of that court after his one. So here's my idea.

Basically, act like a completely ordinary courtroom gawker. Don't cause any fuss. Nick still has 430000 subscribers, this forum has 115000 users. It's way more likely that you're just an old subscriber interested both in the law -- hence the note-taking -- and in Nick's downfall. You think that Nick's not been the same since 2022 and you wish to see the juicy courtroom drama for yourself. You've obviously heard of KF, mainly from Nick himself and his shows with Null. You've never made an account.

Something to that effect. There will probably be many people there who do, in fact, fit the above description. Maybe you'll even make a new friend.

 

[Shark Senpai]

>Fail rate for hair follicle tests for cocaine is 35% across all ages
I'd need a source for that, liar. Also, while it's possible to test for cocaine, usually it's tested for metabolites.
I wonder why he didn't specifically say "cocaine metabolites".
Also, why would any prosecutor rely on a test with over 1/3 fail rates?

He actually qualifies this statement at one point saying it's the fail rate for both false positives and false negatives. The intent is obviously to imply it has a high rate of false positives when it sounds like the opposite is true and the test is fairly insensitive leading to a high rate of false negatives.

 

[DavidS877]

An Uber, assuming he could even find one willing to drive the 100 miles out there, costs over $150. It's a 100 mile drive. If he could find Uber rides in both directions, that's over $300 on its own. It'll take real retard magic to get there successfully.

Maybe Nick will send April to go pick him up.

Looks like there are buses, but they're not direct so I'm sure a normal not-drunk, not-pilled person could do it, I'm not so sure about Ralph.

 

[Sharpeteer]

Look at that wonderful face.

Winning.jpg

 

[Zbk3VmLfujjzjxBd43tL]

So what happens if Ralph/some other retard gets into the courtroom and starts hollering he's from Kiwifarms. You know that's Nick's plan, right? He's doing anything he can to stop anyone from seeing the bodycam footage of the government planting an ounce of cocaine and dirty clothes in his house, and he's dumb enough to think discovering his pedo paypig and Locals member Jason Close had an account here helped defeat Jesu Mon's request for recording.

Speaking of which, if Nick actually did get someone to disrupt the court by recording and presenting his Kiwi Kredentials, could he get charged with another crime?

I have a feeling Nick won't be in the running next year..... or the next 25.

Enjoying prison would be nice, but my hope is Nick spares his family and community any more grief by streaming himself committing suicide in a lulzy way like snorting a couple lines of coke and then running around naked as he hops feet-first into a garbage compactor. Let someone else win lolcow of the year for once.

 

[Oh Darn]

Lies, lies and lies
Lots of lies, more and more lies.
All Balldo does is fucking lie

 

[LimeRikki]

Will fatty Rackets get jail time? Doubtful.

Will he fuck up his probation/ terms of release/ CPS/ sobriety requierments putting him in a solid lead for LOTY three years in a row?

Almost certainly.

The Kiwis are making a fuss
'Bout the soon-to-be-here omnibus
Take notes and work hard
(Don't act like a tard)
A court is no place to act sus!

 

[Mourning_Cloak]

I gave some pondering to Null's dark theory about what shit Nick may try to pull next week too. And the only scenarios I could think of were:

1. Some flavor of setting Kayla up to take the fall, if not outright using this to excise her from the family in the process.
2. Trying to blame it on the oldest child (who is 16/17).

So it's interesting to stop by today and see that #1 seems to be the prevailing thought as to what Null's prediction is. I suppose it's better than #2 but that's like choosing between poop and vomit regarding Nick's actions.

 

[AnOminous]

2. The omnibus hearing will not have anything interesting beyond the mass of retards attending it. Nick won’t say a word.

That skelly was popping up like a complete retard and making irrelevant objections even during the CPS shit. He's too stupid not to say something. He'll have at least one tard outburst.

That said you're almost certainly right that this is going to be boring cut and dry procedural shit. Nick's tarding and gurning will probably be the only entertaining part of it other than him losing on every single thing.

And while I'm not betting on it, it's entirely possible it does indeed settle, possibly before the hearing even begins, and the hearing is just taking the plea. If he has to plead guilty in open court, there's something called an "allocution of guilt" where he actually has to openly admit to having committed the crime(s).

So seeing him bend over and spread 'em like that would be hilarious even if he's just getting a suspended sentence.

I also think that if he holds out, goes through the hearing, it goes very badly, he might also cop a plea then.

Obviously the funniest result would be it goes horribly for him but he still completely tards out, doubles down like Bossman Jack, and takes it to trial.

I would humbly suggest that trying to look like a random observer who just happened to be there when Nick's hearing is on in a town of 1000 within a county of 40000 wouldn't work. Everyone literally knows each other.

Nick doesn't, though. He's the one creepy weirdo from out of town too stuck-up to talk to the local yokels. If they've encountered him at all and they aren't in his church/homeschool group, it's probably online where he constantly talks shit about how much he hates them.

I doubt he's even ever met his next door neighbors. He's just that much of a piece of shit.

 

[Vibralldo]

He actually qualifies this statement at one point saying it's the fail rate for both false positives and false negatives. The intent is obviously to imply it has a high rate of false positives when it sounds like the opposite is true and the test is fairly insensitive leading to a high rate of false negatives.

Then Nick must have given his daughter a ton of cocaine to overcome the insensitivity of the test.

 

[Jex]

Ralph shambles into the courtroom mid session, xanny pills flowing out of his pockets while his gunt oscillates in a hypnotic fashion. Screeching "IT’S NOT TRUUUEEEEEE" while slowly making his way to Rekieta’s side, court staff stricken by fear of getting hepatitis if they touch him. The Judge glares at him and tells the fat retard to get the fuck out of his courtroom.

“LEGAL MINDSET, LEGAL MINDSET, LEGAAAL MIIINDSEET" the angry lump hollers

Everyone claps, the judge is moved by his words. Nick is released right there and then and given legal immunity to drink drive and snort coke off April’s ass forever. Druggie Nick, Nick Fuentes, Null, Nora and the horse all surround Ralph and give him a group hug, all 5 not able to fully reach around his circumference to join hands.

He dies in their arms.

 

[Schlomo Silverscreenblatt]

Expert tips to avoid the Ralphamale

1. Park far away from the entrance (He will tire out following you)
2. stay inside the courthouse for 10 minutes (He will become bored and waddle away for drugs and booze)

 

[IamnottheNSA]

2)Don't let the pig follow you to your car.

Good point. Actually if you can get there by taxi or maybe by means of public transportation - do it. Better safe than sorry.
But in that case you'll have to leave your phones at home, since now you won't have a vehicle to safely store them at. Guess you'll just have to make do.

 

[luigismanslave]

Myself and the two attending with me are charcoal black persons of color, in case anyone was wondering, and will be wearing matching kiwifarms t-shirts. please do not let anyone involved woth the killstream know this. our little secret

 

[AnOminous]

Expert tips to avoid the Ralphamale

1. Park far away from the entrance (He will tire out following you)
2. stay inside the courthouse for 10 minutes (He will become bored and waddle away for drugs and booze)

Just be in the courtroom, since Ralph won't be there.

Unless Nick is actually stupid enough to pay for him to be there.

In that case, he'll make sure to get good and drunk beforehand since even the rage pig knows he can't drink in the courtroom itself. Ralph showing up, obviously being with Nick, and having some hootin and hollerin meltdown would be kino.

 

[owed to joy]

Nick will probably call the cops on ralph and blame Eric July.

 

[genericwhitemale]

A lot of retarded takes in this thread. Let’s set the record straight.

1. Nick’s lawyers and the DA have already worked out a deal. Nick will get a slap on the wrist after a guilty plea.

2. The omnibus hearing will not have anything interesting beyond the mass of retards attending it. Nick won’t say a word. It will all be between the lawyers and the judge. Most of it will be procedural theater that Kiwitards will misinterpret as being ‘bullshit rigging’ when it’s actually all just stuff every competent lawyer goes through before getting to trial. And remember the lawyers have the deal to fall back on so there really isn’t going to be anything surprising or unexpected at this point.

Remember kids, lawyers hate going to trial and they will work out anyway they can to get out of it.

3. 99% of the retards on this thread who say they will show up and take notes won’t bother to show up, and the ones that do show up will leave once they realize how fucking boring this is.

I disagree. I think he's so pig headed and arrogant he'll take this to trial and want to make some objection during the omnibus like he did in the CHIPS case.

 

[repentance]

I still don't understand how Ralph is going to get there and back. A rental car for just one day costs about $200, plus there's a deposit of a few hundred dollars required. He barely has any money and has atrocious credit. It's a 4 to 5 hour bus ride from Minneapolis to Willmar, and costs around $50 (depending on the line). He needs to pay for a motel, food, and other basic necessities while travelling.

Someone donated $500 towards his travel expenses. It seems like he's flying.

If he and Nick are besties now he might get offered a room at Chez Rekieta.