Nicholas Robert Rekieta / Rekieta "Law" / Actually Criminal / @NickRekieta - Polysubstance enthusiast, "Lawtuber" turned Dabbleverse streamer, swinger, "whitebread ass nigga", snuffs animals for fun, visits 🇯🇲 BBC resorts. Legally a cuckold who lost his license to practice law. Wife's bod worth $50. The normies even know.

[N1bbaN3rd]

This dude is basically Supercow. Maybe the Vitophile should do a comic about him, the most degenerate superhero.

It'd be far more poetic for the Balldoman comic to be authored by Eric July.
Eric could even crowd fund it and set the goal at a million dollars.

 

[Me262PrinceOfTurboJet]

Ralph will be there for like 20 minutes until security asks him to leave or stop filming, then he'll just go straight to a bar or restaurant to shovel some diarrhea fuel down his gullet while getting drunk before noon and tweeting "The Kiwi Kowards had to cry to security because they're all afraid of the Ralphamale! SAD!!!" When he needs more money, he'll probably say "If we hit the goal, I'll pay that faggot Medicare a visit and film him hiding behind his fat ugly slut!" Then he'll just take the money and return to his Mexican Hooverville.

 

[AnOminous]

The baldo is just an Ralph that have a somewhat decent family and money.

Balldo Man, Balldo Man
Does whatever a Balldo can.

Since that's squat
That is what
Balldo does
Nothing but
The Amazing Balldo Man!

 

[Procrastinhater]

Don't try to make him more likeable than he is. The baldo is just an Ralph that have a somewhat decent family and money.

He's worse than Ralph.
Ralph is a White Trash drunken wigger that grew up dirt poor with a father who beat him. It would have taken a miracle and an exceptional strength of character for the Gunt to not have ended up the way he is today.
Balldo has no excuse, the guy grew up with a silver spoon in his ass and had opportunities people work their asses for all their lives just handed to him. He had exceptional good luck to be in the right place at the right time with the LawTube shit, a nice house paid for by his parents and a wife and five beautiful kids. Balldo had the American Dream handed to him and he never appreciated it and squandered it because he's a drunken drug addict with no work ethic and no control over his animal urges.

Ralph is a reprehensible piece of shit but he's a pitiable figure. Balldo is just a vile spoilt narcissist that never had to work for anything and thinks he's better than everyone else because his family has bailed him out from ever facing consequences for being scum.

 

[Haru Okumura]

Broke: Arguing for 20 pages about what style and color of suit one must wear to avoid being thrown out of court

Woke:

 

[Me262PrinceOfTurboJet]

Some other drug addict showing up for his hearing is gonna turn to his lawyer and say, "I swear to God, I'm not using! Tell me you see it too! Tell me you see the 5 foot tall walking ballsack in front of the court!"

 

[Procrastinhater]

Broke: Arguing for 20 pages about what style and color of suit one must wear to avoid being thrown out of court

Woke:
View attachment 6322143
View attachment 6322142

Ralph looks old. I've never seen him this thin either.

 

[Vibralldo]

Ralph looks old. I've never seen him this thin either.

You lose weight if you can't afford food

 

[SaidNoOneEver]

Witnesses are literally not allowed to attend anything prior to them testifying.

It's up to the judge's discretion.

 

[AltisticRight]

He actually qualifies this statement at one point saying it's the fail rate for both false positives and false negatives. The intent is obviously to imply it has a high rate of false positives when it sounds like the opposite is true and the test is fairly insensitive leading to a high rate of false negatives.

So he just adds up both numbers...? It still can't be that high.
Is this retard seriously citing those self-report studies again, where the accuracy is defined by it's adherence to correctly self-reporting, and surprise, most people who claim they didn't do cocaine (but did) were tested positive? Is he retarded?
Also surprise, the rates are a lot lower among cannabis users because the plant is less frowned upon and socially more acceptable to most.

While we're at it, here's a study that shows any competent lab's procedure can correctly rule out external contamination of cocaine.

https://academic.oup.com/jat/article/43/7/543/5423761?login=false

https://doi.org/10.1093/jat/bkz022
Unlike other ones, this study is really technical. Basically they got volunteers and contaminated their hair with cocaine samples, and then compared it to volunteers that are known, self-reported users of the drugs. They found reliable ways to discriminate between user and contaminated hair. The contaminant was applied days before evaluation. Maybe a raccoon snuck into Balldo's coomden to rub cocaine into his daughter's hair several days prior to their arrest.

In the present study, it was shown that seized street cocaine samples contained traces of p-OH-COC, m-OH-COC, p-OH-BE and m-OH-BE. In cohort 1 (externally contaminated hair) only traces of p-OH-COC, m-OH-COC, p-OH-BE and m-OH-BE were detected, whereas cohort 2 (drug users) displayed higher hydroxy metabolite metabolic ratios which can be used to differentiate between contamination and drug use. Furthermore, the data revealed that the exclusive use of the BE/COC, NC/COC, and CE/COC metabolic ratios in hair does not enable the reliable discrimination between COC intake and the external contamination of the hair by contact with COC.

Broke: Arguing for 20 pages about what style and color of suit one must wear to avoid being thrown out of court

Woke:
View attachment 6322143
View attachment 6322142

This looks fucking awful and why is the text mirrored? Did this fat tard with quadruple titties run his ugly face through some dumb beauty filter? Shameful.
He looks like discount fat Where's Waldo. He's got the fashion senses of a teenager.

 

[Molag Bal]

I can't believe instead of the battle of Jim's driveway it'll be the battle of Nick's courthouse.

 

[Iron Hamster]

Ralph will be there for like 20 minutes until security asks him to leave or stop filming, then he'll just go straight to a bar or restaurant to shovel some diarrhea fuel down his gullet while getting drunk before noon and tweeting "The Kiwi Kowards had to cry to security because they're all afraid of the Ralphamale! SAD!!!" When he needs more money, he'll probably say "If we hit the goal, I'll pay that faggot Medicare a visit and film him hiding behind his fat ugly slut!" Then he'll just take the money and return to his Mexican Hooverville.

Ralph ain't going. He won't take the chance of a couple Somalis beating him up for another purse.

 

[Swole McPole]

I still don't understand how Ralph is going to get there and back. A rental car for just one day costs about $200, plus there's a deposit of a few hundred dollars required. He barely has any money and has atrocious credit. It's a 4 to 5 hour bus ride from Minneapolis to Willmar, and costs around $50 (depending on the line). He needs to pay for a motel, food, and other basic necessities while travelling.

Rekieta is obviously footing Ralph's bills. He thinks it'll be some kind of own to Kiwifarms if Ralph turns up.

What kind of halfwitted nigger finds themself in court after they've had their children removed by the state because of their compulsive cocaine use and their immediate thought is, 'I know, I'll get that drunken, drug addled moron to come down and advocate on my behalf?'

And people wonder why this cunt was an abject failure as a lawyer?

 

[owed to joy]

You lose weight if you can't afford food

Mexican tapeworm. Probably been drinking the water.

Ralph yelling about how he's personally acquainted with rekieta while rekieta pretends not to know him, will be better than afpac.

 

[Swole McPole]

You’re a fucking moron if you think Nick will go to trial for this.

I said exactly the same thing when the Montegraph summons landed on his doorstep. Nobody who isn't a complete and utter retard wouldn't just withdraw his statement, apologize, send a couple of hundo to a charity of his choice and make the thing disappear.

And yet here we are. Hundreds of thousands of dollars pissed up against the wall and he hasn't even gone to trial yet.

 

[Primer Colonel Ragout]

Balldo Man, Balldo Man
Does whatever a Balldo can.

Since that's squat
That is what
Balldo does
Nothing but
The Amazing Balldo Man!

 

[Balldo's Gate]

>It's not like I've read 40 scientific papers
And that led you to think metabolites can be produced outside of the human body, Englesh lawage litrature majour hedonist freak.
The guy that's struggling to pronounce benzoylecgonine (ben-zoy-lego-knee), cocaethylene (literally pronounced as it's written) and norcocaine (not nora-cocaine, Nicholas Ralph) is now an expert in biochemistry because he read 40 papers. You do you DarkBalldo8888.
Heavens forbid if your daughter tested positive for cocaethylene, for fuck's sake.

There was a lot of discussion in the dedicated thread to guessing what specific metabolites were tested.

If they only found norcocaine or cocaethylene and not the normally tested-for metabolites this sounds like it could actually be correct.

Cocaine itself is one of the metabolites that is looked for, but there are others, like benzoylecgonine, which is also abundant in hair follicles.

The amount and ratio of these two indicates active cocaine use, if they did not detect any benzoylecgonine, they know that the kid did not touch coke, and it was just in the sample, if they found it in a good ratio, they know it was actual use.

Nick, despite doing so much research and reading 40 papers, can't pronounce any of the substances, but it appears he's saying his daughter tested POSITIVE for benzoylecgonine and NEGATIVE for cocaethylene and norcocaine, and that Rekieta claims that benzoylecgonine is the metabolite which is "actually is created outside of human bodies."

Spoiler: Clip

From what I understand, this claim by Rekieta does not have an actual scientific basis, and benzoylecgonine is in fact the primary metabolite which is tested for in drug tests, but I am not a subject matter expert.

I have no clue where he came up with this, but a guess for what happened is that Rekieta looked at his own personal hair test which tested positive for all three and concluded the test which only tested positive for one was faulty.

So he just adds up both numbers...? It still can't be that high.
Is this retard seriously citing those self-report studies again, where the accuracy is defined by it's adherence to correctly self-reporting, and surprise, most people who claim they didn't do cocaine (but did) were tested positive? Is he retarded?

Even if he did have come up with a number that made sense, the rate of a false negative is irrelevant conditional on a positive test, and from what I remember looking up a couple months ago, even in the self-report studies the tests have much higher specificity than sensitivity, the paper I read had over 90% specificity

Nick really ought to have figured that out with his "40 fucking scientific papers" read.

Let's be honest, the county is probably used to crackheads spending 20 minutes on Google and coming up with garbled pseudoscientific nonsense.

Check out the top Google search suggestion.

 

[Swole McPole]

Nick, despite doing so much research and reading 40 papers, can't pronounce any of the substances

Rekieta, N., Rekieta, K. Anderson, A. (2024) Crack cocaine as an adjunct to methylphenidate in the treatment of juvenile Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder: An informal clinical trial. American Journal of Crackhead Studies, Spicer, Minnesota.

 

[LiquidKid]

People bitching about their fave cow not winning last year are basically absolutely retarded. Name another cow who in a single year managed shit like getting catfished by a dude, getting his house raided by the cops and copping multiple felony charges, having his kids taken away by CPS despite having presented himself as a wholesome family trad dad (even having streams called "chad dad" streams), and losing on every imaginable human level.

This dude is basically Supercow. Maybe the Vitophile should do a comic about him, the most degenerate superhero.

Bossman’s saga last year was certainly a ride,
And Riley’s saga this year has been more notable than most, but I agree with you, Patrick didn’t have nearly as interesting of a year as Nick did last year

 

[Mister Friendly Dude]

While we're at it, here's a study that shows any competent lab's procedure can correctly rule out external contamination of cocaine.
https://academic.oup.com/jat/article/43/7/543/5423761?login=false https://doi.org/10.1093/jat/bkz022
Unlike other ones, this study is really technical. Basically they got volunteers and contaminated their hair with cocaine samples, and then compared it to volunteers that are known, self-reported users of the drugs. They found reliable ways to discriminate between user and contaminated hair. The contaminant was applied days before evaluation. Maybe a raccoon snuck into Balldo's coomden to rub cocaine into his daughter's hair several days prior to their arrest.

I want to add to this in very simple terms so that Balldoman can't trick people: These tests are for METABOLITES, which means that the body modified the cocaine molecule. So unless Nick pissed on her daughter's hair, there is no way to find those metabolites from the air.

Now, in "fairness" to Nick, a simple search gave me this

"In order to confirm environmental contamination, the player’s lawyer requested a hair test of the player’s aunt, with whom he stayed regularly throughout the months before the competition and where she was living with a regular cocaine consumer, except for the last 6 months. The cocaine addiction was unbeknown to the player. The hair of the aunt was collected ~3 months after the athlete’s hair. The head hair was >30 cm in length and light brown to blond in color. Evidence of recent cosmetic treatment (highlights) was noticed. Her hair test revealed an identical profile of concentrations, also in agreement with external contamination, despite recent cosmetic treatment, which is known to produce a large decrease in drug concentrations, due to loss of binding during the chemical process.

Hair testing can significantly contribute to exculpation of athletes by demonstrating alternative administration pathways with contamination risks. It was admitted that the player was not a cocaine abuser nor a social user (based on the measured concentrations) and that the hair tests are more likely to indicate that he was in contact with an environment where cocaine is being used (based on the specific cocaine pattern, with regular increasing concentrations from root to tip). The International Tennis Federation accepted this explanation and the player returned with no fault."

Source: https://academic.oup.com/jat/article/44/9/e4/5851809

The fun part? the test results were way below 500 pg/mg. The Balldoman spawn hair test was 5000 pg/mg.

So, using Nick's new favorite word, Myopia, my guess is that he was looking for studies that refuted the follicle test with false negatives/positives, but I can bet you that most of those faulty tests are way below the 500 pg/mg cutout (which exists for a reason)