Tabletop Roleplaying Games (D&D, Pathfinder, CoC, ETC.)

[EleventySeven]

Any fun pathfinder feats for being a fat piece of shit?

Right now I got monkey style so I can lay down while I fight and stick together so I can yell at my mount to carry me faster, but I feel like I'm not a fat enough piece of shit.

Bloatmage initiate makes you a fat piece of shit that lowers your speed. If you take the Bloatmage prestige class properly, you go full landwhale.

 

[Ghostse]

Any fun pathfinder feats for being a fat piece of shit?

Right now I got monkey style so I can lay down while I fight and stick together so I can yell at my mount to carry me faster, but I feel like I'm not a fat enough piece of shit.

Take handle animal.
Make your mom your mount.

 

[Joshua Connor Tomar]

Take handle animal.
Make your mom your mount.

I am going mammoth rider.

Bloatmage initiate makes you a fat piece of shit that lowers your speed. If you take the Bloatmage prestige class properly, you go full landwhale.

Its a little too large of an investment for a 2/3rds caster who is mostly melee. I do want to play a bloat mage one day though

 

[Meat Target]

I put thinly veiled lolcows into my games all the time.

Super late responding on this, but now that I'm getting experience DM'ing, I'm doing this, too.

My first was a Bloodborne-themed Blades in the Dark campaign. The party found Terry Davis in an asylum who warned them that Frederick Brennan (as the mad scientist "Dr. Fetus Deletus") was kidnapping children and harvesting them for adrenochrome. The party, after defeating Hotwheels, used the adrenochrome for themselves.

Later, in a random encounter, Patrick Tomlinson impotently griped and threw a fit at the party over the city's werewolf infestation (they tied him to a lamp post and left him to get eaten).

In my next one, Acerthorn will be the Chaos daemon BBEG.

 

[Quintus]

Super late responding on this, but now that I'm getting experience DM'ing, I'm doing this, too.

My first was a Bloodborne-themed Blades in the Dark campaign. The party found Terry Davis in an asylum who warned them that Frederick Brennan (as the mad scientist "Dr. Fetus Deletus") was kidnapping children and harvesting them for adrenochrome. The party, after defeating Hotwheels, used the adrenochrome for themselves.

Later, in a random encounter, Patrick Tomlinson impotently griped and threw a fit at the party over the city's werewolf infestation (they tied him to a lamp post and left him to get eaten).

In my next one, Acerthorn will be the Chaos daemon BBEG.

Huh, for some reason I never considered using blades in the dark for a bloodborne style game. Might have to pitch that when dark sun wraps up.

 

[BlankSpaceBaby]

I am going mammoth rider.


Its a little too large of an investment for a 2/3rds caster who is mostly melee. I do want to play a bloat mage one day though

Mammoth rider cripples you when you have to enter the inevitable ruin, temple, underdark, dungeon, etc though, because your best stuff is tied to poor Fifi you have to leave outside... or is your plan all along to troll your party by being a barely-a-class in this situation? That will work if that's the case!

I always like the Noble Scion prestige class as the ultimate troll/sikes on any GM not aware of the shit it can do. You can practically buy your way through social situations or use your fame to wiggle out of sticky social situations, therefore trivializing encounters that your GM has worked to set up. Oh, your team needs magic weapons? Let's see what your weekly stipend and free money can get you. Your team need to finagle an invitation to the Royal Court? You're a famous aristocrat, so what's the problem? Unless you are in some Pathfinder-version of New York, your weekly stipend of 150 gold plus 10 extra gold per class level should cover easily most of lodging, spellcasting, appraisal, bribe, etc needs.

You get Greater Leadership feat early, and lets you play a more martial/magical character that is just level below yours, so it's not like you are forced to sit out of fights. A GM will have to impose a lot of restrictions for your Jabba the Hut-style Noble Scion or have you potentially turn a well-planned campaign into a Sugar Daddy simulation.

 

[Sargon's wife's son]

D&D ultimate magus it allows you to burn spell slots to add any metamagic feat that you know to any other magical spell.
Step one take human take energy substitution take energy admixture
take maximize spell take quicken spell take dual spell take repeating spell
take energy admixture two more times and energy substitution two more times.
You can now do 940 damage for fireball
personally I've gotten up to doing 3300 damage also in the next round everything repeats due to repeating spell so next round you do 6600 damage
you can also really abuse this and just spam some in black blades of disaster if the enemy is immune to elemental effects

 

[EleventySeven]

I am going mammoth rider.


Its a little too large of an investment for a 2/3rds caster who is mostly melee. I do want to play a bloat mage one day though

I have figured out something better than the mammoth for true fat fuckery. Magic Trick Floating disk. With three ranks in fly, you can ride the floating disk. And the more ranks in fly you get up to six, the better it gets. It's just a genuinely good and fun feat even if you're not going for the fat fuck archetype. Plus, it solves the dungeon/inside issue since the disk is typically only three feet across.

 

[anti SJW]

 

[FatR]

D&D ultimate magus it allows you to burn spell slots to add any metamagic feat that you know to any other magical spell.
Step one take human take energy substitution take energy admixture
take maximize spell take quicken spell take dual spell take repeating spell
take energy admixture two more times and energy substitution two more times.
You can now do 940 damage for fireball
personally I've gotten up to doing 3300 damage also in the next round everything repeats due to repeating spell so next round you do 6600 damage
you can also really abuse this and just spam some in black blades of disaster if the enemy is immune to elemental effects

Ragna Blade Black Blade of Disaster still allows Spell Resistance, never mind being a 9th level spell, thus coming online at the time when you've probably already won DnD forever in 3.X. IIRC, Orb of Fire/Acid/Whatever were go-to spells for metamagic maximization. No save (thus no possibility of getting cucked by Improved Evasion), no SR, just a touch attack in the system where touch attacks hit 90% of mid-CR and above enemies 95% of the time.

 

[Sargon's wife's son]

Ragna Blade Black Blade of Disaster still allows Spell Resistance, never mind being a 9th level spell, thus coming online at the time when you've probably already won DnD forever in 3.X. IIRC, Orb of Fire/Acid/Whatever were go-to spells for metamagic maximization. No save (thus no possibility of getting cucked by Improved Evasion), no SR, just a touch attack in the system where touch attacks hit 90% of mid-CR and above enemies 95% of the time.

It doesn't matter how many saving throws someone gets you negate this with massive amounts of buffs to yourself when you have ultimate magus you're so many spell slots you can just dedicate a good bit of them to also buff
practice spellcaster
an adaptable spellcaster also good feats to have.
Basically when you can summon 9 black blades of disaster around it tends to just spam the enemies until they're dead

 

[Joshua Connor Tomar]

Mammoth rider cripples you when you have to enter the inevitable ruin, temple, underdark, dungeon, etc though, because your best stuff is tied to poor Fifi you have to leave outside... or is your plan all along to troll your party by being a barely-a-class in this situation? That will work if that's the case!

I always like the Noble Scion prestige class as the ultimate l

We are pretty high level and have solved money issues. I'm just taking 1 level for big bear to pull me while I righteous mighted (though I do admit I'm missing that spell this level because of Mammoth rider). There are a few ways to get your mount in places it's not supposed to go with animal feats and what not. Unfortunately animal growth isn't on the war priest spell list.

I have figured out something better than the mammoth for true fat fuckery. Magic Trick Floating disk. With three ranks in fly, you can ride the floating disk. And the more ranks in fly you get up to six, the better it gets. It's just a genuinely good and fun feat even if you're not going for the fat fuck archetype. Plus, it solves the dungeon/inside issue since the disk is typically only three feet across.

That is tempting but I'm hoping to negotiate out a magical chariot from my dm that gets fly when my bear gets fly and straps to keep me attached while it flys. I don't remember and am too lazy to look if in my original post but the origins of being fat and laying down is a Combo of monkey style from style shifter and guided hand. That way ac attack and damage rolls are wisdom based as long as I'm laying on my ass.

 

[Ghostse]

I have figured out something better than the mammoth for true fat fuckery. Magic Trick Floating disk. With three ranks in fly, you can ride the floating disk. And the more ranks in fly you get up to six, the better it gets. It's just a genuinely good and fun feat even if you're not going for the fat fuck archetype. Plus, it solves the dungeon/inside issue since the disk is typically only three feet across.

Make your character arab.
Put a carpet over the disk.

 

[Alabama Gamer]

I've come to the realization that half of good improv in a sandbox game is having players you can play off of well. Example: My Rogue Trader players are on a Feudal World going through its Renaissance, and they've decided to secure some profits by leveraging influence with the king to support the aristocracy against the burghers. In passing, I mention that an NPC has purple eyes. For those not familiar with the setting, purple eyes are a sign that someone's ancestors were from Cadia, a Fortress World that has as its sole aim defending against the seeping asshole of Hell, a task which mutates them subtly. (For those who are familiar with the setting, we're a few hundred years before the 13th Black Crusade, so Cadia still exists.) I don't intend anything by it, but my players pick up on it and start to question why a Cadian regiment was ever on this planet. So I start to think, well, there must have been a rebellion in the past that was put down by the Imperial Guard, and this guy's great-great-grandfather was a Cadian who was part of the occupation. My players find this out and spend 15 minutes researching the deep history of this planet to find something that will give them basically a casus belli against one of the major planetary institutions. All of that came from a single offhand idea I had 30 seconds before they met the NPC in question.

 

[LovisXVI]

I've come to the realization that half of good improv in a sandbox game is having players you can play off of well.

The best moments are where your players come up with some insane theory as to what is happening and it is way better than whatever you had intended so you just go "uh yeah" and just run with it.

 

[What'sThePoint?]

Kiwifarms takes another; Vengar Satanis is leaving OSR.
Archived Text
All this is to say that I'm shutting down Kort'thalis Publishing. I'll still be in the hobby, just not the industry, and I don't even know what to say about the "community."

 

[Ghostse]

Kiwifarms takes another; Vengar Satanis is leaving OSR>
Archived Text
All this is to say that I'm shutting down Kort'thalis Publishing. I'll still be in the hobby, just not the industry, and I don't even know what to say about the "community."

You have fucked up your link son

 

[What'sThePoint?]

You have fucked up your link son

Should be fixed.

 

[Cnidarian]

Found this free RPG about playing as a LOLcow.

 

[The Rockafire Explosion]

I'm not at all surprised that a random e-celeb touted as an authority or a figurehead for modern D&D knows fuck all about it. I'd bet she'd struggle to explain who Gygax or Arneson were

Of course she could. They're the evil sexist/racist/fascist/colonizer/transphobes.

I comitted to a 3-20 campaign DMing for my friends using Pathfinder 2e. I had no idea it was so full of, and made by, retards. At least we have fun, but I’m looking forward to switching to a less gay system. Maybe GURPS, although nobody seems to play it anymore.

Just run it in PF1e and see if they notice. You can also try older editions. Unless everyone is already familiar with GURPS I'd steer pretty clear. Unless you want a more gay system, in which case you should look up GURPS Man to Man Combat, along with the first few Manowar albums.

Super late responding on this, but now that I'm getting experience DM'ing, I'm doing this, too.

My first was a Bloodborne-themed Blades in the Dark campaign. The party found Terry Davis in an asylum who warned them that Frederick Brennan (as the mad scientist "Dr. Fetus Deletus") was kidnapping children and harvesting them for adrenochrome. The party, after defeating Hotwheels, used the adrenochrome for themselves.

Later, in a random encounter, Patrick Tomlinson impotently griped and threw a fit at the party over the city's werewolf infestation (they tied him to a lamp post and left him to get eaten).

In my next one, Acerthorn will be the Chaos daemon BBEG.

I think I mentioned it here or maybe the genesis of the idea came from someone else's post, but a few years back I ran a short Ravenloft game where the party had to deal with a failed theater critic named Roberto who was convinced he should be the director of amazing plays, except the only thing he cheered for was utterly lowbrow crap and his scripts were even worse allegories for the gruesome ways he'd torture his political enemies. I forget what I made his weakness, but it was probably something as simple as calling him out on his bullshit (or maybe oranges and mayonnaise covered ghouls, but no one else would have gotten that joke). Next I wanted to make DSP a lazy half orc monk beggar, or maybe Jake Alley a paranoid delusional gnome with gigantism, but the game never got much further than that.