2024-08-25 - Alyssa Mercante: "Your Client’s Threat to Tortiously Invade Alyssa Mercante’s Privacy"

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Her lawyer being a KF user and giving her a deep mindfuck by saying "Ms. Mercante, I see that this horrible website has a thread about you. Perhaps you should pay me to do something about it." would be hilariously devilish trolling.
As amusing as that would be, it would be highly unethical on the part of the lawyer and grounds for discipline.
Most unbefitting a Super Lawyer.
Super Lawyer is one of those designations you pay for.
 
I can't believe an actual lawyer wrote this.
"Mr. Moon is not currently in our crosshairs"
"It is rare for someone to have such control over their own fate."
Lane A. Haygood is not only a shyster, but those quotes are objective proof that he is also a fucking dweeb.
Also, could someone explain to me why he cites laws from three different states, then a federal statute?
Where exactly is he planning on suing the forum?
He should be directed to the response in the highly precedential case of Arkell v. Pressdram.
 
Here’s my take on this:

She’s grifting her simps for legal money. She’s been threatening to sue smashjt, vara dark, and now Josh moon and the farms. I think this is a red herring. She is trying to grift her simps for attorney fees, but it’s because she is getting sued by Game Science, the makers of Black Myth Wukong, for libel.
 
What kind of smug anime villain cuntishness is this? Who do this simpering little worm and his dominatrix think they are? Acerthorn has written more professional legal briefs than this, and he's a spastic wereturkey.
It's so close to a line out of Fallout 4 that I'm pretty sure Bethesda should be suing him.
 
Laughing at all of her simps in the replies celebrating like this is some slam dunk open and shut case. The threat spells the Kiwi Farms and doxing wrong for gods sake.
Maybe if they send her enough grift bucks, she'll sleep with them. The plan is brilliant dude!
 
It's really funny seeing how rent-free Alyssa's detractors live in her head. Prospering Grounds is a subforum you NEED an account to access, and Alyssa got her thread while this site was search-suppressed. Not only did Alyssa explicitly search for herself on this site, she also has an account somewhere to monitor the mean things people are saying about her.

It's fucking pathetic, especially when you pair that with the "totally-not-mad, I'm touching grass and getting swole!" gym pic posts she makes whenever she's under fire for saying stupid bullshit. :story: :story: :story:
 
Speaking of, searching for people-of-interest's relatives and sending them harassing messages is A-OKAY by Alyssa Mercante's standards.
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Of course, doing so on Kiwi Farms is considered harassment ("touching the p00p" in communityspeak), is bannable and Null will send your info to the nearest authorities upon request if necessary.

Remember, copy-pasting from Yellowpages/Whitepages bad, actively messaging and dragging unrelated parties' into dumb twitter spats good!
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I never knew opening a phone book was illegal but actively harassing someone wasn't. Thanks for informing me Alyssa! What a crock of shit.
 
Absolutely insufferable. Whatever they think is going to happen to Alyssa for being doxxed, there's a chance she probably deserves it.
 
Wow Lane sure knows how to write an ominous sounding email. "It is rare for someone to have such control over their own fate."
My HOA's pet attorney (they threaten to sue me over dumb shit at least once a year; I don't even bother my lawyer with their shit anymore) always loves to close his threatening letters with "Govern yourself accordingly." I don't even bother acknowledging or addressing it whenever I write back telling him (politely) to fuck off.

This shit's practically boilerplate. They thought of it once, thought it sounded epic, and just include it every time now.
 
As someone who donated a small-but-not-insignificant amount to the KF legal fund, I really hope she follows through. Especially since the threat itself states outright that hosting the dox is not illegal.

If she follows through with her threats, Null should do another round of funding. I'd gladly add more, and I'm sure plenty of people who don't even use KF would get on board just to stick it to this buffoon.
 
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