🐷 Ethan Ralph's Twitter / Tweets - A collection of thoughts, insights and musings from the internet's favorite gunted hobbit

[DSP for president 2032]

In the xanny haze coming out of the strip club, he was slur-typing that somebody was trying to grab his bag, cigarette and swing at him through the Uber window.

At least that's how I interpreted it. The two events are not unrelated.

I'm glad the people in this thread were able to decode the Rage-Piglatin. I thought it said "oink oink oink I'm a rapist."

He would have taken a selfie of himself next to the wrecked car pointing to it. And how do you lose you phone in a wreck thats not bad enough to put you in a hospital?

To be fair to the rapist pigmonster: take a selfie with what phone? But yeah, it makes zero sense. What, did the phone snap in half and shield his hip from being broken by the incoming car?

Also, him saying a broken hip would be 'game over' is hilarious. What are you, 90 years old?

I've got to give Ethan Ralph a lot of credit because he has completely changed by opinion of the border areas of Mexico.

Apparently they are so safe, you can be utterly blitzed, not speak the language, and not even have travel documents, and you won't die.

I heard that the border areas are actually very nice and safe, lots of conservatives and low crime. Don't take my word for it, though. Hang on to those travel documents!

live alone in a shack and make as much as a garbage man

Don't garbagemen make quite a bit? I bet even the worst paid ones could buy multiple Ralphs.

 

[metroid_fetish_ii]

Ralph drinking piss is just his way of giving back to the planet that has given him a lifetime of five star days. He's recycling and obviously a better person than everyone else because of it.

 

[UCantCCPMe]

In case anyone needs a refresher (credit to @Blue Miaplacidus for the clip):

View attachment 6356225

So Ralph spent 20 years gooning and according to him "learning how to please a woman", then the last 9 years disappointing every woman he's ever had. That is some Reddit tier shit there Ralphy.

 

[Null]

When is he going live for the goobertygate stream?

 

[BlueArmedDevil]

When is he going live for the goobertygate stream?

8pm est

Although if you look at Milo's Twitter he's made zero mention of being on the stream tonight

 

[Capt. Jean Luc Ritard]

So Ralph spent 20 years gooning and according to him "learning how to please a woman", then the last 9 years disappointing every woman he's ever had. That is some Reddit tier shit there Ralphy.

um no ackshually Meigh said it was the best sex she ever had when he had his arm around her throat and was in a drunken rage stupor. So you know it's truuu.

 

[Elmo]

um no ackshually Meigh said it was the best sex she ever had when he had his arm around her throat and was in a drunken rage stupor. So you know it's truuu.

Don't forget that according to Ralph, Meigh thought it was hot when the pigman waxed his carrot in Ali Jamal's house and sent the footage to her.

 

[parsnip]

PSA: Some women don't get off from penetration alone and need clitoral stimulation with penetration.

I don't like agreeing with lolcows, but I dislike the thought of my kiwi brothers having bad sex information even more.

 

[Don'tAnalizeMeBro!]

I would watch a television show of him travelling. Bear Grylls has nothing on him.

I envision SMP doing a travel show more in the vein of Rick Steves. Except more angry, more yelling, more drunk, and more getting beat TF up when he talks smack or tries to get laid.

 

[Chimplord1997]

Not that anyone should be surprised since we've watched him eat shit, but Ralph has admitted he also drinks period blood while hitting on Elaine. Null, you finna let Ralph steal your wumanz?
View attachment 6355232
X | Archive

I fully support Ethan Ralph and Elaine Miller getting married. They're like the ideal couple.

 

[Elmo]

I fully support Ethan Ralph and Elaine Miller getting married. They're like the ideal couple.

Elaine Guntler-Miller is in her future, she just hasn't accepted it yet.

 

[Chimplord1997]

Elaine Guntler-Miller is in her future, she just hasn't accepted it yet.

This is gonna be Ralph's future if he fucks any more BPD pedophile egirls

 

[AncientPhosphur]

Don't forget that according to Ralph, Meigh thought it was hot when the pigman waxed his carrot in Ali Jamal's house and sent the footage to her.

Ah thanks for the imagery. I guess this 24 hour fast can continue to dinner as I seem to have lost my appetite.

 

[Um...]

Don't forget that according to Ralph, Meigh thought it was hot when the pigman waxed his carrot in Ali Jamal's house and sent the footage to her.

I bet he has to search around to find that poor shriveled-up little thing hiding under the gunt flaps.

 

[RollingRock2]

So it took Ralph 10 or 11 days to make the round trip to Rekieta's hearing and he managed to lose his phone, lose money, pussy out of a fight, and dox nobody.

 

[Lazy guy]

Do we have proof of life for the cats yet?

 

[One Winged Pear Farmer]

So it took Ralph 10 or 11 days to make the round trip to Rekieta's hearing and he managed to lose his phone, lose money, pussy out of a fight, and dox nobody.

Dox a witness in Rekietas case. Get it right bish u just jealous o dem five stah daze

 

[Capt. Jean Luc Ritard]

So it took Ralph 10 or 11 days to make the round trip to Rekieta's hearing and he managed to lose his phone, lose money, pussy out of a fight, and dox nobody.

yeah but he got to be near Nick's wife for a minute so it was all worth it

 

[Dixieland Buckaroo]

yeah but he got to be near Nick's wife for a minute so it was all worth it

Presumably Ralph also got one good square meal at the restaurant in Willmar (Grizzlie's) they were photographed outside of. So that's one more solid meal than Ralph usually gets in a week.

 

[GettrGriftr]

So it took Ralph 10 or 11 days to make the round trip to Rekieta's hearing and he managed to lose his phone, lose money, pussy out of a fight, and dox nobody.

Don't forget failing to show up at a certain Irish hat salesman's house.