Fictional Characters who would deserve their own threads? - Just like the other thread.

[bluegenius8585]

Mark Corrigan from Peep Show

Pseudo intellectual who is co-dependent with a professional drifter. Sees every woman who crossses his path as the "one" even when they are completely incompatible. Manipulative and creepy towards said women. Has some nonce tendencies. Think he is far better than he is including producing terrible self published books about Pharaohs and Business

Also Jeremy Usbourne from Peep Show

Professional drifter and sex pest. Produces cringe content, including terrible music. Easily manipulated into doing downright retarded things. Depends on Mark to not end up as some homeless freak.

 

[winderson_silva]

The Postal Dude
-Marries a fat fuck, obeys her for years for a reason
-Blood is 99% crack
-Breaks into people's homes to get more crack
-Somehow too lazy to be a game dev
-Nuked the city for no reason
-Drives a scooter in 2024

Pretty much the entire Institute from Fallout 4, but specially the Father

-shit leader
-his guns and robots are worse than any pre war weapon
-best achievement is a nuclear reactor (300 year old tech)
-no plan at all
-makes super mutants despite knowing well FEV creates retards 99% of time
-cancel the cyborg department despite being clear they are superior to any FEV treatment
-will be destroyed by canon (I see your game, Todd)

And since I played a gacha for the glory of the CCP
William from Girls Frontline
-siscon
-makes his mom into a slave cyborg, his dad is free and fine regardless
-makes experiments in kids, makes zombies for no reason
-2 groups of glowies are fighting for him, instead of just doing what the illuminati wants he hides in a radioactive wastedland
-lets himself be arrested because the illuminati wont let the commander cap his dome

 

[JesusChristDenton]

-no plan at all

Don't forget how what little planning he does have is nothing but "you wouldn't understand" and "dude just trust me".

 

[Gravemind]

Let's be honest, Blue Archive has enough characters that at least a few students would be lolcows and a few would be users, while a few would be both.

I am greatly surprised no one put forth Misono Mika as prime, grade A lolcow material and I'm tempted to put together a list of her tomfoolery to elucidate this point.

Meanwhile, Urawa Hanako would most likely be a Kiwi MVP that could probably dox 90% of the userbase if she felt inclined to. Definitely a huge contributor to the "Easy to Track Username Hall of Shame" thread.

 

[Gravemind]

I am greatly surprised no one put forth Misono Mika as prime, grade A lolcow material and I'm tempted to put together a list of her tomfoolery to elucidate this point.

Alright, because I'm bored enough and I can no longer edit the original post, let's do this.

Spoiler: Story spoilers under the cut (it's actually a good-ass story even if I'm about to bastardize some bits of it)

Misono "Kill All Gehennoids" Mika — Kivotos' funniest, racist, war criminal (it was just a joke bro I swear)​

-One of the three political leaders of one of the biggest schools in Kivotos (Trinity)
-So obnoxiously boisterous that her childhood friend (also one of the three leaders – Nagisa) is embarrassed to have her around, and the other leader (Seia) basically tells her off for being so obnoxiously retarded
-Gets so butthurt over being told off that she decides to "play a prank" on Seia by nearly getting her killed by terrorists via bombing, attempts to kidnap Nagisa (the terrorists were going to kill her too despite what Mika wanted), and ultimately sabotage a peace treaty Trinity was gearing up to sign with its rival school (Gehenna) because she really fucking hates Gehenna
-All of this leads to a really convoluted plan that she eventually reveals herself to be the mastermind of, which gets thwarted
-All of this still leads to a terrorist attack during the day of the treaty signing that nearly results in all-out war + the summoning of a bunch of ghost nuns to attack both Trinity and Gehenna (there's a lot of other plot-relevant things going on in the background and it would make this summary significantly longer if I were to get into it)
-This also leads to us getting shot and nearly fucking dying (it's okay, we get better)
-This also leads to most of Trinity declaring her a witch, raiding her room, and trashing and torching almost all of her personal belongings while she's being held in custody
-This leads into Mika suffering a full on mental break, blaming the leader of Arius Squad (Saori) for all of her problems, and going on a retard gorilla strength rampage (no, really, she easily breaks the bars of her holding cell and smashes through several solid walls – something which most other students can't do – while also single-handedly tearing through multiple well-armed groups) to hunt her down and kill her (she ultimately spares Saori after beating her nearly to death and then has a slight "redemption" arc)
-On top of all of this, all of her actions essentially result in a reality-destroying eldritch entity "perceiving" our universe and nearly destroying Kivotos in a massive "doomsday" situation a bit later on
-Despite the severity of her wrongdoings, she basically gets a slap on the wrist, reduced political privileges, put on official probation, and has to spend the rest of her days living like an average student
-As far as we know, even if she is currently making up for her wrongdoings, she still really fucking hates Gehenna and should probably be kept away from Gehenna at all costs
-Still acts like a spoiled, obnoxious princess despite all of this


She can't keep getting away with it.

 

[Cemetery Support]

The Grinch

 

[Town Drunk]

-will be destroyed by canon (I see your game, Todd)

Same game where you upload the brain of a robot into a synth. Why didn't he just do that? Don't tell me the institute lacked the technology to transfer human memories, because they literally engineered synth brains, and you do it on old world tech IIRC.

 

[Toji Suzuhara]

(Horrorcow) Askeladd/ Lucius Artorius Castus from Vinland Saga
Early life
-Bastard son of a wealthy danish viking and a welsh princess-turned-concubine of said viking
-Grew up without a father up until the age of ten, living in the stables of the same village where his father lived, alongside his mother
-His mother eventually loses her mind and starts to allucinate about the return of King Arthur, confusing Askeladd's father for him
-His father tries to kill his mother, which he tries to prevent by fighting him using a sword
-After losing the battle, his father is able to see his swordmanship skills and recognizes him as his son and invites him to live with him at his mansion, to which he reluctantly agrees
-After two years of living in his father's house, he kills him using a sword that belonged to one of his half-brothers, framing him in the process and causing him to be executed, this way securing part of his father's inheritance
-He uses the money to bring his mother back to Wales, where she dies soon after
Mercenary years
-After returning to Denmark, he becomes the leader of a mercenary band that raids the coasts of England
-Two decades after turning into a mercenary, he is hired by a group of vikings with the objective of killing one of their ex-members who deserted, thing which he accomplises by ambushing in a fjord and capturing the viking's young son, which he kidnaps and uses for his raids as an spy/informant/assassin
-The kid tries to kill him in battle multiple times, but he's able to defeat him in very ocassion
The Danish Invasion
-After another decade passes, and following a full-scale assault by the viking forces with the goal of conquering England, he and his band are hired by the king of Denmark as an auxiliary force
-After unsuccessfully sieging London, he and his forces are forced to scape, but manage to capture one of the danish king's sons, which he plans to ransom the king for
-On his way to York, the viking capital in England, he passes throught Wales, where it is revealed that he fully believes in Arthur's legend as well
-Shortly after leaving Wales and facing a harsh winter, he and his band massacre an small village after stealing their food
-Due to his poor leadership, a large part of his forces rebel, resulting in him killing almost the entirety of his own troops
Arriving in York
-After many weeks of travel, he and the remains of his band arrive in York, where they discover that the king is planning on killing the prince due to pressure from the nobles
-He and the kid he kidnapped fight one last time, and, after winning, he chastizes the kid by saying that he will never be able to kill him if he lets his hatred for him dominate his every move during battle
-Afterwards, he foils an assassination attempt aganist the prince and manages to secure an audience with the danish king
Death
-During the audience, the king reveals his intentions to invade Wales once he is done with England, with Askeladd visibly showing concern at the very mention of it, which one of the king's advisors present quickly notices
-The prince starts planning how to kill the king with the help of Askeladd and his band, so that he can inherit the throne
-The king approaches Askeladd the next day in another audience, where he offers him the choice of either saving the prince or saving Wales
-After hearing this, he starts acting erratically, threatening to kill the king and drawing his sword, thing which he does after the king insults his mother
-He then declares himself King Arthur reborn, and starts fighting the king's guard
-Seeing himself out of options, he allows himself to be killed by the prince, so that the nobles don't suspect of his involvement in the king's assassination

 

[Kat Kommander]

Just finished Mouthwashing and I think that Jimmy (the protagonist) truly deserves a horrorcow status.

 

[Kid Named Rocket]

Just finished Mouthwashing and I think that Jimmy (the protagonist) truly deserves a horrorcow status.

Yeah, Jimmy would unironically be one of the most repulsive, genuinely hated motherfuckers ever documented on the site:

Spoiler: Mouthwashing spoilers

>acts like a friend to Curly, but immediately descends to deflecting & accusations whenever he hears something he doesn't like
>unhinged sociopath, projects his own self-centered nature onto everyone around hin
>rapes & impregnates Anya, refuses to TAKE RESPONSIBILITY
>this, combined with finding out that they're all getting fired after their final delivery is done, leads him to crash the Tulpar & frame Curly for it
>assumes role of captain and gets the whole crew killed through incompetence (Daisuke) or malice (Swansea)
>even at his darkest hour, refuses to TAKE RESPONSIBILITY for driving Anya to suicide
>force-feeds Curly pieces of his own leg & seals him in a cryopod to rot for 20 years in one last attempt to "fix everything"
>blows his own brains out to avoid TAKING RESPONSIBILITY

 

[BigKant]

Let's be honest, Blue Archive has enough characters that at least a few students would be lolcows and a few would be users, while a few would be both.

Sensei [Lolcow] - Definetly is. He is a degenerate freak and a predator. You know for a fact he is going to plead to get his thread removed. He gets laughed at and eventually threadbanned.

Aru [Tough Guy Wanna Be] - Not so much. She is too thin-skinned and naive "gun for hire". Not quite a retard but is getting there. Having an obsessed co-worker around who likes to plant C4 around like Ted K (and mutters to herself like a crazy person) to tardwrangle. Gets A-logged a lot I guess. Tries hard to damage control in the thread but fails.

I would say there is one from Nikke:

Dorothy/Doro (Goddess of Victory: Nikke) [Lolcow/Trainwreck] - An ex Goddess member that has been betrayed by the people she was fighting for. Pushed almost to the edge from the death of three member of her squad and then another one named Pinne later. Suffering from PTSD, depression and deep hatred towards humanity.
While understandable, her hatred and disdain has reached to a point where he would throw fellow Nikkes (read: Female Robocop/s) who are not part of "Eden" to the wolves. So much so that her allies are becoming disgusted with her.

-She would find her thread and just read it, eventually joining and arguing in a haughty tone.
-Some might feel bad for her (like you would feel bad for a war vet) but most would flip to disliking/hating her.
-Emotional rants and seething walls of text. Towards the Ark, Goverment, Ex-teammates/squadmates and users.
-Eventually she threatens the site owner including the site as a whole and vows to destroy it after a mental breakdown.
-She gets threadbanned then banned from the site. Thread gets locked till further notice. Terrrorcow tag gets added along with DNI.

 

[Gravemind]

Sensei [Lolcow] - Definetly is. He is a degenerate freak and a predator. You know for a fact he is going to plead to get his thread removed. He gets laughed at and eventually threadbanned.

Sensei would probably run gayops/DDOS attempts using his plot armor tablet and Arona, honestly. Probably get Veritas (Millennium's "elite hacker" club) to help with that.

Himari (the crippled wheelchair elf that caters to degenerate foot fetishism) would probably be a lolcow. Constantly touting about how she's a "super genius" and "beautiful hacker" with her totally made up "Omniscience" degree while she schizoposts about long-outdated occult information. Also known for frequently hacking Millennium's PA system to micspam her musical tastes. Would probably end up being a homegrown cow. Guaranteed PoI tag.

Spoiler: Image reference

 

[DickMain]

FFX Seymour. Weird sex pest, weird mommy stuff, weird dangerhair.

 

[Caligura]

The events of Virgin Extinction Island would make for a really kino Happening thread. Sadly, I think 2/3 of the forum would perish due to the virgin plague, yes even Dear Sneeder if he hasn't sired a Serbian hogwench yet.

It would first start off in the Japanese thread in Int. Clique, covering what happens in the first few chapters of the manga. Then would quickly become a massive happening once the virgin plague spreads outside of Japan and Trump going Total Virgin Death (TVD).

Schizo conspiracies abound but the Woman/Man Hate threads would avsolutely nuclear. Might even see a return to the Metokur coof streams but now for this. We might even see Null make the 'Two Kiwifarms User Marry' achievement a financial incentive to curb the virgin plague.

 

[Make America Dumb Again]

A well known character from Spec Ops: The Line

Martin Walker/Captain Walker - Absolute skitzo, bomber of 47 men, women, and children, destroyer of water supply, suffers from main character syndrome

He would definitely be a horrorcow

 

[Kung Pow Cream]

FFX Seymour. Weird sex pest, weird mommy stuff, weird dangerhair.

At that point, I think the summoners would have their own board. There would be a thread for each summoner group. We'd have bets on who would die. We'd try to guess how long it would take for each summoner to get an Aeon. Not to mention that Wakka posting would be similar to pat posting.

"Nooooo al bhed grease monkey! It is you who is causing Sin to exist! Enjoy your heresy!"

 

[JesusChristDenton]

I'd imagine that KF in the 2500's would probably dig up something on these guys:

 

[Sneed (formerly ﷽)]

 

[Tenshi Eating A Corn Dog!]

Not to mention that Wakka posting would be similar to pat posting.

Wakka Appreciation Thread. I get the feeling he'd show up as an A&N poster until after the events where he goes through the unracism process.

Thread tax: Patch the Good Luck / Patches the Hyena / Trusty Patches / Mild Mannered Pate (under debate if this is an alt) / Patches the Spider / Unbreakable Patches / Lapp / Patches the Untethered

Liar, murderer, fedora-tipping hater of clerics and kleptomaniac. Had a weird period of being a religious spider furry and an amnesia arc.

He'd probably join the forum where he'd become an actually really informative poster in other threads for characters like Yurt the Silent Chief and Lautrec of Carim. Pardoner Oswald would also be a really informative poster on some characters. Hard to say if Velka would post too, though she'd probably have some DM chain where she has others make threads and post about the guilty (read: lolcows) on her behalf.

 

[Neurotypical Mantis]

if laios from dungeon meshi had internet access he would go complete furry gooner.

picture the toaster fucker greentext x1000