Lolcow KingCobraJFS / Josh Saunders - Amateur musician, YouTube Streamer, wandmaker, and self-proclaimed "sexy goth badboy". Perpetually circling the drain.

[Bifocal Lens]

Cobes sounds super fucking wasted in this stream and randomly saying "fuck suicide". The intrusive thoughts and self esteem issues hit him hard yesterday.

Absolute nightmare fuel.

These streams are so fucking weird. I haven't been able to watch all of them yet because I can only stand Jessica's bullshit for like 30 minutes at a time. Listening to her makes me mentally distressed.

They are both wasted, rambling nonsensical shit at the stream or at the walls. They barely talk to each other, they just like to ramble and listen to themselves talk. It's so strange, they are talking all the time, but no one actually listens or cares about what the fuck the other is saying. When they do talk, it's always 50/50 whether the boy will try to make a joke or if he'll be defensive and not say anything. Jessica is just her usual peachy charming self as always. She always says "No one ever lets me finish". No bitch, you don't even let yourself finish. Your maw opens up to say retarded shit before you even finished the previous sentence. The fucking red light just adds more atmosphere to this unbearable fever dream. The boy really is in hell.

The mood is so fucking tense. Jessica is just always being annoying and confrontational. At this point, I'm not sure whether she knows the mood is tense and is using it as a manipulation tactic, or whether she just has zero fucking social skills and has no idea that Joshie can barely stand her. At one point, the boy says some shit and she doesn't hear it, so she asks "What did you say Joshie " and, after the boy told her "nothing" and she repeats the SAME FUCKING question like 4 times, the boy finally snaps and goes "No I'm not gonna say SHIT because if I say anything it's automatically taken as an attack". Obviously she didn't take the cue and KEPT fucking asking him. Josh was the bigger man and remained silent, he already knows that whatever answer he gives will just escalate the situation. Jessica can turn a simple word into a full-on sperg out at the drop of a hat. Bigger men have snapped at way less. I can't believe he only hit her once.

She is so fucking unbearable. God the more I listen to her, the more I hope the boy actually slapped the shit outta her. No one deserves the torment she dishes out.

 

[anliteralidiot]

She is so fucking unbearable. God the more I listen to her, the more I hope the boy actually slapped the shit outta her. No one deserves the torment she dishes out.

That's why we need to tar and feather that Chris guy.

 

[Ravier Xavenblood]

Hearing him hit himself is the worst part of all this. It used to be funny years ago when he'd make a silly mistake and beat himself up for it but in this context it's a whole lot worse.

That's why we need to tar and feather that Chris guy.

We need to lock him in a trailer with Jessica and livestream it Fishtank style.

 

[Orange Piccolo]

That's why we need to tar and feather that Chris guy.

Then fly Jessica out to HIS house with no return ticket.

Edit: ninja’d

 

[Teeter]

Hearing him hit himself is the worst part of all this. It used to be funny years ago when he'd make a silly mistake and beat himself up for it but in this context it's a whole lot worse.

I dunno, punching yourself in the face is the reaction most people have to being forced to listen to Bjork.

 

[anliteralidiot]

We need to lock him in a trailer with Jessica and livestream it Fishtank style.

I would pay to lock NAL and either Airsoft Fatty, Jimmy, or Frank Hassle in the room...

 

[Captain Howdy 666]

However I do worry about how the universe operates when it comes to shit like this.

Jessica is old, sick, and a substance abuser. If she gets pregnant then it's definitely not making it to term. However if it does.... Uh.... anyone seen the movie "The Suckling"?

Have you guys learned nothing from the Samantha Bushart thread?! THIS IS BASICALLY TELLING THE UNIVERSE TO MAKE IT HAPPEN!

 

[Ravier Xavenblood]

I would pay to lock NAL and either Airsoft Fatty, Jimmy, or Frank Hassle in the room...

I think Jimmy would actually fucking kill NAL. IIRC he spent much of his early life in and out of mental health facilities in his youth and has a lot of experience dealing with BPslores.

Frank Hassle VS NAL would be fucking legendary though.

 

[Hennimore]

Cobes sounds super fucking wasted in this stream and randomly saying "fuck suicide". The intrusive thoughts and self esteem issues hit him hard yesterday.

Absolute nightmare fuel.

Jessica: "Can you type this song into YouTube?"
*Josh types it in wrong*
Jessica: "You almost had it Josh, here let me type it in."
Josh: "Yeah you type it in because I'm fucking useless."

They then argue for a bit and it sounds like Josh is either hitting himself or hitting something around him while yelling "I DIDN'T SAY FUCKING ANYTHING".

Even if Jessica was perfectly behaved and sane it would still be impossible to have any sort of relationship with Josh. He flies off the handle over the most benign shit. In his defense he does sound wasted and on duster, based off how low his voice is, but I don't even know if baseline Josh would be easy to get along with these days.

 

[Jerome Saunders]

Periods don't mean shit.

It means she is ovulating, which is a worrying thought, to me at least. And yes, shes probably fucked her fertility up and Josh is probably shooting circle swimmers but life has a sick sense of humor and sometimes finds a way. I just can't conclude she is absolutely infertile just because she has a thyroid problem or whatever.

 

[Ravier Xavenblood]

Jessica: "Can you type this song into YouTube?"
*Josh types it in wrong*
Jessica: "You almost had it Josh, here let me type it in."
Josh: "Yeah you type it in because I'm fucking useless."

They then argue for a bit and it sounds like Josh is either hitting himself or hitting something around him while yelling "I DIDN'T SAY FUCKING ANYTHING".

Even if Jessica was perfectly behaved and sane it would still be impossible to have any sort of relationship with Josh. He flies off the handle over the most benign shit. In his defense he does sound wasted and on duster, based off how low his voice is, but I don't even know if baseline Josh would be easy to get along with these days.

He's only wasted because he has to be around Jessica. He'd self medicate less if he was with someone who wasn't batshit crazy.

 

[Paul Revere Pantry Raider]

He's only wasted because he has to be around Jessica. He'd self medicate less if he was with someone who wasn't batshit crazy.

Bullshit. He can't even be sober around himself. You can distract him for a while, but he's going to be as shitfaced as he can afford to be 24/7.

That said she certainly doesn't help him to drink less.

 

[Star Spangled Bogger]

New Walnut!

 

[anliteralidiot]

I think Jimmy would actually fucking kill NAL. IIRC he spent much of his early life in and out of mental health facilities in his youth and has a lot of experience dealing with BPslores.

Frank Hassle VS NAL would be fucking legendary though.

Jimmy is also a supreme yapper: he never shuts up. He would be the perfect foil to NAL, and he wouldn't accept her bullshit music. And he might kill her, but that's a Jimmy w.

I just can't conclude she is absolutely infertile just because she has a thyroid problem or whatever.

C'mon, you look at that goiter and tell me it's just a problem.

We've been calling it goity in her thread. Someone even made some art.

The thyroid controls hormones and shit, and if you're fucking with hormones, you're fucking with fertility

 

[Ravier Xavenblood]

Jimmy is also a supreme yapper: he never shuts up. He would be the perfect foil to NAL, and he wouldn't accept her bullshit music. And he might kill her, but that's a Jimmy w.

His rage just needs to be channeled towards the proper target.

 

[Slim Boglim]

Even if Jessica was perfectly behaved and sane it would still be impossible to have any sort of relationship with Josh. He flies off the handle over the most benign shit.

It’s really stressful listening to them both because they have no communication skills or empathy and the emotional maturity of toddlers.

Conversations with grown adults “I’m gonna cook these sausages” “oh, okay, here you can use this pan.” “Naw I prefer to use the other pan.” “Ok that’s fair but if you use this one there’s some grease leftover and it can add some flavor” “Yeah, I know, I still prefer to use this one.” “Okay, sure thing.” “Would you like a sausage?” “Yes please.”

Conversations with Joshie and Jessie
“Cookin sausage” “JAAAAAAWWWWSHIEEEEE USE THE OTHER PAN” “I’LL USE WHATEVER PAN I WANT” “REEEEEEEEEEEE WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS TO MEEEEEE?! “Jessica I just want to use the other pan.” “I DON’T FUCKING CARE WHAT PAN YOU UUUUSEEEE USE WHATEVER PAN YOU FUCKING WANT I DONT CARE HIW CAN YOU DO THIS TO ME?! WHAAAATTT DIIIDD I DOOOOOOOOOOOOO????!!!”

 

[Eyesore City]

Niggers here acting shocked a literal retard who lives in two constant states (drunk and lonely) would open his door to a banshee. Like wagging a finger at a street dog for eating garbage.

And don't put this on Clint. Josh is on the steep side of his 30s with a resume consisting of bomb ass drink combos and gender relashun rants. It would be better off discussing where Dahmer's mom went wrong at this point than how Clint can fix this.

 

[Tiggy Skibbles]

Jessica is old, sick, and a substance abuser. If she gets pregnant then it's definitely not making it to term. However if it does.... Uh.... anyone seen the movie "The Suckling"?

Ive seen The Baby, a potential future for Jason Voorhees Jr. What is The Suckling about?

 

[bookers]

Niggers here acting shocked a literal retard who lives in two constant states (drunk and lonely) would open his door to a banshee. Like wagging a finger at a street dog for eating garbage.

And don't put this on Clint. Josh is on the steep side of his 30s with a resume consisting of bomb ass drink combos and gender relashun rants. It would be better off discussing where Dahmer's mom went wrong at this point than how Clint can fix this.

I'm not surprised, I'm just disappointed.

But really it's not the door opening, it's the people that sent her there.
And then people that fuck with him and organize all this shit on discord or whatever.

Right now we can't say Josh is making bad decisions on his own, because he has all these people in his ear trying to architect these events.

 

[highly regarded 420]

Fuck it why don't we fly Larson, Wilkins, Jupiter, and Nova all to Casper too? Then we'll tell binda, porkney and messy Jessy there's an exclusive live event and they can all stream from the bog. When they all arrive, we'll have collected all the dragon balls and the boglim can summon Shenron and he can wish this all away.