Lolcow KingCobraJFS / Josh Saunders - Amateur musician, YouTube Streamer, wandmaker, and self-proclaimed "sexy goth badboy". Perpetually circling the drain.

[Halo Cipher]

she sees he has the shotgun and instead of intervening, she's pauses at this angle secretly hoping she would get to record his suicide. i feel sick.

This is an explicit example of why any human being should stay far away from stone cold narcissists. They want you to destroy yourself as proof for everyone they slander you to that they were right about how crazy you are. People like the bog witch have something dark and evil in them which can only be expressed with vengeful destruction.

Hope Cobes finds stoicism. It helps after recovering from being near flesh clothed black holes.

 

['Ole Dente]

I have thought long and hard and here are my picks for the Cobra Biopic.

Cobra: Danny De Vito or Jackie Chan
Warlord: Michael Cera or Steve Buchemi
Scrapper Steve: Peter Stormare
Scrapper Steve's wife: a pumpkin with a drawn of face, hollowed out, with burgers stuffed inside
Darf: John Candy or Jonah Hill
Stephanie: Lindsay Lohan
Clint: Ryan Renolds
Mr Green: Timothy Charomet
Arron: A piss soaked paper bag
Door Dashers: Nicolas Cage
Cool Taste: Benedict Cumenbach or whatever it's spelled
Schon: CGI Andy Serkis or live action Peter Dinklage with sharpie eyeliner
NAL: A real life warthog infected with aids and syphilis, who will be euthanised in the final scene.

I would watch it purely if John C. Riley was cast as Jessica. I would legitimately laugh for 6 straight hours and pay good money to see John C Riley in a wig, squatting over a cardboard box having a nice hard piss, screaming “WHAT DID I DOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO?!”

 

[Meat Streets]

I have thought long and hard and here are my picks for the Cobra Biopic.

Cobra: Danny De Vito or Jackie Chan
Warlord: Michael Cera or Steve Buchemi
Scrapper Steve: Peter Stormare
Scrapper Steve's wife: a pumpkin with a drawn of face, hollowed out, with burgers stuffed inside
Darf: John Candy or Jonah Hill
Stephanie: Lindsay Lohan
Clint: Ryan Renolds
Mr Green: Timothy Charomet
Arron: A piss soaked paper bag
Door Dashers: Nicolas Cage
Cool Taste: Benedict Cumenbach or whatever it's spelled
Schon: CGI Andy Serkis or live action Peter Dinklage with sharpie eyeliner
NAL: A real life warthog infected with aids and syphilis, who will be euthanised in the final scene.

Steve MF Buscemi as warlord has to happen in this timeline, or imma Casper myself.

Eta I remembered who tf Michael Cera is. lmfao, that's perfect as well. I'm conflicted now.

 

[Star Spangled Bogger]

I would watch it purely if John C. Riley was cast as Jessica. I would legitimately laugh for 6 straight hours and pay good money to see John C Riley in a wig, squatting over a cardboard box having a nice hard piss, screaming “WHAT DID I DOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO?!”

I laughed so hard at this my cat jumped off my desk. If AI is going to take over the world my sincere wish is that we can ask MovieGPT to make this happen. It would be a comedy drama with John C Riley at that point, which is a good thing as it would detract from the darkness of the content. Maybe then Will Ferrel would have to play Cobra?

 

[Meat Streets]

I laughed so hard at this my cat jumped off my desk. If AI is going to take over the world my sincere wish is that we can ask MovieGPT to make this happen. It would be a comedy drama with John C Riley at that point, which is a good thing as it would detract from the darkness of the content. Maybe then Will Ferrel would have to play Cobra?

If we are gonna get wild, why not cast Sigourney Weaver as Cobra? She kind of looks like him now, js.

And I'd like to nominate Charlize Theron as NAL. She pulled off Aileen Wournos pretty fucking well. Seems in her wheelhouse.

 

[Not a bee]

I may not know Joshua Saunders,
for I am but a mere bystander,
watching a man go through turmoil,
by a wicked woman who has him in her coil

I cannot be standby and watch him suffer,
for I will use my powers to make him tougher,
and rid of the evil woman forever,
so he can recover.

Begone Jessica!
Begone! Begone! Begone!
This is my will, so mote it be!

 

[Meat Streets]

@Star Spangled Bogger

Who plays KF? And should bossman Null be included? Shouldn't the script briefly honor the one moment in time when this degenerate website and its owner considered buying our BOY a clock tower trailer mansion?

 

[Star Spangled Bogger]

Who plays KF? And should bossman Null be included? Shouldn't the script briefly honor the one moment in time when this degenerate website and its owner considered buying our BOY a clock tower trailer mansion?

KF as a bystander should be played by a bail of wood chips.

 

[Meat Streets]

KF as a bystander should be played by a bail of wood chips.

That would work. The leftover woodchips from a wand. That's quite poetic.

 

[RollingRock2]

It took about 15 years of practicing black magic but cobes did indeed summon himself a demon

 

[Sicko Hunter]

 

[ForTheHoard]

In times like these, Cobes needs to ask himself, "What would Zakk Wylde do?"

 

[HiveDull]

Real tawk, toobz. I hope that Methica dies in an automobile wreck.
I just want to listen to Cobes rant about gendur relashuns, weed, and how much Ozzy rules without her nasty grips and ear-grating voice.

Also, shout to The King for posting a food review after being like $400 in the negative. Never change, Cobes.

 

[Xenomorph]

In times like these, Cobes needs to ask himself, "What would Zakk Wylde do?"

*Wade

 

[anliteralidiot]

Real tawk, toobz. I hope that Methica dies in an automobile wreck.

She can't drive...

 

[Spectral Fallout]

Toxic Love got stuck in my head so I gave it a remix.

Here's an MP3 version of the Toxic Love remix.

 

[Unfriendly Eurofag]

Here's an MP3 version of the Toxic Love remix.

THAT is awesome! If it was cyrax he would have already claimed that song as his new single and we would get an elaborate story how he spent the past 8 weeks in deep meditation until he came up with it.

She can't drive...

Why dont we play Chris and send her on uber rides all over the country? This would increase the chances of her dying in a automobile wreck a lot?!

 

[Ponzo]

Cobra drinking everclear does not surprise me

 

[n1663r]

Has anyone said Steve buscemi as cobes yet? That's my vote.

 

[3deadniggers]

View attachment 6396543this is the kind of reply that makes me want to A-log and touch poop

This gets ignored for 2 pages of meaningless spam..

Was there any follow ups saying 'yes you fucking did'?

This is an explicit example of why any human being should stay far away from stone cold narcissists. They want you to destroy yourself as proof for everyone they slander you to that they were right about how crazy you are. People like the bog witch have something dark and evil in them which can only be expressed with vengeful destruction.

Hope Cobes finds stoicism. It helps after recovering from being near flesh clothed black holes.

This is a very specific trait and it's something Josh should be aware of. Women push to see if things will break and if they break they're useless and discarded. It's an extreme shit test but it's like all the others. Josh should have known it and told her to kick rocks.

I just want to listen to Cobes rant about gendur relashuns, weed, and how much Ozzy rules without her nasty grips and ear-grating voice.

Cobra can't rant about gendur relashuns any more. He's gone from a gothic bad boy to a King cuck. Hamburger pussy and letting her drive you to suicide is not what gothic bad boys do.