Lolcow KingCobraJFS / Josh Saunders - Amateur musician, YouTube Streamer, wandmaker, and self-proclaimed "sexy goth badboy". Perpetually circling the drain.

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I am trying to catch up on Cobes lore via Saturated Content's excellent video series on the toobz and I think I joined the rabbit hole just in time before Cobes goes off the rails even more.

Didn't get to the witch yet though, I just finished the Puff Saga.
Saturated Content ain’t where it’s at, youtoob.

Check out thee GOAT, Bitesize Cobra Videos, for all your needs
 
I have thought long and hard and here are my picks for the Cobra Biopic.

Cobra: Danny De Vito or Jackie Chan
Warlord: Michael Cera or Steve Buchemi
Scrapper Steve: Peter Stormare
Scrapper Steve's wife: a pumpkin with a drawn of face, hollowed out, with burgers stuffed inside
Darf: John Candy or Jonah Hill
Stephanie: Lindsay Lohan
Clint: Ryan Renolds
Mr Green: Timothy Charomet
Arron: A piss soaked paper bag
Door Dashers: Nicolas Cage
Cool Taste: Benedict Cumenbach or whatever it's spelled
Schon: CGI Andy Serkis or live action Peter Dinklage with sharpie eyeliner
NAL: A real life warthog infected with aids and syphilis, who will be euthanised in the final scene.
A post-Reanimator Jeffrey Combs would've been a good pick to play Cobra . He would've knocked it out of the park.
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I just wanted to see Cobra make Bog Brew, not this
I bet you 30k the Bitch would have told him to fucking do it if she didn't think there would be legal consequences
Cobra is like one of those tribes in OogaBoogaland where if you introduce new things to them, it fucks up the whole ecosystem. The boy used to just make content about his life and it was 100x better than what everyone currently expects and wants, very minimal reaction videos and more “So I shit my pants today and hurt myself. Here’s how that worked out” but Darfliny just had to introduce Manosphere/Red Pill video shit to him. NaL introduced the muting, that grifter Chaz reinforced shutting off and blocking comments completely, Take care what you introduce to this boglodyte, things will never be the same for the worst.
 
If he had an IQ of 130 instead of 70 he would be a semi famous musician
All he needs is a greedy jewish agent, plenty of 70 IQ niggers managed to have rap careers.

If he had an IQ of 130 instead of (realistically) probably 80 something, even with all his other shit (being a sperg, ODD, etc.) he would probably have never become KingCobraJFS.
In that alternative reality he wouldn't even run his little magic wand business decently, he just would never have started it because magic doesn't exist. But maybe he would be out there making and selling other shit , he seems to like arts and crafts, just has no fucking talent or patience for it.
He probably wouldn't have a music career either, because he has no talent for it, although he would love to.
Truth is, with 130 IQ and his other attributes remaining the same he would probably be just as miserable but way less entertaining.

In previous drunken singalong streams he even sang along to Taylor Swift if I remember right.
Hey, the man is the voice of a generation, he can perfectly match any singer he tries to replicate.
Yes, he has done Taylor Swift and even Britney Spears.
 
I vote Kathy Burke to play the Bog Hag. She usually does funny characters, but she'd knock it out of the park.

Her role in this proves her dramatic range and capacity for playing horribly disturbed women, suffering from Stockholm syndrome towards their abusers.

In this case though, a touch of Waynetta Slob would really capture the Bog Witch.

Not really fair to the Uber driver just doing their job tbh.

Uber Drivers are a maverick breed! They know the risks of being a fly by night cabbie for hire.

They laugh in the face of death, for their 5 star ratings!
 
Josh is like 1/6th wigger. Most of us are adults and we can concede that Limp Bizkit is in fact fucking cool but people like Josh take it to a whole new level by going to actually see ICP with your methhead friend and your zoophilic goat fucking friend, capping off the night by getting sprayed with Faygo by Violent J.
disregarding the objectively wrong comment about Limp Bizkit, I fucking need to see cobes in shitty juggalo face paint. I bet you he'd call it corpse paint or some shit, that or he'd buy a cheap party city clown make up kit and make himself look even more like a bloated river corpse.
It took about 15 years of practicing black magic but cobes did indeed summon himself a demon
The boy should've taken a note from Ozzy, there's a reason you go to the church after you get yourself a succubus
 
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