Patrick Alan Melton / Nobody Likes Onions / "THE QUEEN!!" - Obese STMS a-log, "Dabbleverse" creep, "jokes" about children starting an OnlyFans (at 15), scouts X to find photos of them, offers child vocalised TTS. Argued for "ethical generative AI CP", conceded awkwardly with a laugh amid backlash.

Get the rope Macaulay! said:
Seriously though, the first 25 episodes are an average of 40 minutes each, (if you need them just ask) but they're incredibly funny.
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Is it only the first 25 you have?

There's a specific segment from the early days of the show that I read about that I'm looking to document in the thread.

Get the rope Macaulay! said:
I will say it is sort of sad how none of the people Patrick mentions until 2010 have anything resembling an e-celeb career now, outside of Mike "redbar" David of course. but episode 500+ feels almost like a Mary Sue esque fantasy with how it feels like every 5th episode is another huge name. Like Tom Segura or Ari Shaffir or other huge LA comedians practically banging on the door demanding to be let on.
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It is... surprising who's been on the show in the past, considering what it is now.

Desktop User2 said:
But here´s no register of a Patrick Melton marrying a Danielle Cohen (we know his "girlfriend" name is Danielle out of this clip) in Clark County, so maybe they married outside of Nevada?
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He's implying that he may have gotten married in Europe during a recent trip a few weeks or months ago and just started wearing a Rekieta-style silicone ring.
 
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Desktop User2 said:
According to his LinkedIn page, he never worked a proper job on his life and had his BS in information System Managements almost a decade later of RSS was implemented so the obvious bullshit is obvious:
LinkedIn page
Could not archive without being logged in and LinkedIn shows the searching party so here is a screenshot:
View attachment 6411118
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Why the fuck would he even make a linkedin account?

It's like seeing a linkedin account for a crack dealer.
 
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JustStopDude said:
Why the fuck would he even make a linkedin account?

It's like seeing a linkedin account for a crack dealer.
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Masters Degree (ok, an MBA) and not a single day on a proper job. Massive trust fund kid vibes.

Balldo's Gate said:
He's implying that he may have gotten married in Europe during a recent trip a few weeks or months ago and just started wearing a Rekieta-style silicone ring.
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That clip claiming he was recently married is from May 2023. So if recent is his claim, it might be bullshit. Did he claim it after the pedo hunting started?
 
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I'll try to do a write-up how Melton discovered Steel Toe. It involves Chad Zumock, and that's also a big part of the Dabbleverse grand narrative.
I think Chad is more or less a reliable source on Melton. He worked with Fatrick briefly, and from what I understand other comedians who worked with Melton also hate him, and happy to share dirt on him. Chad also doesn't run with unconfirmed rumours, he wouldn't even speculate about April doing coke, and he's the real number one Steel Toe a-log.
 
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AltisticRight said:
Maybe Danielle COHEN didn't want to marry this fat slob because if he divorces her, she'll lose half of her hovel.
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Maybe Patrick is gay?

I mean Josh Denny seems to think so. He explicitly said "closeted homosexual." Not "faggot" (which is more often used as a generic insult these days).
 
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I think the address might be wrong: 5242 is a corner house. Also on FastBackgroundcheck, Patrick Melton and Danielle Cohen are at 5250 on the preview of the Google search. I cannot access the site for some reason but any of you can check it out:
Background Check
Voter Records to Patrick Allan Melton also place him at 5250:
Voter Records
Associated with a Danielle Melody Cohen
Voter Records
Last sold in 2020 according to Zillow but maybe someone could look into property records.
Zillow listing

Either Zillow or Voter Records allowed me to archive it either on Ghost Archives or archive.ph. If someone has any recommendations for archival sites or tips to bypass their limitations, I´d appreciate it (probably not the right thread to ask for it tho).

@AltisticRight
 
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AltisticRight said:
Aaron was involved in a swinger polyQ with the (non-practicing esq.) YouTube Lawyer Niqolas Rekieta and his wife Qayla Rekieta. The foursome was named "The Qovers". This open relationship qollapsed quite quickly.
Aaron Imholte and his then wife April "fleshlight" Anderson has a thread here: Link
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Minor point of critiQue, I suggest you spell Kayla's name correctly and use jokes that reference Rekieta sparingly, only if they're funny on their face. There's always the chance someone will stumble upon this thread to find out why this retard is talking about their kids who have no idea what the Balldoverse is and references would be lost on them. We should keep the tourists in mind for the OP.

AltisticRight said:
Jokes are fine but I fail to see any here.
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That laugh when he jokes about wanting to fuck children tells me all I need to know about this creepy fuck. He looks away, almost in embarrassment, mostly in delight that he thinks he's fooling everybody while laying out exactly how he really feels with his "joke".
 
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RandyMiskatonic said:
What is it about dude's named Patrick that makes anyone given that name the most insufferable of cunts?
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No, child.....it's you who are insufferable....
Guntkvd said:
Dabbleverse
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it's also something that (per them) Aaron and Melton ARE NOT a part of.


EDIT: so, what is the big fucking deal about whether you're in the dabblverse or not?

The Dabbleverse is Boomer Bloodsports (in spite of the fact that literally all the "fans" in it are what you would technially be considered "Gen X"). Also, the phrase "Boomer Bloodsports" can be credited to Mersh.

Admitting that you're in the dabbleverse means that you have to admit that you're career as an "EDGY, ALT COMIC, MAHHN" is over. You're now having to cater to ex Stern show boomers who say dumb shit like, "Hey man- you're one funny SOB....You get me through my hard day work" in superchats. Queer normie shit like that

in essence, being a part of the dabbleverse is like if you're local Hardcore band decided to start doing shows for fat, mouthbreaters in Branson

it's weird because Sektur niggas aren't uptight about being in THE SEKTUR.
However, people who are obviously in the dabbleverse will, for the most part, never admit to being in the dabbleverse because they think they are edgy, alt comics (MAHHHN!!) and they shudder to think that their fanbase is literal 45 year old women
 
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johnnynoname said:
No, child.....it's you who are insufferable....

it's also something that (per them) Aaron and Melton ARE NOT a part of.


EDIT: so, what is the big fucking deal about whether you're in the dabblverse or not?

The Dabbleverse is Boomer Bloodsports (in spite of the fact that literally all the "fans" in it are what you would technially be considered "Gen X"). Also, the phrase "Boomer Bloodsports" can be credited to Mersh.

Admitting that you're in the dabbleverse means that you have to admit that you're career as an "EDGY, ALT COMIC, MAHHN" is over. You're now having to cater to ex Stern show boomers who say dumb shit like, "Hey man- you're one funny SOB....You get me through my hard day work" in superchats. Queer normie shit like that

in essence, being a part of the dabbleverse is like if you're local Hardcore band decided to start doing shows for fat, mouthbreaters in Branson

it's weird because Sektur niggas aren't uptight about being in THE SEKTUR.
However, people who are obviously in the dabbleverse will, for the most part, never admit to being in the dabbleverse because they think they are edgy, alt comics (MAHHHN!!) and they shudder to think that their fanbase is literal 45 year old women
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It's mostly Cumia's fan club, but Stern is also a strong influence. Why would you ballwash a washed up racist pedophile who likes Nick Fuentes is a mystery to me.
 
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Guntkvd said:
Why would you ballwash a washed up racist pedophile who likes Nick Fuentes is a mystery to me.
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Clout....some of these people have thrown everything at the wall, and nothing has stuck, so being a barnacle on The Count's ship is way better than vaping in your basement

Also, some (like Karl from WATP, and Aaron) do it out of hero worship because instead of seeing the acts of cumia as legit old pedo nigga, they are in awe and still see the glitter in their idol............or, someshit like that
 
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AltisticRight said:
It's not like his viewers are huge fans of his behaviour.
1726196323629.png
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Actually, I suspect the screenshot above is a bit of an aberration. From what I have researched, a great many of his fans (imagine being a Melton fan) are perfectly fine with his child rape humor.

For whatever reason, NLO watchers are convinced Aaron is the antichrist and "it's just jokes bro." They don't explain the culpability of Aaron's minor children with respect to any of Aaron's actions though. At best, they just try to claim that sexualizing Aaron's 10-year-old is justified to try to get a rise out of Aaron.

To be perfectly clear, if people were this obsessed with Rekieta's kids, I'd be giving them shit too. In fact, I have. I'm on record telling Cynthia off several times.
 
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