She's plastic as hell while Melania is basically as close to perfection as an actual human can get. Loomer looks like Jigsaw in a wig while Melania literally does not have a bad angle. As a (rare?) lady kiwi I know that there is so much more to life than outward appearances, but IMO Melania annihilates Laura in the categories of class, intelligence, and worldliness as well.
Trump has famously said that beautiful women are good for an hour but what do you do with them afterward? He appreciates a woman who can keep up both in intellect and (more importantly) intellectual curiosity. Maybe I'm biased and maudlin and a bit sentimental, but Melania smokes the everloving fuck out of Loomer despite being 20 years older. Forget the lethal dose of plastic surgery, Loomer loses on every other metric too.
If he's really doing this then maybe he actually is slipping. I always thought he was past getting gassed up by new, needy, and thirsty social climbers. Things were so much better under Trump; if not the best, those were certainly the most economically decent years of my adult life. I was hoping to get 4 more of them. But maybe the universe just lies in wait, ready to serve up some fuck ass regression to the mean like a vaudeville pie in the face. C'est la vie. Sad.
(Apologies for my tone, tophats to the left)