"ADF" / Philip Vincent Haskins-Delici / Isabel Rosa Araujo - The Original Troon Commie Cow

[The Dude]

A bunch of fat faggots barely able to stand upright rolling their fat rolls around.

No, that's the Truffle Shuffle.

 

[Plum Smuggler]

Phil gives the farms a stern warning. Don't worry, operatives are only observing 1524 N SUMNER ST APT 307 PORTLAND, OR.

All operatives have received inoculation against pepper spray as a precaution.

 

[DespotCTM]

Phil gives the farms a stern warning. Don't worry, operatives are only observing 1524 N SUMNER ST APT 307 PORTLAND, OR.
View attachment 6485824
All operatives have received inoculation against pepper spray as a precaution.

The clean-up crews are on standby armed with febreeze and scrub daddies, we cleaning this piggy

 

[Kugelsak Kastengrus 6th]

Phil gives the farms a stern warning. Don't worry, operatives are only observing 1524 N SUMNER ST APT 307 PORTLAND, OR.
View attachment 6485824
All operatives have received inoculation against pepper spray as a precaution.

Of course we'll be horizontal. We'll be laughing our asses off watching him attempt to waddle down several flights of stairs with cheese crumbs all over his crusted on temu soldier costume.

 

[The Un-Clit]

Phil gives the farms a stern warning. Don't worry, operatives are only observing 1524 N SUMNER ST APT 307 PORTLAND, OR.
View attachment 6485824
All operatives have received inoculation against pepper spray as a precaution.

I can totally picture Phil in my mind, standing facing the front door for hours at a time, trembling like a bowl full of Jelly in his cheap Chinesium armour suit with pepper spray in 1 hand and pink baton in the other, stinking of old cheese and staring non-stop at the handle of the door, just WAITING for the dozens of jackbooted thugs from the Kiwi Farms to smash their way in to try and take out Portland's greatest Aint-ifa supper soldier.

I think he honestly believes his own fantasy. It's so tard-tastic only Phil could do this seriously.

 

[Twrx]

I can totally picture Phil in my mind, standing facing the front door for hours at a time, trembling like a bowl full of Jelly in his cheap Chinesium armour suit with pepper spray in 1 hand and pink baton in the other, stinking of old cheese and staring non-stop at the handle of the door, just WAITING for the dozens of jackbooted thugs from the Kiwi Farms to smash their way in to try and take out Portland's greatest Aint-ifa supper soldier.

I think he honestly believes his own fantasy. It's so tard-tastic only Phil could do this seriously.

Reminds me of how when the ogre took over the apartment, Phil said he gave up his bedroom so he could be in the living room so he could watch the door and protect the place.

 

[AnOminous]

Reminds me of how when the ogre took over the apartment, Phil said he gave up his bedroom so he could be in the living room so he could watch the door and protect the place.

Pretty sure that's what Jonny boy (rip in piss) told him to take over his bedroom. Retard Phil couldn't quite figure out this Machiavellian scheme because of potato brain.

 

[Cybertonia]

Phil gives the farms a stern warning. Don't worry, operatives are only observing 1524 N SUMNER ST APT 307 PORTLAND, OR.

There's a joke to be made here about a peeled ginger root entering vertically and exiting horizontally but I'm too high to make it right now.

 

[Bill Evans 45]

The only thing any invader will see moving is Phil's fat ass as he attempts to burrow beneath the bed.

 

[Drama Trauma]

Phil gives the farms a stern warning. Don't worry, operatives are only observing 1524 N SUMNER ST APT 307 PORTLAND, OR.
View attachment 6485824
All operatives have received inoculation against pepper spray as a precaution.

Kiwi Kommando Korps are already dispatched, the "Negro" go in first for surprise attack and bigger intimidation if you know what I mean.

 

[Tragi-Chan]

Phil gives the farms a stern warning. Don't worry, operatives are only observing 1524 N SUMNER ST APT 307 PORTLAND, OR.
View attachment 6485824
All operatives have received inoculation against pepper spray as a precaution.

I assume the guy in the middle asking for time out is meant to be Phil. Not very intimidating!

 

[UselessRubberKeyboard]

What makes him think we’ll enter vertically? A true Kiwi will fly in horizontally, feet first, comic book karate flying kick style. We’ll undoubtedly leave vertically though, probably yawning with boredom at the utter lack of action. Maybe we’ll even leave a broom and a few bin bags behind, so Phil can give the place a once-over the next time he has guests.

Can’t teach people manners nowadays, tsk. Bet he wouldn’t even offer us a cup of tea!

 

[Falcon Sebben]

Phil gives the farms a stern warning. Don't worry, operatives are only observing 1524 N SUMNER ST APT 307 PORTLAND, OR.
View attachment 6485824
All operatives have received inoculation against pepper spray as a precaution.

Why does Taters think anybody is actually afraid of him?

The only weapons he has, other than pepper spray, is a couple bats and batons. Sure any idiot can use one but he'd probably get so winded swinging it you could rip it from his hands and shove it up his ass.

No wait, he might like that... just hit him across the head with it a couple times.

The only thing any invader will see moving is Phil's fat ass as he attempts to burrow beneath the bed.

While he frantically dials 911 and squeals for the police to come save him.

 

[UselessRubberKeyboard]

Why does Taters think anybody is actually afraid of him?

The only weapons he has, other than pepper spray, is a couple bats and batons. Sure any idiot can use one but he'd probably get so winded swinging it you could rip it from his hands and shove it up his ass.

No wait, he might like that... just hit him across the head with it a couple times.


While he frantically dials 911 and squeals for the police to come save him.

The secret to using a baton is being able to swing it quickly and with as least movement as possible (giving less time for the opponent to block). Bats aren’t really a good weapon for precisely this reason.

Sauce: saw a fight where a guy thought he was smart trying to hit someone with a lump hammer. Yeah, he went down before he’d even finished his first swing.

Phil is not fit, nor is he able to move fast (even for a sale at the pizza parlour). Phil and a baseball bat is a hilariously useless combination, but of course it looks good for posing - which is why Phil has his tranny bat and ‘just like the cops carry’ baton.

I eagerly await the angry posturing video of Phil whirling a bat around and smashing half his flat by mistake, to show us just how scary he is.

 

[AnOminous]

Why does Taters think anybody is actually afraid of him?

More importantly, why does he think a single person who qualifies as a human would ever want to cross the threshold of his filth hive?

 

[fuckidunno]

I love how inclusive these people are that they have a guy in a wheelchair a part of their crew.

 

[moorhen]

Phil gives the farms a stern warning. Don't worry, operatives are only observing 1524 N SUMNER ST APT 307 PORTLAND, OR.
View attachment 6485824
All operatives have received inoculation against pepper spray as a precaution.

I hope whoever’s on the drive-by team does a better job this time, we would be the laughing stock of the internet if we missed twice.

 

[Tragi-Chan]

More importantly, why does he think a single person who qualifies as a human would ever want to cross the threshold of his filth hive?

Real answer: he doesn’t. Something has evidently happened in his real life that’s making him feel powerless, so he’s doing all this posturing to try to make himself feel better. Possibly Antifa finally told him straight-up that his retardation is an embarrassment, or possibly he’s frustrated because he got arrested and the cops didn’t rape him as he hoped. But because he can’t actually fight or defend himself in any way, he’s baiting us, because we aren’t actually going to do anything and he knows it.

He’d be a lot happier if he just stopped trying to impress people. If he just accepted that he’s a retard and that’s his life. If he just went to hang out with the other special needs adults. The tragedy of Phil’s life is that normal IQ people have always tolerated him, so he assumed that meant he was on their level.

Phil, if you’re reading this: it’s not your fault that your mother drank while she was pregnant.

 

[Bill Evans 45]

bats and batons

You know he'd haul back for a big swing and crack the back of his own head.

 

[Falcon Sebben]

The secret to using a baton is being able to swing it quickly and with as least movement as possible (giving less time for the opponent to block). Bats aren’t really a good weapon for precisely this reason.

Sauce: saw a fight where a guy thought he was smart trying to hit someone with a lump hammer. Yeah, he went down before he’d even finished his first swing.

Phil is not fit, nor is he able to move fast (even for a sale at the pizza parlour). Phil and a baseball bat is a hilariously useless combination, but of course it looks good for posing - which is why Phil has his tranny bat and ‘just like the cops carry’ baton.

I eagerly await the angry posturing video of Phil whirling a bat around and smashing half his flat by mistake, to show us just how scary he is.

Agreed. The main advantage of a baton is it's speed and the fact that you get hit by the ferule on the end and it can hurt like hell. But like any weapon you need training. just carrying it around means nothing if you can't use it effectively.

And yes I've seen a guy try to use a basebatt bat in a street fight and got his ass handed to him after the first swing. Why? He swung too hard, too wild and it allowed his opponent to take him down and stomp his ass. That's what would happen to Taters if he tried to put up a fight.

Phil, if you’re reading this: it’s not your fault that your mother drank while she was pregnant.

If you knew your child would grow up to be Taters then you'd drink too.

You know he'd haul back for a big swing and crack the back of his own head.

This is why I'd love to see him get his hands on a set of nunchaku. You know he'd be learning all the tricks that speed chuckers have but not understand that that's all flash and no substance. Then he gets out there on the streets, pulls them out and starts flailing about autistically with them before bonking himself on the head because he never learned proper control.

Hit something with those and you need to learn how to deal with the recoil.