Lolcow KingCobraJFS / Josh Saunders - Amateur musician, YouTube Streamer, wandmaker, and self-proclaimed "sexy goth badboy". Perpetually circling the drain.

[Slim Boglim]

- “That’s what’s up/that’s most definitely what’s up.” classic, always use it, not even ironically anymore.
- “Better not _____, boy!” Never said aloud but pops into my head daily
- don’t know how to spell “response” anymore. I genuinely write it as “responce” every time and have to manually fix it
- “like woah there mister big spender HEHRN!” Another great one i use when situation permittable
- “we tried ta tell em but he’s too stoopid ta see it!” Only whip this one out when I screw up in front of friends who already know I’m a retard and come to expect retarded things from me
- “hehehe yeeeeesssssth” I use this way more than I should and I’m sure it creeps people out. If anybody wonders I play it off like it’s a poor impression of Beast Wars Megatron

 

[emitter]

Paused an old video at the perfect time. Solid image for a memorial video or an investigation of the (surely) haunted Conquistador apartment.

 

[ash_clown]

Paused an old video at the perfect time.

That's like trying to catch green smoke with your bare hand. TMDWTFU

 

[Ponzo]

I was today years old when i learned that Josh does not cum on a womans face or her tits out of respect and instead has a designated cum puddle

 

[anliteralidiot]

I was today years old when i learned that Josh does not cum on a womans face or her tits out of respect and instead has a designated cum puddle
View attachment 6519130

Wait, but she started that fight about him cumming on her... But he doesn't cum on her?

 

[spacko]

I was today years old when i learned that Josh does not cum on a womans face or her tits out of respect and instead has a designated cum puddle
View attachment 6519130

better not spill your seed on the ground BOY

 

[Law]

Betternot commit onanism, BOY!

Why the fuck does he look like Craig David's Bo Selecta mask? Oh my god, doodt.
View attachment 6517364

I don't know Bo Selecta, but this was the description:

Obsessive fan Avid Merrion, aided by the Bear and rubber masked celebrities, hosts his series from the squalor of his bedroom, guiding viewers through an eclectic mix of celebrity stories, interviews and gossip in his unique style.

It sounds like this website?
I loved Jam and The Young Ones so I may check it out. The grungy dude with a Gringotts nose dressed up as Mel B looks funny as shit.

EDIT: Holy shit episode one starts out with a dank food hack!

 

[Ponzo]

Wait, but she started that fight about him cumming on her... But he doesn't cum on her?

If you ask her tomorrow she will claim he did cum on her

 

[Ravier Xavenblood]

If you ask her tomorrow she will claim he did cum on her
View attachment 6519156

Her BPD brainloop is never going to stop, isn't it.

 

[niggers]

I was today years old when i learned that Josh does not cum on a womans face or her tits out of respect and instead has a designated cum puddle

the hagraven would not get a drop of the kings seed. Based.

 

[somevan712]

I was today years old when i learned that Josh does not cum on a womans face or her tits out of respect and instead has a designated cum puddle
View attachment 6519130

I think this is the first time I've heard somebody say "cum puddle." I hope it's the last because that is just gross. A designated cum spot is so nasty. He never cleans so I don't want to imagine the smell of it. Based Cobra for respecting women though. "Better to cum on the floor then on your gorl" t-shirt when?

 

[UncleBlazer]

the hagraven would not get a drop of the kings seed. Based.

Very wise. No telling what that haggard old swamp witch could do with some potent boglim nut.

 

[Ravier Xavenblood]

She literally pissed in the Walmart parking lot and screamed "YOUR MOTHER CAUSES YOU COCK ISSUES!". Just imagine what Cobes' neighbors had to put up with for the few days she was there.

 

[AnOminous]

better not spill your seed on the ground BOY

Fun fact: that was the actual sin of Onan, not masturbating. He was obligated to impregnate his dead brother's wife under levirate law (a brother was obligated to give his late relative's bride offspring which would not be considered his own heir). Instead he pulled out.

Let's just say not impregnating NAL with Innsmouth-tier babby is something even the Old Testament JHVH would have forgiven.

the hagraven would not get a drop of the kings seed. Based.

Purity of essence.

 

[Slim Boglim]

I was today years old when i learned that Josh does not cum on a womans face or her tits out of respect and instead has a designated cum puddle
View attachment 6519130

Genuine insanity. Have to take it with a grain of salt because it’s coming (lol) from a bog hag but it definitely makes sense. It’s one of those things you take for granted how absolutely insane it is that the guy goons every day to chaturbate and just cums on his fucking floor and doesn’t even wipe it up.

Do you guys thing he had a designated cum puddle under his desk when he lived in the basement? Was the puddle cummed from the start or did he used to use toilet paper or tissues like a sane person and then ran out one day and said “fuck it” and blasted rope directly onto the floor?

Jesus Christ you have toilet paper Josh just keep a roll by your computer

 

[Lei Wulong's Left Leg]

Do you guys thing he had a designated cum puddle under his desk when he lived in the basement? Was the puddle cummed from the start or did he used to use toilet paper or tissues like a sane person and then ran out one day and said “fuck it” and blasted rope directly onto the floor?

This is not new technique for the King, I'm afraid. Josh's Cum Puddle was part of the reason he got evicted, due to floor damage.

 

[Slim Boglim]

This is not new technique for the King, I'm afraid. Josh's Cum Puddle was part of the reason he got evicted, due to floor damage.

Oh I know. He sold parts of his carpet to lunatics which is even more insane than cumming in the floor and not cleaning it up.

I just mean I’m speculating how far back does the habit go. Was he glazing the floor of his room with sweetened condensed boglim milk all the way back in highschool? Did it start when he moved into his own place?

 

[Ravier Xavenblood]

Oh I know. He sold parts of his carpet to lunatics which is even more insane than cumming in the floor and not cleaning it up.

I just mean I’m speculating how far back does the habit go. Was he glazing the floor of his room with sweetened condensed boglim milk all the way back in highschool? Did it start when he moved into his own place?

Poor Clunt might have had to clean up boglim spunk every few months. No wonder he was so keen on Cobes moving out.

 

[NoodleFucker3000]

Oh I know. He sold parts of his carpet to lunatics which is even more insane than cumming in the floor and not cleaning it up.

You know damn well Porkney was hoping to get an extra crusty square

 

[Ravier Xavenblood]

Cooltaste did a review of the same BK meal Cobes reviewed.