FB 12/21 Chris reminiscences about moving back into 14BC after the fire

[Marvin]

I just don't understand why you'd go through the trouble of feeding cats if you didn't actually care what happened to them, is all. Must be my naive, bleeding heart yankee brain not understanding the simple lifestyle of the southerners. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

It's like feeding squirrels in your backyard.

So that infection is killing him right?

For the record, the taint wound wasn't ever infected. Not the first time around and not the second time either.

Anyway, pretty sure it closed up awhile ago.

 

[George Costanza]

This is a common question. I think it has to do with a misunderstanding of the nature of "outdoor cats", especially in more rural parts of the country. Depending on the household, outdoor cats can vary from being close members of the family (who happen to roam outside sometimes), to being essentially feral animals that occasionally wander indoors for food/shelter (but not permanently).

Chris' cats are more of the latter. Consider how he fed a family of cats in his backyard for awhile, until recently when he adopted one, Sorbet, and took it indoors. And he only did that because he saw Sorbet had an injured paw. If Sorbet wanders outside again (probably won't, but still), we might hear a mention from Chris, but ultimately he won't sweat over it. Sorbet was initially an outdoor cat, and can easily become one again.

Outdoor cats are sadly disposable. Or at the very least, not subject to any "owners" who have to maintain responsibility.

Well you know feral cats are fucking up bird and small mammals population?
Its actually a problem in several parts of the US and fuckers like Chris arent helping in any way

 

[Silvally]

For the record, the taint wound wasn't ever infected. Not the first time around and not the second time either.

Anyway, pretty sure it closed up awhile ago.

He must have been disappointed his labia went away

 

[Marvin]

Well you know feral cats are fucking up bird and small mammals population?
Its actually a problem in several parts of the US and fuckers like Chris arent helping in any way

Oh definitely. People need to get their cats fixed.

He must have been disappointed his labia went away

He was really buttmad when he finally admitted it was a wound. Like all caps "FINE OK IT'S A WOUND God! "

(Chris loves to make up his own stupid smileys that no one else uses.)

 

[Aldora]

He was really buttmad when he finally admitted it was a wound. Like all caps "FINE OK IT'S A WOUND God! "

(Chris loves to make up his own stupid smileys that no one else uses.)

But if you have to use a knife to cut yourself, how can it be anything but a wound? (I know this is a rhetorical question, but it was such a bizarre event )

 

[Marvin]

But if you have to use a knife to cut yourself, how can it be anything but a wound? (I know this is a rhetorical question, but it was such a bizarre event )

No, there's actually an answer for this.

:horrifying::horrifying::horrifying::horrifying::horrifying::horrifying::horrifying::horrifying::horrifying::horrifying::horrifying:

So, Chris was feeling up his junk, and he felt something "growing in". He believed his labia were growing in. He knew, logically, that he probably should let it... ahem... "erupt" on its own, because cutting himself open is crazy and he would probably get in trouble. But one night he was drunk and was sad that someone pointed out he didn't have an actual vagina, so he thought he'd help it along.

In the morning he was very embarrassed and sheepish about it. Chris is fucking lucky he posted about it online, and got pestered into getting help by weens, because if he hadn't, he'd probably end up in the hospital, fighting off a potentially lethal infection.

So technically speaking, in Chris logic, it was indeed a wound, but his vagina was going to come out and the wound would heal and everything would be alright.

It's kind of like he was Brundlewoman and he was pulling off his old ear and face and shit, and the beautiful Pam Anderson Christine would be underneath.

:horrifying::horrifying::horrifying::horrifying::horrifying::horrifying::horrifying::horrifying::horrifying::horrifying::horrifying:

 

[Aldora]

SNIP

That's really really sad

 

[Null]

It's been 2 years since you idiots gave him $500 out of pity thinking he will "need" it post-fire, when insurance already took care of everything.

Having been through a housefire, I can tell you with certainty there is a period of time where paperwork is still going through and there is no money.

 

[Sho'nuff]

Having been through a housefire, I can tell you with certainty there is a period of time where paperwork is still going through and there is no money.

Insurance also has a funny way of finding the value of items. Bought a $4000 OLED 4k TV? Well we found one at Lucky's Pawn Shop round the way in Brooklyn selling that TV for $750 so here is your money... You bought a $2 million Wu-Tang album? Well here is 10 cents for a burnable CD-R, we hope you ripped the tracks to your HDD (which was also burned).

 

[Mariposa Electrique]

It's kind of like he was Brundlewoman and he was pulling off his old ear and face and shit, and the beautiful Pam Anderson Christine would be underneath.

Wow, it's sad, but like a cheap romance novel Chris' burgeoning "Vagina" is a just a proxy for deeper issues, which he refuses to acknowledge or deal with until things get crazier.

So, Chris was feeling up his junk, and he felt something "growing in". He believed his labia were growing in. He knew, logically, that he probably should let it... ahem... "erupt" on its own, because cutting himself open is crazy and he would probably get in trouble.

If it was that noticeable to Chris it was probably an abscess.
I will never be able to get over Chris' flawed logic and belief system.

 

[IV 445]

All of the smoke probably did wonders for the smell.

Also, I wonder if the rental house has seen any new owners? I reckon that info wouldn't be too hard to track down.

"Honey, upstairs, I just found this frozen jar of may- OHMYGOD"

 

[TrippinKahlua]

Wasn't Chris put in jail like a day after moving back into the renovated 14BLC?

Dammit, I feel like Chris is trying to give a shout out to me when he says "Tropical Climate"

 

[Mister Grumpy Pants]

Chris moving back into his house isn't the only 2 year anniversary that's coming up.

Will he reminisce about that?

 

[DragoonSierra]

All of the smoke probably did wonders for the smell.

Also, I wonder if the rental house has seen any new owners? I reckon that info wouldn't be too hard to track down.

"Honey, upstairs, I just found this frozen jar of may- OHMYGOD"

You could probably find that house and call up the guy who owns it if youre curious.

 

[InTheSidePocket]

No, there's actually an answer for this.

:horrifying::horrifying::horrifying::horrifying::horrifying::horrifying::horrifying::horrifying::horrifying::horrifying::horrifying:

So, Chris was feeling up his junk, and he felt something "growing in". He believed his labia were growing in. He knew, logically, that he probably should let it... ahem... "erupt" on its own, because cutting himself open is crazy and he would probably get in trouble. But one night he was drunk and was sad that someone pointed out he didn't have an actual vagina, so he thought he'd help it along.

In the morning he was very embarrassed and sheepish about it. Chris is fucking lucky he posted about it online, and got pestered into getting help by weens, because if he hadn't, he'd probably end up in the hospital, fighting off a potentially lethal infection.

So technically speaking, in Chris logic, it was indeed a wound, but his vagina was going to come out and the wound would heal and everything would be alright.

It's kind of like he was Brundlewoman and he was pulling off his old ear and face and shit, and the beautiful Pam Anderson Christine would be underneath.

:horrifying::horrifying::horrifying::horrifying::horrifying::horrifying::horrifying::horrifying::horrifying::horrifying::horrifying:

that is the single most disgusting thing I've ever heard.

So he thought something was growing down there and then cut himself open to let it out oh my God.

 

[OtterParty]

I wonder what Chris will do when his house burns down again