Careercow Jack Russell Scalfani / Cooking With Jack / Jack on the Go Show / jakatak - YouTube "Celebrity" "Chef", Living Encyclopedia of Gluttony-Induced Maladies, Salmonella Elemental

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When will Jack drop dead?

  • February-March 2024

    Votes: 6 0.4%
  • April-May 2024

    Votes: 6 0.4%
  • June-July 2024

    Votes: 18 1.3%
  • August-September 2024

    Votes: 34 2.5%
  • October-November 2024

    Votes: 37 2.7%
  • December 2024

    Votes: 44 3.2%
  • Sometime in 2025

    Votes: 257 18.7%
  • Sometime in 2026

    Votes: 193 14.0%
  • Jack lives forever. The Wendigo Must Consoom

    Votes: 781 56.8%

  • Total voters
    1,376
I'm enjoying the chili discussions here.

Yall don't add cumin? That's like, *the* chili spice to me. Not much, but it needs it. Also, fresh lime juice at the end is a nice add-in. I like tossing in a pickled hot pepper too, adds a lot of flavor.

Leftovers are great served on a homemade mac and cheese too.
Chili powder or your own dried pepper mix I think is the true core of the dish, since that pepper is your flavor base, not the tomatoes. Heck it's not a bad idea to use a stock or broth as your liquid base instead of tomatoes if you do it right. Cumin is one of the key items needed, alongside garlic. Onions can be incorporated early to round the flavor, or late to give a texture to compliment.

Chili is amazing due to how many ways you can make it. A bit of chocolate? Can do. A dash of cinnamon? Sure. Just want it mild? Pick a good smoky and mild pepper. Want it hot? Pick your levels and options; habanero in small doses adds a nice flavor and heat if balanced out right for example.

Despite this, Jack the Hack doesn't do shit with it, since he just makes the same shitslop soup via pressure cooker. Seriously, dude's made nearly 40 videos about chilis, and they're mostly the same soupy slop.
 
I also don't understand pressure cookers. How hard is it to prepare everything in the morning, toss them into a casserole and let it simmer for 8 hours? The flavours are just far better.
Blanch the meat and while that's going, chop up everything. If you don't like it too oily, then toss the protein onto a lined tray and oven it for 30 minutes after blanching. You can even collect the fatty oils and use it for cooking or deep frying. Infinite oil glitch. It brings a nice meaty aroma to your fries.
Slow cooking recipes are mostly hands-off already, I just don't understand why it needs to be turned into 30 minutes slop.

How is Scalfatty's shitty freeze dryer working? Did he ever change the oil in the compressor? I look forward to that expensive toy going bust.
 
I also don't understand pressure cookers. How hard is it to prepare everything in the morning, toss them into a casserole and let it simmer for 8 hours? The flavours are just far better.

Ease doesn't matter to Jack, because TamHam does everything anyway, and nor does quality, since the half dozen strokes he had shot to shit all his senses. Jack's love of pressure cookers is purely about being able to shovel GUD MEET in his face as fast as possible.

Does anyone know if it's Siri or some other AI Jack uses? I wonder if it could be info jam'd to rec him a pressure cooker recipe that includes ball bearings.
 
I also don't understand pressure cookers. How hard is it to prepare everything in the morning, toss them into a casserole and let it simmer for 8 hours? The flavours are just far better.
They're pretty good if you want something like a pot roast but fast. They also work well for swiss steak. I like them for cuts of meat that are already flavorful without doing much to them, like chuck.

If I have eight hours or I'm leaving it for the day while I'm out of the house, though, I'll slow cook every time.

I haven't done much pressure cooking lately, though, instead doing something like insanely long cooks, like 24 hour baby back ribs sous vide (finished on a grill or screaming hot cast iron skillet).
 
Chili powder or your own dried pepper mix I think is the true core of the dish, since that pepper is your flavor base, not the tomatoes. Heck it's not a bad idea to use a stock or broth as your liquid base instead of tomatoes if you do it right. Cumin is one of the key items needed, alongside garlic. Onions can be incorporated early to round the flavor, or late to give a texture to compliment.

Chili is amazing due to how many ways you can make it. A bit of chocolate? Can do. A dash of cinnamon? Sure. Just want it mild? Pick a good smoky and mild pepper. Want it hot? Pick your levels and options; habanero in small doses adds a nice flavor and heat if balanced out right for example.

Despite this, Jack the Hack doesn't do shit with it, since he just makes the same shitslop soup via pressure cooker. Seriously, dude's made nearly 40 videos about chilis, and they're mostly the same soupy slop.
Since everyone's sperging about their preferred ways to make chilli, i guess ill go: I like a tomato base, chipotle peppers (its hard for me to find anything but canned ones where I live, so I go with that), cumin, oregano, some coriander seed, cocoa, and onions added early on. I've never tried coffee in there (i'm sure itll be nice, but im concerned about the caffiene affecting sleep), nor cinnamon. I usually use a mix of every variety of bean i can get my hands on and small chunks of tough cuts of meat.
 
I'm enjoying the chili discussions here.

Yall don't add cumin? That's like, *the* chili spice to me. Not much, but it needs it. Also, fresh lime juice at the end is a nice add-in. I like tossing in a pickled hot pepper too, adds a lot of flavor.

Leftovers are great served on a homemade mac and cheese too.
Chili spice whether the commercial kind or your own is key. But yes, cumin is necessary as are a few others but it's like Garam Masala. It's a blend of spices and no two blends taste quite the same. So you go with what works. Or like Fatty does just throw a bunch of random shit together and hope for the best.

I've never tried coffee in there (i'm sure itll be nice, but im concerned about the caffiene affecting sleep), nor cinnamon.
Coffee you've got like a cup worth for an entire pot. So how many servings is that divided into? Unless you're super sensitive to it.

And cinnamon? Just a little pinch. Not much. Just enough to give it bit more depth but not enough to overpower the dish. Fatty's version would have tasted overly of cinnamon.
 
Imprison Scalfanis. Coerce local law enforcement to bear false testimony against Scalfanis in court. Bury Scalfani property under concrete. Use market manipulation to undermine Scalfani investments. Deport Scalfanis. Impound Scalfani vehicles. Consume resources intended for Scalfanis. Defund Scalfani education. Introduce crack to Scalfani neighborhoods and communities. Convince foreign nations of Scalfani espionage. Flood Scalfani homes. Burn Scalfani Disney memorabilia. Deficate into Scalfani air filters and HVAC systems. Convict Scalfanis of arson. Utilize a multi-media aproach to create anti-Scalfani social media campaigns. Crash aircraft into Scalfani real estate. Defraud Scalfanis. Cut Scalfani break lines. Abuse power of attorney over Scalfanis to restrict Scalfani access to health care. Produce cottage industries making fun of Scalfanis.
 
Imprison Scalfanis. Coerce local law enforcement to bear false testimony against Scalfanis in court. Bury Scalfani property under concrete. Use market manipulation to undermine Scalfani investments. Deport Scalfanis. Impound Scalfani vehicles. Consume resources intended for Scalfanis. Defund Scalfani education. Introduce crack to Scalfani neighborhoods and communities. Convince foreign nations of Scalfani espionage. Flood Scalfani homes. Burn Scalfani Disney memorabilia. Deficate into Scalfani air filters and HVAC systems. Convict Scalfanis of arson. Utilize a multi-media aproach to create anti-Scalfani social media campaigns. Crash aircraft into Scalfani real estate. Defraud Scalfanis. Cut Scalfani break lines. Abuse power of attorney over Scalfanis to restrict Scalfani access to health care. Produce cottage industries making fun of Scalfanis.
If you're a guest at their house, load the shower rod up with sardines.
 
I'd pull the lever if there were no passengers

But with the prompt in mind, I will not pull it only because it would be funnier to watch him lay down on the tracks and probably starve himself to death since he can't even walk
Winter is coming……

Hammy could very easily wheel Jack outside into the cold , damp, Tennessee winter, then remotely brick his phone from the findmy app, and have a nice little cookie licking sesh with Janette while listening to the screams, then cries, then whimpering as Jack freezes nearly to death out in the elements.

Then when Tammy is satisfied and all cuddled-out with Jan, she could waddle down the stairs and wheel Jack back inside, and revive him so that he knows his feeble place in the world.

Tammy should also put the dog’s shock collar in Jack’s gud arm. He wouldn’t be able to take it off. She could shock him randomly or just make it beep to give him anxiety.
 
Yall don't add cumin? That's like, *the* chili spice to me.
Firm agree, chili without cumin is haram. Also:

Chili powder or your own dried pepper mix I think is the true core of the dish, since that pepper is your flavor base, not the tomatoes.
This. It's chili. The base of the dish should be chili peppers, other wise your making a tomato based stew. Fite me.
 
I also don't understand pressure cookers. How hard is it to prepare everything in the morning, toss them into a casserole and let it simmer for 8 hours?
It’s all about picking the right method of cooking for the food in front of you. Bear in mind that all of the electric pressure cookers I’ve seen on the market can also function as slow cookers. But they take up a lot less room than a traditional slow cooker.

I cook a lot of certain things in my Instant Pot (pressure cooker). For me, the number one “savior” aspect of this appliance is the ability to cook frozen meat quickly and have it come out tasting like a million bucks. We have family meals together almost every night, and often one or more of our younger kids will invite a friend to join us. So the ability to grab a package from the freezer and put a superbly cooked platter of, e.g., chicken thighs on the table in less than an hour for unexpected guests is a big benefit.

The Instant Pot is also indispensable for being able to quickly cook soups and stews that taste like they’ve had days simmering on low and slow — especially ones containing dried beans and pulses. All autumn and winter our Instant Pot is churning out killer split pea soup (for one example) at least once a week; it takes only 18 minutes to cook and $1 worth of ingredients for multiple servings. With a household of growing teenagers and their hungry friends here constantly, we pretty much have an Instant Pot bubbling with something all week. If not split pea soup, then some kind of beef stew or vegetable soup.

Which brings me to another major feature of the Instant Pot for us: the keep warm function that can last several days at a time. Fun fact: The Crock Pot was invented by a Jew for the purposes of having hot stew on Shabbat and holidays. Our family keeps these decrees and has found the Instant Pot to help out in similar ways.

If you make your own stocks, you can’t beat the Instant Pot for turning a 24 hour (simmer time) bone broth into a 60 minute bone broth — with the bones soft and edible at the end of it. It’s also great to be able to make batches of hard-cooked eggs in the Instant Pot without having to monitor a boiling pot on the stove. (They also peel easier than any eggs made with any other cooking method, IME.)
 
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Another pressure cooker winner: ham and beans, whether from a ham bone and beans or a ham hock or two and great northern beans. Saute onion in butter or oil, deglaze with wooden spoon, add minced garlic, add in beans and water, salt, pepper, a bay leaf or two, let it go. With a multicooker you can do it all in one device.

Oh I also always soak the beans. You can do it without and it doesn't ruin it but it's better that way especially if you like the beans somewhat mushy.

It's also great for lentils.
This. It's chili. The base of the dish should be chili peppers, other wise your making a tomato based stew. Fite me.
I usually use chili powder containing cumin and also add some cumin.
 
Another pressure cooker winner: ham and beans, whether from a ham bone and beans or a ham hock or two and great northern beans. Saute onion in butter or oil, deglaze with wooden spoon, add minced garlic, add in beans and water, salt, pepper, a bay leaf or two, let it go. With a multicooker you can do it all in one device.

Oh I also always soak the beans. You can do it without and it doesn't ruin it but it's better that way especially if you like the beans somewhat mushy.

It's also great for lentils.

I usually use chili powder containing cumin and also add some cumin.
The only thing I would add to this is using a healthy splash of a nice dry white wine to deglaze, adds a nice touch to the flavor profile.
 
Jack is very angry about a new movie he aaw


Jack on politics

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Does Jack even have sex anymore?

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My brain cannot handle the concept of a sexual Jack Scalfani. It rejects the premise outright, moving on to more pleasant thoughts, such as urethral shredding.
On the contrary, we have seen sexual Jack often. You will note many lascivious gestures whenever he is joined in the "studio" with a male guest or even when he is staring at a rare chuck steak.
 
Jack is very angry about a new movie he aaw
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Jack on politics

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Does Jack even have sex anymore?

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There are kids in special education class, who are autistic/developmentally disabled/etc, who can barely string sentences together, you ask them to describe the last movie they just saw, they can articulate it better than this retard. He's just like all those film critics who left Channel Awesome. FILM BAD! FILM BAD!
 
Does Jack even have sex anymore?
Of course he does.

When Jim Traynor comes over to plow Hammy and Hammy Jr, Fatty gets him ready by blowing him then sits meekly in the corner masturbating furiously like Marky Mark did in Boogie Nights trying to get a hard on just in case Hammy says it's okay for sloppy seconds.
 
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