i left!!!! i left!!! and my health has genuinely improved. i feel so much less depressed and stressed. its still a very fresh thing, but i've actually had the chance to enjoy my hobbies again. i treated myself to a pair of good knitting needles. it's been so so lovely.
its been wonderful. i wasn't nearly as alone as i thought i would be. thank you all for your support in helping me get the courage to get out. i know it sounds gay, but knowing i wasn't alone in this really helped. i've begun to make some wonderful friends at kickboxing, too. to anyone who needs to hear it; its okay to go. its okay to prioritise your needs and wants.
It's funny how simple this notion is. Just fucking leave. You owe nothing to no one and you're not living life for anyone else. Better to be a lonely, sad hermit than literally cling to life by the will of others who do so for fun. On a much smaller scale, that's what most people deal with. They sit in 6 discords consuming their lives, "flirting" (posting non-stop porn) with people they consider friends only in their interest to poon together.
Worse is when it's out of your hands. Seeing a friend slowly spiral, especially with troonery, when you completely lose touch. You can raise a child perfectly but all it takes is one bad friend and all that is out the window. That "friend" being a balding troon who wants to groom others into their misery. And that's how half the posts in here read. I've a friend who has dabbled in art, streaming, esports, tryharding.. all manner of things, all based on external validation. They'd not once sit down and go "this is great, I'm gonna do this for me". Even their streaming career was hundreds of dollars on a hyperfetish muscle wiggle figure, non-stop porn and goonery.
I've heard of porn addiction but it's much more than consumption to troons, it's a community and purpose in life. Bored? Pump. Friends? Flirt and/or pump. Can't muster the energy to do something good? Pumpywumpy!
Yay! Good news. I’m sure it’ll be a tremendous relief for her to hear that some of the things she’s struggling with are neither unusual nor strange.
She’ll likely ask you herself, whether you ever thought about transitioning or still want to do it, which will be a great occasion for explaining how dangerous, detrimental and risky that shit is.
Thank you, @Fapcop! We've yet to approach the transition subject, but we're already bonding over a lot of shared interests, and she was super happy that I contacted her!
She's just a really shy and lost girl, and she's smart too — I'm told by relatives that she's expressed doubt over her own transgender status, which is a good sign thst she deep down knows it's not the right choice. I hope I can make this clearer for her eventually, and show her it's perfectly fine to be GNC, and that her body didn't make her be molested and doesn't deserve to be punished, but the monster who did that, instead.
Thank you, @Fapcop! We've yet to approach the transition subject, but we're already bonding over a lot of shared interests, and she was super happy that I contacted her!
She's just a really shy and lost girl, and she's smart too — I'm told by relatives that she's expressed doubt over her own transgender status, which is a good sign thst she deep down knows it's not the right choice. I hope I can make this clearer for her eventually, and show her it's perfectly fine to be GNC, and that her body didn't make her be molested and doesn't deserve to be punished, but the monster who did that, instead.
I bet an understanding auntie spending time with her is a difference all by itself. No reason to bring up transitioning either, as long as she understands that she’s perfectly fine as she is, and many of the things she’s going through are perfectly normal.
also - not to derail the conversation too much - but remember when i posted about worrying about leaving a social group infested with troonery??
i left!!!! i left!!! and my health has genuinely improved. i feel so much less depressed and stressed. its still a very fresh thing, but i've actually had the chance to enjoy my hobbies again. i treated myself to a pair of good knitting needles. it's been so so lovely.
its been wonderful. i wasn't nearly as alone as i thought i would be. thank you all for your support in helping me get the courage to get out. i know it sounds gay, but knowing i wasn't alone in this really helped. i've begun to make some wonderful friends at kickboxing, too. to anyone who needs to hear it; its okay to go. its okay to prioritise your needs and wants. its okay to leave if it gets too much and you can't take the troonery anymore.
I’m so happy you found yourself and put yourself first. Best of luck to you! I remind myself I would rather be alone than be surrounded by people that don’t respect you. Also your risk of being skin walked or killed has just dropped significantly. Woo! Treat yourself to the tastiest of apples
And even knowing as much as I did about how the medical establishment is dominated by these activists now, what I am seeing is shocking me beyond words.
Here we have a kid who has clear, alarming symptoms of serious mental illness (not talking just a touch of the 'pression by a long shot). And actions that show a clear and present danger to self and others. And mutterings revealing an extremely unsound and unstable mind. And injuries from a 41 attempt that will have a lifelong impact.
And these dumb motherfuckers want to talk about one thing and one thing only as though it would solve all those problems:
Dear friend of many years has a teenage daughter pooning out. He is now dooming about how "the government wants my kid to not exist."
It's taking a minor effort of will not to say, "No one wants your kid to cease to be, we just think blowing up her endocrines and cutting her tits off in service of a fad dumber than Beanie Babies maybe isn't such a hot idea." Wouldn't do any good.
Dear friend of many years has a teenage daughter pooning out. He is now dooming about how "the government wants my kid to not exist."
It's taking a minor effort of will not to say, "No one wants your kid to cease to be, we just think blowing up her endocrines and cutting her tits off in service of a fad dumber than Beanie Babies maybe isn't such a hot idea." Wouldn't do any good.
You should say this to him.
Give him a wake up call.
Let him be the one to cut you out so when his daughter kills herself, you can sidestep the horror show.
Dear friend of many years has a teenage daughter pooning out. He is now dooming about how "the government wants my kid to not exist."
It's taking a minor effort of will not to say, "No one wants your kid to cease to be, we just think blowing up her endocrines and cutting her tits off in service of a fad dumber than Beanie Babies maybe isn't such a hot idea." Wouldn't do any good.
Agree. If he is a true friend, he will listen to you.
I am extremely close to two (2) troons. I met with one for drinks the other day. He was talking about how he wanted to start identifying as plural and I immidiately put the brakes on the conversation. I outright said that I think all the plural shit is a self-perpetuating cycle of devastating self-absorption and mental harm. I defended my position in a way that would make the most sense to him, and he seemed to pause and really reflect on it. He told me that he thought I was right and that he would think about it more.
The thing about the radical shit is that it cannot be adequately defended when argued against by someone who knows what they’re talking about and has done their research. Transing children is radical and cannot be adequately defended.
I wish I could just have autistic male friends instead of playing pretend under threat of losing friendships.
Do what you have to do to protect your family, but be certain that you're able to live with it afterwards. I'm so sorry that this is happening to your loved ones, and yourself.
The interesting part of this to me, in a bleak sorta way, is seeing Helen Joyce's prophecy come true in my own life. I am now friendly with more than one parent of a trans kid, and I'm seeing that she was exactly right: even if the phenomenon passes among young people to an extent, we'll never fully escape it so long as these parents still live. If they let their kids cross the point of no return (blockers/surgery), most of them will never be able to accept the magnitude of what they've done.
The interesting part of this to me, in a bleak sorta way, is seeing Helen Joyce's prophecy come true in my own life. I am now friendly with more than one parent of a trans kid, and I'm seeing that she was exactly right: even if the phenomenon passes among young people to an extent, we'll never fully escape it so long as these parents still live. If they let their kids cross the point of no return (blockers/surgery), most of them will never be able to accept the magnitude of what they've done.
I think this a lot too. I ided as trans for a bit under two years as a teenager, and I still know quite a few people who have properly transitioned as well. Not all of them are going to come around, so this isn't ever going to stop fully being an issue while I'm around to experience it.
I am now friendly with more than one parent of a trans kid, and I'm seeing that she was exactly right...most of them will never be able to accept the magnitude of what they've done.
Same. The mother who's transing her son to be "girl" that I am friends with has doubled down on the persecution complex, paranoia, fears, and anxiety since Trump got elected.
NRP is a tool of the Anti-Christ. Unironically, I pin the blame for a lot of progressives and lefties losing their minds in the wake of the election on NPR hitting the "Trump is Hitler McSatan on fascist steroids"* button harder than just about any other mainstream media outlet for the past 8 years.
Children look to their parents to be sources of emotional stability, and to signpost what/where is safe or dangerous. These fucking morons freaking out telling their kids that they are about to be genocided is heaping even more damage onto their offspring. It breaks my heart and boils my blood both at the same time.
As an aside, I wish these people would seek out accounts from survivors from Rwanda, Kosovo or the like. It's so fucking offensive the way they, who have likely never lived through any form of war, chuck words like "genocide" around like it's fucking oppression-confetti.
I don’t know if any other lesbians in this thread have had this conversation before where you ask yourself why don’t I just go along? Why don’t I just be non binary or start micro doing t so I can finally fit in? How fucked it is to be gay and not fit in with other gays? Like damn pick a struggle. I can’t openly talk to people about my views on this shit and it makes me feel ostracized amongst other lesbians.
There are several other lesbians in this thread (including me) that have expressed fear of this. It really is easy to feel this way, especially when trapped in a hugbox. It sounds nuts, but I genuinely think that "safe" places like r/gendercritical and the Farms helped me preserve what sanity I still have. You're not alone, as hard as it can be to believe that. We're around, just harder to find due to the political climate.
I feel less safe telling people I'm gay now in 2024 than I did back in the early 2000s, and back then I would get literal death threats. But you know what? Those faggots wouldn't shoot someone, they're pussies. But I can't say with the same confidence that some nutjob TRA wouldn't try to ruin my life or assault me. I just want to get married, someday.
I felt the same this year. While we've never been big into PDA and the whatnot, this was the first year in ages that I felt actual shame for being a lesbian, or fear that I'd get hurt really bad if I mentioned my wife. I struggled a lot with accepting that I liked women as a teenager because I'd see out girls in my classes getting sexually harassed by boys at best, or having people tell me that homosexuals were broken unprovoked. Me finally accepting that I do not like men in that way and do not want to be in a relationship with one was a major breakthrough. (And which is why it devastated me when my wife expressed fear during our struggles earlier this year that I wanted her to be more feminine, because she's such a sweet, loving, cute butch woman. If I wanted to be with a man, the world would be my oyster. She is my pearl, dammit. She really has no idea how precious she is.)
Sometimes I feel guilty about being married to my wife because the troons co-opted the gay rights movement after same sex marriage was achieved in the US. Like maybe I'm enabling that behavior by getting married to another woman that I had been with a relationship with for forever? I shouldn't, though, because that was my struggle, we earned it after a lifetime of feeling that we can never have something as simple as our relationship being legally recognized. Being married to her was one of the happiest days of my life, as wonderful as the day we first kissed, etc. Trannies were just their disgusting selves and crashed the party while everyone was busy celebrating winning a decades long fight. I'm not letting some men in dresses or women with zippertits ruin that for me. Fuck 'em.
Hope you find a special someone and get married. We've earned it.
There's sexual aggression issues now as well, and, to top it all off, for some reason she seems to be trying to pressure me into trooning out via using male pronouns and calling me a man. I cannot stress enough that I am a woman who has never expressed any differently?
Most of the few pooners I've known whose relationships with women continued after transitioning only stayed that way because the other woman began using they/them or pooning out themselves. If she's trying to force you to change pronouns and won't listen to you, that is extremely alarming. I'm really sorry that you're going through something so horrific.
As hard as it is, if she is not willing to hear you out then you need to leave for your safety. Maybe it'll snap her out of it, but T is a mind altering drug in my opinion. I wouldn't feel safe getting within a few feet of her until she's off it for a good few months, minimum. What she's doing is extremely abusive and actual, predatory grooming behavior. You don't deserve that. You've done what you can by standing your ground on who you are as a person. I'm proud of you for that.
I'm so sorry. What you've got to remember about troons and poons is they behave like addicts. I know you love her and want to help her, but as heartbreaking as it sounds, you ultimately can't save an addict from themselves. Only they can change themselves for the better. She clearly wants to pull you down the rabbit hole too. If you stay and don't comply with her demands, her aggression will most likely escalate.
I've had to adopt this attitude with my wife to keep our relationship going. She's trying to find something to soothe herself and her mental illness, and her coping methods pathologize into addiction if she's not careful. She's currently in "remission" with gender nonsense in that she's not expressing hatred of her biological sex or a desire to start T for a few months. However, she "addiction transferred" her depression and anxiety into food to the point of claiming that she can no longer recognize herself in the mirror. She's also experiencing nerve pain from an undiagnosed condition, which really isn't helping matters, too.
Fortunately it looks like she has turned a corner on that. She has a doctor's appointment set up for the nerve pain now, versus wanting to resign and crawl in a hole and die over it. I've also been helping her best I can by not bringing in "trigger foods" save for rare occasions. I can already see a change in her weight and stress levels. I really hope I am helping.
That's the thing. I see her still wanting help in some way, even if she needs a hand back up sometimes. I love her to pieces and I can tell even in her worst depression that she feels the same. I recently accidentally make her think that I was leaving because she misinterpreted me saying that I needed to buy a "train ticket [out of the city]" when I misspoke while saying that I needed to renew my bus pass. I think that gave her panic about how her depression was fucking me up as well, because she started being more proactive about getting out of her current funk after that. She's still open to criticism and willing to get some sort of help. I don't expect it to fix everything, but it still gives me hope that we'll get through the hardest days.
Meanwhile. the trans refugee pooner in my life is now working at a children's clinic and posting the usual fears of conservatives out to kill her despite now living in one of the bluest states in the country. Pronouns are still he/they. She recently posted a selfie and despite taking T for over two years to my understanding, she looks exactly like she did when I last saw her in real life, only slightly more gaunt. She also has changed her current name to be the initials of her birth and trans names. She has one of the most extreme lack of selves that I have seen in a pooner, as she's always changing her name, religion, gender, etc. A swing back to her very feminine birth name, even by initial, is intriguing. Not getting my hopes up, though. I will simply observe from afar like I do most of the other pooners I've known to see how it goes.
Kinda stuck with either the autistic to a degree that inevitably troon out or one with lil downs mixed in. The latter seem to be near immune to trooning out.
I'm so sorry. What you've got to remember about troons and poons is they behave like addicts. I know you love her and want to help her, but as heartbreaking as it sounds, you ultimately can't save an addict from themselves. Only they can change themselves for the better.She clearly wants to pull you down the rabbit hole too. If you stay and don't comply with her demands, her aggression will most likely escalate.
@tastelikeluckystrikes, repeating the sentiment ad nauseam but really—I am so sorry you are going through this. Emphasis to above quote added, because this response hits the nail on the head. I’ll say the same thing about this nightmare you’ve described as I’d say about a MTF doing it: your significant other deciding to transition in secret is absolutely deplorable and nigh unforgivable. I am so, so sorry.
Addict framing is very very helpful for understanding (and “treating” ie ending) troonery—how betrayed, shocked and disgusted would someone be entitled to feel upon learning their significant other started doing heroin in the spare bedroom last week? It’s the same damn thing. It sounds like she NEEDS to leave, or you if you can’t kick her out. Stay with some friends or loved ones but prepare for it to be long-term if not permanent. @toilet_rainbow also said this, but if she loves you, losing you may cut through the roid rage—but it may not, or may not be enough, and if so that cannot be enough for you. Even if gtfoing scares her… sorry, straight (lol), that trust is still broken, and either it gets rebuilt right or not at all. You cannot compromise with a drug addict, and you cannot compromise with a troon. Most do not take kindly to this.
And it bears repeating, being an adult in a committed relationship and doing this to someone who loves you is a selfishness beyond my comprehension. There is no love without trust, and no trust without honesty. How awful.
I love this point because it is true. I also love this point because it makes me all the happier to watch the T (fair to say lefT, since politics is still in the air) self-immolate and see how the roaches scatter. Detransitioners live with it—there’s a lot of people quietly reintegrating, some veering right back off into bad decisions and self-destruction, but a lot of us who have frog voices, scars and whatever other horrors work to accept it and find joy in still being alive after all, because life is precious. “Death before detransition” is a slogan coined by manipulative adults to herd lemming teenagers off a cliff.
All the histrionic suicide threats in the wake of Trump’s win are just another example of how dangerous the trans movement is—most of them are just trying to get attention with zero actual suicidal ideation behind it, but then ten dumb young “Leelah” Alcorns decide it’s time to play in traffic for trans rights. They get turned inside out as a martyr for two and half news cycles at most, then they are discarded. Encouraging unstable teenagers to believe they are dying is just one of evil things the adults behind this movement do. Any other movement would be called out for encouraging hysteria and copycats, but abusive BPD behaviors are encouraged and celebrated when they’re coming from a grifting troon.
I once worked with a man who had a very unusual, breathless, squeaky voice. He couldn’t speak very loudly and it sounded like it hurt a bit to talk. I always assumed he had been in some type of accident impacting his vocal cords or potential complications from smoking, but never did ask or find out why he sounded like that. Anyway, no one while I was there ever gave him shit about it. We ribbed him like normal and he joked right back. No one thought lesser of him. He was well-liked and worked hard. His voice was undeniably strange and I’m sure it did bother him from time to time, especially if it did hurt to speak, but he didn’t wallow in self-pity and just lived life like normal.
Having the type of voice I do is a handicap in many ways and I did lose some vocal flexibility, but I can still sing and laugh and yell and very rarely if ever is there pain now. I understand how lucky I am for every bullet dodged, and even if I were worse off I’ve met too many strong people now for that to be an excuse to lay down and die of despair. The messaging about suicide the trans community gets away with is one of its greatest evils.
It doesn’t mean blindly jump off cliffs for fun; it means having boundaries for what you will and will not tolerate, and valuing your own humanity enough to enforce those boundaries.
The mother who's transing her son to be "girl" that I am friends with has doubled down on the persecution complex, paranoia, fears, and anxiety since Trump got elected.
The term echo chamber gets thrown around a lot, but it is apt, and the trans echo chamber is unique in having breached internet containment a long time ago. Trump’s win was the catalyst for the supernova of abject fear that has exploded into being in the minds of TRAs who actually believe the bullshit. Only time will tell how many keep up the panic levels without either completely losing their minds, or realizing it was much ado about nothing and desisting in their troonism and/or support thereof ( ).
Trannies are obviously not the only insular community whose collective community morality hit the event horizon years ago, but a confluence of factors has lead to this type of brainrot having so many more vectors than a normal cult or even mainstream religion, although one might classify it as one regardless.
IF Trump keeps promises about no longer enabling troonery, it will be an undeniable win. Kate Strangio is on course to embarrass herself even further before the Supreme Court next month and district courts have been busy saying NO to transitioning children, so honest-to-god anti-trans legislation () would be more nails in the coffin. There’s a lot of true trans believers in MSM, but journos have some idea which way the wind is blowing. I know some certainly are hung up on it, but I have personally seen zero mention of troonery as an issue of concern in election post-mortems by non-pants-pissing leftists disappointed by the election—they’re concerned about the environment, economy and women’s rights, but no “the dignity of our trans sisters and brothers” talk this time around. The smarter ones seem to have been realizing it’s a losing issue and path to nowhere and distancing themselves, and it is very, very funny.
I shouldn't, though, because that was my struggle, we earned it after a lifetime of feeling that we can never have something as simple as our relationship being legally recognized.
LGB have a responsibility to ourselves and to society to disavow troonism, but it is not our circus nor our monkeys. There is more of an argument to be made with gay men and enabling troonery (and relatedly, pedophilia), but gays do not owe trannies a goddamn thing. They are parasites so successful at cannibalizing civil rights that most young people have no idea that the acronym used to be GLB/LGB. They really believe the T was “always there”—like a tapeworm, maybe.
Good luck to everyone in this thread and lurking. It sucks seeing people you love pulled into medically sanctioned addiction and delusion. Ultimately they must be the ones to wake up—all you can do is be there, until you can’t. Fingers crossed for a reckoning sooner rather than later.
it gets exhausting trying to consistently advocating for your needs and wants as a woman, let alone your boundaries. i'm bi; but i'm not attracted to transgender people, and somehow that's 'bigoted'. it feels wrong to me. i am not attracted to them. simple as. i should not have to compromise my identity as a bisexual woman and what i am attracted to, to accommodate troonery. its so tiring.
i just want to be married some day, to someone who gets it, and will love me for me, and will stand behind my beliefs and will defend me. i don't want to have to change my identity or compromise my safety to accommodate mentally ill men in skirts. i'm so tired of having to be placid and pretend that i'm fine with dealing with them to make sick, unhappy, paedophilic men feel validated. its about time i feel safe, too.
when i was a kid, my stuff used to go missing a lot. it started with toys when i was younger, then became clothes as i became a teenager. i never thought too much about it save for being mildly annoyed, even when my favorite underwear went missing. i assumed it must have been my own fault from not being organized enough.
now, cut to many years later. i am married and living my life, unbothered by any lost items from all that time ago. my brother informs me that he is going to transition. when he is stating his case after my pushback, he tells me he used to steal my dolls when we were children. ever since that moment i have been haunted. i think he stole everything else that went missing. i don’t know how to approach this because frankly part of me doesn’t even want to know the truth, it might hurt too much and feel like too much of a violation. but here i am, sitting in the dark, still thinking about it.
We've yet to approach the transition subject, but we're already bonding over a lot of shared interests, and she was super happy that I contacted her!
And it bears repeating, being an adult in a committed relationship and doing this to someone who loves you is a selfishness beyond my comprehension. There is no love without trust, and no trust without honesty. How awful.
