Nicholas Robert Rekieta / Rekieta "Law" / Actually Criminal / @NickRekieta - Polysubstance enthusiast, "Lawtuber" turned Dabbleverse streamer, swinger, "whitebread ass nigga", snuffs animals for fun, visits 🇯🇲 BBC resorts. Legally a cuckold who lost his license to practice law. Wife's bod worth $50. The normies even know.

[LanternsNSongs]

Kayla was going after Warski's cock like a terrier after a rabbit back when Rekieta was still like a starstruck nerd while looking at Ethan Ralph and CRP. Stop white knighting that slatternly whore.

For people confused about what Nick was trying to do with his patented "Balldo Gambit" where he risked going to prison for up to 25 years just to call Aaron a cuck, you might need to know some deep lore that happened so long in the past, Rekieta Law's audience was still exclusively comprised of Dick Show fans.

Did you ever hear the tragedy of Maddox The Cuck? I thought not. It’s not a story the Kiwifarmers would tell you. It’s a sektur legend. After the very messy break up of the homosexual relationship between Dick Masterson and Maddox, their heavily intertwined businesses meant they would inevitably miss some stuff while separating, it is natural. One of the stuff Maddox missed was the iTunes feed he continued to use for his new podcast. Dick Masterson had access to this and accidentally learned that the password hadn't changed. He had access to the method by which Maddox brought food to the table.

Dick was in the same situation pretty much that Nick is in right now. Did he tell Ralph, Null or any other retard about this? No. Did he try to intimidate and threaten Maddox? Not really. He just made a 30 second ad for his stupid podcast, called Maddox a cuck and added that to the beginning of one of Maddox's episodes. The situation ended with Maddox looking stupid and no harm being done to anyone.

So if you are wondering what Nick tried to do, he tried to emulate Dick and failed miserably. Nick! No matter how big your show was, you will never be as charismatic or funny as Dick. You were not built for this lifestyle.

 

[AnOminous]

The whole "I have both a gf and a wife" thing could even be a cope to cover up and repress his true feelings about men.

Nick: I have a relationship with Kayla and sex with Aaron.
Drex: I got news for you. That means you're gay.

 

[Sneedling]

Study about the correlation between narcissism and suicidal ideation

Interesting, I thought that being in love with themselves generally lead to a lessened tendency to an hero.

 

[Smashed & Slamed]

Holy shit! No, that is NOT why Nate told you to shut the fuck up.

"Look here mister balldo. I want you to listen. I want you to shut up. I want you to stop talking about your case. I want you to stop making retarded motions. I don't care that I make money of you being a moron. I somehow would benefit from you not being a jester."
I understand more and more about pathological liars winning by attrition. The lies are so stupid, blatant and meaningless that it becomes tiresome to even call him a lying faggot.

 

[SpergioLeonne]

With what? They took his guns.

Ever see Ernest Goes to Camp?

It’s like that but on a shitload of meth. April can be his Crutchfield

Edit: there will also be a use for his cooking

 

[Desktop User2]

I don't know, I thought I "couldn't cook" even though I'd been baking since I was 12, until I was fairly old. I had a few really simple go-tos like simple stir fries, shake and bake pork chops, and so on, but a sort of phobia of cooking. It wasn't until I started watching cooking videos and the like that I realized it was actually not that hard after all.

I'm no Martha Stewart but I can now cook what I like to eat to my own satisfaction and that's all that really matters.

Everything is way more controlled in basic baking, measured, static temperatures, appliances, etc... basic cooking is way more about feel. High end patisserie is infinitely harder than high end cooking tho.

 

[AnOminous]

Nick doesn't seem to grasp that people without trust funds must also worry about earning a livelihood once their legal troubles are behind them. Salvaging your career is a valid consideration normal people have when forming a plan to deal with very serious criminal charges.

Nick is an absolute idiot. Instead of paying attention to lawyers talking sense, he deliberately picked a retarded Barneswalker who would go along with his own absolutely addle-pated cokehead strategy, with results everyone told him in advance, to which he pulled this kind of shit:

We all saw how that turned out.

If he had just gone for a deal the instant the Franks shit went up in smoke, it would probably have been just to the drugs, it would probably have been at most a suspended sentence, and the bar consequences would likely have been no more than a temporary suspension until he got his shit together and did a real rehab. The absolute worst restriction might have been having to practice under the temporary supervision of another lawyer for a probationary period, which sometimes even ends up being a lawyer's literal AA sponsor. I assume Minnesota has AA branches specifically for lawyers, at least in larger city areas.

Of course, Balldo is far too arrogant for this.

Even though his own absolutely moronic strategy is fucking him over repeatedly, he's too dumb to face facts.

 

[Illuminati Order Official]

"God I hope everyone that watched or saved my streams is dumber than me, including any law enforcement or attorneys general or judges"

"Oh no! I must ignore the evidence I have, otherwise a fat retarded pedophile will think I'm dumb", said no cop or prosecutor ever.

 

[Not Who You Think]

Yeah, this is what I’m talking about.

Drex talks a lot. He’s like that guy who always talks about going to Japan, and got the itinerary all planned out. He’s totally going, trust bro.

Spoiler: He never actually goes there.

Drex shoots off some off hand remark about “his plan” for Nick’s kids, a plan that Nick never even thought to mention to his wife, since he knows it’s all just fluff for the stream. But to a handful of kiwis it’s some kind of proof of a complex Drex industrial grooming scheme or something.

Confused. Are you sincerely using an allegation of him being "that guy who always talks about going to Japan" as reasoning why Drexel isn't a groomer?

Drexel does talk a lot and tends to exaggerate (especially about the quality of women he gets), but there is evidence of grooming in his past in addition to his own admissions. We even have Taylor's profile for a BDSM website (Fetlife).

When it comes to anyone with any kind of sexual intentions regarding children (including grooming), one is inclined to take it very seriously. Drexel is a creep who could do what he did with Taylor because he knew her at a young age. Nick was even sympathetic to the idea and held to Drexel's talking points on the matter. You don't have to agree, but give the Drexel OP a glance when you have the time (particularly the section on Women of Value and Grooming Allegations and Evidence sections in addition to his general avoidance of the legal system).

For anyone who wonders how Nick can be so comfortable working alongside someone like Patrick Melton, Nick has been surrounding himself with perverted creeps with concerning views on kids and sexuality for a long time (as if getting his start with Juju wasn't a big enough hint). Honestly, Nick using people more degenerate than he appeared to be as camouflage had served him well.

 

[Procrastinhater]

He's basically just Tommy wisaeus character in the room now

Evahry body behtray me! Ahm fed ahp with this worll!

Anyway, how is your sex life?

No matter how big your show was, you will never be as charismatic or funny as Dick. You were not built for this lifestyle.

I cannot think of a more devastating condemnation - "no matter what you do you will never be as charismatic or funny as Dick Masterson (Dax Herrera, JuJu the Cow, a man who likes to get fucked in the ass while dressed as a cow)."
Thats fucking harsh.
I would fellate a 12 gauge.

 

[Himedall All-seeing Waifu]

Turning and turning in the widening gyre
The falcon cannot hear the falconer;
Things fall apart; the centre cannot hold;
Mere anarchy is loosed upon the world,
The blood-dimmed tide is loosed, and everywhere
The ceremony of innocence is drowned;
The best lack all conviction, while the worst
Are full of passionate intensity

He could have been writing about Balldo. The blood-dimmed tide of vaginal bleeding, the ceremony of innnocence drowned in whiskey. The intensity is chemically-assisted but I’ll give it to him

What rough trade minces toward his kitchen to stream?

I LOVE Yeats!

I did a Sektur parody in this or the Weeb Wars thread of the whole poem.

Nick replying to a practicing lawyer who just won a defamation case

Link/Archive
View attachment 6640691

Nick won’t stop until he’s alienated and made unnecessary enemies out of everyone he’s ever known.

He’s just a fucking brat.

When Nick popped into Eric Hunley's chat to shittalk Nate and Eric gave Nick the link to come in, Ron made a comment "lets get Nick in here and straighten him out." Bet that got under his thin skin. Can think of no other reason for him to start shit with Ron.

Oh boy. He's in bratty comedian mode and the night just started for him. The xeets will commence.

So what nick is saying is that a literal retard has more worth than him, as he has actually won an appeal whereas rekieta has only ever failed miserably.

He still has almost another hour to kill before his 2AM dinner prep and dog feed.

This is a joke reference. The first time Nick became aware of Ron Coleman, it was in reading one of his briefs on the show, and it was riddled with typographical errors. Nick poked fun at it on the show because of the numerous nature, and said soemthing like 'a phone on autocorrect would draft a better brief'.

When Ron finally came on the show years later, Nick's prior comments came up, and they had a laugh over it.

 

[Tablet County]

He's basically just Tommy wisaeus character in the room now

Not so. Johnny from The Room was actually a nice guy (laughing at stories of women being hospitalized notwithstanding) who didn't wilfully enter a cuckold relationship and tried to steer his young friend Denny away from getting into drugs.

 

[Illuminati Order Official]

He knows the moment he changes that account name to something like "Nick Rekieta" or opens a new account, he will admit that he is just a retarded junkie that cannot legally practice law in Minnesota now.

Let's be more creative with the brand names, to make it more appealing:
Rekieta Cooking Slop
Rekieta Swinging and Cuckoldry
Rekieta Worst Comedy Ever
Rekieta Drinking and Sniffing

 

[John Andrews Stan]

No matter how big your show was, you will never be as charismatic or funny as Dick.

Dax Herrera is only funny or charismatic to incels and closeted fags. I suspect you’re both.

 

[Tablet County]

Dax Herrera is only funny or charismatic to incels and closeted fags. I suspect you’re both.

And even so, Nick will never achieve Dax's middling level of humor or used car salesman charisma.

 

[Folgers Can]

Is it actually true that he couldn't file for dismissal of the child endangerment charge yet?
Archive

For starters he doesn't deserve the title of "non-practicing lawyer" after that and really needs to be demoted to "never-lawyer" if he's terminally retarded enough to even dignify the wording of that tweet's question with response because, if he had ever been a real lawyer for any fleeting nanosecond in a past life, then the framing of the question would immediately remind him for the umpteenth time that the kid's test result - whether accurate or not - is not even an essential element of the gross misdemeanor iteration of the offense for which he stands charged:

609.378 NEGLECT OR ENDANGERMENT OF CHILD.
Subdivision 1. Persons guilty of neglect or endangerment. ...
(b) A parent, legal guardian, or caretaker who endangers the child's person or health by:
(2) knowingly causing or permitting the child to be present where any person is... possessing a controlled substance... is guilty of child endangerment and may be sentenced to imprisonment for not more than 364 days or to payment of a fine of not more than $3,000, or both.
If the endangerment results in substantial harm to the child's physical, mental, or emotional health, the person may be sentenced to imprisonment for not more than five years or to payment of a fine of not more than $10,000, or both.

If he had ever been a real lawyer enough to remember what it was once like, then he would look at the screenshot in that very tweet saying "Gross Misdemeanor" on its face, correlate that to the fact that a gross misdemeanor is defined in Minnesota by being punishable by less than 365 days in jail whereas a felony is defined in Minnesota by being punishable by 365 days or more in prison, and thereby infer that he is not even charged for the felony iteration of Section 609.378(1)(b)(2) in the bottom paragraph that would have, if charged, made validity of the hair test highly relevant to the state proving that non-charged offense's essential element of substantial harm to the daughter's health. Because the state instead opted for the gross misdemeanor iteration of Section 609.378(1)(b)(2), they only need to show that any one of the five children was present where the cocaine was possessed, and the hair test is simply not essential or necessary, barely even relevant if used, and probably not even going to be brought up by the state at all.

Maybe, maybe he could end up having some luck arguing that even the gross misdemeanor's bare presence element is lacking because all three defense witnesses will surely swear on a stack of bibles that the cocaine and paraphernalia were only ever in the bedroom which was always locked 24/7 with no kids ever setting foot in it, but that is a matter of trial testimony's credibility for the jury to decide and not fodder for a motion to dismiss for lack of probable cause, which Wentzell already found him to have waived anyway.

To answer your question about the timing in particular, a generous interpretation could be that Nick's tweet may have had in mind a Motion for Judgment of Acquittal (the local equivalent of a directed verdict) and/or a Motion for a New Trial later on based on insufficient evidence of an essential element of the offense shown in the state's case-in-chief at trial, and his waiting for that critical juncture would be in line with his current legal team's usual Ty-Beard-esque strategy of filing anything and everything at the absolute last minute in hopes that the element of surprise can take advantage of the state's limited ability to meaningfully respond. Even so, that still doesn't change what leaps and bounds beyond retarded it is for him to still seriously entertain that tweet's premise that throwing out the hair test would have any effect on the offense for which he is actually charged. But nobody tell him that, because it would be funnier to sit back and watch him dive headlong into the gaping maw of DENIED DENIED DENIED with such a motion on those "if the metabolites don't fit you must acquit" grounds:

Nicholas Robert Rekieta: Never-Lawyer.

 

[Daddy's Angry Juice]

Let's be more creative with the brand names, to make it more appealing:
Rekieta Cooking Slop
Rekieta Swinging and Cuckoldry
Rekieta Worst Comedy Ever
Rekieta Drinking and Sniffing

I'm gonna take inspiration from DSP and go with something like "Poorly Cucking with the Pope"

 

[LanternsNSongs]

Dax Herrera is only funny or charismatic to incels and closeted fags. I suspect you’re both.

Ex-Rekieta fans can't condemn me about the people I used to listen to. You used to like a guy who looked UP to Dick, considering how low Rekieta is, I want to ask you, how's life on Mariana Trench?

 

[AnOminous]

Because the state instead opted for the gross misdemeanor iteration of Section 609.378(b)(2), they only need to show that any one of the five children was present where the cocaine was possessed, and the hair test is simply not essential or necessary, barely even relevant if used, and probably not even going to be brought up by the state at all.

They might not at the guilt determination stage, but it's probably relevant to sentencing.

 

[RodgerDodger]

Is Nick a spoiled rich white girl trapped in a goofy Jew's body or is he a self-hating, repressed faggot trust fund baby that never matured past 13?

Reading the thread makes me feel as if either is a decent possibility.

We wont know for sure until he troons out. Which is coming. This level of degeneracy always ends in troons.