Orbiter "Flutter" / "Egg" / "Cabbage Patch" / "Meryl" / "Food Lion lady" - Modern Christory's biggest mystery

[Dicksmash Turbofist]

Where do I bet whether or not the child is the anti-christ?

 

[Conspiracy Mawile]

The seed of the prophet shall sit the throne and drown in flames the mountains of CWCville.

 

[SweetWhosBeenGroundUp]

This is absolutely a dimensional merge-style non-real child, surely.

 

[Lurker]

I'm actually in fucking shock. There's just no way. This can't be real. If it is real, if it actually fucking happened, if this is the timeline we're here to witness, I don't think we'll be able to top this year, ever. I've said it before, but I'll say it again: we've literally never had a year as eventful, productive, and fruitful as this one.

none of us imagined him topping the barbussy (kek)

look how far OPL has come (kek)

 

[Judge Holden]

you might wanna hurry, i don't know when you believe a soul enters a child's body, but assuming it's upon conception, you'd be late

Yeah I think the Pro Life argument has decidedly fucking lost as of today.

Not just for unborn fetuses, but for humanity in general.

Kill me.

 

[CBX7BANXA8NQM]

Yep, and I expect my baby dragon by spring.

bend over

 

[Phalanges Mycologist]

I just said yesterday that this was technically possible.

But PLEASE don't let this really be a thing, I don't care about Chris, I don't care about flutter - I do care of any potential Child. This really really should not be happening.

 

[Jacknife]

Let us just look at what we know here

-Chris is a fat retard with gunted sperm
-Summer is still a while away, probability for a natural abortion is still high
-Chris is so delusional that he believes deities are talking to him, this might just be a delusion of him

Could still be true, but might also just evaporate

 

[The Lawgiver]

Like right before seeing this shit featured I was thinking "Gee I kinda wonder what chris is up to I haven't checked in for a while, guess he's still caden's cash cow drug mule"
I did not expect anything like this!

Chris expects a child this summer.

THE MERGE IS ON!!!!

 

[YHWH's Strongest Soldier]

This. His diet, lifestyle, age and overall health couldn't have left him very fertile to begin with, either.

It's Immaculate Conception.

 

[NerdShamer]

what would their parenting style be like?

Probably be incredibly permissive to the point where the kid will be taken away. Kind of depends on who the mom is, because while Chris is...Chris; nothing is stopping his girlfriend from just running off and lying about certain things

Kid's going to be fucked in the head, if he stays with him

 

[Morshu's Paradise]

If Chris can breed you have no excuse!

INCELS YOU HAVE NO EXCUSE ANYMORE
If Chris is going to have kids, so can you...

no. fucking. way. it can't be fucking real. am I having a nightmare? Crystal Weston Chandler is coming?

If real, Chris is the ultimate inspiration. If 42-year old intellectually disabled schizoid motherfucker can make a woman pregnant in a consensual way, any incel can.

Listen here bucko I want 10 paternity tests plus 4k footage of birth done from 4 different angles to believe that this is fucking real.

Also lol at all poltards who screech about I CANT BREED i wanna see their explanations, mental gymnastics and excuses for this

Here's the thing: Chris is an internet CELEBRITY. Yeah he's a "lolcow" but he's so mainstream he's just a wholesome funny trans queen now. Chris Chan finding a woman willing to hear his child is crazy when you look at his past, but his present? Not really any more surprising than any other celebrity of below-average appearance finding a partner.
Edit: ok, it's not really accurate to say people think he's just a wholesome tranny now, ppl generally dislike him. His celebrity still exposed to far, far, more people than 99% of incels ever would be.

 

[AMHOLIO]

So if he has a girl it would be named Crystal, but what if it comes out a boy? Also Crystal, and then claim the baby is trans?

 

[Lurker]

So if he has a girl it would be named Crystal, but what if it comes out a boy? Also Crystal, and then claim the baby is trans?

magi-chan sonichu, the whole-ass name

 

[ChadBrazilian]

I instinctively did the sign of the cross, when I saw this feature.

 

[Metatron]

Yes the birth of Crystal will forever doom this earth. Accelerationism zap to the extreme.

 

[thhrang]

Some people say that Chris is the most documented man in human history, now this is going to continue applying onwards down for the entire future of his lineage. Geno Samuel's descendants will take part in the family trade of regurgitating the CWCki in documentary form on the latest Chandler heir's antics from now until the end of Kali Yuga.

 

[Quantum Diabetes]

Here’s an artist concept of the demon baby spawn.

 

[Harambe]

If this is true

all manosphere shit about women’s preferences, all the shit about alphas and betas and gammas and simping and incels and volcels is conclusively shown to not matter

Anyone can get a white woman pregnant, there is no floor of attractiveness below which you can’t get laid, and no kind of man who some woman somewhere can’t find attractive

 

[COME ON OUT YOU RAPIST]

Some people say that Chris is the most documented man in human history, now this is going to continue applying onwards down for the entire future of his lineage.

I want the child to be totally normal and not tortured by Chris, his mother (we don't know if she's bad or not) or internet weens.