Orbiter "Flutter" / "Egg" / "Cabbage Patch" / "Meryl" / "Food Lion lady" - Modern Christory's biggest mystery

[Awssum Possum]

I for one would welcome the arrival of a new Lolcow. I hope Chris homeschools him/her and gives them unlimited access to the internet. I hope the kid grows up thinking the merge and C-197 and Cwcville are real things, and that their father is Jesus Christ. I hope the kid grows up to rape Chris in his old age and brags about it on their TikTok.

 

[Hellbound Hellhound]

Chris is like 45 years old now, you're supposed to do that in your late teens/early 20s. I'd say 30 is the absolute latest you can have kids and not be a total fuckup.

Yeah, if this is true, he did it. 20 years too late. Like the spastic retard in a wheelchair being wheeled past the finish line by the special education teacher long after everyone who's not a retard already finished but I guess technically he "made it".

You have a very warped view of what is normal if you think that people becoming parents in their late teens is typical; even more so if you think that the outcomes for children born to parents that young are positive (spoiler: teen pregnancy is mostly associated with welfare recipients, drug addicts, and first-generation immigrants from backward hellholes).

Chris's age should be the least of our concerns, genetically speaking. A much more crucial question is what kind of sperm could be capable of withstanding the collective onslaught of HRT, a lifetime of fast food and sedentary living, and the combined developmental disorders of Chris and his cabbage patch concubine, only to still manage to successfully fertilize an egg and give rise to new life?

Could we be about to enter a brave new world where Chris Chan has somehow been selected by nature to father the ultimate Übermensch, or are we instead about to be greeted with a genetic abomination the likes of which the world has neither seen nor could ever comprehend? Whatever happens, interesting times are ahead.

 

[Insulin reid]

So do we think the child will die some dumb avoidable death first or is chris gonna start soul bonding with his child?

Real chicken or egg question here.

 

[Johnny wrightfull]

So do we think the child will die some dumb avoidable death first or is chris gonna start soul bonding with his child?

Real chicken or egg question here.

Let's be honest the baby gonna end up being a Tyrone JR lmao

 

[Cemetery Support]

This is the only correct take based on watching the clip, anything else is moutbreathing YT-tier retardation for zoomers with only the most Tangential understanding of Chris.

Retards have babies all the time. Its fucked up but it happens. Hope he doesn't have a daughter, lol

 

[TheLastJoestar]

Son of Chris Chan.

Has the dark prophecy been fulfilled?
It's either going to be some male Chris name or Crystal for a female making them a new Crys Chan

This nigga may well have just made an IRL version of the cursed Joestar bloodline. His progeny will go on many horrid adventures, but that's a story for another time. See you faggots in Part 2.

 

[Kwopsie Peepsie]

 

[FlyingBull]

Guys...
Idk how to tell you this...
I was just talking with a few of my buddies about stream highlights, to have them added to the CWCki, and I saw Net Narcolepsy added some already...
And...uhhh
Here, have this clip.
View attachment 6680187
I have no idea where this question even came from or what Chris is talking about, but...

Chris expects a child this summer.

What the fuck i was joking.

 

[Zeus Blue Thunder]

Caden disowned Chris, holy shit.

No, but what the fuck does he mean by "closed due to miscommunication"?
Did we cause it?

Links: Twitter, Bluesky.

 

[Marty Robbins]

I knew she looked familiar

 

[Queequeg]

That kid will absolutely kill themselves after they find the farms

 

[Marty Robbins]

That kid will absolutely kill themselves after they find the farms

If Chris was your dad reading the CWCki would probably be the most horrific thing one could experience

 

[Mr. Racewar1488]

Caden disowned Chris, holy shit.
View attachment 6686577
No, but what the fuck does he mean by "closed due to miscommunication"?
Did we cause it?

Links: Twitter, Bluesky.

Chris-chan isn't bringing in the money like he used to and now with this pregnancy shit he's probably done with him. Or he's found another way to launder his drug money that doesn't involve making a literal motherfuckering autist make shitty amulets and streaming Minecraft once every two months.

 

[Tragi-Chan]

Nothing surprises me anymore with this guy.

 

[Spacecatroix]

That kid will absolutely kill themselves after they find the farms

Can you imagine finding a family member or a friend of yours having a thread on the Farms? I honestly don't know how to respond to something like that.

 

[Tetragrammaton]

what are the odds the baby does not actually belong to chris and is actually cadens or some other unknown party and this is just part of a plan to milk chris of even more money combined with whatever tugboat the kid would get.

 

[Frogget-me-not]

Highly doubt that Chris managed to put his bent duck into her hoo-hah so this has to be a misunderstanding

If we get confirmation of Flutter having a kid then I’m convinced we have the immaculate fucking conception of the Anti-Christ (or a cuck baby, more likely)

 

[ModelCitizen]

Is 2050, Chris has died due to bug bites and Chris Jr. is about to seize the opportunity and fuck Flutter.

 

[Taser Confetti]

Is 2050, Chris has died due to bug bites and Chris Jr. is about to seize the opportunity and fuck Flutter.

 

[King Metalia]

Highly doubt that Chris managed to put his bent duck into her hoo-hah so this has to be a misunderstanding

If we get confirmation of Flutter having a kid then I’m convinced we have the immaculate fucking conception of the Anti-Christ (or a cuck baby, more likely)

Best case scenario is Chris got cucked by a Pickle Man again.