Ethan Ralph, Fugitive from Justice

[BlueArmedDevil]

Nothing says Vagrant to the court like multiple addresses in two states.

So when are images of corn hitting those fax numbers?

 

[FamicomGorby]

Lmao
View attachment 6690028

Blatantly disrespecting the court by saying you're too busy for them is a great strategy.

Also how many faxes of pictures of corn need to be sent now before they cut off his service?

 

[Heavy Rainfall2]

Thinking about it, the Minnesota trip was an absolute disaster for Ralph. At least with the Bowling or Wrassle wrassle trips, he could say he at least had fun/got drunk/got high. Ralph got nothing out of this, save a shitty interview with Nick that even his few remaining fans hated.
>got made to look like a bitch by the cuckold Aaron
>couldn't party with Nick as this was post arrest
>the omnibussin was pretty boring and there were plenty of kiwis there anyway
>had to deny the name his daddy gave him
>had to travel to a town in the middle of nowhere with fuck all to do for him
>now banned from America and has to beg the judge to even consider coming back

An absolute feltening. Honest advice Gunty, you're really getting fuck all by Balldo guarding. It's probably too late to flip but goddamn that was a bad decision.

 

[SaidNoOneEver]

Ending that sentence with a fucking etc. is the best part, a true wordsmith, his book will be amazing.
View attachment 6690116

Oh no asking the judge to call him back at a Mexican fax number is the best part. Maybe the funniest thing I've ever seen. Still struggling to believe this is an actual letter from a former prominent thinker to a judge.

 

[Friend of Dorothy Parker]

Oh no asking the judge to call him back at a Mexican fax number is the best part. Maybe the funniest thing I've ever seen. Still struggling to believe this is an actual letter from a former prominent thinker to a judge.

I hope for your sake you never believed this.

 

[SaidNoOneEver]

I hope for your sake you never believed this.

As far as the Internet Bloodsports sektur went he was.

 

[Friend of Dorothy Parker]

As far as the Internet Bloodsports sektur went he was.

Huh. Didn't really expect a double-down on that.

 

[AncientPhosphur]

Ah sorrah ya honah! First ah did nawt hear yew say ah couldn’t stream! Call me so we can work out an agreement! Ah luv muh kid and it’s Christmas time actually!



What is this retard thinking? The judge just going to be so understanding? Why do you think he issued a nation wide arrest warrant? You’re just flaunting your disrespect for the court even more.

 

[BathTubShine]

Suffah Ragepig!
I hope the Minnesota trip to "felt" Cuckholte was worth it.

 

[30+GameOvers]

In his eyes, the pig offered the olive branch. The a-log judge is going to get a hollering when he gets arrested and forcibly appears in court, just like Chris Chan did. Hopefully he gets even more contempt prison time from this.
This is Portugal 3.0, except he's getting more than a black eye this time, lmao

 

[MadStan]

It would be a CRYING SHAME if Ethan got CHARGED FOR EACH AND EVERY FAX sent to that number. Cryin shame

 

[Scout Trooper]

Ralph, you forgot some numbers you can receive faxes at.
+19014249029
901-424-9029
1-901-424-9029

Also, don't forget His Honor might be attempting to call via the office phone system, so he needs an outside line:
9-1-901-424-9029
9-901-424-9029

Finally, His Honor probably needs more history and explanation of just how and why you got each of these numbers. What were you feeling at the time? What were your hopes and fears when you registered this fax number?

 

[Lidl Drip]

Yaw awnuhr, ya might have heard of me, famous host of dah KEELSTREAM Ethan Ralph. Ah am writing to yew today to hash things out, yew and me, mano a mano if yaknow wat ahm sayin. Ah would appreciate if yew called into da Keelstream, ah can fit yew in right after Richard Spencer. Ah can jus essplain this missunnastandin, it all started with Jawsh Moon and his broken penis threatening mah life if yew wanna know da truth about it. Just send me ah DM on Twitter at @TheRalphRetort.

Yours, Rad Roberts

PS: if yew cud forward me da phone numba of Judge pussy liquor ah would be much awbliged

 

[Obscura539]

Ralph’s attempt at pleasantries is sad. Also, he is inadvertently doubling down on the contempt.



Yeah, I am fully aware of the warrant you issued. Can you get rid of it? It’s inconveniencing me. I have two cats. I’m sure you’re well aware how difficult it is to plan around a unique situation like that. I’m totally ready to face my consequences, but they have to be wholly on my terms. It’s also preventing me from visiting my kid which I use to spite my other kid. Although, the cat situation doesn’t apply then for some reason. It is also the holiday season, so like keep that in mind.

Thanks.

 

[AltisticRight]

This reads like a pathetic diary entry of a middle school child. Who knew these arrest warrants are meant to make you SUFFAH.

>cats
Did that stop you from waddling around the courthouse harassing people and illegally broadcasting a hearing?

 

[MadStan]

You yah Honnah Nigga - but not in that order. You all help out a brother my man? I got this bitch and yo she don’t put out no more but she spat one out (know what I’m saying?) I gotta see it now again to keep up appearances for mah kill stream(who yous all outta check out my man). He bro I’m gonna hang with yous all on that bullshit charge some time but right now you all mind quashing this bullshit washing? Know you gonna help a Brutha out at this time of the year when we celebrate frying chicken cause dem pilgrims ate all them turkeys. Ma word is my bond (cause I got no money).

Got a blanket for you, too bitch!

 

[Mr. Manchester]

This reads like a pathetic diary entry of a middle school child. Who knew these arrest warrants are meant to make you SUFFAH.

>cats
Did that stop you from waddling around the courthouse harassing people and illegally broadcasting a hearing?

Middle school is pretty generous. I feel like it should be written in crayon.

 

[Room Temp Shrimp]

Holy shit. Is he really holding out hope for this to work? COULD it possibly even work, legally, for a judge to rescind a countrywide warrant based off whatever the fuck this is?

 

[Pizdec]

Ending that sentence with a fucking etc. is the best part, a true wordsmith, his book will be amazing.
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Yeah, the judgement is called jail, fat fuck. The warrent remains valid. *gavel.mp3*

Nothing says Vagrant to the court like multiple addresses in two states.

So when are images of corn hitting those fax numbers?

Uhhhhh let's not? They could be owned by actual businesses and, for the sake of politeness, don't? Even if it means fucking with Ralph.

 

[porkWellington]

"Yessir Mister Ralph we're gonna reroute your arrest warrant and apply it to the Kino Casino instead. Happy Thanksgiving King!"