Orbiter "Flutter" / "Egg" / "Cabbage Patch" / "Meryl" / "Food Lion lady" - Modern Christory's biggest mystery

[IAmNotAlpharius]

This is a troll.
Pretty much a no life, back in 2009 he posted many of the troll leaked photos with "funny" captions, like the mom underwear pics.
Chris's actual facebook is CwcvilleGuardian.

Ah I don’t use it much and wasn’t aware. Thanks for the info.

 

[SigueSigueSpergnik]

Yeah.
I never expected the thread would get so big and I am glad to have been proven wrong by Chris himself, but since this reached the level it has and Google Trends show Finns are peaking Chris Chan searches now, I hope we can at least get more info about her. It'd make it all worth it.
Hey, at least we got an April sighting, that's still something.

Carpetbagging even when no money is involved is still carpetbagging, son.

 

[Daddy's Little Kitten]

I can sleep better tonight!

 

[Argh My Cigar]

Chris just posted the pregnancy isn’t true

View attachment 6692686

Spoiler: Original Tweet

https://x.com/cpu_cwcsonichu/status/1861773911693652010?s=46

Spoiler: Archive

https://archive.ph/SK4gv

Tweet seems way too lucid and self-aware. Did Caden put him up to this? Rumor or not, you'd think Praetor would ride this out just to get some profit on "internet breaking" Chris content.

 

[Black Spruce]

Chris just posted the pregnancy isn’t true

On one hand. Relief that no child has to go through having his DNA and being raised by him. On the other hand, this makes the world less entertaining. Obviously it's better this way. But damn. Imagine the trainwreck we could have witnessed.

 

[ChampFantana]

Bullet: DODGED!

I would have laughed my ass off if it was real, but that kid woulda been the twin of Wilbur Whatley.

 

[Orkeosaurus]

I propose that he told the truth. He had no reason to be so specific using very clear terms. If he keeps his mouth shut we won't know. He has no intentions to assume responsibility for the child and he realized very quickly that admitting it is just a big headache for him.

It wouldn't be the first harmful truth he's walked back.

 

[ǴǞRFǁǮLD]

View attachment 6692687

https://archive.md/IbYlW

archive your shit

Good! unwanted sequels tend to suck.

 

[Slippin Kimmy]

It's a thanksgiving miracle

 

[BobJones997]

Posting this for all of you in the back of the class who fell for this and believed that Chris was actually going to be a parent...

Honestly, with Chris's Jesus LARP boring everyone to tears, I'm almost willing to bet that the person who asked the pregnancy question during the stream was a Praetor plant and that it was nothing more than a pathetic ruse to generate interest in Chris again so they can sell more of his garbage. His garbage sales are most likely at an all time low and they needed a big "controversy" to generate interest in him again so that people will buy his junk.

 

[Diesel Card]

Carpetbagging even when no money is involved is still carpetbagging, son.

Thank you for calling out Xela/Zeus for his bullshit

 

[Punished Puck]

not today satan baby

 

[Dicksmash Turbofist]

Armageddon has been averted, thank God.

 

[JT Marlin]

THANK FUCKING LORD
THE WORLD IS SAVED
WE CAN NOW LIVE IN PEACE

Bless the unholy trinity of being old, being obese and HRT.

 

[Rome's rightful successor]

That's sad, hopefully another day he will produce a heir and we will have King Chris II.

 

[YouTube Autist]

Soon... soon...

 

[KeatonKoopa]

Chris would have made the worst father I doubt he knows how to care for a baby.

 

[Seedling]

Even if he was bullshitting the sheer mass panic it caused was pretty fucking funny
Can't wait for the next Chris scare

 

[Scarlett Johansson]

Oh my god an actually informative post from Chris

 

[National Defense Advocate]

I hereby retract my statement on women being retarded enough to bear Chris Spawn, it appears for the moment, no woman would ever do such an evil thing.