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- Feb 19, 2020
/horror/ general megathread - Let's talk about movies and shit.
- Thread starter Internet War Criminal
- Start date
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- Apr 22, 2015
NAUGHTY!
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- Oct 3, 2018
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- Jan 30, 2018
No, not yet. I usually wait for TV seasons to finish and then binge them over the weekend, and this has one more episode next week. Looks like it's getting pretty mixed reviews, though even the positive ones basically just say it's more of the same as the movies, so I guess if you really liked Creep 1 & 2 you'd probably like the show.
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- May 4, 2022
I really hope the show doesn't screw up the Creep Cinematic Universe. If this show is supposed to be canon, they better not retcon any of the Creep lore.
- Joined
- Jan 30, 2018
I finally saw Terrifier 3. I liked it a lot, the kills and practical effects being particularly good. I did think the final act started abruptly; I thought for sure it was a dream but then it just kept going. Definitely liked it more than the second film, which I thought was meandering, especially due to those overly long and self-indulgent dream / hallucination sequences. First Terrifier is still my favorite, mostly since it's largely a fairly straight-forward, albeit weird, slasher.
The goofy lore is probably the worst part of these movies, which the upcoming fourth one seems like it'll be going full speed into.
The goofy lore is probably the worst part of these movies, which the upcoming fourth one seems like it'll be going full speed into.
(((I am NOT a jew)))
kiwifarms.net
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- Dec 14, 2022
Perfect comment.
Anyone have thoughts on the Suspiria remake? I've sworn off watching just because I love the original so much and it's it's own unique thing that shouldn't have ever had a remake but I hear it's pretty good.
I'm not averse to remakes, I tend to like a lot of them, but in this case I just would've preferred they call it something else if it's doing it's own thing. And the directing style just looks a little too... intentionally arthouse for me? The original was obviously artsy but it was more in the classic italian horror way where it just was visually beautiful to watch. The 2018 just has this dry A24 look that throws me off.
So does anyone have a seal of approval for it or a yay/nay?
Speaking of remakes, anyone here have a favorite horror remake not from the 80s'?
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- Jan 27, 2024
I'll probably end up getting shit for this but the fright night remake was much better imo. Well I guess it is from the 80s so doesn't count
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kiwifarms.net
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- Dec 14, 2022
I'm talking about remakes that aren't from the 80s. Like 2000s wave of horror remakes. The originals can be from the 80s.
And I never gave Fright Night remake a watch. The original isn't an all-time favorite of mine but I think it's a lot of fun and just seeing Collin Farrell pop in it around the time stuff like Twilight and pretty boy vampires were hitting the mainstream really took me off. My friend's favorite vampire film is the original and he recommended the remake so I might have to give it a shot.
While we're at it. Honestly Fright Night Part 2 has no right to be as fun as it is. Jerry's new girlfriend in the second one has a lot more chemistry with him than his original and overall it's just a really fun movie. Seeing it on a decent bootleg bluray helps a lot with seeing it's production quality, too. I swore it off for a while but I really enjoy it as much as the first one.
I just watched that a couple nights ago. Overall... it was decent.
I must be in different circles from you because I've seen almost nothing but high praise for the thing. The practical effects work is amazing. But I don't know. It kind of has the problem most modern horror has for me where I just couldn't give a shit.
I know it's the directors' tribute to John Carpenter, especially Price of Darkness. But I feel like the characters and acting are what really carry a lot of Carpenters' best and this film I just couldn't give a shit about anyone.
Not awful. I liked it way more than The Editor, also by the same crew. But I'd say it's a 6. For some odd reason I do want to rewatch it again soon, if only to get a better handle on it and see if it grows on me. Not too many films do that for me anymore.
Also it was an example of how you can easily do cosmic horror if you get the right team. Even if it wasn't great, it at least elicited a Lovecraft vibe. Don't get why people think it would be too hard for Hollywood to make a proper Lovecraft adaption when we've had at least a half dozen great ones in the past from people with half the budget.
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PS1gamenwatch
kiwifarms.net
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- Oct 26, 2015
I think the problem is the way each story is structured, and they have no happy endings. That was one of the reasons Del Toro's Mountains of Madness kept getting delayed because the studios wanted to give the main character a love interest and hated the depressing ending. Oh and Prometheus put the kibosh on that too.
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kiwifarms.net
- Joined
- Dec 14, 2022
I don't buy that when The Mist exists. And it's horror. I'd say horror has a downbad ending more times than now.
I think the problem is faggots have effectively killed the definition of cosmic horror. Fighting cthulhu in Pathfinder or just any alien existing in a story now counts as "cosmic horror" to zoomers. When in reality it's more vibe based. Funny enough Fulci was one of the guys who did Lovecraft better than most even when he wasn't trying to.
On another note, I watched Pontypool recently and actually liked it a lot. It leans a little heavily into IFC/navel gazing indie pretentious territory towards the end but it was an earlier example of """"elevated horror"""" not making me want to eat a bullet, mostly because the cast is just really good.
- Joined
- Feb 12, 2013
Finally closing the distance to my now long looked forward to rewatch of Zombi 2 to finish off the Zombi extended series rundown, now I finally get my first taste of that juicy shaq meat with Zombi 3: Zombie Holocaust, aka Doctor Butcher MD
Premise: Members of an expedition in the East Indies encounter not only the cannibals they were looking for, but also an evil scientist and his zombie army.
This movie has been on my radar a longass while for a variety of reasons but due to widespread "this is shit and also boring" consensus I kept putting it off....which given the other entries/"entries" in the Zombi franchise I have looked over is probably something I should have kept doing. I am however looking forward to seeing how much of the Zombi 2 sets and shit I recognise given how the movie is notable for reusing a bunch of assets from it.
Also that trailer narration is fucking glorious.
Execution: We start out in a hospital at night where a well dressed doctor moseys on in to the mortuary to casually cut the hand off a corpse before fucking off. Next day during an autopsy some no name doctors notice this while the movie inserts cuts that might be decentish gore, or might be grainy footage of an actual autopsy given the editing. One of the students watching cracks a joke about the missing hand causing the Head Doctor to chimp out and throw them all out, before expounding to his assistance how there is some sickfuck deviant stealing body parts that he doesnt want to report to the cops to protect the hospital's brand, and we get some clunky "are we different from savages dialogue?" before the scene ends and we cut to a blonde surgeon and middle aged professor in their car, further expositing about the mischievous corpse defiler and speculating if its just some frat prank gone wrong (gone sexual) or whatever.
Back in the hospital and a nurse casually walks over a giant pool of blood next to another corpse, and uncovering it reveals its chest entirely rips open, and we get a hilariously badly edited/dubbed moment of her screaming in horror before she even opens her mouth. Head Doctor orders the corpse and the fact it had its heart ripped out covered up because....next scene Blonde Surgeon arrives home as scuffed porn music starts to play, meaning I am getting my first serving of low definition late 70s italian nudity in a frankly horrifying example of 70s room design....or not, she just strips to her underwear and starts walking around her house which is full of random fucking statues and urns and shit. She checks out her fridge which a scare cord reveals to have a big suspicious bag of meat inside, only for a Journalist Lady to arrive snooping around about the creeper at the hospital, and the two bitch at eachother for a few minutes while expositing about random shit long enough for Blonde Surgeon's "magic human sacrifice knife" ornament to be mentioned before the scene ends. The creeper is back cutting up corpses, this time cutting out a heart trying to eat it there, and we see its a mexican looking orderly seen earlier when Head Doctor jumps out, revealing this to be a setup. He jumps out a convenient window, and we see the stunt dummy's arm break off when it hits the bottom, and before he dies he randomly says a word and is revealed to have an evil tattoo/brand which matches that on the magical sacrifice knife from earlier.
Next day Blonde Surgeon and Head Doctor go to meet Ian McCulloch from Zombi 2 who uses advanced racism to identify where the creeper came from, revealing a bunch of filthy disgusting and lazy asiatic indonesians have been pulling shit like this all over the country, and also uses advanced aryan flirting to instantly seduce Blonde Surgeon on the spot. A literal slide show of gore later and Blonde Surgeon realises this is connected to her magic dagger and they arrange a meeting with the Professor from earlier who confirms more exposition. A couple of awkward cuts and a random outfit change later and she is walking back to her home which has been broken in to and her magic dagger is now missing. Ian stops by and after the two casually reject the idea of calling the cops they head off to prepare for the expedition that has randomly manifested to filthy subhuman asiatic indonesia which also includes Bearded Man and Journalist Lady from earlier, who still is five seconds from a messy catfight with Blonde Surgeon.
One cut later and they are on the island already.....im pretty sure this is straight up footage from Zombi 2 now because that looks like the exact same Land Rover in the exact same village with the exact same donkey standing in the road and the camera grain just changed out of nowhere. Also the music is some weirdass imitation of the jungle drums track from that movie. We get a brief moment of them all expositing/bitching in the car and....yeah I straight up recognise this shot. They not only stole Ian McCulloch and the name of his character (it was revealed earlier his name is Peter) and the general plotline AND the sets from Zombi 2 but they stole the footage too. They turn up at Doctor Butcher's house....ok they didnt call him that yet but I saw the trailer. While serving refreshments he calls out for his butler and oh for fuck sake THEY STOLE THE NIGGER FROM ZOMBI 2 AS WELL?! Blonde Surgeon decides to take a nap, and cue the scuffed porn music again as she finally manages to take her bra off for what its worth as a creepy indonesian creeper peeks through the window at her.
Back in the lounge of Casa Del Butcher and the good doctor is explaining how Indonesians are savage filth who reject civilisation and how much he hates having to administer medicine to them and immidiately jumps at the idea of fucking off back to new york. Back in Blonde Surgeon's room she finishes her shower to find a maggot covered head has been left in her bed along with the cannibal symbol written in blood. Seemingly unconcerned about the head she cries out in mild alarm at the symbol, and Doctor Butcher tells her to calm her menstruating ass down as it was just a harmless prank by the lovable native scamps....and yeah I guess they accept this explanation as we now cut to Nigger Butler taking them out on a boat trip in what looks to be a suspiciously full and busy dock for savage cannibal island.....or not. I guess they are now headed to the *actual* savage cannibal island, and the place they were at previously was just a lesser cannibal island.
The boat randomly decides to break so they decide to camp out on a subsidiary cannibal island before finishing the trip to the main one. While Nigger Butler orders the ethnic help to set up the camp Bearded Man randomly babbles about how safe they are because cannibals only like eating dead bodies and they are alive and so they just have to not die if they dont want to be killed. Five seconds later one of the ethnic help members scream out in agony from the dark....and they all decide to just fucking leave him to whatever killed him and go to sleep. Next day they split up to look for his corpse and find it eviscerated, prompting Female Journalist to start snapping pics with glee. The remaining ethnic help decide they want out of this movie but Bearded Man orders them to bury the corpse and remain as meatshields. Ian and Blonde Surgeon find another cannibal symbol and realise this is actually the main cannibal island....I think. Kinda losing track here.
Heading into the jungle they see some natives ambling about nakedly, until one of the remaining ethnic help runs in terror...straight towards them. They chase him down right into a spike trap and proceed to slit his throat and disembowel him before chewing down on the corpse until the protagonists drive them off. Once more the remaining ethnic help and Nigger Butler are ordered to bury the body, and they eventually get back to camp to radio Doctor Butcher for help, who tells them to head to the church/hospital from Zombi 2. As they settle in for the night one of the cannibals breaks into the white woman tent, and Blonde Doctor machetes him through the skull without a second thought, distracting the characters long enough for remaining ethnic help to be killed by a comically large spear through his guts. As the only remaining non-aryan Nigger Butler instantly becomes suspected by Ian of...something. Not sure what beyond being a nigger. Given he is both their guide and pack mule and survival expert it seems a pretty fucking bad choice to antagonise him but whatever.
Next day as they head out they are ambushed by the cannibals again who kill/eat Bearded man and drag off Female Journalist, but just as Ian is about to get his head cut off he is saved by an old friend as we FINALLY get a fucking zombie in this zombi movie. Said zombie is obviously a ripoff Fulci zombie and the makeup is...not great, and he burps loud enough to scare off the cannibals, I assume this sound is meant to be a zombie groan as we hear it spammed a bunch more times as more zombies show up, and after the initial zombie it looks like the rest just had shitty makeup done to their faces and otherwise they look like bald versions of the cannibals. Seemingly not caring about the zombies enough to even mention them the remaining main characters run off into the jungle, eventually reaching the church and meeting Doctor Butcher who casually drops the fact his men have been hunting the natives for hours now, while also shooting down any idea of rescuing Journalist Lady.
Doctor Butcher's plan for the main characters escape is to send them off to find a rubber dingy he saw on the coast that will take them back to their boat while he just sorta hangs out on the island himself. Deciding he doesnt want to be near Nigger Butler any more Ian agrees with the idea and tells him to stay with Doctor Butcher before strolling off with Blonde Surgeon into the jungle again, a zombie peeking at them from the brush. Finding said dingy Ian finally realises this plan is suspiciously stupid, and reasons that Doctor Butcher is up to no good because he told them to go to the old church when he was told they were being attacked by cannibals, and this is apparently suspicious because they never explicitly told him they were on cannibal island....I guess its unreasonable to think he had put two and two together there. Blonde Surgeon even notes this but Ian is now convinced there is a conspiracy afoot because Doctor Butcher wanted to get them off cannibal island after they asked to be rescued from cannibal island.
They finally acknowledge the zombie in the room, referring to it as "the strange creature who saved us" and right on cue the zombie creeping on them stumbles down the beach towards them causing Ian to randomly fucking tear the motor/propeller off the boat and shred the zombie's skull. This is enough to fully convince him Doctor Butcher is the bad guy and they head back inland, and stumble accross Female Journalist casually playing with her camera....or not. Turning round it is infact a random zombie wearing her cloths and her bloody scalp as a wig, which is downright fucking silly, and we cut to the scalped Female Journalist being operated on by Doctor Butcher in the hospital interior from Zombi 2. Screaming in mild discomfort at the fact she has been scalped and the fact her blood is being pumped out, she then gets her vocal cords....or the tip of her tongue from the looks of it....sliced out. She then gets jabbed with a "stay conscious while I rip out your fuckin brain" injection while Ian and Blonde Surgeon snoop around outside.
Breakin in the back door we get a surprisingly slightly spoopy scene where they silently wander around the dark corpse storage area until a zombie jumps out to spoil it, and when he gets machete'd Doctor Butcher and Nigger Butler jump out with guns to take two hostage. Doctor Butcher spends some time calling Ian a big dumb stupidhead and reveals he tricked the natives into going cannibal for shits and giggles and to get easy volunteers for his "cut peoples brains out to make them immortal" experiments. Voicing his desire to experiment on a glorious white man brain he orders Nigger Butler to restrain him, but this gives Ian the chance to free Blonde Surgeon who runs off.....and is immidiately captured by the cannibals. Doctor Butcher injects Ian to make him get a good nights sleep before the debraining operation tomorrow morning and fucks off to bed.
At cannibal village Blonde Surgeon has been stripped naked and they are painting pretty flowers on her skin. She seems entirely happy with this arrangement, even striking a pose for them, and next day Ian wakes up ready for his noggin to be plundered, although he managed to swipe a scalpel to free himself. Meanwhile Blonde Surgeon is still hanging out with the cannibals, and by allowing herself to lie down in the sacred spread-eagle skank stone and having it fold backwards she wordlessly takes over the tribe who seem to now have the magic dagger from earlier. Seriously she literally just lay down on a stone with a skinny white woman indent and was about to be sacrificed, but the moment it fucking began to rotate that magically made everyone stop the ceremony and elect her queen of the fucking cannibals without her saying or doing anything.
Back in the church and Doctor Butcher feels the need to inform Ian he likes to give scalps out to the natives to use in fertility rituals, as it makes their men doubly potent when wearing them, and that blonde scalp wigs are doubly effective still.....that is such a weird thing to say to a guy you are about to conduct surgery onto, before turning back round to fondle the scalp and allow Ian to continue freeing himself, eventually slitting Nigger Butler's throat and making a run for it....only to immediately be captured by the zombies who briefly take over as orderlies until Ian struggles free and throws a gas lap at the zombies to start a fire just as the cannibal natives attack. The natives proceed to kill and eat both Doctor Butcher and the remaining zombie as the Cannibal Chief formerly known as Blonde Journalist reunites with Ian, the two observing more Zombi 2 footage of the burning hospital. Despite this being explicitly described as morning a few scenes ago, it is now night time outside to make full use of said Zombi 2 footage of the church burning down and out of nowhere the credits start rolling and we are done.
Analysis: I want that Juicy Shaq Meat
As of now the rankings are
Zombi 4: Nightmare City
Zombi 5: Hell of the Living Dead
Zombi 3: Zombi Holocaust/Doctor Butcher
Zombi 6: Monster Hunter/Absurd
Zombi 5: Killing Birds
Zombi 6: Dawn of the Mummy
Zombi 4: After Death
Zombi 4: Panic
Zombi 6: Oasis of the Zombies
Next up is the actual Zombi 3 and after that I can finally rewatch Zombi 2 after like a year
Premise: Members of an expedition in the East Indies encounter not only the cannibals they were looking for, but also an evil scientist and his zombie army.
This movie has been on my radar a longass while for a variety of reasons but due to widespread "this is shit and also boring" consensus I kept putting it off....which given the other entries/"entries" in the Zombi franchise I have looked over is probably something I should have kept doing. I am however looking forward to seeing how much of the Zombi 2 sets and shit I recognise given how the movie is notable for reusing a bunch of assets from it.
Also that trailer narration is fucking glorious.
Execution: We start out in a hospital at night where a well dressed doctor moseys on in to the mortuary to casually cut the hand off a corpse before fucking off. Next day during an autopsy some no name doctors notice this while the movie inserts cuts that might be decentish gore, or might be grainy footage of an actual autopsy given the editing. One of the students watching cracks a joke about the missing hand causing the Head Doctor to chimp out and throw them all out, before expounding to his assistance how there is some sickfuck deviant stealing body parts that he doesnt want to report to the cops to protect the hospital's brand, and we get some clunky "are we different from savages dialogue?" before the scene ends and we cut to a blonde surgeon and middle aged professor in their car, further expositing about the mischievous corpse defiler and speculating if its just some frat prank gone wrong (gone sexual) or whatever.
Back in the hospital and a nurse casually walks over a giant pool of blood next to another corpse, and uncovering it reveals its chest entirely rips open, and we get a hilariously badly edited/dubbed moment of her screaming in horror before she even opens her mouth. Head Doctor orders the corpse and the fact it had its heart ripped out covered up because....next scene Blonde Surgeon arrives home as scuffed porn music starts to play, meaning I am getting my first serving of low definition late 70s italian nudity in a frankly horrifying example of 70s room design....or not, she just strips to her underwear and starts walking around her house which is full of random fucking statues and urns and shit. She checks out her fridge which a scare cord reveals to have a big suspicious bag of meat inside, only for a Journalist Lady to arrive snooping around about the creeper at the hospital, and the two bitch at eachother for a few minutes while expositing about random shit long enough for Blonde Surgeon's "magic human sacrifice knife" ornament to be mentioned before the scene ends. The creeper is back cutting up corpses, this time cutting out a heart trying to eat it there, and we see its a mexican looking orderly seen earlier when Head Doctor jumps out, revealing this to be a setup. He jumps out a convenient window, and we see the stunt dummy's arm break off when it hits the bottom, and before he dies he randomly says a word and is revealed to have an evil tattoo/brand which matches that on the magical sacrifice knife from earlier.
Next day Blonde Surgeon and Head Doctor go to meet Ian McCulloch from Zombi 2 who uses advanced racism to identify where the creeper came from, revealing a bunch of filthy disgusting and lazy asiatic indonesians have been pulling shit like this all over the country, and also uses advanced aryan flirting to instantly seduce Blonde Surgeon on the spot. A literal slide show of gore later and Blonde Surgeon realises this is connected to her magic dagger and they arrange a meeting with the Professor from earlier who confirms more exposition. A couple of awkward cuts and a random outfit change later and she is walking back to her home which has been broken in to and her magic dagger is now missing. Ian stops by and after the two casually reject the idea of calling the cops they head off to prepare for the expedition that has randomly manifested to filthy subhuman asiatic indonesia which also includes Bearded Man and Journalist Lady from earlier, who still is five seconds from a messy catfight with Blonde Surgeon.
One cut later and they are on the island already.....im pretty sure this is straight up footage from Zombi 2 now because that looks like the exact same Land Rover in the exact same village with the exact same donkey standing in the road and the camera grain just changed out of nowhere. Also the music is some weirdass imitation of the jungle drums track from that movie. We get a brief moment of them all expositing/bitching in the car and....yeah I straight up recognise this shot. They not only stole Ian McCulloch and the name of his character (it was revealed earlier his name is Peter) and the general plotline AND the sets from Zombi 2 but they stole the footage too. They turn up at Doctor Butcher's house....ok they didnt call him that yet but I saw the trailer. While serving refreshments he calls out for his butler and oh for fuck sake THEY STOLE THE NIGGER FROM ZOMBI 2 AS WELL?! Blonde Surgeon decides to take a nap, and cue the scuffed porn music again as she finally manages to take her bra off for what its worth as a creepy indonesian creeper peeks through the window at her.
Back in the lounge of Casa Del Butcher and the good doctor is explaining how Indonesians are savage filth who reject civilisation and how much he hates having to administer medicine to them and immidiately jumps at the idea of fucking off back to new york. Back in Blonde Surgeon's room she finishes her shower to find a maggot covered head has been left in her bed along with the cannibal symbol written in blood. Seemingly unconcerned about the head she cries out in mild alarm at the symbol, and Doctor Butcher tells her to calm her menstruating ass down as it was just a harmless prank by the lovable native scamps....and yeah I guess they accept this explanation as we now cut to Nigger Butler taking them out on a boat trip in what looks to be a suspiciously full and busy dock for savage cannibal island.....or not. I guess they are now headed to the *actual* savage cannibal island, and the place they were at previously was just a lesser cannibal island.
The boat randomly decides to break so they decide to camp out on a subsidiary cannibal island before finishing the trip to the main one. While Nigger Butler orders the ethnic help to set up the camp Bearded Man randomly babbles about how safe they are because cannibals only like eating dead bodies and they are alive and so they just have to not die if they dont want to be killed. Five seconds later one of the ethnic help members scream out in agony from the dark....and they all decide to just fucking leave him to whatever killed him and go to sleep. Next day they split up to look for his corpse and find it eviscerated, prompting Female Journalist to start snapping pics with glee. The remaining ethnic help decide they want out of this movie but Bearded Man orders them to bury the corpse and remain as meatshields. Ian and Blonde Surgeon find another cannibal symbol and realise this is actually the main cannibal island....I think. Kinda losing track here.
Heading into the jungle they see some natives ambling about nakedly, until one of the remaining ethnic help runs in terror...straight towards them. They chase him down right into a spike trap and proceed to slit his throat and disembowel him before chewing down on the corpse until the protagonists drive them off. Once more the remaining ethnic help and Nigger Butler are ordered to bury the body, and they eventually get back to camp to radio Doctor Butcher for help, who tells them to head to the church/hospital from Zombi 2. As they settle in for the night one of the cannibals breaks into the white woman tent, and Blonde Doctor machetes him through the skull without a second thought, distracting the characters long enough for remaining ethnic help to be killed by a comically large spear through his guts. As the only remaining non-aryan Nigger Butler instantly becomes suspected by Ian of...something. Not sure what beyond being a nigger. Given he is both their guide and pack mule and survival expert it seems a pretty fucking bad choice to antagonise him but whatever.
Next day as they head out they are ambushed by the cannibals again who kill/eat Bearded man and drag off Female Journalist, but just as Ian is about to get his head cut off he is saved by an old friend as we FINALLY get a fucking zombie in this zombi movie. Said zombie is obviously a ripoff Fulci zombie and the makeup is...not great, and he burps loud enough to scare off the cannibals, I assume this sound is meant to be a zombie groan as we hear it spammed a bunch more times as more zombies show up, and after the initial zombie it looks like the rest just had shitty makeup done to their faces and otherwise they look like bald versions of the cannibals. Seemingly not caring about the zombies enough to even mention them the remaining main characters run off into the jungle, eventually reaching the church and meeting Doctor Butcher who casually drops the fact his men have been hunting the natives for hours now, while also shooting down any idea of rescuing Journalist Lady.
Doctor Butcher's plan for the main characters escape is to send them off to find a rubber dingy he saw on the coast that will take them back to their boat while he just sorta hangs out on the island himself. Deciding he doesnt want to be near Nigger Butler any more Ian agrees with the idea and tells him to stay with Doctor Butcher before strolling off with Blonde Surgeon into the jungle again, a zombie peeking at them from the brush. Finding said dingy Ian finally realises this plan is suspiciously stupid, and reasons that Doctor Butcher is up to no good because he told them to go to the old church when he was told they were being attacked by cannibals, and this is apparently suspicious because they never explicitly told him they were on cannibal island....I guess its unreasonable to think he had put two and two together there. Blonde Surgeon even notes this but Ian is now convinced there is a conspiracy afoot because Doctor Butcher wanted to get them off cannibal island after they asked to be rescued from cannibal island.
They finally acknowledge the zombie in the room, referring to it as "the strange creature who saved us" and right on cue the zombie creeping on them stumbles down the beach towards them causing Ian to randomly fucking tear the motor/propeller off the boat and shred the zombie's skull. This is enough to fully convince him Doctor Butcher is the bad guy and they head back inland, and stumble accross Female Journalist casually playing with her camera....or not. Turning round it is infact a random zombie wearing her cloths and her bloody scalp as a wig, which is downright fucking silly, and we cut to the scalped Female Journalist being operated on by Doctor Butcher in the hospital interior from Zombi 2. Screaming in mild discomfort at the fact she has been scalped and the fact her blood is being pumped out, she then gets her vocal cords....or the tip of her tongue from the looks of it....sliced out. She then gets jabbed with a "stay conscious while I rip out your fuckin brain" injection while Ian and Blonde Surgeon snoop around outside.
Breakin in the back door we get a surprisingly slightly spoopy scene where they silently wander around the dark corpse storage area until a zombie jumps out to spoil it, and when he gets machete'd Doctor Butcher and Nigger Butler jump out with guns to take two hostage. Doctor Butcher spends some time calling Ian a big dumb stupidhead and reveals he tricked the natives into going cannibal for shits and giggles and to get easy volunteers for his "cut peoples brains out to make them immortal" experiments. Voicing his desire to experiment on a glorious white man brain he orders Nigger Butler to restrain him, but this gives Ian the chance to free Blonde Surgeon who runs off.....and is immidiately captured by the cannibals. Doctor Butcher injects Ian to make him get a good nights sleep before the debraining operation tomorrow morning and fucks off to bed.
At cannibal village Blonde Surgeon has been stripped naked and they are painting pretty flowers on her skin. She seems entirely happy with this arrangement, even striking a pose for them, and next day Ian wakes up ready for his noggin to be plundered, although he managed to swipe a scalpel to free himself. Meanwhile Blonde Surgeon is still hanging out with the cannibals, and by allowing herself to lie down in the sacred spread-eagle skank stone and having it fold backwards she wordlessly takes over the tribe who seem to now have the magic dagger from earlier. Seriously she literally just lay down on a stone with a skinny white woman indent and was about to be sacrificed, but the moment it fucking began to rotate that magically made everyone stop the ceremony and elect her queen of the fucking cannibals without her saying or doing anything.
Back in the church and Doctor Butcher feels the need to inform Ian he likes to give scalps out to the natives to use in fertility rituals, as it makes their men doubly potent when wearing them, and that blonde scalp wigs are doubly effective still.....that is such a weird thing to say to a guy you are about to conduct surgery onto, before turning back round to fondle the scalp and allow Ian to continue freeing himself, eventually slitting Nigger Butler's throat and making a run for it....only to immediately be captured by the zombies who briefly take over as orderlies until Ian struggles free and throws a gas lap at the zombies to start a fire just as the cannibal natives attack. The natives proceed to kill and eat both Doctor Butcher and the remaining zombie as the Cannibal Chief formerly known as Blonde Journalist reunites with Ian, the two observing more Zombi 2 footage of the burning hospital. Despite this being explicitly described as morning a few scenes ago, it is now night time outside to make full use of said Zombi 2 footage of the church burning down and out of nowhere the credits start rolling and we are done.
Analysis: I want that Juicy Shaq Meat
- Cinematography: Mostly adequate but often is messy as all hell and downright confusing at times. I guess they could have reused the Zombi 2 sets worse but that aint exactly high praise.
- Soundtrack: Forgettable mush that vacillates between imitating Fabio Frizzi and imitating vintage porn tracks
- Effects: The gore was actually pretty ok, although the way it was shot left much to be desired. The zombies though had pretty pathetic makeup for the most part unfortunately.
- Story: An inept splice between Zombi 2, a Cannibal Natives flick, and a generic Mad Scientist movie. Nothing makes internal or external sense and the pacing is so hilariously fucking sped up towards the end its almost impressive
- Characters: The acting was not offensively bad or annoying but nothing really stood out. Ian McCulloch phoned it in but was still probably the best acted, and Doctor Butcher himself had some mildly fun cheese in a few moments, but otherwise just beige.
- Innovation: None. Setting aside the overt ripping off of Zombi 2 in a variety of ways this shit was as uncreative as it gets. I guess the casual contempt for filthy indonesians was a plus though
- Scares/Kills: Not competent enough for actual scares or creepy atmosphere, the moment in corpse storage is probably the closet this comes to being mildly spooky. The kills are actually ok with the gore lacking the pink jello aesthetic a lot of cheap italian gore movies of the era had. Best kill was probably Bearded guy who got the whole disembowelment/eyes ripped out package.
As of now the rankings are
Zombi 4: Nightmare City
Zombi 5: Hell of the Living Dead
Zombi 3: Zombi Holocaust/Doctor Butcher
Zombi 6: Monster Hunter/Absurd
Zombi 5: Killing Birds
Zombi 6: Dawn of the Mummy
Zombi 4: After Death
Zombi 4: Panic
Zombi 6: Oasis of the Zombies
Next up is the actual Zombi 3 and after that I can finally rewatch Zombi 2 after like a year
- Joined
- May 4, 2022
I really liked it. It's almost like it's much less of a remake of Suspiria, and a re-do of the screenplay. It diverges quite a bit from the original, and is a much tighter movie (although, if you're really into Aegento's "let's have the barely relevant Italian cop sit by the fountain and do a 10 minute diatribe," I guess you'll miss those). There's a couple things I have issue with in it - mainly Tilda Swinton's very distracting (and pointlessly so) dual role, which just takes SO much away from the vibe of the movie. That being said, those parts are more of a bookend, so they don't really ruin the bulk of the movie - also, it could just be a personal annoyance that doesn't bother anyone else. The dance scenes are fucking great - and this is from a guy who could give a shit about dancing. And the ending is very, very fun.
To me, it's so different from Argento's that they're almost difficult to compare. It leans much more into the horror than into psych-thriller, and oddly enough, it is much more relevant to its temporal setting than Argento's is - despite being filmed 40 years later.
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- Joined
- Apr 22, 2015
- Joined
- May 4, 2022
Commander X
kiwifarms.net
- Joined
- Apr 6, 2018
Recently watched Death Car on the Freeway, a 1979 CBS TV-movie with some serious vehicular mayhem courtesy of director Hal Needham, and stunt coordinator Craig Baxley - whose director credits include Action Jackson, Stone Cold and I Come In Peace. It's almost a giallo-on-wheels about a lady-hating serial killer who targets women on the freeways with his souped-up van, when it's time to kill the unseen killer puts on his black driving gloves then pops a tape into his 8-track and wreaks havoc. A cast like that of a Love Boat episode, including Shelly Hack, George Hamilton, Abe Vigoda, Sid Haig, Peter Graves, etc. It feels a bit long for a TV-movie but there is some well done automobile action.
- Joined
- May 4, 2022
Lithgow and Geoffrey Rush, in a New Zealand production. Looks fairly interesting, although maybe more thriller than horror. I'd say the Stephen King endorsement is a strike against it, but I'm pretty sure he says the same thing about literally every film he watches.
If nothing else, I'm going to watch and pretend it's David Helfgott vs. Lord John Worfin in a nursing home.
- Joined
- Apr 22, 2015
I finally decided to check out Smile 2. I spoke maybe a little too positively about the first one, ultimately I'd say it's a 5/10 Zoomer-bait horror flick. But ya know? It's still good for the genre that an R-rated horror does #1 box office because (ideally) it means we get more horror flicks.
At first, I completely dismissed the sequel but I kept seeing comments praising it and some choice clips finally convinced me.
This is way better then it has any right to be. The cinematography was outstanding and the gore was fucking good. Spoiler but everyone fucking dies.
The opening titles are a ripoff of LongLegs and there's not much in the way of original ideas but overall I'd say it's a good fun horror flick well worth checking out. You don't need to see the original because I genuinely don't remember much of anything about the original and really enjoyed this one.
8/10
The director is helming a remake of Possession which worried me at first but now I'm curious what he could do with it.
At first, I completely dismissed the sequel but I kept seeing comments praising it and some choice clips finally convinced me.
This is way better then it has any right to be. The cinematography was outstanding and the gore was fucking good. Spoiler but everyone fucking dies.
The opening titles are a ripoff of LongLegs and there's not much in the way of original ideas but overall I'd say it's a good fun horror flick well worth checking out. You don't need to see the original because I genuinely don't remember much of anything about the original and really enjoyed this one.
8/10
The director is helming a remake of Possession which worried me at first but now I'm curious what he could do with it.
- Joined
- Oct 3, 2018
That gif is insane. You've convinced me to see it with just that alone.
Edit: I stumbled across this medieval experimental horror short today. Filmed on 16mm. Can't get the visuals out of my head, left quite the impact considering it's only 10 minutes long and narratively very thin.
Edit: I stumbled across this medieval experimental horror short today. Filmed on 16mm. Can't get the visuals out of my head, left quite the impact considering it's only 10 minutes long and narratively very thin.
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- Joined
- May 10, 2019
That gif starts almost comical, and then just keeps going. I think what makes is so unnerving is that it's done in full light. There's no shadow to hide things and let your mind fill in the blanks, it's just all there and it makes you want to look closer.
That was a good short too. You don't see horror in a Medieval setting much. That's a shame because it could lend well to a horror movie. I also found this animated short that isn't really horror but the feel of the short could be unsettling. It's an animation done in the style of old paleo art from the 1800/early 1900s. Back when dinosaurs where seen as monsters from before the flood.