Is Santa Claus Real?

[Fermented Biden]

No, Santa Clause is not real. Your parents bought you presents. Your dad had to work overtime to be able to afford them. Your mother and father wrapped them at night while you were sleeping. They might have had to get up the next day and go to work depending on when they wrapped them.

Snopes rates this as false. If Santa isn't real, then why is he at the mall? Why is he promoting Coca-Cola? Come back to me when you wake up to coal in your stocking and your milk and cookies consumed, you grinch.

 

[Sayer of the N-Word]

Of course he's real, my mom would never lie to me.

 

[Dumbledore's Onlyfans]

Umm, he can slide under the door if you don't have a chimney, didn't you know that?

My mom used to make a big deal out of leaving a key for Santa under the doormat. I did the same for my kids. They didn't know it wasn't the key to our house. Plus, Santa is magic, so even if the key didn't fit our front door, Santa could open the lock with it anyway.

 

[PointOfNoReturnPoint]

This is what gets posted to community happenings? Really? We are that starved for content?

 

[AMHOLIO]

The real purpose of this thread is if you complain about it being featured for fun you get Null putting you on a list. Then, when Christmas Eve comes, he will be breaking into your house and beat you for being a joyless motherfucker for your Christmas present.

 

[Sayer of the N-Word]

The real purpose of this thread is if you complain about it being featured for fun you get Null putting you on a list. Then, when the timr comes, he will be breaking into your house and beating you for being a joyless motherfucker for your Christmas present.

Party poopers will have KF threads made about them.

 

[Mad_Dog]

This is what gets posted to community happenings? Really? We are that starved for content?

Enjoy your Christmas coal, faggit

 

[Aquarius]

I heard if you kill Santa and steal his coat you take his job, wife, and you own the elves too. Good option for those in-between jobs right now.

I think you mean “good option for MILF and GMILF appreciators”.

Spoiler: MFW

“It’s like a plantations except the slaves is our friends.”

As real as cobras magic

PRAISE COBRA’S MAGIC

Spoiler: This is also literally my face

No, Santa Clause is not real. Your parents bought you presents. Your dad had to work overtime to be able to afford them.

The latter being true does not invalidate Santa. Santa let my parents work contract at his factory to help with the cost of my presents. Depending on your geographic area, your presents may have been wrapped by my Mom and Dad. Santa has an NGO and many people choose to do jolly activism. Did you not say thank you for your gifts? Maybe your parents are leaving Santa out because they feel you don’t have enough gratitude to go around?

Fucking hell dude, the realization that this is probably a real thing abusive grooming parents do is depressing.

I share that sentiment. I resisted the urge to be autistic about it when I first posted (I wanted to keep my hearty-beats-per-mistletoe up), but your post broke my will.
There’s probably going to be moody teenagers who toss Christmas dinner to the floor because Grandpa forgot their silly new fake name.

I believe in Santa I doxed him right right down to GPS coordinates

I’ve always wanted to reverse-Uno some federales: Santa has everyone’s doxes, IP addresses, social security numbers (if you’re Burgerstani), and GPS coordinates. Santa literally lead and funded the project that created GPS - what do you think the ‘S’ stands for? Duh.

 

[RandomShirtlessMan]

Santa as the pop culture icon does not exist but there is a whole complex in Laponia dedicated to him that people can visit and its glorious.

Saint Nicholas who slapped the heretic Arius during the Council of Nicea and sent gifts through chimneys for fathers who couldnt pay a dowry to marry their daughters was real.

So the veredict is: he WAS real as close as it could get to the real deal, and today its a symbol that inspires to bring joy to all, for the glory of Our Lord who was born; and we bring gifts to children so they become joyful in this time, both to honor Him, and to follow His path.

 

[FrickleMyPickle]

Yes Santa is real, he lives at the mall and something in his lap poked me.

 

[Rungle]

The only real holy man is Sinterklaas, who enslaved a bunch of niggers to gift presents to nice dutch boys and girls.

Your parents are probably just putting gifts under the tree while sinterklaas is putting gifts in my shoe.

 

[Fermented Biden]

Further information for santa-deniers: How did he get this video onto YouTube?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8lFjrAj-vrk

 

[PetiteFeet]

If Santa is real he'd be man enough to come kill me in a fist fight.
BET YOU WON'T, OLD MAN! Fuck you!

 

[El-ahrairah]

Of course Santa is real, obviously. Only a cynical, joyless retard would say otherwise. I know there’s the real saint but my favorite movie version was Klaus. Animation’s great and it’s got Norm.

However I do really enjoy this dumb instagram guy’s dark, alternate lore for Santa, there’s a bunch of these and they all kinda link together.

https://www.instagram.com/reel/DDUKah6JYZg/

 

[Space Faring Marsupial]

If Santa is real he'd be man enough to come kill me in a fist fight.
BET YOU WON'T, OLD MAN! Fuck you!

I'm going to touch your toe beans.

 

[SSj_Ness (Yiffed)]

I wish you all a Merry Christmas and that your family members use the correct pronouns on your presents.

Fucking hell dude, the realization that this is probably a real thing abusive grooming parents do is depressing.

 

[Kataskopos]

This is what gets posted to community happenings? Really? We are that starved for content?

merry christmas!!!

 

[The Bovinian Derivative]

Santa Deniers are the Flat Earthers of Christmas.

 

[Burd Turglar]

Little known fact, Santa is actually an Abbo.

 

[Meth Until Death]

Santa came down my chimney and I came in his. He's real, I raped him and I'm gonna do it again.