/horror/ general megathread - Let's talk about movies and shit.

Yeah, Crossed is super edgy boy material but like The Boys, you kind of had to be there during that time period. That kind of shock value stuff hadnt quite become mainstream yet so it still felt transgressive.

Also, this is def Jim lol. I guess the original ending of the first movie is canon then?

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ts almost like the general concept of "a zombie infection that turns people into fully sapient and intelligent sickfuck sadist monsters" can actually work as a horror story when not handled by a whiny edgelord obsessed with crowbarring in his shitty attempts at black comedy along with his bush era/pre-reddit-atheist sermons every five minutes, while making every non zombie character an obnoxious and stupid asshole or snarky self-insert/wish-fulfilment prick.....dang it and I said I was gonna save my sermonizing
What? You don't love the head Crossed lovingly known as Horsecock?!
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He's such a deep and meaningful character and totally not an expression of the author's love for animal dicks.
 
What? You don't love the head Crossed lovingly known as Horsecock?!
View attachment 6741687

He's such a deep and meaningful character and totally not an expression of the author's love for animal dicks.

It gets even worse in Crossed: Family Values which is about a bigamist religious sect where the father beats and rapes his wife and daughters. And Garth Ennis depicts him as the "hero" of the story until it switches to his abused adult daughter.
 
Heretic is kind of freaking me out in its buildup. I always thought High Grant was creepy, even when he was a leading man. He reminds me of Clayface. I hope the Mormon girls make it out alive.
ETA- The second act is kind of dumb.
2- And maybe High Grant is just a schizo?
 
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Another thing to note about the OG movie which makes me think they will have to do a fuckload of soft-retcon spackling to explain why these zombies are so super duper dangerous is because when you actually rewatch the infected scenes in 28 days later, the alleged "mindlessly homicidal rage zombies" seem strangely more sedate than one would think.
yeah I recall that standing out a lot to me on a rewatch of it a year or so back
This is Crossed 100+ with the serial numbers filed off, I am so fucking stoked. Pillar of skulls lets goooo!
finally saw the trailer, still haven't seen 28 Weeks Later
seems cool, def seems to be trying to do something very different from Walking Dead's post zombie world
Boots was baller af for it, tbh I wouldn't be shocked if they were like
"dude! it would be so fucking dank if we used boots for a 28 trailer"
"but we already made them"
"let's make another one so we can do a trailer with Boots!"

I'm expecting there's some manner of swerve for both the humans' and the zombies' societies
sorta reminded me of the trailer for Midsommar
 
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Since people are talking about the unrealistic elements in the movies that bothered them, my biggest peeve was the idiotic emergency plan in 28 Weeks Later.

"Ok, we've got a pathogen that turns any infected person into an active transmitter within seconds. We should lock all the uninfected up in one cramped space."

Seriously, the movie's finale disaster could've been prevented if all the civilians had been instructed to lock themselves in separate rooms and stay quiet. The rage zombies aren't very adept at finding their prey, or breaking through barriers (as individuals at least).

I was about two lines into an effort post, and then I checked, I've brought this up twice in this very thread because it pisses me off so much.

The entire 'second outbreak' is one series of contrivances and outright stupidity by the governments and people.

I mean first of all, if you have a potential asymptomatic carrier of a highly virulent super virus that just recently killed millions of people then said carrier is going to be in a BS4 Level isolation pod or area under more guard and surveillance than your average nuke plant. We already have existing protocols for virulent strains that don't cause super ultra mega rabies, and there is no reason that they would have been used at a minimum. You couldn't even get me into a room with a suspected Rage carrier without a reinforced Type A Biohazard protection suit, and these dipshits aren't even wearing face shields! One drop of spittle in the eye and you're dead! There's been tons of development since the 40's regarding biosafety for research and medicine (and warfare). The official classifications and certification for the levels (1, 2, 3, and 4) were set up in the 1980's in the US and then the UK shortly after. Following 9/11, concerns about anthrax and bioterrorism brought these protocols into the limelight, and many were updated and improved. There is absolutely zero reason that they wouldn't have access to and use mobile labs and isolation rooms for this carrier.

Even assuming every single portable biosafety lab was dropped by accident into the Channel, you can certainly do better than some random room with no monitoring equipment and no guards at all. The fact that the lead engineer/maintenance guy is married to said carrier should have at the very least had his access revoked, like what the fuck. In fact, that room should have been surrounded by jumpy men with machine guns and manually operated doors that require multiple keys to unlock, just to prevent random anyone from wandering in. Shit, even one crayon eating marine standing outside the door that won't let anyone in without the General and head doctor giving the direct verbal order would have prevented the outbreak.

Secondly, when dealing with a highly infectious strain that rapidly causes psychotic violence it also seems like the last thing you'd want to do is take a bunch of people out of their apartments with food and supplies where they might be able to hide and avoid the Rage Infected and instead cram them all together in a warehouse with no food or toilets where they all become infected in under a minute if a single subject gets inside.

They didn't even have the decency to have the carrier's transport truck blow a tire and lose containment right next to the county fair or something, bare minimum Sharknado level writing. The corporate espionage angle of Jurassic Park is a plausible chain of events. These circumstances were such that it seemed the government/military wanted the carrier to infect everyone, which would be an interesting twist. Sadly all we got was lazy and bad writing that couldn't come up with an interesting or logical way to create an infection crisis except 'the military is dumb and we want it.'
 
What? You don't love the head Crossed lovingly known as Horsecock?!
View attachment 6741687

He's such a deep and meaningful character and totally not an expression of the author's love for animal dicks.
Imagine if a Crossed movie was made twelve-fifteen years ago, during the 3D movie craze. You'd have a horsecock flying directly into the audience.
Also, this is def Jim lol. I guess the original ending of the first movie is canon then?
I don't think that's him. They've announced 28 Years Later Part 2 (directed by Candyman remake shaniqua btw) and he's in it too. He's a big actor now and I doubt that he'd agree to spaz out as a rabid infected for two movies straight.
 
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What? You don't love the head Crossed lovingly known as Horsecock?!
Perfect fucking emblem of a solid dozen of the reasons why I despise the series so much....but again, I need to temper my fucking rants about it because otherwise i'm gonna sound like I just got told Steiner's counterattack failed

It gets even worse in Crossed: Family Values which is about a bigamist religious sect where the father beats and rapes his wife and daughters. And Garth Ennis depicts him as the "hero" of the story until it switches to his abused adult daughter.
And then it gets even fucking worse with the next series Psychopath, and then the "badlands" series in which we swap ennis for his shittier (somehow...) knockoffs for a couple dozen different new stories which each manage to be worse than the fucking last....ok Im stopping now. I swear to god Im gonna morph into fucking Linkara at this rate.

Less zombie apocalypse, more return to normalcy now with zombies like how Shaun of the Dead ended.
In order to distract myself from raving about how one overrated zombie series fucking sucks, I might have to go into more detail about how another overrated zombie work fucking sucks, specifically why World War Z fails as a concept and story and feels like it was written by a sheltered 14 year old minecraft squeaker
 
28 Years Later Part 2 (directed by Candyman remake shaniqua btw)
Well, I've decided not to watch these films now. I really hate this new trend of doing secret Part 1/2 movies, its just annoying as fuck and usually means the story is incomprehensible, overlong pretentious shit. This isn't a movie adaptation of some ponderous tome, its an original script! If you can't tell a standalone story in about 2 hours with your ideas, then your ideas are shitty or your talent is lacking. (Even trilogies/sequels have complete narrative arcs, which then fit together later into the series. ) What, exactly, is the big idea in this bog-standard post-apocalyptic zombie movie that requires five to six hours to tell? I don't believe for a second that the time investment will be worth it.

Secondly, I don't want to watch a DEI movie where I predict the twist will be that evil White Men were always the villain after all and must be defeated by an army of non-white sassy girlbosses.
 
Well, I've decided not to watch these films now. I really hate this new trend of doing secret Part 1/2 movies, its just annoying as fuck and usually means the story is incomprehensible, overlong pretentious shit. This isn't a movie adaptation of some ponderous tome, its an original script! If you can't tell a standalone story in about 2 hours with your ideas, then your ideas are shitty or your talent is lacking. (Even trilogies/sequels have complete narrative arcs, which then fit together later into the series. ) What, exactly, is the big idea in this bog-standard post-apocalyptic zombie movie that requires five to six hours to tell? I don't believe for a second that the time investment will be worth it.

Secondly, I don't want to watch a DEI movie where I predict the twist will be that evil White Men were always the villain after all and must be defeated by an army of non-white sassy girlbosses.
yeah tbh I caught the last fifteen minutes or so of Recent Candyman and it seemed cromulent enough that I don't really care one way or the other about that aspect, but I'm far less interested in this now
it's just gonna be them fucking around for the first movie to get to the Bone Zone find out one they're there that it was Earth all along or they were the zombies or whatever bullshit, then the second movie is them heading back

edit - oh for fucks sake they're going for a trilogy?
On 19 August 2024, during a talk at the Edinburgh International Film Festival, Macdonald confirmed DaCosta would be directing the sequel and said that principal photography was set to begin the following day. Macdonald also talked about potential plans for a third 28 Years Later film, saying "we hope there is going to be a third part" and "there is a trilogy".[45]

hopefully this will at least be stupidly up its own ass to the point of being funny
 
I've always thought vampires would be more interesting than zombies. A virus that makes humans and animals dependent on consuming blood and transmits through saliva-to-bloodstream contact would fuck the global population in a matter of months.
 
I've always thought vampires would be more interesting than zombies. A virus that makes humans and animals dependent on consuming blood and transmits through saliva-to-bloodstream contact would fuck the global population in a matter of months.
There was that 2010 movie, Stake Land, that had a post-apocalyptic setting with vampires instead of zombies.
 
yeah tbh I caught the last fifteen minutes or so of Recent Candyman and it seemed cromulent enough that I don't really care one way or the other about that aspect

Really? I'm a big fan of the original, and the remake is garbage. They make Candyman a spirit of Black vengeance against Evil Whites, because blacks never did nuffin'. It would be insufferable race baiting garbage as a standalone property, and as a remake it spits in the face of the original.

it's just gonna be them fucking around for the first movie to get to the Bone Zone find out one they're there that it was Earth all along or they were the zombies or whatever bullshit, then the second movie is them heading back

edit - oh for fucks sake they're going for a trilogy?

I really do not understand this decision. The zombie genre as a whole has, ironically, become a shambling shell of its former self. This property in particular has almost no momentum and was never a mega blockbuster even when it came out almost 20 fucking years ago. The rights for the original are still, as I understand, in dispute so their ability to make and profit from another entry is questionable and complicated. Even choosing to invest a very modest budget into one movie to 'complete the trilogy' of 28 Days/Months/Years would be a pretty risky gamble. Hold on:

75 Million PER FILM?
The new film’s $75 million budget is only part of the franchise’s total, with 28 Years Later being the first of a new trilogy;

For a trilogy, that is over 200 million just on production, not counting all the marketing and distribution, this will need to be a billion dollar franchise to make even a hundred million in profit. The people that greenlit this are stupidly overconfident. They aren't even keeping Garland as the director for all three, so what is the plan here - do a bait and switch on the audience and hope the first film suckers people into seeing the other two? Unlikely.

I've always thought vampires would be more interesting than zombies. A virus that makes humans and animals dependent on consuming blood and transmits through saliva-to-bloodstream contact would fuck the global population in a matter of months.
That was the overarching premise of Daybreakers, albeit from the vampire perspective where they 'won' but are now dealing with a food crisis. There are not enough humans to feed all the vampires, and without blood the human vampires devolve into weird mutant zombie freaks. Cool premise, but the script really ruins the second half and ending hard.
 
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