I used to have neighbour whom has fantastic parenting skills.
She once said that I am delinquent/bad kid/bad upbringing just because I didn't greet her sorry ass at the lift lobby. Also, for no good reason, she would open my window (my windows are along the corridor, I live in an apartment building) and ask for my parents and ask what am I am doing. Once, she even cane her 19-year-old son at the lift lobby just because he picked up smoking. Caning a 19-year-old! So effective!
Finally, I'm pretty sure the only time he crapped at school somewhere OTHER than in his pants he did so in a urinal. Didn't even try to hide it, he ran into the classroom with a really smug look and started asking other boys to come take a gander at his grand accomplishment.
When I was 13 or so, one of my classmates told me some wild stories about his former school, including one about how someone made a "crap porcupine" by taking a huge dump in the urinal and then sticking pencils into it.
Oh wow. Just found out that my personal lolcow is not only on fetlife, but a daddy/little ageplayer. I've been debating on sharing him here because practically everything he does online is under his real name (yes, even fetlife) but this is about enough to just make me say fuck it and make a nice effortpost...
Oh wow. Just found out that my personal lolcow is not only on fetlife, but a daddy/little ageplayer. I've been debating on sharing him here because practically everything he does online is under his real name (yes, even fetlife) but this is about enough to just make me say fuck it and make a nice effortpost... View attachment 170212
Absolutely, but this is a different guy, not Proctor. This dude here is the embodiment of smug. The Dunning-Kruger effect incarnate. The living version of comic book guy from the Simpsons, but with the voice of CWC.
I think Proctor had a myspace once in like 2008, this dude here is just a NEET who lives in a rickety trailer, weighs 400lbs, harasses people online and calls himself "The Trollinator". Is racist, sexist, and lots of other fun stuff too. Chimps easily. My problem is he's constantly doxing himself, but he doesn't have much online presence except Facebook and a few roleplay things.
I've got caps of this dude picking fights with women, BLM, Army Vets, and others as well as just being super creepy. He's a massive pseudo intellectual with by far the worst superiority complex I've ever encountered.
I guess to start off I'll share the first impression I got of this guy. When he puts his mind to it, he fires off long winded rants, sparing no embarrassing detail, no matter how personal. He has zero filter on what he says. Pretty sure he's not an Autist but I'd bet good money his ass is somewhere on the spectrum. Here's his completely unasked for rant about how he's a genius. Bear in mind both Einstein and Hawking have IQs of 160.
He typically gets owned pretty hard and yet never learns.
Also, he's a strong advocate for bullying, both online and off. Kids these days are pussies. Kids are too soft. Everyone's a sissy except of course for the 400lb shut-in with a monitor tan who blows his tugboat on pc gaming and magic cards.
Fuck you. Fuck your kids. I had it worse feel sorry for meeeeeee!
It's a common theme.
There's a quick introduction. Anyone want more of this delightful fellow?
He's not wrong about the relative uselessness of IQ tests. If you go by traditional IQ testing, every single human's IQ decreases as they get older...which is part of why nobody gives a shit about IQ tests.
Also, he's a strong advocate for bullying, both online and off. Kids these days are pussies. Kids are too soft. Everyone's a sissy except of course for the 400lb shut-in with a monitor tan who blows his tugboat on pc gaming and magic cards.
He's not wrong about the relative uselessness of IQ tests. If you go by traditional IQ testing, every single human's IQ decreases as they get older...which is part of why nobody gives a shit about IQ tests.
Of course it is, especially under the detrimental model of aging, but the point is, if you have a little kid take an IQ test, and an old guy take an IQ test, it doesn't matter how "smart" or learned the old guy is, the little kid's IQ result will always be higher...which, as I said, makes it a less-than-perfect model of measuring intelligence.
I'll have to search my pc for most of the Chimpouts and slapfights with minorities and such. He's got a way of getting on Facebook and inserting himself into closed groups or private conversations he has no business in by going onto a friend's profile, then finding it on their wall and hopping to friends of friends, so to an outside observer he just appears from nowhere and starts hurling autism. It's really something.
Speaking of autism, are some things I have here I can post that remind me of Chris Chan's love quest. You see, this guy also believes he's entitled to a sweetheart, and children, and an easy life as a stay-at-home dad. Unlike Chris, he's actually gotten girlfriends. He's actually even been married and divorced too. Unfortunately he is the type who absolutely must get the last word in, and apparently he simply would not, could not shut the fuck up about the girl's father, so she left him. But of course it wasn't his fault. Nothing ever is. This is a common theme.
He's also a huge believer in chivalry, seeing himself as a supreme gentleman, and most women as vapid sluts who don't know a good man when they see one. A bit hard to be chivalrous and romantic and take the lady on dates when you're utterly helpless though. Even CWC has a car and can drive. This dude gets winded walking to the fridge, and therefore doesn't tend to leave the house.
-As you may have noticed, another part of being a gentleman is sprinkling vaguely "British" words into his conversations. Like mum, whilst, betwixt, atop, etc. He's also very patronizing and tends to talk to women as if they're children.
-Even more gentlemanly, he's extremely insecure and smothering, and constantly refers to girlfriends as m'lady, sweetest, beloved, and all sorts of super flowery sounding mush. And baby talk. Lots of baby talk.
-Also, he really, really seems to love those "black people memes" and is always sharing them on Facebook. It's really odd.
Ever been bought a present with your own money while you're at work to earn said money?
Sometimes, people should take their own advice.
What about stay at home daaaaads?
He constantly posted things like these, knowing full well his girlfriend did not want children, and wasn't going to drop out of college and quit her job to give him the kids he feels entitled to. No idea how that would work since his tugboat would be the sole income and it's typically spent on Power Ranger toys and gaming stuff as fast as it arrives. I feel like he'd be like those parents so addicted to second life and raising an imaginary family on it that their very real baby starved to death in a crib nearby because they couldn't stop gaming.
And just a seemingly infinite amount of stuff like this gets posted everyday. He's single now, and I guess he figures women will see it, realize he's not like other men, and fight over him.
That's just some random stuff from my phone. I've got far more coherent and entertaining things on my PC. This was just the best I could do at the moment.
Here's the next installment in my lolcow's many adventures, in which he fails at reading comprehension, outs a lesbian in a comment section, then makes an ass of himself.
He's more than a bit of a homophobe, so he doesn't actually like any LGBT pages. He finds his way to these things through friends of friends. Also he isn't religious, but he'll say he is to bother atheists. Other times, he'll make a big deal of his atheism to annoy the religious. So clever. Here he misreads a comment, or just doesn't understand how context works, and proceeds to attack a lesbian because he thinks she supports Westboro Baptist fundies.
Once again, this dude just travels between people and pages to randomly instigate and escalate shit. Also, he more than likely blocks the people he argues with, because he absolutely will not allow someone else to get the last word in.
I'm gonna greentext on a none-4chan site now.
Anyhow, this is my personal lolcow. I wish I had the time/energy to troll him, but he's getting suspicious of the people on his friends list, which makes me think I'm not the only one.
>Makes shitty art
>Made a shitty game and thinks it's better than 90% of games on the market
>Doesn't understand why no one supported it on patron of bought the game, IT'S SUCH A GOOD GAME.
>Threatens suicide for attention/personal gain
>Always whines about people not liking him
while making no attempt to understand why this is
>Always blames people hating him on something outside his control
>Frequently finds girls to date, scares them away by being an insane fuck, then BAAAAAAAAWS about it and threatens suicide
>Acts out and blames it on his ADHD/not taking his meds
>Goes on about how people are too sensitive and how he doesn't care that he hurt your feefees, yet does nothing but bitch about his own feefees when someone blocks him or says something he doesn't like
Here's a little story...
He once flew out to Texas to meet some gf he had online. In his own words, he "didn't take his medicine" and "did something stupid", which resulted in her and her family blocking him on facebook WITH NO EXPLANATION. It made him SO DEPRESSED and they did all of this without saying a single word to him!
He also threatens suicide to convince girls not to break up with him and says stuff like, "You should enjoy the time you have left with me, it's only a matter of time before I jump off that cliff", or "What was your fondest memory of me?" ect.
As of late, he's been whining on fb about people calling him racist/sexist and it's pretty funny. I'm not antiquated with him IRL and I don't talk to him anymore, but he seems to be involved in some drama that's probably his own fault. I wish I didn't block him, I want to know what's up. Anyhow, I would post more, but I don't want him to find out who I am. He's pretty unstable and he seems like the type to seek revenge. I really wish I could show you guys his DA and shitty game, though.
In high school, I had a substitute teacher that would often fill in for a lot of my classes. I'm not not sure if he was a true lolcow, but he was definitely eccentric. One day, he told us that we should all read Ayn Rand and wrote a bunch a stuff on the white board detailing why we should. He also insisted that America was a party nation and that our high school should be run like a business. When my 11th grade history teacher went on brief leave because his wife had a baby, he specifically put the sub as permanent until he came back just to troll on some of his students that hated said sub.
In a way, I have to give him credit for being his crazy, libertarian self in an ultra liberal city in which my high school was located. Rock on, wherever you are.
My ex's wife (who I'll now call A) filed for divorce sometime in November. It's an uncontested divorce, which means my ex agrees to it. It is official, my ex has no family who's willing to help him on the outside of prison and is waiting for the halfway house to have a bed for him, hahaha.
It may have been pushed into happening when A's boyfriend was told that my ex owes a lot of money to people, and A might have been partially responsible for paying that... which wasn't exactly the truth, but honestly, my ex has said he'd sexually assault his own daughter, there's no way A's daughter with her new boyfriend would have been safe.
A is probably marrying her baby-daddy, who has at least 2 other kids that he doesn't support, the three of them are living with his parents and he doesn't make enough for their own place. He calls himself a sociopath, and will likely find a way to dump A and the new baby, which is speculation from his past behavior.
Ex's former bestie is doing quite well, but can be a bit of a sperg from time to time. Possibly mellowing out so not as cringy. Yay for improvement. On occasion she'll post something that overshares a bit, but that's the worst of it.
edit: it's not a-logging when they do it to themselves and you point and laugh at it. These people have constantly made bad decisions over the course of their lives that landed them in their respective situations.
I'm not too great with storytelling, so please bear with me.
Back in my senior year of highschool (I'll call him NB), there was this kid who would always try to do his absolute best to sound smart. He must've had something wrong with him though, because he just didn't know when to speak or what was appropriate to say. Let me tell you, he wore gross old sweatpants every day with the same, old, tan dirty shirt. Sometimes he would come to class in with a fedora and a trenchcoat, with the beard to match. He also constantly spoke in an extremely fake British accent (and was trying hard to keep it up, too).
Basically, I had two classes with him. Civics and English (and unfortunately sat near him in both of them).
A little backstory on my civics class, is that we had this really heavy set bearded teacher with a lisp. And a huge temper. He would also give out giant projects and huge workloads pretty fairly often, but he was still a pretty respectable teacher regardless. NB, though, didn't like him very much, and every day he would make it very clear by muttering under his breath as loudly as humanly possible about anything he said. Each class was just constant muttering after every sentence he spoke.
He also liked to go on his phone a lot in class as well as sleeping. I didn't really mind people doing it, as long as they weren't obvious about it or if it didn't interrupt the teacher. It almost became a tradition for this kid to bring out his phone in the middle of class, get called out by the teacher, and then angry and start loudly muttering and complaining about him. And when this guy gets mad, he gets loud.
One day, he started sleeping in class again. The teacher, who was clearly getting fed up with him not listening to him, called him out and explained to him that if he keeps it up, he's going to have to be moved to a later class since he couldn't stay awake. As soon as he turns back around to continue with the lesson, NB starts full on arguing with him behind his back with his weird little stutters. Except this time, he gets louder and to the point where everyone in that half of the classroom hears him. Pretty much everyone in the class notices at this point and starts staring at him while he jabbers on, and then suddenly he just stops. Like nothing happened, and he keeps zoning off into the distance.
My English class was much different than civics. And by different, I mean his stuttering transforms into full on talking.
Our English teacher was much, much different from our civics teacher. She was a sweet old woman who was going to retire that year, and she loved to discuss concepts with the class. We had spelling quizzes every Friday, except for one week when she had to have a surgery. So we had to have a sub, no big deal. Apparently, she couldn't get a proper sub for such an early period and so we had to go into a classroom that a teacher has as a free period. The desks were arranged really interestingly, with each half of the class facing each other from the other half of the room. Since my previous class was pretty close by, I got to the classroom early and I sat somewhere in the "front" row. A few minutes pass by, and NB sits parallel to me (not sure if that's the right word) from the other side of the room. The bell rang, and the sub casually brings up our spelling quiz. The whole classroom panics before getting out their lined paper and looking over the words. NB, though, screeches and starts going on a tangent of how angry he is about it despite it being a weekly event. The sub starts to hand out the questions, and by this time half of the classroom starts eyeing him down as he starts raging over the quiz. Though he calms down a little, he managed to keep this up for the entire period. No breaks. He would sometimes have weird voice cracks where he'd 'emphasize' a word he was muttering which would occasionally get pretty loud.
Like I mentioned before, sometimes my teacher would discuss topics with the class usually while reading the book we were studying.
It came to the time of the semester when we had to read Othello, which had possibly the most discussion and question sheets out of all of the other books. As a pre-question, we start talking about things we would hypothetically do with one of the questions being "What would you do if your friend tells you that your partner is cheating on you," or something like that. Someone raises their hand and gets called on. They answer the question. A few more kids discuss. And finally, NB decides to also raise his hand too. In his fake British accent, he brings up how no girl wants to be with him because of how everyone says how "mean" and "bitter" he is, and then starts going on a ramble about how everyone around him is extremely stupid. The teacher kind of nods and listens while he does this, and then politely stops him so that she could move onto the next question.
Also as a small side note, I always felt like I was being watched whenever I was in his proximity.
I loved the hell out of this Downs guy who went to my bank on payday the same time as I did. He'd stand by the entrance, anytime of year and yell "Happy Holidays!" and wave like his life depended on it. He was pals with a guy who carried a teddy bear everywhere he went, including our shitty neighborhood bar. Teddy bear guy also wore only one glove all year round.
One day instead he yelled "You're fired!" in the bank. I never learned why.
There was an ambiguously exceptional kiddo (not Downs, not autistic, just genetically fucked) in my elementary school who liked to rally his small group of friends into action by singing his own Disney songs. Whether it was gym class, recess, walking down the hall, this kid would be at the front of a small line of fellow exceptional individuals singing his own version of songs from The Little Mermaid or Aladdin. He was an albino, so much so you could see his earwax from firing-squad distance. And he had a screechy mezzo-soprano voice. I am pretty sure I can still hear those songs.
There was an ambiguously exceptional kiddo (not Downs, not autistic, just genetically fucked) in my elementary school who liked to rally his small group of friends into action by singing his own Disney songs. Whether it was gym class, recess, walking down the hall, this kid would be at the front of a small line of fellow exceptional individuals singing his own version of songs from The Little Mermaid or Aladdin. He was an albino, so much so you could see his earwax from firing-squad distance. And he had a screechy mezzo-soprano voice. I am pretty sure I can still hear those songs.
