Tess Holliday / Ryann Maegen Hoven - Beached Landwhale model, Body positive and social justice snacktivist, and gigantic fraud

[No Thank You v 2.0]

I will need to borrow some autism from someone for this.

So where’s Tess staying? Air BnBs are expensive, and she doesn’t have a lot of friends to call on for couch surfing purposes, but if I had to guess, I’d guess that the video posted by @NoReturn on 12/20/24 was taken by Tess in front of wherever she’s been staying. Maybe she’s been kicked out since then, who knows, but there are some clues.

Wherever she is, she’s in unit #30, and her building has at least 4 units, there are 4 mailboxes right outside the metal gate of the place she’s obviously walking out of.



She turns to her left and you can see her Jeep parked in the street outside of #30, as well as a bag of some kind laying on the sidewalk right in front of the walkway she just emerged from.



This screenshot also has some nearby buildings for you to try to triangulate with.

She goes a few steps and then the camera cuts, and she is now turned around and walking back in the direction she came from (this is maybe thirty feet?)

The house next to Unit 30 is a big, wood, probably multi-unit house, possibly Victorian style, and there is a large driveway they don’t want you blocking (so move, Tess)




She walks up to the brick border of #30’s ”yard”, cuts the video, then starts again immediately after passing Unit 30, and you can see the bag on the ground behind her for reference.

Shot just before #30 gets into frame:


Next frame:


I believe she is trying to “hide“ where she’s staying with this edit, even though she showed us the front door.

Bag reappears:



She is now in front of what looks like unit #28 to me, but it is backwards and difficult to capture.


I don’t know if it’s very informative, but they have yellow fire hydrants wherever she’s at:


It’s a shitty neighborhood where everyone has metal bars on the windows, doors, and even balconies.

edit to fix stuff

 

[The Hardest R]

I feel like most of this will be low effort or will be given up on quickly. She's posed naked before for an alt shoot and showed off her grotesque square tits but she was smaller then by at least 100lbs.

She will post noodz and be alogged for lolfat. Or post and not get the ~male attention~ she wants and there will be a tantrum.

Either way, we win. She will stay poor and trashy. Anissa will do it better etc.

I think it’ll be what was mentioned earlier: outtakes of past photoshoots from Nick Brady and other shoots she’s done. She posts her gargantuan naked ass before on various occasions so I can see her just reposting photos that she used to upload for free. She might even rent an upscale AirBnB to take shitty bathroom mirror nudes because AirBnB owners really love their apartment being used for porno.

It’s a shitty neighborhood where everyone has metal bars on the windows, doors, and even balconies.

It’s not a big surprise. Another tell is that she’s staying close by her apartment because she doesn’t trust that she won’t get hassled or worse if she strays too far away. In those shitty, crime ridden areas, you do what you need to do and get the fuck back inside. She filmed this outside because seeing metal bars on windows is undoubtedly nicer looking than what she’s got going on inside at her place.

 

[yousoundlikeanasshole]

View attachment 6839632View attachment 6839628View attachment 6839635
Those underwear do a really good job of containing her overflowing fat.

Are these what she posted on her OF?

 

[Justanotherguy]

Are these what she posted on her OF?

Please don't stone me, but I found them on reddit.

 

[Turquoise]

and possibly still could have had a career as a plus size model like Ashley Graham if she wasn’t a pain to work with,

Whatever you're smoking, I wanna try some.

Ashley Graham has top tier facial genetics, big tits and a pyhsique that the kids would call "thicc". She's gorgeous. Tess doesn't even look like she's the same species as Ashley Graham. She was thrust into the limelight as part of a social movement that aims to subvert everything good and beautiful by foisting upon us the most repuslive aesthetic forms they can come up with.

 

[Justanotherguy]

Tess only has herself to blame, and possibly still could have had a career as a plus size model

Plus size model....


=/=

 

[Wizard 1]

This is gonna be the new coinslot. 2025 is ruined.
/fit/ will never be usable again.

To be fair, /fit/ hasn't been usable for a good 3-5 years now. All this will do is just mix into the usual shtick of architects using /fph/ threads to make stealth bbw threads. Tess will just join the masses there.
We lost /fit/ for good when SIR didn't come back for his New Year comic a few years back.

 

[Decoy St. Chum]

Guess what supermodel started an onlyfans?

My morbid obe-uhm, curiosity is officially piqued. Man the harpoons!

 

[BradeRunna]

Ok. I'll ask, black guys how long until you post her nudes so everyone can laugh at her pepperoni nipples and papa meat looking asshole?

They were probably already jerking it to all the other fat girls on the internet. If you like fat chicks the internet has you covered.

 

[vanilla_pepsi_head]

I feel like most of this will be low effort or will be given up on quickly. She's posed naked before for an alt shoot and showed off her grotesque square tits but she was smaller then by at least 100lbs.

Agreed. I agree with everyone speculating she's just going to dump outtakes from shoots she's done before, in fact I don't think she's actually going to make any new content at all. I think she knows Onlyfans is the biggest mainstream platform of choice for coomers willing to open their wallets, and will just recycle old modeling pics because it's just meant as an advertisement, the real intent is attracting a few new clients willing to hire her as a high-end escort. If she makes a couple grand off Onlyfans itself as passive income, all the better, but I don't think that is what this is about.

If she really expects to find a bunch of men willing to pay her the prices she's used to and be incredibly discreet about the arrangement, this is almost certainly not going to fucking happen. Men who come to LA and go through whatever channels exist for rich people willing to hire an escort for 10k a month are not the same kind of men who lurk Onlyfans and spend their spare time chucking pennies at sluts hoping for a shout-out. I don't know what Tess might've done to burn all her connections with her former cakejohn pimps but it was an incredibly fucking bonehead move.

 

[YouGuysAren'tThatSmart]

Did she ever do that TedTalk? I just searched on Google really quick and found nothing? If so, was it retarded?

 

[Angry New Ager]

I will need to borrow some autism from someone for this.

So where’s Tess staying?

30 Falcon Ave., Long Beach.

Spoiler: showing my work

The tall building in the background is the Ocean Club Tower, which is condos:

As soon as I saw that Ocean Club building, and that it had balconies, and was of a certain age, I had a hunch it was condos, and on the beach, because until recently, tall residential blocks like that in SoCal were only built along beaches, or in spots with beach views. So that was my starting point.

On Google street view:


Here's her building; the door on the left is number 30; the mailbox is hidden behind the bushes:


There's a more recent view from two years ago, which looks a little better; you can see the mailboxes:


"Enhance":


Next door, to the left, is the fence and gate with the No Parking sign:


It was shockingly easy to find, once I decided she was most likely to still be in Long Beach and must be down near the water. I dropped the street view marker in random spots along E. Ocean Boulevard until I spotted the right configuration of windows on the Ocean Club Towers on the third or fourth try. Once I had that, it was easy.

ETA: Forgot the map!

Tess, your OpSec is absolute shit, I swear to god. You basically gave your address away.

 

[Cheesegirl78]

30 Falcon Ave., Long Beach.

Spoiler: showing my work

The tall building in the background is the Ocean Club Tower, which is condos:
View attachment 6841280
As soon as I saw that Ocean Club building, and that it had balconies, and was of a certain age, I had a hunch it was condos, and on the beach, because until recently, tall residential blocks like that in SoCal were only built along beaches, or in spots with beach views. So that was my starting point.

On Google street view:
View attachment 6841319

Here's her building; the door on the left is number 30; the mailbox is hidden behind the bushes:
View attachment 6841321

There's a more recent view from two years ago, which looks a little better; you can see the mailboxes:
View attachment 6841369

"Enhance":
View attachment 6841361

Next door, to the left, is the fence and gate with the No Parking sign:
View attachment 6841370

It was shockingly easy to find, once I decided she was most likely to still be in Long Beach and must be down near the water. I dropped the street view marker in random spots along E. Ocean Boulevard until I spotted the right configuration of windows on the Ocean Club Towers on the third or fourth try. Once I had that, it was easy.

ETA: Forgot the map!
View attachment 6841443

Tess, your OpSec is absolute shit, I swear to god. You basically gave your address away.

Damn, you're good.

 

[toilet_rainbow]

30 Falcon Ave., Long Beach.

Spoiler: showing my work

The tall building in the background is the Ocean Club Tower, which is condos:
View attachment 6841280
As soon as I saw that Ocean Club building, and that it had balconies, and was of a certain age, I had a hunch it was condos, and on the beach, because until recently, tall residential blocks like that in SoCal were only built along beaches, or in spots with beach views. So that was my starting point.

On Google street view:
View attachment 6841319

Here's her building; the door on the left is number 30; the mailbox is hidden behind the bushes:
View attachment 6841321

There's a more recent view from two years ago, which looks a little better; you can see the mailboxes:
View attachment 6841369

"Enhance":
View attachment 6841361

Next door, to the left, is the fence and gate with the No Parking sign:
View attachment 6841370

It was shockingly easy to find, once I decided she was most likely to still be in Long Beach and must be down near the water. I dropped the street view marker in random spots along E. Ocean Boulevard until I spotted the right configuration of windows on the Ocean Club Towers on the third or fourth try. Once I had that, it was easy.

ETA: Forgot the map!
View attachment 6841443

Tess, your OpSec is absolute shit, I swear to god. You basically gave your address away.

Took less than three hours to find once someone asked and posted a couple pictures. Probably only took that long because it’s late at night in the States. Great find!

Tried to see if I could find pictures of the actual condo, but was unsuccessful. I found one for a unit in the same building, however. I assume that it’s close enough. (And here a condo in the building across from it for good measure.)

Assuming Tess’s condo is similar or identical:

Spoiler: pictures

Listing

Spoiler: additional info

 

[Mike Hunt]

I don't know what Tess might've done to burn all her connections with her former cakejohn pimps but it was an incredibly fucking bonehead move.

If she showed the same laziness and low effort that defined her short modeling career, it's not that much of a stretch to think her cakejohns also soured on her enough to drop her, much like the rest of the modeling industry.

She got incredibly lucky to have gotten some gigs in at the height of the HAES movement before the industry realized fat and/or ugly people don't sell clothes well. Tess was dumb enough not to sock away money for savings, arrogant enough to think she'll always be a moddle and thus never transitioned to the many adjacent careers to be had in the fashion industry, and I assume, lazy enough to not keep her last financial lifeline in L.A., her cakejohns, satisfied.

We'll see, maybe she unconsciously drops even more hints about her declining life, like the random assertion about her smelling good, LOL.

 

[Barbarella]

Looks like she’s in a duplex. Wonder what the neighbors think? $1700 a month a block from the ocean is a phenomenal deal. even if she has to pay the HOA fee.

Cakejohns get bored, and this might not be Tess’s fault. I imagine she can charm a man sufficiently for a night or two a week.

The whole thing with Sugar Daddies is they aren’t going to fall in love and when they are done, it’s over.

We don’t know if she had one whale or a few guppies, but if it’s a whale, I’m sure they discuss the arrangement before hand. I’d imagine the guy can opt out any time, but probably with a promise of not leaving her high and dry. Maybe a 2 month move out date? I have no idea if they actually had contracts for this type of arrangement but it’d be smart.

If she was juggling guppy fetishists it’d be more precarious, as she’d have to do more and pay for things herself with no guarantee they don’t leave her in the lurch. and then if they all disappeared, it would be about her.

I actually have no clue how any of this works or what she did. My entire knowledge about sugaring comes from Boogie, and he’s not exactly a high roller. (Just the whale.)

Did she sit on a cake nightly for $500.00 an hour or did she have one special chocolate cake that paid her rent and utilities?? We may never know.

The inside of that place is going to be small but near the ocean makes it worth it. Oh god, not if we get more bikini shots though.

 

[Salt Upon Wounds]

 

[The Hardest R]

30 Falcon Ave., Long Beach.

Spoiler: showing my work

The tall building in the background is the Ocean Club Tower, which is condos:
View attachment 6841280
As soon as I saw that Ocean Club building, and that it had balconies, and was of a certain age, I had a hunch it was condos, and on the beach, because until recently, tall residential blocks like that in SoCal were only built along beaches, or in spots with beach views. So that was my starting point.

On Google street view:
View attachment 6841319

Here's her building; the door on the left is number 30; the mailbox is hidden behind the bushes:
View attachment 6841321

There's a more recent view from two years ago, which looks a little better; you can see the mailboxes:
View attachment 6841369

"Enhance":
View attachment 6841361

Next door, to the left, is the fence and gate with the No Parking sign:
View attachment 6841370

It was shockingly easy to find, once I decided she was most likely to still be in Long Beach and must be down near the water. I dropped the street view marker in random spots along E. Ocean Boulevard until I spotted the right configuration of windows on the Ocean Club Towers on the third or fourth try. Once I had that, it was easy.

ETA: Forgot the map!
View attachment 6841443

Tess, your OpSec is absolute shit, I swear to god. You basically gave your address away.

This is amazing work.

She is still punching well above for someone who doesn’t have a job or any kind of reliable, above board income sources so she continues to get money from somewhere that she’s not comfortable disclosing.

 

[Soup Sammiches]

View attachment 6841711
View attachment 6841722

ACKCHTUALLY I'm pretty sure what she means is "My nose is actually in functional order" and not "I don't smell like a fucking wildebeest."


Ed. formatting

 

[Meiwaku]

The LA fires burning reminds me of a story from Romance of the Three Kingdoms (which was a historical story based on real Chinese history that is insanely famous in China)

The traitor Dong Zhuo was FAT who put himself at the head of the Qing state after killing the emperor and put in a chind puppet emperor. Like many Chinese leaders, he was killed in an insurrection.

It was recorded that Dong Zhou's corpse was left on the streets after his death. Some angry person lit a wick placed on his navel which burned for several days on the fat of the corpse.

So I'm picturing Tess laid out after diabetic coma in her polyester (plastic) "athletic" gear and burning for months after the fire has subsided of which she was lit aflame.