Horrorcow Lucas Werner - A man of Spokane, Washington who is obsessed with millennial and Gen Z chicks

[WonderWino]

Werner Logic at its finest. It's genuinely hard to comprehend how much of a retard he is. It'd be one thing if he was just "simple", but I'm amazed at his ability to deliberately ignore reality. He legitimately thinks that the reason he can't get a non-bigoted zoomer bae is that they're all bigots against his characteristics. Lucas rationalizes that their lack of attraction to him has nothing to do with him, specifically. He takes "ignorance is bliss" to a new level, where it's now hell.

With lucas's stupidity and ability to twist reality around in his head and convince himself of nonsensical things he invented himself he would make an ideal member of the inner party. Must have been what orwell meant with that protective stupidity stuff. It really does fit lucas's idea of a perfect world - inner party members are given their own apartment better than anyone elses, are given food thats shit quality but better than what everyone else gets, drink shit tier alcohol, are expected to be essentially delusional and are expected to produce children for the party, yet nobody is allowed to marry if they are actually attracted to each other. Plus lucas would report king roy and everyone else who doesn't give him what he wants to the thought police. He'd be happier than a pig in shit to be an inner party member

 

[Cnaiur urs Skiotha]

With lucas's stupidity and ability to twist reality around in his head and convince himself of nonsensical things he invented himself he would make an ideal member of the inner party. Must have been what orwell meant with that protective stupidity stuff. It really does fit lucas's idea of a perfect world - inner party members are given their own apartment better than anyone elses, are given food thats shit quality but better than what everyone else gets, drink shit tier alcohol, are expected to be essentially delusional and are expected to produce children for the party, yet nobody is allowed to marry if they are actually attracted to each other. Plus lucas would report king roy and everyone else who doesn't give him what he wants to the thought police. He'd be happier than a pig in shit to be an inner party member

You're right that he's excellent at doublethink and crimestop, but I think he would get filtered by those exercises the telescreen makes you do every morning. That or a hot zoomer bae undercover thinkpol agent would very easily convince him to betray BB for the promise of sex with her. He'd be in Room 101 facing his greatest fear (a treadmill on the second slowest setting) complaining that he thought Gen Z was an Ingsoc generation and Ingsoc means not being greedy with the pussy, damn it! Even the most talented Inner Party torturers would be unable to break through his narcissism and he would, in an unusual secret defeat for the Party, be shot while still loving himself more than BB.

 

[Bassomatic]

In ways he already is and it's kinda funny when you think about it. While you or I have to wake up cook our own food and grind all day. Lucas gets to fart around and fart more, jerk off to children, fart some more be fed.

He's fed, clothed etc. You can see someone as greedy and low IQ as him doesn't see his flop house as needed because he's retarded but he's entitled it because he's so great. Reminds me of that old video "I'm entitled to food stamps, I'm entitled to healthcare why am I not entitled to a GF?" The whole because you're spoiled by a rich capitalistic nation and you're fucking retarded and your family doesn't want you flew right over his fat misshapen head.

 

[VoidFace]

Lucas still not understanding what a mukbang is, reminding us why he failed intro bio, talking about conversations he’s likely never had, and overall lacking coherence:

Hey Luke: there are exactly zero transitional forms between humans and monkeys because humans didn’t evolve from monkeys. Any idiot who passed high school biology could tell you that.

 

[Ultrapenguin]

What's with the eyes and incoherent mumbling? Is this retard stoned, or do they have him on a ton of antispychotics? There's obviously something wrong with him (beyond the usual I mean).

Although I have to admit, with him stuffing his face like a pig with his eyes half closed he does do an absolutely spot-on Jabba The Hutt impression.

 

[VoidFace]

What's with the eyes and incoherent mumbling? Is this retard stoned, or do they have him on a ton of antispychotics? There's obviously something wrong with him (beyond the usual I mean).

Although I have to admit, with him stuffing his face like a pig with his eyes half closed he does do an absolutely spot-on Jabba The Hutt impression.
View attachment 6847552

I think it might just be that he was eating. This is a person who was taught from an early age to eat his feelings, that food was the only way to happiness, after all.

 

[Da Dude123]

Lucas still not understanding what a mukbang is, reminding us why he failed intro bio, talking about conversations he’s likely never had, and overall lacking coherence:

Hey Luke: there are exactly zero transitional forms between humans and monkeys because humans didn’t evolve from monkeys. Any idiot who passed high school biology could tell you that.

I guess those boneless wings were plenty good! Lucas said someone gave them to him. I guess he knows someone who works at Pizza hut? Man, he is gonna be hitting them up for free food all the time now.

Baby zoom zooms, look what you're missing! You got a plenty good man willing to share his Pizza Hut boneless wings with you. Quit being agephobic and quit being bigots. Form a queue, Gen Z women and maybe Lucas can treat you to a steak or boneless wings next time!

 

[Cheesegirl78]

I can't get over how much his wattle jiggles when he chews.
Terrible table manners, as well. Didn't his mother teach him ANYTHING?

 

[HackerX]

Lucas still not understanding what a mukbang is, reminding us why he failed intro bio, talking about conversations he’s likely never had, and overall lacking coherence:

Hey Luke: there are exactly zero transitional forms between humans and monkeys because humans didn’t evolve from monkeys. Any idiot who passed high school biology could tell you that.

LOL, you see him interacting with someone. Apparently the chicken wings are leftovers from Pizza Hut and someone didn't want them to go bad, so Lucas decided to help.

Of course he chews with his mouth open. I don't recall ever watching him eat, but I wouldn't have expected anything less.

Watching him rub his face with a greasy finger between bites. At first I thought maybe it was his pinky or something that hasn't just picked up a wing, but nope.

The bumcel is literally closing his eyes in ecstacy while he's chomping down. Reminds me of Chantal, where you know he's doing it for the clip, but you also know he's basically having an orgasm when the food reaches his tongue.

LOL, towards the end he's talking about wishing more people were around so he could offer them some. Keep in mind, there are about 2 left at this point. Apparently, he didn't offer any to Marvin because his fingers were dirty. NIGGA WHAT??? Then, on the last wing, Marvin stops back by and Lucas offers it to him. Lucas is so kind and loving. Eating 14 of someone else's boneless wings and offering the last one to Marvin after he's already walked by once.

Some solid screenshots

Lucas still not understanding what a mukbang is, reminding us why he failed intro bio, talking about conversations he’s likely never had, and overall lacking coherence:

Hey Luke: there are exactly zero transitional forms between humans and monkeys because humans didn’t evolve from monkeys. Any idiot who passed high school biology could tell you that.

He really did start the topic out of nowhere and made no actual point. How does he think that "dirt and dust" bit is relevant to evolution? It has nothing to do with the topic of his faux conversation, but he thinks it does? Then he starts getting into it a bit more and he's just spouting off words while chewing with his eyes closed some more for no reason.

 

[mothman96]

I guess those boneless wings were plenty good! Lucas said someone gave them to him. I guess he knows someone who works at Pizza hut? Man, he is gonna be hitting them up for free food all the time now.

Baby zoom zooms, look what you're missing! You got a plenty good man willing to share his Pizza Hut boneless wings with you. Quit being agephobic and quit being bigots. Form a queue, Gen Z women and maybe Lucas can treat you to a steak or boneless wings next time!

Starting at approx. 2:21 he says he got the chicken from someone named Tara and she is in the TV room.

ETA:
After the wings he'll likely still go for seconds at dinner.

 

[Pedophobe]

Starting at approx. 2:21 he says he got the chicken from someone named Tara and she is in the TV room.

Ah yes the classic "drop food to evade the low-INT monster" trick. Very old school.

 

[not in the cards]

Lucas still not understanding what a mukbang is, reminding us why he failed intro bio, talking about conversations he’s likely never had, and overall lacking coherence:

Hey Luke: there are exactly zero transitional forms between humans and monkeys because humans didn’t evolve from monkeys. Any idiot who passed high school biology could tell you that.

So he posts a video of him eating secondhand takeout food, tries to pass this off as a mukbang, has his call for desperation in the title, and this is his big plan to win that zoomer bae? Who in their right mind is going to be upset about missing out on that? Shows how little it takes to keep him under control, I guess. Ironically the only way to effectively sedate him is to feed him. It'll stop him from chimping out but it'll still kill him in the long run. He's fucked either way.

 

[Fanatical Pragmatist]

Lucas "Daddy Material" Werner now offering to "share" second-hand food that someone else gave him.
What a provider!

 

[WonderWino]

What's with the eyes and incoherent mumbling? Is this retard stoned, or do they have him on a ton of antispychotics? There's obviously something wrong with him (beyond the usual I mean).

Although I have to admit, with him stuffing his face like a pig with his eyes half closed he does do an absolutely spot-on Jabba The Hutt impression.
View attachment 6847552

On that note he reminds me of godoba the hutt from swtor, that skeevy hutt from quesh that sits around getting high off his ass on adrenals and looking like he's stoned out of his gourd all the time. Even manipulates the imperials to get what he wants, much like lucas

Ah yes the classic "drop food to evade the low-INT monster" trick. Very old school.

Like trying to evade a timberwolf in the long dark. Somehow that seems eerily appropriate. The idea that lucas would catch the scent of a zoomer cause she's carrying some venison is hilarious, particularly the idea she could drop it, sneak off and lucas would waddle over and eat raw venison off the sidewalk, forgetting about the zoomer sounds exactly like something he would do

Lucas "Daddy Material" Werner now offering to "share" second-hand food that someone else gave him.
What a provider!

Its literally a video with him recording himself doing another one of his food traps hoping to attract a woman. It never appears to occur to him that if anyone wanted any they could just go get some from the same person he did, even when he's asked where he got them and tells them

 

[Attractive Sexhaver]

Some solid screenshots

God these screenshots are nauseating. Just the sights and the sounds are bad enough. Imagine some poor zoomer bae in smelling distance of that revolting troll. We really are interfering in nature's plan by not letting him sleep under a bridge.

 

[CruelGermanGirl]

Had to repost this classic, was begging socialist hottties to stop banging "millenial fuckwits" eight years ago. The script remains the same, only the generations changed. MOVE ON!! he screams, but he ain't moved on a fucking millimetre.

 

[Kingfisher9000]

The expression Lucas makes while eagerly anticipating meat being inserted into his mouth

 

[Fanatical Pragmatist]

PoV: You are a young woman trapped in a one-way alley with The Wern.
Your back is to the wall, and The Wern is worked himself up into a rapey stupor. You shout, but no one is there to hear. The Wern knows this, and knows no cops, fat alberts, maygas or flatbills will come to stop him.
Running out of options, you resort to a desperate distraction.
"Look, what's that!" You shout and point, drawing The Wern's attention to a dumpster.
You plan to seize the moment and run, but your distraction works far better than you could have hoped for. The Wern spots a 2-day old box of cold pizza and stale ranch dressing. Suddenly, it's lust for fertile poon transforms into a lust for shit-quality food, and The Wern launches into a crazed fit of hunger as it slathers the stale ranch all over the crusty old pizza and devours the trash food whole, stuffing its face as it moans in horrific ecstasy. You slip past the disgusting orgy of garbage gluttony and into the safety of the main street.
The next day, you see a video of The Wern angrily ranting and screaming that yet another zoomer girlfriend was swooped from his grasp by an evil bigot that broke bro code.

 

[Jeremiah the Bullfrog]

https://www.youtube.com/shorts/RItpjCoqfkk

Jesus fucking Christ, so some dude takes him out for drinks and even undertakes the impossible task of flying wing for a morbidly obese schizo. Then Lucas has the unmitigated gall to complain that this guy had the audacity to not spend enough money on him?

 

[mothman96]

https://www.youtube.com/shorts/RItpjCoqfkk

Jesus fucking Christ, so some dude takes him out for drinks fly wingman and even undertakes the impossible task of flying wing for a morbidly obese schizo. Then Lucas has the unmitigated gall to complain that this guy had the audacity to not spend enough money on him?

Comment to that video:

ETA:
My mistake, the above comment is to video below:

What are the replies?