💰 Grifter "Mad at the Internet" - a/k/a My Psychotherapy Sessions

des Pudels Kern said:
Tell the associates you need them to check you out. I don't care what's going on in a store I am not paid to be a cashier, and I will demand a cashier. Be a dick in real life. It's fun.
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Go to a Walmart employee, tap them on the shoulder and start flapping your hands around like you are deaf. When they ask if you need help, act confused. Point over to the register and grab their arm and walk them over to it. Act confused and point at the groceries and the register. They will do the scanning for you willingly. When you go to leave they will reflexively say "have a nice day". Look them dead in the eyes and say, "Thank you, you too."
 
gampboonerisms said:
. The retards in front of you dont know how to scan a barcode, the only attendant has to check 5 peoples id's so it takes even longer, they dont know how to pay, and **the machines are so fucking sloooooowwww** when scanning and weighing. Self checkouts be fast? Youre living in a fantasy that was spoonfed to you.
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The longest thing in any aspect of dealing with Retail is WAITING FOR MOTHERFUCKERS TO PAY.

Before I switched Careers (thanks for teaching me how to do Banking retail job) I could ring through over A thousand Items an hour, I could get 99% of orders rung up in under Five minutes.

Do you know what often took more than 5 Minutes? People paying, including people who are paying with Debit or Credit because they take longer to remove their card from their wallet...stare at it, stare at the Debit Reader...than I did to ring up their entire order.
 
Honka Honka Burning Love said:
The longest thing in any aspect of dealing with Retail is WAITING FOR MOTHERFUCKERS TO PAY.

Before I switched Careers (thanks for teaching me how to do Banking retail job) I could ring through over A thousand Items an hour, I could get 99% of orders rung up in under Five minutes.

Do you know what often took more than 5 Minutes? People paying, including people who are paying with Debit or Credit because they take longer to remove their card from their wallet...stare at it, stare at the Debit Reader...than I did to ring up their entire order.
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its the slack jawed 'ddduuuuurrrrr um oh pay yeah i got my card in here yeah just let me yeah oh wait wrong way ddduuuurrr'. That always got me. I loved cashiering but have your id and money fucking ready.

(god knows its best to not say all the cash sales i had where black dudes would pull cash out of their sock or trashy ass trailer trash women would pull money out of their bra. In the middle of the night and fat as fuck.)
 
Null said:
can you guys please let me interact with a single woman without getting weird ship fanfic in this thread

like carolyn farrow is married and i only know slatzism through twitter. if i wanted a relationship i would not look online because i do not want any facet of my personal life on the Internet. it's really weird having random people you're friendly with constantly being accused of being your secret gf when you barely even know them.

i have a hard enough time forming bridges with anyone because of the insane people around me, i don't need the kf people also being weird.
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I promise to only *ship* you in a love triangle with PPP and Andy.
 
Grimes was there.

When Elon's American druid was standing at the security barrier outside the car park to the Abattoir of Zir , where everything is halal and the workers are all Indians on specialty occupation visas who wont kill any of the cows, so there are so many cows, she was there.

The guy in the car park security booth was like: 'Hey, you can't be standin' round here man.'

Elon was all like: 'Ban chod, this is an American server and I'm on public land, so you can suck my Tesla dick.'

Grimes was there, semi-crouched down behind his gamer chair, clinging nervously to his shoulder, whispering in his ear 'Don't do it baby, they'll slaughter you. in there.'

Elon, sliding his gaming headband down over his forehead, patted her hand.

'They're forgetting one thing, babe,' he said 'The Elon.'

Then with a cry of ELLLLOOOOONNNNNN!, he stormed that cow-infested hell forge, where every room and corridor was designated for shitting. That day the shell company who were in the process of asset-stripping the Abattoir of Zir experienced druid justice, the American way. That's when Grimes knew that she was pregnant. Elon had literally just leveled-up one of her eggs.

Grimes was there in Polytopia when Elon beat Felix like the punk ass, cell block D hand-around bitch he is. She saw it happen.

I am trying spend less time in front of a screen, and since I don't run a phone or any kind of mobile computer, I convert the podcast to a sound file and play it on my hi-fi through an iPod nano; a tiny square shard of obsolete technology. At the end, the iPod goes into shuffle mode and I why Null is playing Amazing Astronauts and then other songs after the closing song.

'Boomer!' I cry from across the room, before realising that it is I who am the boomer.
 
Abbatoir of Zir is pretty deeplore for Diablo. It was a special dungeon that was thrown together last-minute for the second half of season 2, as a strictly experimental thing for endgame and unless you played a sorc or maybe bonespear necro you basically couldn't play it farther than walking in and dipping your toes into it for one floor. It didn't influence much and leveling was still a chore back then so I didn't play it, but the devs glazed it up on a campfire chat stream. It sort informed the time trials and leaderboards they ran for 2 seasons, then abruptly closed without warning for the current season 7. I tried that mode a couple times, and even though nobody talked about or made videos of the mode, the leader boards were full every week of impenetrable scores with only 20% of them being Chinese character names. An oddly large and active playerbase that was also strangely silent & secretive.

I strongly dislike modern blizzards dev team but they're both committed and agile, even if they're incompetent. It's surreal that Elon even cares about this title at all.

Minion necro is overtuned now until tax day, if you're into that sort of thing.
 
Null said:
can you guys please let me interact with a single woman without getting weird ship fanfic in this thread

like carolyn farrow is married and i only know slatzism through twitter. if i wanted a relationship i would not look online because i do not want any facet of my personal life on the Internet. it's really weird having random people you're friendly with constantly being accused of being your secret gf when you barely even know them.

i have a hard enough time forming bridges with anyone because of the insane people around me, i don't need the kf people also being weird.
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Telling people that something makes you uncomfortable will not make them do it less, it will make them do it more.
 
I was rewatching the MATI episode where Josh was reading the UK narc chatlines and I was dying of laughter.
 
gampboonerisms said:
Self checkouts are so goddmned slow. The retards in front of you dont know how to scan a barcode, the only attendant has to check 5 peoples id's so it takes even longer, they dont know how to pay, and **the machines are so fucking sloooooowwww** when scanning and weighing. Self checkouts be fast? Youre living in a fantasy that was spoonfed to you.
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Where do you live, some third world country?
Im through self checkout in 1 minute if im buying something that i can just shove into all of my pockets, if i buy more, bagging takes more than the checking process.
Only check IDs for alcohol SOMETIMES.
Then again there are no niggers here so theres no reason to check everyone since everyone is expected not to steal or cheat.
 
waffle said:
I don't understand why you retarded assholes can't have a multi faceted reading of the bible where Jesus is saying that it is both wrong to molest kids and to lead fellow believers astray at the same time - and one is like the other in a lot of ways. Like he's some kind of smart guy or something...
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Funny, in any other situation, fence riding would be considered a bad thing.
 
bro LOOK AT THIS SHIT

they've been charging me $100/yr, I had set this up like 6 years ago for someone else and had put it on a personal card like a retard. i went to finally cancel this shit and this was the cancellation process.

first, finding the fucking cancel button is an insane task. It's under billing but beneath all your invoices. cancel is a plain link. there is no way to cancel from the subscription page or your license page.

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second, "lets make this right". they offer to let you contact someone for help in case you're a retard.

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third, a HUGE fuckoff page with all sorts of bullshit that serves no purpose except adding another 3000 pixels to scroll past to find cancel.

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fourth, a confirmation page explaining YOU'RE A LOSER!! LOSING BIG BENEFITS!!! it even makes you click a little box to make sure you're SERIOUS.
(consumer reporting agencies find that every single click in a cancellation system has dropoffs)

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page five, you gotta tell em why. if you don't tell em why, they won't let you proceed. you can't just skip past this shit. you have to write something.

this one is the WORST page, because this one actually tripped me up and made me think that the cancellation was confirmed. The "We're sorry to see you go" message makes it look like it's all said and done, but it's accepting optional feedback. this is NOT the case, this is NOT a cancellation page, this is another cling page.


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page six, now they're really desperate. Look, just click this button to get a fucking discount, idiot! we'll let you stop this shit if you just let us take 40$ a year instead!

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page seven is the actual cancellation page, but there's a caveat: this is the ONLY PAGE where the primary button (green) is the cancel button. All prior pages emphasize the stay subscribed, but on THIS ONE they play a trick where if you click the faded button it just takes you back to the main page so you have to start all over again.

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Their site is also slow as fuck. Each of these pages takes 5+ seconds to load. Google shows that the average web consumer these days expects loading times under 0.75 seconds. This is literal psychological warfare on the customer.

Every single page made me sit and stare for several seconds wondering if it finally got cancelled. These pages all look like cancel confirmation pages with other alternatives but none
 
Null said:
Their site is also slow as fuck. Each of these pages takes 5+ seconds to load. Google shows that the average web consumer these days expects loading times under 0.75 seconds. This is literal psychological warfare on the customer.

Every single page made me sit and stare for several seconds wondering if it finally got cancelled. These pages all look like cancel confirmation pages with other alternatives but none
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I've even heard normies complaining about shit like this. It's been coming up more frequently in normie discussions, how long and drawn-out the cancellation process can be, last several family gatherings feature relatives bitching about some service being hard to cancel. I usually reply something like "yeah it should be illegal to make it harder to cancel than it is to sign up in the first place" and get a chorus of agreement. If the normies are aware and constantly complaining as I've seen, maybe something will get done. Maybe.
 
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