Careercow Jack Russell Scalfani / Cooking With Jack / Jack on the Go Show / jakatak - YouTube "Celebrity" "Chef", Living Encyclopedia of Gluttony-Induced Maladies, Salmonella Elemental

[Guntanator]

He boiled that frozen fruit with that syrup that he poured over top at liquid hot temps. Tammy gave me the best line of this video "it's not bad it's just .... Weird". Yes, just like your life I suppose.

 

[AltisticRight]

Are Amish deathsquads a thing?
Surely Scalfatty's culinary catastrophes warrants the death penalty twenty times.

 

[souschef]

God took the wrong Jack. Why this Margarine Elemental lives after 5 strokes? This is the Jack we could have, but unfortunately God took him and left Jack Scalfani so he could punish us for our hubris

 

[ILikeYou]

He didn't think that pouring boiling liquid over a bunch of crushed pretzels, frozen fruit, with fake sugar and salt, and a ton of jello, might taste nasty and make a soggy mess? Does he just throw it in the fridge uncovered? I get the sense he doesn't realize leaving it uncovered can make it pick up odors from the fridge, and who knows what's lingering in there, considering the year old brisket he dug out of his freezer for church chili, and his 'garbage stew' with a festering onion from his fridge, that by his own admission was 'about to start oozing.'

Tammy looks quite disgusted while eating it. Do you think she actually brought that in to her work, to share with co-workers, like he mentioned?? I imagine it goes straight in the trash after everyone claims they're 'not really hungry, stuffed right now, just ate' etc.

Jack seems like the type to think that any professional, in any area, really only succeeds and becomes a 'master of their craft' because of bravado and bluster alone. Like, I can imagine him thinking that mathematicians just are good at pretending to know what they're doing, rather than actually coming out w/ the exact right numbers. And that chefs, like the ones he tries to emulate, just acted like their shit didn't stink and so the world became convinced it didn't.

A person making real Amish fruit pizza, which turns out lovely, in the link:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Fa2xmlO9To4

 

[TheMovieGuy]

Jack just definitively confirmed on his livestream that he will be redoing the lime egg video and that he will explain what the screw up was in the video. I hope he finds a way to fuck up even worse.

 

[Gulls on Film]

When I think of Amish cooking I think about crushed up bagged pretzels, pineapple jello and brown sugar substitute.
(bonus: this stupid nigger thinks pizzas have to be round)

As someone who enjoys traveling to a nearby Amish area in my state to wander around the farmer's markets and countryside, I have never seen anything that remotely looks like this homunculus of a dessert.

 

[p1138]

Jack just definitively confirmed on his livestream that he will be redoing the lime egg video and that he will explain what the screw up was in the video. I hope he finds a way to fuck up even worse.

I can't wait till he fucks up reading and buys some industrial calcium hypochlorite instead of calcium hydroxide.

 

[Slavic Patronym]

Tuned into 10 minutes of Jack's livestream today (gods, these things are awful):

"You guys wanted more fast food"

So I guess the implication is we can't be mad at him for the fact he keeps killing himself by eating terribly? Because "we" asked for it. (And also he has no choice but to do what other people tell him to do.)

"There's a lot of struggling going on over there"

I rewound this part three times because I kept thinking I missed the geographic location he was talking about. Turns out he was just talking about the fast food industry. Which, one, who cares? And two, why is he humanizing an industry?

Spoiler: God, he sucks.

Moments like this are sneaky clues that Jack only larps as a person who feels anything.

Too tired to look it up right now, but I bet "inappropriate empathy" is a sign of narcissism. Since Jack cares about nothing but himself, and maybe extensions of himself like his (good) son, he is always play-acting empathy, which is why it always comes out dumb and cringe -- he's not an actor.

It feels like a tic that evolved as a defense against the accusation, and the self-realization, that he lacks empathy: he shoehorns "being really nice" into moments that don't call for it. Moments that actual nice people wouldn't react that way to at all. You see this also with his performative flattery of waitresses for being "oh my gosh guys so sweet" when probably all they did was the bare minimum for their job and a decent tip.

Jack yells at Siri / his phone about something

Siri: [Doesn't immediately return a perfect answer]
Jack: Stupid!!!
Siri: [Fails again or something]
Jack: You're an idiot!
Siri: That's not nice.
Jack: [Snarling] I don't care!

Someone recommends Jack do South African Food Month "in honor" of Elmo

Jack says he would never do anything "in honor" of Elmo but does reveal: "I love when people say he shouldn't look at our money information... he wasn't elected, blah blah blah. What's he gonna do? Steal your money? He's a billionaire!"

Spoiler: Some logical conclusions

Confirmed: Laws don't apply to billionaires, and people don't commit crimes if it appears they would have no reason to. This is why rapists are never rich, famous and attractive, you see, and is also why the already-very-wealthy are known for how little penny-pinching they do and how little tax fraud they commit.

Someone recommends he do African Food Month

Jack dismisses this idea flatly and instantly as "boring." Not sure how you come to that conclusion for the second-largest continent on the planet, which has Mediterranean influence to the north, French and English along the coasts and even Asian to the east thanks to the Indian Ocean. But OK.

Jack has never heard of biltong or fufu.

And uses this chance to remind us: "See, guys! I'm not perfect!" What a strange (see: narcissistic) reaction to have every single time someone teaches you a word you don't know.

"Here's the best news of all... In-N-Out is leaving California because they're relocating their national corporate office to Tennessee! Even though I don't eat that, I'm excited for the people of Tennessee to try In-N-Out!"

He's excited for people to eat "poison."

 

[abobe]

This faggot is still going on about the Super Bowl halftime show.

Rob messes with Jack after Jack gets mad at the AI on his phone for not being able to locate the Taco Bell in Nashville that serves alcohol.

 

[p1138]

This faggot is still going on about the Super Bowl halftime show.

View attachment 6985687

Rob messes with Jack after Jack gets mad at the AI on his phone for not being able to locate the Taco Bell in Nashville that serves alcohol.

View attachment 6985689

Is there even a modern NFL team that isn't at least 60% black?
This link has it at 25% white https://www.statista.com/statistics/1167935/racial-diversity-nfl-players/
This one has it at 24% white https://www.zippia.com/advice/nfl-demographics-financials/

So why the fuck not have a bunch of black people for the halftime show? If Fatty wants a team sport full of mostly white people... watch hockey.

 

[Agamemnon Busmalis]

The Convoy of Hope fundraiser has still not increased from the $428 from months ago.

 

[Whaler]

When I think of Amish cooking I think about crushed up bagged pretzels, pineapple jello and brown sugar substitute.
(bonus: this stupid nigger thinks pizzas have to be round)

Watching Tammy struggle to get a piece of that...whatever, was fucking awful, especially since she ended up using her other hand to not make a mess while taking a bite. Is anybody in that house even close to being somewhat intelligent?

 

[Mechanical Pencil]

If Fatty wants a team sport full of mostly white people... watch hockey.

Hockey players don't wear tight pants that tingle Jack's dingle. Rugby players wear short cut shorts right? That'd probably be a better recommendation.

 

[p1138]

Hockey players don't wear tight pants that tingle Jack's dingle. Rugby players wear short cut shorts right? That'd probably be a better recommendation.

Assuming Fatty could even figure out how to watch rugby matches, do you really think he'd do anything but complain about how they're playing football wrong?

 

[charlesdickens]

Tammy looking pretty big in that Amish pizza video. I know she's morbidly obese, but I thought she was making some feeble attempt to lose weight too. They look like when people wear those inflatable sumo costumes and bump bellies.

 

[densedance]

This faggot is still going on about the Super Bowl halftime show.

View attachment 6985687

"Chinese National Anthem, if that even does exist?"

You can tell this fat faggot feels himself really important whenever he's making those podcasts with that stupid Microphone infront of his face.

 

[densedance]

 

[Candidae]

Then he doesn't thicken up the glaze, just dumps it on, still boiling.

This part had me in stitches. The recipe clearly states to let the glaze cool before pouring it on and it's obvious why. You can watch it melt the cream cheese and effectively mix itself throughout the whole dish turning it into a batter of soggy cream cheese, limp fruits and hot pineapple gelatin. The icing on top is him admitting it looks funny, but instead of double checking the recipe (because he couldn't have gotten something wrong), he doubles down claiming this is in fact what the recipe said to do when he could have realised his mistake and started over. Not just for the sake of the video, but as someone making a dish for his wife's work.

I bust a gut again when Jack explained the reason he recommended less gelatin than he used earlier was because tammy felt the dish was overall too gelatiny. Instead of making the basic connection that his gelatin, instead of being contained as a glaze, mixed through the dish and maybe that was why the whole thing tastes of it.

Also I don't think the idea of this recipe is terrible as a cheat or no-bake cheesecake. If the bottom layer was graham crackers and butter, the middle was non soggy fruits (either drained or fresh) folded into or layered on top of cream cheese whipped up with some sugar (or without if one is cutting down), with an actual glaze on top, I think it could be tasty. If you used frozen fruits the drained juices could be used for the glaze (jello works to thicken without starch or to a more jelly texture if desired) and poured on top when cooled. Then put the whole thing in the fridge until fully set and you have a no bake "cheesecake" glazed and ready for guests.

 

[souschef]

This part had me in stitches. The recipe clearly states to let the glaze cool before pouring it on and it's obvious why. You can watch it melt the cream cheese and effectively mix itself throughout the whole dish turning it into a batter of soggy cream cheese, limp fruits and hot pineapple gelatin. The icing on top is him admitting it looks funny, but instead of double checking the recipe (because he couldn't have gotten something wrong), he doubles down claiming this is in fact what the recipe said to do when he could have realised his mistake and started over. Not just for the sake of the video, but as someone making a dish for his wife's work.

I bust a gut again when Jack explained the reason he recommended less gelatin than he used earlier was because tammy felt the dish was overall too gelatiny. Instead of making the basic connection that his gelatin, instead of being contained as a glaze, mixed through the dish and maybe that was why the whole thing tastes of it.

Also I don't think the idea of this recipe is terrible as a cheat or no-bake cheesecake. If the bottom layer was graham crackers and butter, the middle was non soggy fruits (either drained or fresh) folded into or layered on top of cream cheese whipped up with some sugar (or without if one is cutting down), with an actual glaze on top, I think it could be tasty. If you used frozen fruits the drained juices could be used for the glaze (jello works to thicken without starch or to a more jelly texture if desired) and poured on top when cooled. Then put the whole thing in the fridge until fully set and you have a no bake "cheesecake" glazed and ready for guests.

JACK CAN'T UNDERSTAND TEXTURES, HE DOESN'T KNOW HOW EMULSIONS WORK

I remember his hilarious "Tso Chicken" video were he is absolutely clueless how cornstarch work. He tries to make a revolutionary slurry, unlike me, a plebeian that uses just a little cornstarch and water, he used water, half a pound of cornstarch and a fucking egg. Of course, it became glue. He looked so damn surprised watching the sauce thicken too... IDS AMAZING GUYS, IT THICKEN JUST LIKE THAT, POOF

At least he didnt use jell-o as a thickening agent so horraay

 

[Falcon Sebben]

Jack dismisses this idea flatly and instantly as "boring." Not sure how you come to that conclusion for the second-largest continent on the planet, which has Mediterranean influence to the north, French and English along the coasts and even Asian to the east thanks to the Indian Ocean. But OK.

Such a huge area to choose from and some truly amazing food from that continent. Jollof rice. Groundnut stew, Peri Peri chicken and sure there's some Portuguese influence there but who the hell cares. It's fucking delicious.

Is there even a modern NFL team that isn't at least 60% black?
This link has it at 25% white https://www.statista.com/statistics/1167935/racial-diversity-nfl-players/
This one has it at 24% white https://www.zippia.com/advice/nfl-demographics-financials/

So why the fuck not have a bunch of black people for the halftime show? If Fatty wants a team sport full of mostly white people... watch hockey.

But it's WOKE so it's automatically BAD.

Tammy looking pretty big in that Amish pizza video. I know she's morbidly obese, but I thought she was making some feeble attempt to lose weight too. They look like when people wear those inflatable sumo costumes and bump bellies.

She lost a bit when they were doing Profile by Sandford but she's like Fatty and just eats way too much.

Also I don't think the idea of this recipe is terrible as a cheat or no-bake cheesecake. If the bottom layer was graham crackers and butter, the middle was non soggy fruits (either drained or fresh) folded into or layered on top of cream cheese whipped up with some sugar (or without if one is cutting down), with an actual glaze on top, I think it could be tasty. If you used frozen fruits the drained juices could be used for the glaze (jello works to thicken without starch or to a more jelly texture if desired) and poured on top when cooled. Then put the whole thing in the fridge until fully set and you have a no bake "cheesecake" glazed and ready for guests.

There's a decent recipe in there but Fatty is just too retarded to actually make it. He slavishly follows any recipe while making his own changes to it and but doesn't bother to actually think about what he's doing.