Modern Torture Methods For The Petty Individual

[McMitch]

Have you considered the jeetshaker?
View attachment 7053714

Jeetshaker serves a public good by relocating people who are unwilling to adopt the surrounding culture of not destroying home property of the country they invaded moved to. OP is petulantly wasting peoples’ time and money simply because he thinks there’s no repercussions. Literally one degree away from SWATing people.

 

[Meth Dick]

If I see a YouTube thumbnail that includes black people I report it as "violent or repulsive content". One day the AI will catch on.

Shit that's a really good idea. I just hit "do not recommend" but I like your style better.

 

[Tom Malvoro Riddle]

am i the asshole, reddit?

edit: thanks for the gold kind stranger

 

[Mortan Shekelstorm]

Have you considered the jeetshaker?
View attachment 7053714

Beat me to posting it. I can however add that the reddit jeets fear the shaker.


Edit:Jeet shaker in action:

 

[Meth Dick]

Take an empty two liter and fill it about a quarter of the way with piss and shit. The easiest way to do the shit is to use a funnel and either have diarrhea or just shit in the funnel and ram it down with something. Anyway, then you just stuff some rods of dry ice in it and make a dry ice piss and shit bomb.

I did this as a kid except it was the tiny little booze bottles and tobacco spit and I'd drop them in people I didn't likes cars if they left their windows cracked open in the summer, one of those little m-80 firecrackers, the fuse burns still underwater and light it drop in quick, tighten the cap and drop the payload in their seat

It doesn't. No such thing as a true "burner" phone in this day and age.

I fucking hate the future

I put shopping carts back in in the cart bay incorrect just to annoy the jeets that collect them. For example put it it diagonally so it takes up a lot of room or put the cuck cart in where there is full sized cart and visa versa

I'm always conflicted with the shopping cart dilemma. On one hand it seems very niggerish to not return your cart. On the other hand the people that screech and cry about not returning it are the biggest fucking fags (see Cart Narcs) and I don't want to appease them either.

 

[Nicholas Gur]

I don't understand the point of putting this level of thought into fucking with random people when surely anyone that actually interacts with people in public should have a list of victims that deserve to be fucked with.

 

[Agamemnon Busmalis]

I have a very odd sense of humor. I've always wanted to lockpick some person I hate's house, move all their furniture, and leave. Locking the door behind me of course.

The Stasi used to do that. They're probably the go-to reference for modern psychological torture methods.

 

[Party Hat Wurmple]

Edit: the site managed to cancel the order after 6 drivers went to the store and then bailed, refunding me everything. This is completely free, so there isn't even a financial repercussion.

Well I found my new favorite nightly activity.

but why

There's a tremendous amount of joy I feel in slightly inconveniencing everyone else's life. I love nothing more than to go out of my way to make someone's day slightly worse. It's my favorite hobby and past time. Anything I can do to make someone a little angry gets me all giddy inside.

I'm always conflicted with the shopping cart dilemma. On one hand it seems very niggerish to not return your cart. On the other hand the people that screech and cry about not returning it are the biggest fucking fags (see Cart Narcs) and I don't want to appease them either.

I never return shopping carts. We have people who do that for us. It is called cart running and they get paid good money to do it. That is for the help to do. Besides, there is no need for this cart corralling. You know what exists? Shopping carts that can only be unlocked with quarters. You stick a quarter in, shopping cart unlocks, when you return it, you take your quarter back. This problem has been solved decades ago. You don't need to do it. Nobody ever needs to fucking do cart running. This problem is completely irrelevant. Instead, stores go out of their way to do this and make it a problem. So you know what? Fuck em. If they're not going to force me to return my shopping cart, I won't.

On a side note, I love just sitting my cart in the direction of the nicest vehicle I can find in my immediate vicinity on a windy day and let nature take it's course.

 

[PonderosaPete]

Just reply to someone who doesn't like you and watch them seethe

 

[Meth Dick]

You know what exists? Shopping carts that can only be unlocked with quarters.

I don't live in niggerville so even schools with security cameras is a rarity.
I have never once in my life every seen or been to a grocery store that has rentable carts.
The closest shit I've ever seen to that is those rentable scooters but I think what little nigger population we do have has busted those when they realized they can't ride them for free because I haven't even seen those things in forever.

 

[Coldgrip]

Just reply to someone who doesn't like you and watch them seethe

I know right?

 

[President Joe Biden]

There's also a Kiwi who had to resort to levels of tomfoolery to protect their property: https://kiwifarms.net/threads/my-pr...usic-broadcast-to-repel-urban-hoodlums.53417/

 

[We Are The Witches]

For years, someone has been tossing/spraying soda on my parked vehicle. At first, this was terribly concerning, and with time the amount of fluids developed a jam/gum inside my door making the lock freeze shut all winter. And all summer it builds up these dirty tarballs wherever the syrup dries out. Sometimes, the soda sprayer stops spraying my truck for a month or more, but eventually, they start back up again. It has become one of the constants in my life.

All it costs this asshole is one or two mouthfuls of soda per day... which, if taken in total... must amount to over 100$ of pepsi by now.

Where do you park, that this retard always has the chance of doing this? I assume you've considered having cameras.

Thay also told you to hide in order to catch them. If one idiot becomes a freaking constant in your life, then he is a target, get him.

 

[Freshly Baked Socks]

Where do you park, that this retard always has the chance of doing this?

Without being specific, Main Street, West Coast Liberal Shithole Metropolis. I'm mostly glad every day that the tires aren't all slashed and I have to contact my insurance.

I assume you've considered having cameras.

Yeah, but spending hundreds of dollars on cameras and dozens of hours reviewing video won't change a damned thing.

Thay also told you to hide in order to catch them.

And tickle their toes?

If one idiot becomes a freaking constant in your life, then he is a target, get him.

Unfortunately, everything they have done isn't criminal, and I'm not seeking to get myself put on probation for a real crime today.

 

[We Are The Witches]

Without being specific, Main Street, West Coast Liberal Shithole Metropolis.

Yeah, but spending hundreds of dollars on cameras and dozens of hours reviewing video won't change a damned thing.

And tickle their toes?

Unfortunately, everything they have done isn't criminal, and I'm not seeking to get myself put on probation for a real crime today.

No, you get them to the authorities, you record them, etc, or file a report.

It may be considered defacing/similar, so that they may be punished. You can consult these things on here (you can ask them based on your state):
https://www.avvo.com/

* Consider the responses as educated suggestions from supposed professionals, not specific legal advice.

 

[Smokeski]

When i was in high school during election season we'd steal everyones yard signs and put them all in one person's lawn. Thats about the extent of the tomfoolery i got up to. We'd also make a lot of prank phone calls. Like calling a gambling hotline and telling them i sold my kids to the yakuza to pay off gambling debt. One time i called this christian help line and told them i switched my baby at the hospital because i thought it was retarded, and the lady on the other end lost her shit. I got exorcised one time on a call too. I stopped doing though since im pretty much just tying up resources for people who really need it.

 

[Prokhor Zakharov]

so im not the only one that does the uber trick


go one further, don't replace the toilet roll either

Remove the toiler paper rolls from every stall. Or even better, put each toilet paper roll in the toilet, so they can feel the anguish of seeing the toilet paper, but not being able to use it.

 

[lolcow yoghurt]

OP sounds like a nigger

 

[neger psykolog]

Spoiler

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lol @ mod adding spoiler tags

I guess I lived up to the thread's title (thanks for the sweeping janny)

 

[Troon_Patrol]

I sexually harass telemarketers who call me unsolicited.

I pretend to be interested in using their services like SEO for my small company I own. The SEO scam is at best %50 of the time a scam anyway; and then I start asking them what they are wearing and keep asking inappropriate questions like what are they wearing? Some are brave and try to call my bluff but, eventually they all hang up the more vulgar I get.

I only did this once. There were some niggers at the local grocery store stealing all the expensive merch, mostly laundry detergent. The mall copy is yelling at them but to afraid to be fired if he does anything more than record their plate and yell he'll call the real police. They are loading tons of shit into the back of some shitty chevy too distracted by the mall cop. I take a out a Leatherman tool and yank the schrader valves out of the two front tires while they are not looking. This will flatten a tire in about 13 seconds and costs barely anything to repair.