DarksydePhil / TheyCallMeDSP / Phil Burnell: General Discussion #2

[UsedUp]

All that money was I'm sorry daddy for balling out on Lex stream.

You're here forever, dents.

 

[Cucktry Roads]

This feels exactly like the May Marathon last year. For anyone who wasn't around/doesn't remember that (It was the infamous Noita pigroach luck stream) that was the first time IronChefsakai appeared with the story of "Been watching you for over a decade, you helped me while my dad was going through Chemo. Here's some money for all the good times." Then donates like 600 bucks over that entire stream.

Just watch to see if this Mike Dutch shit turns out the same way. Although, like I said earlier today, that name sounds familiar, like he's donated before.

 

[The GOUT-HATERS Handbook]

He forgot to turn off the stream after raiding Kino lmao

Edit: He quickly realized and made a shit joke. What's interesting is that he came in from the left instead of the right as he usually does.

 

[BlastMonk]

Phil made another 'joke' that only agay guy in the closet would make. He hanged up on the introduction phone call
"I should listen to the phone guy? FUCK the phone guy, he can kiss my ass. what he couldnt't call me (?) n fucking make, you know, trying to ask me out on a date or somehting on my first night of work?"

 

[DerelictOnion]

The phone guy should have sent him an e-mail first.

 

[dent_whisperer]

DSP would unironically be a great neurolinguistic programmer or MKULTRA scientist.

"ACTIVATE operator Derish - ACTIVATION PHRASE: BBC Cuckold scene with 2 gay guys and that one lesbian chick who killed herself using a shotgun. Fried rice, plum juice. WWE, TSM TSM TSM."

Spends money with abandon, takes absolutely no responsibility even for problems he is 100% responsible for, shifting morals based on how much money it will get him, no care for who he destroys in the process of getting money... Phil would be ultimate politician if he ever had the desire to do more then the be a lazy bastard.

 

[BPD Gunt Rider]

If he was getting divorced, his parents were dying or any other major event was actually happening he would be laying the groundwork for his saying "there was nothing I could do" now and not being vague about it. He'd also be monetizing it heavily. It's a nothingburger.

Divorce is one that Phil will do everything to hide. Detractors keep hoping for the divorce arc because it's the one thing that breaks Phil's foundation as a Mature Adult.

Parents dying, though. Oh yeah, he's collecting those pity bux. He's probably been hoping for it for years.

 

[Elbe]

Meanwhile, some Internet Nobody wannabe named Mike Dutch is handing out $180 in SuperChats (on top of the $30 he SuperChatted earlier), and is responsible for over 50% of all contributions so far.

https://www.youtube.com/@MikeDutch

https://www.twitch.tv/mikedutch

https://www.instagram.com/mikedutchpodcast/

https://x.com/xxDutch23xx

This shit's so surreal.

Iron Dent most likely. He's still lurking and simping, believing he's the puppet-master etc.

It's not hard to find fossilized channels to larp as.

 

[RougeRed]

Gourmet Phil describing the teriyaki chicken with his vast foodie knowledge:
"It's moist, it's juicy, it's chewy, and it has a teriyaki flavor."
"The teriyaki sauce is bowlth savory and sweet"
"The char gives it an added charcoal flavor"
"This is from a hybrid fusion place"
We also got an "mmm!" and several "yummy!"s.
View attachment 7077800View attachment 7077803

He's eating like an alien pig and somehow managed to get imitation crab on his shoulder. No wonder Khet doesn't want to sit across the table from this:
View attachment 7077817View attachment 7077819

Every one of his food streams results in at least one screenshot that splits my sides. Thank you.

 

[The GOUT-HATERS Handbook]

He hung up the phone call that's supposed to introduce you to the game:

View attachment 7077494
Meanwhile, some Internet Nobody wannabe named Mike Dutch is handing out $180 in SuperChats (on top of the $30 he SuperChatted earlier), and is responsible for over 50% of all contributions so far.

https://www.youtube.com/@MikeDutch

https://www.twitch.tv/mikedutch

https://www.instagram.com/mikedutchpodcast/

https://x.com/xxDutch23xx

This shit's so surreal.

Thanks for doing the heavy lifting. Seems like this guy was a rust streamer turned crypto "podcaster".

Email: mikedutchpodcast@gmail.com (I didn't get any hits).
Discord Server: Dutch's Coffee Shop. Invite link
Steam Group: https://steamcommunity.com/groups/MikeDutch

It seems like at some point he was a semi-successful podcaster. According to an archive of an old livestream, at some point he hosted a show called Trader's Reality. Interestingly, there's a YouTube channel of the same name ran by some indian guy that Mike himself was a guest on. I'm not sure the extent of his involvement, but some tech channel who shout Mike out said he was an important guy behind the scenes.

There's a community post from 3 years ago suggests he wiped all of his content, promising an archive that never came to fruition. Socialblade confirms he purged his YouTube around that time.



His old Twitch VODs are still up. He has an invite link to a discord server in his about page.





Then there's Kim, the other turbodent who claimed to be Mike's wife:


Information about her is scarce in comparison, but she doesn't seem like a sock imo. I was easily able to find her via Mike's content. Her YouTube is empty.

https://www.youtube.com/@Kim-sv3mf

 

[CannedBacon]

Just when I'm convinced the ship is finally sinking from reading the thread; I'm reminded why Phil is called pig roach. How is he able to still bring in over $1200?

 

[dent_whisperer]

How is he able to still bring in over $1200?

Literal retards.

 

[The GOUT-HATERS Handbook]

It seems like at some point he was a semi-successful podcaster. According to an archive of an old livestream, at some point he hosted a show called Trader's Reality. Interestingly, there's a YouTube channel of the same name ran by some indian guy that Mike himself was a guest on. I'm not sure the extent of his involvement, but some tech channel who shout Mike out said he was an important guy behind the scenes.

Follow-up since I ran out of edit time because I'm an autistic faggot who spends way too long editing:
Mike's affiliation with Trader's Reality is as recent as two months ago, when he was their point of contact for a giveaway.

According to Mike's streamlabs board, his #6 paypig is "Kim" (his wife), and his #1 and #3 paypig is none other than the same tech channel who shout Mike out.

In conclusion/TL;DR: un/fortunately, this Mike Dutch guy checks all the boxes for a DSP whale: he has access to a shitton of money (rich from crypto shit), is mentally retarded (cryptobro), and has enablers (his wife). It couldn't have happened at a better time for Phil.

 

[The Southwest Strangla]

The next “reward” is this middle aged man eating Girl Scout cookies. Really? What the fuck is this? This is lazy. Like even more lazy than him eating a burger. Inb4 he will only get one box since “THEY COST LIKE 25 EACH!!! PAY ME MORE NOW!!!” He’s going to demand more donos for this lazy ass shit.
Also, him, for years, saying FNAF is an easy “kids” game while losing is the funnest shit ever. Ten year olds are better “gamers” than this middle aged man. How did he past college?

 

[dent_whisperer]

The next “reward” is this middle aged man eating Girl Scout cookies. Really? What the fuck is this? This is lazy. Like even more lazy than him eating a burger. Inb4 he will only get one box since “THEY COST LIKE 25 EACH!!! PAY ME MORE NOW!!!” He’s going to demand more donos for this lazy ass shit.
Also, him, for years, saying FNAF is an easy “kids” game while losing is the funnest shit ever. Ten year olds are better “gamers” than this middle aged man. How did he past college?

RIP those shortbread cookies. They deserve a better end then being consumed by a horse and her retarded pig cockroach hybrid husband.

 

[The Southwest Strangla]

RIP those shortbread cookies. They deserve a better end then ending up in the stomach of a horse and a retarded pig cockroach hybrid.

Honestly, he most likely get one or two packs and bitch about it. I think he might not even get them for one reason: he has to go out and find them. He can’t order them on doordash and he can’t Amazon them. He will bitch about it and refuse to get them. I’m sure he’s going to replace it with something that takes less effort. He might just get one store bought pack of cookies from Walmart and call it a day.
Any dents that reads this, listen to me, this is your faults and you all deserve your money taken away by this failure of a middle aged man

 

[dent_whisperer]

Honestly, he most likely get one or two packs and bitch about it. I think he might not even get them for one reason: he has to go out and find them. He can’t order them on doordash and he can’t Amazon them. He will bitch about it and refuse to get them. I’m sure he’s going to replace it with something that takes less effort. He might just get one store bought pack of cookies from Walmart and call it a day.
Any dents that reads this, listen to me, this is your faults and you all deserve your money taken away by this failure of a middle aged man

If he went at the right time he could even get them for free. I was at Lowes the other day and there were some Girls Scouts that were packing up and giving away free packages of cookies they had extra and I walked away with an armload of Do-si-do's and Trefoils without paying a single cent.

 

[The GOUT-HATERS Handbook]

Honestly, he most likely get one or two packs and bitch about it. I think he might not even get them for one reason: he has to go out and find them. He can’t order them on doordash and he can’t Amazon them. He will bitch about it and refuse to get them. I’m sure he’s going to replace it with something that takes less effort. He might just get one store bought pack of cookies from Walmart and call it a day.
Any dents that reads this, listen to me, this is your faults and you all deserve your money taken away by this failure of a middle aged man

This is Phil, he's going to buy one of each and maybe thirty on the road for Kat.

Trefoils

Thanks for the tip, but I wish you a painful death for getting Trefoils, even if they were free.

 

[Burl McMillan]

Yeah everyone knows it's thin mints or nothing.

 

[The Southwest Strangla]

If he went at the right time he could even get them for free. I was at Lowes the other day and there were some Girls Scouts that were packing up and giving away free packages of cookies they had extra and I walked away with an armload of Do-si-do's and Trefoils without paying a single cent.

Even if he gets them for free, he would bitch if he’s not getting 150 right from the start

This is Phil, he's going to buy one of each and maybe thirty on the road for Kat.

I’m sure he won’t. Kat would want some thin mints but he would say “it would be cheaper to buy Walmart’s brand” and refuse to get them

Yeah everyone knows it's thin mints or nothing.

Tagalongs are the GOAT