Kelly Lenza / LividLipids / softbodytendermind / ass_child / photopotamus - "Radical body liberationist”, Intentionally Repulsive, Uber woke middle-aged SJW influencer wannabe, doxed her former therapist for getting WLS, ate her way to heart failure

I get the eggs cracked in a bowl but it’s too small because I haven’t done the dishes in 4 days because I’ve been pushing myself too hard doing everything else that needed to be done and am now in a PEM flare.
This paragraph is so symptomatic of all of these muppets - they can never just be stressed out or a bit overwhelmed. No, it’s gotta be a ”flare” of this or that, because they’re too goddamn special for normal human experiences. Vicky Markhoff is the GOAT at this, but Kelly is a close second.

Then again, I believe I’m experiencing some PEM myself after reading her drivel. Gotta go lie down.
 
Her problem is that she isn’t present and living in the now, she is busy living a separate narrative in her head about all the things that are going on because she probably has some untreated depression /anxiety/ mental illness stuff and all the toxic person traits and she’s just taken a step back from it and detached and everything in her life is to try and have escapism. Very common in dysfunctional toxic people with addiction and disorders and all that stuff. God only knows what made her this way, it’s passed down and yeah, why the hell is she catering to the kids trying to make the eggs a certain shape? Somebody send supernanny over there!!!! For real! I’d love to see that episode. The kids are left to fend for themselves with no boundaries or limits or routines or socialization, moms off in gender furry fetlife la la self destruct oblivion, the dad is checked out and probably a workaholic, the one kid is afraid of the other, it’s like they are all living in solitary confinement while in the guise of being a family. Nothing can be done for the kids unless they get older and get serious help and most people who need it the most either never find it or take it. We can pray for the girls.

Edit: you should probably mark me late as im just stating the obvious. But I’ll leave it here cause it’s important to pray for the girls,
 
Last edited:
@sperginity : observations about the term "dysregulation"
"Dysregulation" is a therapy term, usually used for people with Histrionic or Borderline-type emotional outbursts. Everyone who misuses it is weaponizing therapy language, as the sort of person who would encounter that term in the course of their therapy (or scrolling social media for hashtag-mental-health or hashtag-therapy content) is wont to do.

When I used it in reference to Kelly and her kids, I meant it in the actual clinical way. She's a Cluster B trainwreck and she's raising her daughters to be the same.

It's totally possible for some people to outgrow that type of upbringing. But, indeed, the people who most need help with that (maybe because they also inherited the Cluster B genome rather than just grew up around and were taught to model heavily Cluster B behavior) are the least likely to actually seek help out, engage in good faith with it, or see positive results from it.
 
She could have scrambled 2 eggs and nuked a hotdog in the time it took for her "home coffee" to brew. She could have also at least started loading the dishwasher in that time, too.

And I understand setting boundaries around meal times and things, but if your kid has eaten nothing but ice cream treats all day and starts begging for protein right before bed? That's on you, you fucked that one up. Make that kid a scrambled egg and learn your lesson.
 
kid #1 asks for eggs at 7:45 PM last night. We say last bedtime snacks before 8 PM.
‘It’s too late. You can have a glass of milk and we will do eggs in the morning.’ This is too late for kids to eat. They need a bit of time before bed for food to go down. Once in a while if you’ve all got in late from an adventure is fine but this is chaos
dilly bars that she peeled all the coating off of and replaced with huge puddles of Hershey’s syrup like multiple times.
That’s just revolting. And so bad for the kid. Once a week for that kind of stuff max. Set a ‘sweets on Saturday’ rule or whatever. If they peeled off a bit and wasted the rest I wouldnt buy it again. One of her kids is diabetic, she shouldn’t be even having stuff like that in the house
The whole dynamic is that she hates and resents the kids, the kids have no ability to self regulate, they know on some deep level their mum doesn’t like them and they are hitting out at each other and her in response. Those poor girls don’t stand a chance. They will grow up unhealthy, unloved and they will struggle to form healthy habits and have decent relationships. It is so sad.
I get that young families can be busy bordering on chaos. Our house is often a complete mess (it’s not unhygienic, just the usual chaos from kids and pets and parents who work.) it doesn’t have to be perfect, but what’s really important is the dynamic. Kelly can fuck her own life up as much as she likes but darn it woman look after them kids.
 
Also, I'm not a parent, but is it hard to feed your kids breakfast before you feed yourself? They just wanted fucking eggs.
Yeah, even though the kids are out of control, I have to stand up for kid #1 here. She asked for eggs at bedtime, was told no but that she could have eggs in the morning, and then ... expected eggs in the morning. Not her mom browsing Fetlife for half an hour first. Sure she could be more patient but even well-behaved kids have issues with impatience.
 
Yeah, even though the kids are out of control, I have to stand up for kid #1 here. She asked for eggs at bedtime, was told no but that she could have eggs in the morning, and then ... expected eggs in the morning. Not her mom browsing Fetlife for half an hour first. Sure she could be more patient but even well-behaved kids have issues with impatience.
I noticed that she had set a timer to drink her coffee and then "locked down (her) profile" with the kids looking over her shoulder, before even beginning to bother getting the kids breakfast. I'm hoping it wasn't her FetLife account, but I think we can be reasonably certain that it was and her kids got a full view of it.
 
"Dysregulation" is a therapy term, usually used for people with Histrionic or Borderline-type emotional outbursts. Everyone who misuses it is weaponizing therapy language, as the sort of person who would encounter that term in the course of their therapy (or scrolling social media for hashtag-mental-health or hashtag-therapy content) is wont to do.

When I used it in reference to Kelly and her kids, I meant it in the actual clinical way. She's a Cluster B trainwreck and she's raising her daughters to be the same.

It's totally possible for some people to outgrow that type of upbringing. But, indeed, the people who most need help with that (maybe because they also inherited the Cluster B genome rather than just grew up around and were taught to model heavily Cluster B behavior) are the least likely to actually seek help out, engage in good faith with it, or see positive results from it.
This I have to slightly disagree with and have to point out something else. This is such general broad therapy speak term that it may seem like it’s cluster b related due to misuse but with this. It’s not. not with these girls. Kelly has gone out of her way to try to imply autism with herself and her own kiddos many times. Emotional Dysregulation has been used regarding people with autism for ages. With the way she talks about meltdowns + emotional dysregulation it’s def what she means by that. On the other hand: Kelly is a specimen of pure and simple Narcissism who hates when she doesn’t get her way. Her ass is “dysregulated” because of that. These girls lack any form of structure outside of what mom wants. So they pitch fits or do things they shouldn’t because it’s the only way they can get her to give a shit.
I don’t think she’s raising them to be cluster b nightmares (these girls are both under 10 I don’t even know wanna imply it. Even if it’s possible. Call me a softy but I don’t like going that far with lolcow’s kids.) but she’s trying to def set up the oldest up for an autism diagnosis that isn’t legit. Along with setting them both up for failure.
I noticed that she had set a timer to drink her coffee and then "locked down (her) profile" with the kids looking over her shoulder, before even beginning to bother getting the kids breakfast. I'm hoping it wasn't her FetLife account, but I think we can be reasonably certain that it was and her kids got a full view of it.
When I read this I thought it meant like her account on the family computer and really really hope you are wrong lol
 
I can't imagine how chaotic and disorganized that house is.
She bitches twice about dishes for making eggs - how she had to clean a pan to make them and the bowl was the wrong size bc it’s been 4 days since doing dishes…so even allowing that as true (and it’s not actually a week or two)), they’re living under a mountain of dirty dishes. They live reasonably well enough that there is not just a single pan in the house, or a single bowl than can hold eggs. That means that all the pans and bowls were dirty. And that’s in the most used area of the house, a place that most people keep reasonably clean or at least functional…because people need to eat everyday. Imagine the rest of the place.

And she won’t make the kid eggs at 745 “because I’m eating my dinner.” Nothing about “and she just had dinner an hour ago.” No, the kid has been “eating all day,” which she uses as a direct criticism of/ to the kid, instead of thinking “maybe I should create a dinnertime for my children.” Nope, she lets them graze ignores them all day, and they’re kids, so they eat unfilling junk, and so of course they’re hungry! And she makes her “no” be all about herself, guilting her children.

Every single thing was about how her kids’ needs inconvenienced her.

She has to finish her “home coffee”* before she will reluctantly heave herself up and feed her children (reluctantly shutting down her “profile,” which she notes she locked, so we know she was cruising for sex while her kids were hungry for the food promised 14 hours ago bc, as she mentioned, it’s now mid-morning).

* = she typically buys out

Just. cleaned up her mess
She waited until nearly 8 pm to pay attention enough to notice. And yes, she should be cleaning up after her children. Teaching them to be self-sufficient, yes, but at 9, no, you of course still need to take care of them.

And in general, I think the comments here are hard on the kids. They’re little kids. Not little adults. And also shouldn't be expected to dig through dirty pans and dishes to be able to eat.
 
@Berserker Armor (please forgive me, my quote function is no good), there is a huge overlap between "autism" -- or, as I like to call autism claims that are not legitimate, "loltism" -- and "Cluster B" diagnoses.
For good reason, if one reads the Autism Culture thread that collates a lot of apparently autistic people's inner thoughts as captured in places like Reddit subfora.

And there is a lot of overlap between all the Cluster B disorders, like Narcissistic Personality Disorder (which Kelly displays) and Borderline (which she has features of and could probably be diagnosed with as a comorbidity depending on who was diagnosing).

Of course she would want to be diagnosed with autism instead, since autism is woobified in the public eye and the BPD / NPD rebranding campaign hasn't been quite so successful yet.

So I agree "dysregulated because tism" is what she is angling for, but we can probably agree that "her Cluster B ass" is the real problem.

Although it's hard to take BPD people's word for whether or not they were as abused in childhood as they often claim, I think the way Kelly's kids were raised is a good example of actually literally "abusing or neglecting your kids until they qualify for a BPD diagnosis in adulthood."

But that's not saying they can't avoid that fate. They absolutely can; the question is whether or not they will.
They might grow up to exhibit some BPD traits and features while being subclinical, as in "not bad enough for a diagnosis, but would definitely benefit from Dialectical Behavioral Therapy." And with time and DBT / Cognitive Behavioral Therapy, they might even grow out of those traits and features altogether. But they'll have to get free of Kelly and process how she treated them first, because she'll do everything in her power to keep them from maturing at all, given she never has done so herself.

Describing how I know any of this would require both first- and secondhand powerleveling, so I'll just say I'm super serious about exactly what this comment and the previous ones say.
However, things turned out okay for me and the people I know, so I especially mean that Kelly's kids are not a lost cause!
 
She waited until nearly 8 pm to pay attention enough to notice. And yes, she should be cleaning up after her children. Teaching them to be self-sufficient, yes, but at 9, no, you of course still need to take care of them.

And in general, I think the comments here are hard on the kids. They’re little kids. Not little adults. And also shouldn't be expected to dig through dirty pans and dishes to be able to ea
my bad, if I came off that way with mine. My biggest thing with Kelly and her kids is that it just seems like she has very minimal involvement outside of just throwing food at them or when the kiddos are acting out to get her attention. Which honestly this whole rant was an admission to.

So I agree "dysregulated because tism" is what she is angling for, but we can probably agree that "her Cluster B ass" is the real problem.
I feel like this should just be the thread motto sometimes lol
 
the thing w/the dilly bars has been fucking with me. A kid over five doing that would make me throw away the rest of the hershey's syrup and vow not to buy any of that shit again and tell them directly why I would not be doing so. I would most certainly stick with it for at least a year, which is an eternity in kid-time.
Also, I'm not a parent, but is it hard to feed your kids breakfast before you feed yourself? They just wanted fucking eggs. If they're too little to actually help with cooking (and it seems like they are old enough) then IDK it seems like an easy solution to this would be to feed them first and then be able to eat your own food in peace.

Or, like, eat a healthy meal together or whatever.
When you are a parent of young children you generally end up eating whatever your kids wanted because its just easier. It is easier to crack 2 more eggs in the pan and eat them (out of the pan) after the kids get their food than it is to make a separate thing and more dishes. Often you end up eating off the kids plate because they didn't finish their food. All of this is a function of being tired as hell, because little kids cannot clean messes, only generate them, and they cannot get you anything you need, they can only demand things, and they never want to go to bed. They make up for this by being cute and small. Kelly's kids are functionally like three year olds because they do not pick up after themselves in any capacity and cannot make any of their own food. I would want to kill myself if I had to indefinitely deal with children who are capable of doing better and also not so cute anymore. I sympathize with how hard it must be, but I am also sure that kelly views any real solution to the problem as being oppressive or immoral to her family so she is stuck with it and no one can help her as long as she chooses this. She would rather live this way than admit she got something wrong. She could turn it around at literally any time with approximately a month of sustained effort. There would be a lot of bitching and tantrums but it sounds like there already is anyway so she doesn't have anything to lose.


"Dysregulation" is a therapy term, usually used for people with Histrionic or Borderline-type emotional outbursts. Everyone who misuses it is weaponizing therapy language, as the sort of person who would encounter that term in the course of their therapy (or scrolling social media for hashtag-mental-health or hashtag-therapy content) is wont to do.
this term is used in a ton of contemporary "gentle parenting" literature in a non-technical way. The idea is that no kids are ever truly being shitty, they just need an adjustment in their mood to be good, so they have to search out the source of bad moods like a new age detective. They're treated like robots that need re-calibrating. Making a kids mood worse with lack of sleep and shitty food/screens etc will make them more inclined to make poor choices, but that doesn't supersede the human nature of sometimes doing bad shit simply because it would be fun and you might get away with it.

I heard one mom that is into gentle parenting say that your kids don't get dysregulated unless you do first, so you have to drop everything and do self-care activities if the mood turns sour in your home one day. It sounds a lot like kelly eating herself to death to cope with her nightmare. Contemporary parenting literature is some of the most insane shit I have ever read in my life. it would be unironically better to spank your children whenever they upset you than whatever this shit is.
 
Kelly: Puts herself first in every way, at every opportunity. Her dinner, her "HOmE coFFeE," her computer time, comes first.

Also Kelly: "I am so sick of being a tool for everyone!"

And then: "Why won't anyone ask for help! I want to help!"

Fuck off, psycho narc.

Kelly has already fucked up those kids in nearly every way possible. They are not disabled, they are feral and she is a shit mother. Yeah, the one is diabetic. But she is not the "caretaker of a disabled household" as she constantly claims. They are all FAT and undisciplined, that is not a disability.

Kelly always makes me think of this lady I often see out and about. She pushes her (I assume) adult daughter in one of those big wheelchairs paraplegics live in. She's a 50ish, very fit little lady. She has to carry a handkerchief to constantly dab her daughter's drool. She always looks tired, and I can't imagine what she has been through the last couple of decades. That's what Kelly is comparing herself to.

Kelly is really doing a number on those girls with her BOPO shit. Can't restrict food, even for children. If kiddo's intuition calls for all-day grazing on junk, that's what her body needs. Kelly can tell herself that, then be smug about letting them eat all day instead of keeping them busy, attended to, and on a schedule. They will have problems with food for the rest of their lives.
 
Sometimes there's a seed in Kelly's posts that I find sympathetic but she just... takes it to such extremes
That’s the annoying thing for me: she’s right that a parent’s day contains a hundred little annoyances and compromises, but that’s the nature of being a parent. You can accept it and work it make life less annoying by doing the basics to prepare ahead and raise your kids to be normal, or be miserable. Most people take the first choice without thinking about it.
but she’s trying to def set up the oldest up for an autism diagnosis that isn’t legit
I’d actually love to see if behavioral therapy for autists would work well on them. It would be a fun experiment.
 
I’d actually love to see if behavioral therapy for autists would work well on them. It would be a fun experiment.
In order to have effective behavioral therapy, especially for kids, it has to involve parents too. A behavior analyst can create the most perfect behavioral plan, and have behavioral therapists working under him/her that are the most consistent possible with implementing the plan, and still not have much progress if parents don’t reinforce it at home outside of session. You can’t expect the parents to behave exactly like the trained therapists do, but there should be at least some expectation that the parents can help with the behaviors they see at home. This is why any good ABA (applied behavioral analysis) company will emphasize parent training as part of the intervention. Kelly would hate this, because of these reasons:
  1. It requires a degree of humility to accept correction in order to make positive changes for her kids
  2. It requires being vulnerable in ways a lot of people (not just narcissists) get uncomfortable with, and high defensiveness of being told that some techniques are actually reinforcing the behaviors the parents don’t want isn’t easy to hear
  3. It means admitting that you don’t know everything pertaining to your kid’s needs. Some parents are great about this and use it as an opportunity to research more and ask questions to behavioral analysts, while others will get defensive instead of trying to learn
So, if Kelly managed to get one of her kids an autism diagnosis and wanted to try behavioral therapy, she’s going to be in for a lot of uncomfortable self reflection by a behavioral analyst. I’m still of the belief that behavioral therapy is something anyone can benefit from in some capacity, it’s that just under insurance, it often gets pigeonholed as a treatment for autism.

Additionally, Kelly loves to virtue signal, and there is a sizable population online of autism activists that are against ABA entirely (they claim that it’s “conversion therapy” for autism), so I could definitely see her going that route instead.

Overall, I’m kind of torn on this, because even if she was fishing for an autism diagnosis in one of her kids, and the diagnosis likely being from a suspicious source, she could benefit from a real overhaul on her parenting techniques, which a behavioral analyst can help with. On the other hand, knowing what Kelly is actually like, I can’t see her actually changing in order to help her kids, so those types of services would be wasted on her, and could instead go towards families that take things seriously in order to help their kid.

I work in behavioral therapy
 
Super mom meme my ass; she is not even approaching average mom. Kelly is a total whiner who makes herself a martyr without actually doing more than the absolute bare minimum. All the top hats, right fucking here. Those girls are fully capable of knowing how to make many easy snacks and small meals, but that requires her teaching them enough times for the lesson to stick. This does require them to be able to access clean dishes and utensils, something Kelly and Jerry just can’t seem to manage. The weaponized incompetence from every single person in that house is mind-boggling. Jerry tunes out everything, Kelly pretends it’s all just so hard when she wastes all day perving online and navel-gazing, and the girls are barely capable of ADLs at a greater level than toddlers. I doubt whichever one we overheard yelling to have her ass wiped in the homemade McMuffin video is independently wiping herself yet. This family disgusts me on every level possible and yet I keep reading this thread and making myself angry.
 
Those of us who have had truly disabled parents probably have experience with being tought things at an early age to help more around the house.

Her kids are what? 8? 7? That's old enough to nuke hot dogs and scramble eggs (under supervision with the stove). It's old enough to load and unload the dishwasher - I've watched my nieces do it at that age. They can also learn to clean up their own messes at that age. My mom would have whipped my ass into next week if I did nothing but eat parts of the expensive ice cream all day, let alone make one chocolate syrup puddle for her to clean up.

My point is, Kelly lives in chaos because she likes it. Other disabled narc moms I might know managed to keep a tidy house and yard, fed the kids every night, went grocery shopping every week with two small kids, and got the kids to bed and then up again at decent, regular times. The kids had to help out a lot, but nothing that wasn't age appropriate.

Kelly doesn't want that kind of stability. She gets her supply from the chaos and forces her children to remain dependent on her to do anything at all, because then she has the opportunity to rant and scream and throw dramatic fits about how she's not being supported enough.

Those poor kids are fucked. All children of narcs develop traits of narcissism/borderline since the two are so co-morbid. These kids have a very good chance of developing full blown personality disorders. Feels bad, man.
 
Those of us who have had truly disabled parents probably have experience with being tought things at an early age to help more around the house.

Her kids are what? 8? 7? That's old enough to nuke hot dogs and scramble eggs (under supervision with the stove). It's old enough to load and unload the dishwasher - I've watched my nieces do it at that age. They can also learn to clean up their own messes at that age. My mom would have whipped my ass into next week if I did nothing but eat parts of the expensive ice cream all day, let alone make one chocolate syrup puddle for her to clean up.

My point is, Kelly lives in chaos because she likes it. Other disabled narc moms I might know managed to keep a tidy house and yard, fed the kids every night, went grocery shopping every week with two small kids, and got the kids to bed and then up again at decent, regular times. The kids had to help out a lot, but nothing that wasn't age appropriate.

Kelly doesn't want that kind of stability. She gets her supply from the chaos and forces her children to remain dependent on her to do anything at all, because then she has the opportunity to rant and scream and throw dramatic fits about how she's not being supported enough.

Those poor kids are fucked. All children of narcs develop traits of narcissism/borderline since the two are so co-morbid. These kids have a very good chance of developing full blown personality disorders. Feels bad, man.
I pray they will find adult children of alcoholics one day which is for adult children of all dysfunctional families. https://adultchildren.org/
they have a giant festering onion to peel one day that’s not even done growing yet.

I’ve done behavioral therapy as well and very often the children don’t have what used to be associated with autism with the sudden change at two, they are kids that have been raised feral with too much screen time in a toxic environment, Kelly probably came out of that too, and the moms of those kids usually cut off the sessions just when the kids are reaching the peaks of their gains, when they get all excited to see you and are waiting at the window for you to pull up cause they are jealous. Being autistic myself I didn’t know why I kept being taken off cases with students every single damn time it was just really starting to go well and thrive and a couple of other people in the field clued me in. It was very devastating to me and the children every time it happened and it was like clockwork. All of the other ladies in behavioral therapy and my friend in tutoring also experienced that all the time and my tutoring friends husband who was also a tutor would talk to the husbands in these cases and they would just be like, I know, they were doing so good, but SHE just doesn’t want the help anymore. It’s sad because oftentimes you are the only nontoxic encouraging person in these poor kids lives. A lot of foster kids get the autism label and services as well. Then the little bit of hope and progress and bonding gets torn away from them. I was working in the most methed up/fosterchildren as a source of income area in la county at the time for various companies they can never give you enough hours that they promise you and are disorganized fly by night companies a lot of the time, lots of money to be made in aba therapy unfortunately with the behavioral technicians and kids and families getting the worst end of the stick while the corrupt companies and organizations make money off of the insurance. Ugh.
 
Last edited:
Back