@Null submitted for the approval of the Midnight Society, I'd like to present a contribution to the American Cheese disource:
washing cheese.
Goddammit, even typing it makes me fucking angry. The QRD is it's a "viral hack" from a Food Theorists video. Y'know, MatPat, the "game theory" company that now gets rich producing slop. These videos are so fucking braindead that they're now telling people to wash fucking shredded cheese. I was watching How To Cook That and she breaks it down in detail:
Essentially, pre-shredded cheese is usually coated in emulsifiers to keep it from all melting together on the shelf, and supposedly that makes the cheese not melt as good. So these FUCKING MORONS at Food Theorists came up with the stupid fucking idea to soak the cheese in water to get all the icky powder off, so it'll melt better. The host actually tests this out -- guess what? It does practically fucking nothing. Turns out pre-shredded cheese melts almost exactly the fucking same, and usually only needs one or two extra minutes at most. Because it's formulated to fucking melt you absolute tards.
But you might say "but what if you have a refined, sensitive palette and those powdery emulsifiers ruin the flavor for you?" Well that's a valid point, and to that I say: 1) if you palette is that refined, you should just by buying real cheese. 2) if you palettte is that refined, you'll definitely notice it's been SOAKING in FUCKING WATER. It'll slowly erode your fucking cheese product, and the cheese will absorb the water giving it a blander, nastier taste. These people are some of the most famous content creators on the platform, they make money from this shit, and they're fucking telling people to soak their goddamn cheese in the sink.
I also despise the fucking production style, with the shitty little photograph avatar tweened around the screen and occassionally given that fucking horrendous photoshop smug smile that fills me with pure hatred, while the narrator says shit that's either totally obviously or blatantly untrue. Fucking hate this. Got mad about it today and haven't been able to calm down since. This post is my personal therapy session.
This shitty company is the same shithouse outfit that hired MovieBob because their hairbrained owner was impressed Bob "predicted" that Scarlet Witch would become a villain in the MCU. A thing
that happened in the fucking comics years ago. He was impressed that Bob
read the fucking book they were adapting.
I still don't fully agree with your hot take on American cheese access but shit like this is definitely making your argument more persuasive, if people are so fucking dumb about cheese they'll fucking soak it in water. I can't imagine anything less appetizing than watered down cheese. Fuck.