Cheng Xi (程曦) is a Chinese lolcow from the days of Vine. He rode the Gangnam Style and Ice Bucket Challenge fads into earning minor internet popularity on the platform, with people seeing his jolly, autistic antics as endearing and wholesome, even adopting a few catchphrases ("Very cool, very swag, I like it," "It is fate," "I'm X guy.")
As it turns out though, he's literally retarded. He adopted the name James Cage White for his Western audience by taking three things he loves;
James Bond, Nicolas
Cage and
White women. He is obsessed with finding a white girlfriend, refuses to maintain a job, and after Vine died, struggled to find popularity anywhere else, while insisting he is still a social media influencer. James is also a strong advocate for the idea that Fate is predetermined, and that you cannot change it no matter what, often using fate as an excuse for why he fails to accomplish anything.
James is also a habitual spender and masturbator, frequently posting on Twitter about how he refuses to buy any more Steam games or masturbate (referred to as m...) and he always fails his promise within a few days. He rarely plays any of the games he buys, and doesn't even have a computer capable of playing most of them. Additionally, he will insist he is either planning to learn how to make music, program games, or learn various other manchild skills that he has gone absolutely nowhere with in the past decade.
Over the years, he's had a few love quests. First, he appeared on a
Chinese dating show where he was set up with a women, and ended up dragging his elderly mother along with him, who would go on to grill the woman and ruin the entire date. Then, years later, his parents would arrange a marriage to a Chinese woman, who actively hated him. Her father was paid somewhere in the five figure range to set her up with James, who would have a son with him that he would give a Chinese name, but negotiate with his wife to have a secondary name of Peter. James was constantly bemoaned by his wife, and forced to sleep separately, before she divorced him after only a year or so, taking Peter with her.
He now finds himself doing the same thing he has always done; Buying Steam games, masturbating and posting about it on Twitter, bemoaning his lack of a white girlfriend, posting his lunch while he's sitting next to his father who is practically on his deathbed, or desperately trying to stay relevant with Gangnam Style and Ice Bucket Challenge videos nearly 15 years after they became irrelevant. He has little to no internet interest left, aside from the occasional person who remembers him from Vine randomly, searches him out, and is aghast to find out what he's like outside 6 second segments.
