The last interview process I experienced involved a general online bullshit questionnaire, followed by an online psychological profile (that got it completely wrong, outsourced and no doubt data-harvested), then a phone interview with a 20-something HR graduate with a lisp, which resulted in me being invited to a group interview. Keep in mind, this was a shitty generic office job, and I'm not regarded as old, but definitely not classified as a kid either. I've worked a lot of different jobs in very different industries over the years (I don't mean this in a condescending tone, I'm just highlighting how fucking retarded hiring practices are now for even people who have been working for years).
The group interview is full of primarily narcissists and NPC's. We sit in a horse-shoe formation, and the panel of 3 × 20-something Mediterranean HR graduate gypsies + 1 × corporate proper-stretched-anus faggot proceed to ask the group a question, and each one of us sequentially answer the question in our own words, all trying to one-up and sound smarter than the person before us. I'm already defeated at this point and staring at the door.
Then, they have us pull out a personal item that we are very fond of and talk about it. I can already feel shivers up my spine at this point. The cringe is real and intensifies with each answer. Generic cunt #370 likes traveling and laughing; Cunt #371 likes rom-coms; Cunt #372 had a kid and it's his life (like no one has ever had a kid before).
I feel like a complete fucking whore for participating in this clown show. I can still feel the company wiping its flaccid, wet, sticky, yellow-stained grub all over my cheeks - hoping I'll open my mouth.
When I didn't think it could get any worse, they have us split up in to groups of three, and they give us a Lego set. You know...I'm a grown man. I just want a job so I can pay the registration on my fucking car and bike; keep food on the table and keep the landlord at bay. Here I am, playing with blocks of Lego in a job interview.
Two members of the team have to keep their hands behind their back, and instruct the third member on what to build without using visual cues. A measurement of communication and listening skills.
The guy I'm paired with doesn't know of the colour beige, which he describes as brown, and constantly thows me off...because he's a fucking retard.
Again, this is for a shitty office job. 60 years ago, these people(including the HR panel) would all be making sandwiches in the cafeteria of a manufacturing plant.
They then have us split up in to another group of three, and give a presentation using a white board, over a very, very specific topic that only someone already within their industry would know. At this point, another middle-aged guy in the group is holding his head in his hands and looking like he has lost the will to the live. I don't telegraph my despair, but I'm certainly feeling it, and still staring at the door.
We then have a one-on-one interview. At this point, I've fully tuned out; focusing more on how drab, soulless and ugly the modern office decor is, rather than the frivolous questions asked by HR shit-stabber. I already know I haven't got it. And despite financial stress, I am glad.
Needless to say, things are looking good now. Chin up everyone. Every now and then I still think about this miserable waste of two hours.
In hindsight, trust your instinct. You will know when you know. If an interview process is feeling retarded, you're probably the retard in the room (by their parameters).
Don't trade your dignity for a job. Walk out. They're fucking retarded. Especially if they break out a Lego set.
And you, being here, means you farm fruit, so you're automatically better than them.
