🐷 Ethan Ralph's Twitter / Tweets - A collection of thoughts, insights and musings from the internet's favorite gunted hobbit

[Strictly Confidential]

What is the coverage like in Columbia for cell service? As people have mentioned, he has probably just lost his phone but it doesn't seem like Ralph to not be taking photos of every little thing he does, no matter how sad it is.

took a ride to the beach and wound up face first in the surf.

Hey he might have thought you could ride a current and float on down to Columbia and the sea just spat him back to mehiiiiko

 

[HackerX]

What is the coverage like in Columbia for cell service? As people have mentioned, he has probably just lost his phone but it doesn't seem like Ralph to not be taking photos of every little thing he does, no matter how sad it is.

Obc, I'm not a spic, but I can't imagine there's no cell service within an hour radius of the airport. It's possible he simply doesn't have international coverage, but I'm pretty sure the plan he uses for Mexico would cover Colombia as well. Plus, I'm sure Wifi is available at the airport and hotels, so you'd figure Ralph would have popped up during his arrival/departure at the very least.

 

[Obscura539]

This cheap bastard definitely lost his phone and is currently on the longest layover ever.

 

[Strictly Confidential]

This cheap bastard definitely lost his phone and is currently on the longest layover ever.

An overnight layover, fuck that. On the phone thing, wouldn't be (yeah I know it's Ralph) smart to after all the times he's lost it or whatever to maybe have like 2 or 3 and a battery bank stashed? In any case, I'll still be surprised when/if he does update next and what the excuse will be.

 

[Truly Rural]

View attachment 7283751

This cheap bastard definitely lost his phone and is currently on the longest layover ever.

29 fucking hours ffs

 

[Sam Losco's Wife]

This cheap bastard definitely lost his phone and is currently on the longest layover ever.

Um nawt cheap I'm poor, nigger. (hopefully nawt dead)

 

[parsnip]

There's no way Ralph is dead. Have you felt an overwhelming sense of peace like a pig demon has been banished from the world? No? Well then he still trots among us.

 

[RantyAndy]

IT'S NAWT TRUUUUUUEEEEE BISHHHH!!! Nothing can down the Ralphamale!!

 

[Capt. Jean Luc Ritard]

He actually went to too many AA meetings, which can make a person seem like they've passed out in a Xanax and alcohol induced coma, if you want to know the truth about it.

 

[SneedleDee&SneedleDumb]

Has anyone activated the death clock yet? Or am I jumping the gun here, @Null?

 

[Mussolini’s Merkin]

The funniest outcome would be if Ralph did just vanish. No one would know his final fate, and no one would really care, but it would be a Farms mystery forever.
Hopefully someone saves the cats.

 

[JesusBuiltMyHotrod]

The funniest outcome would be if Ralph did just vanish. No one would know his final fate, and no one would really care, but it would be a Farms mystery forever.
Hopefully someone saves the cats.

Imagine the guntypastas about hearing spooky hollerin' in the wilds of Mexico that would come out.

 

[JustSomeDong]

The funniest outcome would be if Ralph did just vanish. No one would know his final fate, and no one would really care, but it would be a Farms mystery forever.
Hopefully someone saves the cats.

Imagine the guntypastas about hearing spooky hollerin' in the wilds of Mexico that would come out.

If it happens, my guntlore headcanon will be that he met his demise hollerin' at a Chupacabra. Screaming "DO YOU KNOW WHO I AM BISH!" over and over as he is eviscerated, right until the bitter end.

Like a True Ralphamale.

 

[Cucktry Roads]

Cmon Ralph, I need you to live another 5, maybe 6 years where AI gets advanced enough where I can do all this creative shit when you do die.

 

[Sumptinsfuckey]

Something just occured to me, when's the last time Ralphie boy had a shot of Makers Mark? Is he too poor to afford an (admittedly decent) inexpensive bourbon?


Edited to add - Posted this when I was still 10-20 pages back. So Ethel's been out of contact with the internet since friday morning? No worries, he just did something stupid that he'll claim is a "werk"

 

[Bill Evans 45]

I'm putting my dollar on him being refused boarding for being a drunk mess, having a tantrum and getting arrested at an airport.

 

[Fascist Frederick]

Put me down for $50 on: "Beat up, phone stolen".

 

[Feyd-Robert Rekieta]

I could see Ralph getting locked up in Mexico for getting drunk at a restaurant and grabbing women repeatedly until police were called. What a Mexico's arrest policies like?

Either that or a local gangster and friends came to the defence of the female staff/patrons and he's beaten to an inch of his life, robbed, and in a ditch somewhere without teeth.

Just some fanfic for the fanfic farms bish...

 

[David Spadem]

Is it bad that I kind of want a columbian disappearance/kidnap murder scenario, it would be the best content Ralph's provided in years.

This song is a good eulogy for Ralph's inevitable death.

 

[Schpoots]

Probally went silent to get eyes on him because no one would care or notice otherwise.