Mass Effect Andromeda: Shitstorm Edition - RIP Biowear

[RIP_SANITY]

 

[OtterParty]

Spoiler: Ending

Spoiler

Source: http://archive.is/wf4tJ

 

[Secret Asshole]

I think it's probably that the limitations of the character creator just happen to favour male facial features. Blocky, square jaws are fine for guys, not so much for girls.
As much as Bioware like to shoehorn in progressive story elements, they know damn fine that a not insignificant portion of their fanbase just want to create waifu-sheps/ryders and have hot lesbian alien space sex.

When it comes down to it, lets not kid ourselves here guys, this game's going to sell gangbusters regardless of quality. Forums will explode, articles will be written, youtubers will rant, but it's going to net EA a shit ton of cash. They handed it off to a b-team cos it's a guaranteed sell no matter who makes it.

Hell, it may even be the case that the whole single player game is being used as a Trojan horse just to get the cash-cow multiplayer in as many homes a possible.

I mean, maybe? But then again, Sim City turned a profit and EA shuttered Maxis soon after. SWTOR is steadily losing money, there's no real evidence of an alternate IP and its really going to be difficult to tell how many ME fans are going to return. Especially now that basically the only advertising this game is getting is complete mockery on social media. Also these sort of companies have very high requirements on what they consider a good amount of units pushed. One one hand, it is certainly possible since some people will fucking buy anything. On the other I've seen more titles crash and burn since gamers are getting savvier and I just don't think there are enough true Bioware fans left to really make a dent (there are a lot of them, don't get me wrong. But the fanbase is small compared to some). Take me for example: I played through ME 1 and 2 about 4-5 times over the years. I played through Mass Effect 3 one time and played MP (which I had no interest in initally) on 3 far more than the single player. I simply could not muster any excitement or feelings towards Mass Effect Andromeda besides apathy until recently. I imagine that I'm not alone in these feelings. Now, I'm just enjoying the complete shit-show.

I think you are right that single-player is a Trojan into multiplayer, because apparently the one thing people are praising is the combat (which is the least important aspect of a Mass Effect game to me) and the fact that you can jump right into multiplayer from single player. Maybe the absolutely terrible facial animations and dialogue is just pushing people to it. I'm also watching a live-stream of some chick playing it and the look of absolute disgust on her face when the characters were talking completely out of sync and like inhuman dolls was pretty hilarious.

 

[Keystone]

Unlike the game itself, the gifs coming out of it haven't disappointed yet:

 

[Honeybunny]

They announced it a long time ago, right after Mass Effect 3. They even released a few live action teasers for it, it was called ''You've been chosen'', or maybe that was just the tagline. Then we never heard of it again. I thought it was dead, but maybe the Edmonton Bioware team is working on it, while the rookies at Montreal were tasked with ME:A. That seems to be the cause of the problems rather than some conspiracy involving SJWs.

That was Shadow Realms, and it was made by Bioware Austin (the people who made The Old Republic)

That, and it's been confirmed cancelled - if Bioware is actually working on a new IP, this isn't it

 

[Ponderous Pillock]

Y'know. I'm reminded a little of Splinter Cell: Black List which was all mocapped stuff as well..

Only that didn't suck ass because they also did facial capture and built basic sets to guide the actors around.

Meanwhile ME:A did....

My face is Tired.

 

[Secret Asshole]

Some more hilarity. Apparently in the character creator, you can't get any lighter skin tone than this (unless you play default characters, which you apparently can't edit):

Their excuse:

They can't even get skin tones right, and they can't even fix it on fucking day 1. These are the people that are being trusted to make the game 'good' after 10 hours. Yeah, no. I don't believe I've ever seen an excuse this bad. How inept are you that you can't correctly implement a color slider? Holy fucking shit. Anyone who buys this shitshow is an idiot.

Also, allegedly there are only 2 romance options for straight female Ryder, 3 for straight male and 5 for gay either way.

 

[vertexwindi]

How do you fuck up giving a texture a tint?

 

[Intelligent Calcium]

Some more hilarity. Apparently in the character creator, you can't get any lighter skin tone than this (unless you play default characters, which you apparently can't edit):

Wait, that's what the white at the top left of the palette represents?

How do you fuck up giving a texture a tint?

They claim it's a fuck-up, but at this point I wouldn't put it past them to deliberately exclude paler skin tones.

 

[Mola Ram]

They claim it's a fuck-up, but at this point I wouldn't put it past them to deliberately exclude paler skin tones.

I wouldn't either, but if this is the case, then BioWare is a collection of cowards. You want to make a game with a non-white protagonist, bite the fucking bullet and make the protagonist a specific ethnicity. Doesn't seem to have hurt Grand Theft Auto V, and it certainly didn't hurt San Andreas over a decade ago. But quietly graying out the lighter skin tones is so fucking yellowbelly it's painful.

 

[The Fair Lady]

Who wants to bet Manveer is behind the lack of pale skin tones?

And "early investigations"? For fuck's sake.

Also, allegedly there are only 2 romance options for straight female Ryder, 3 for straight male and 5 for gay either way.

I can confirm from the datamines. If you're playing a straight female Ryder your only options are Liam (the black guy) or Jaal (the cat squid alien).

 

[Lackadaisy]

The main studios last game was Inquisition which was actually quite good.

>Inquisition
>good

Also, did they have interns or devs do most of the gen NPC voice acting? Dat Salarian and dat Krogan both sound like they have the tism.

 

[Intelligent Calcium]

Dat Salarian and dat Krogan both sound like they have the tism.

Well, it's BioWare. Maybe they have.

 

[Ponderous Pillock]

It's obvious they made this game balls deep in the SJW bubble, then realised that the vast vast majority of their audience are actually those icky whiteies who're going to give them the shekels.

The fact reviewers seem to be calling it"Mass effect fanfiction" also points to even the much vaunted storyline being complete shit as well as they've spent time box ticking instead of writing a good story.

Garrus isn't a good character because he was an alien, he was a good character because he grew during the three game from a sidelined beat cop to near-crazed sniper who dispensed justice as he damn well saw fit.

Liara T'soni was a good character because she was a wide eyed archeologist who was studying the curious case of mass extinction of a society supposedly at its height when it happened. She then becomes a fucking galacitic information broker and all round badass.

Heck, even Wrex was basically a deposed king of a dying kind trying to fix a wrong.

You just get the feeling the whole thing was Manveer masturbating away as he ticked off each little box on his wall list.

 

[Mater Lachrymarum]

Found this and had to share.

 

[Keystone]

That explanation is complete bullshit. There's no white skin tone on any ladies and most guys because they have an open racist who hates whites making the game. That and the last thing they want is attractive females - attractive white females in particular. And I fully believe they made the one male preset that is actually white look like an Aryan superman on purpose. You can just hear Manveer jerking off over his imagined cleverness on that one.

 

[Secret Asshole]

>Inquisition
>good

Also, did they have interns or devs do most of the gen NPC voice acting? Dat Salarian and dat Krogan both sound like they have the tism.

The Salarian is actually an actor from Silicon Valley, one of the mains. Danesh I think.

Who wants to bet Manveer is behind the lack of pale skin tones?

And "early investigations"? For fuck's sake.

I can confirm from the datamines. If you're playing a straight female Ryder your only options are Liam (the black guy) or Jaal (the cat squid alien).

That's fucking pathetic.

I wouldn't either, but if this is the case, then BioWare is a collection of cowards. You want to make a game with a non-white protagonist, bite the fucking bullet and make the protagonist a specific ethnicity. Doesn't seem to have hurt Grand Theft Auto V, and it certainly didn't hurt San Andreas over a decade ago. But quietly graying out the lighter skin tones is so fucking yellowbelly it's painful.

Might not have been Bioware, EA might have said to make the protagonists white. So out of spite and to fuck with 'the man', they beat femme Ryder with an ugly stick. Even though everyone loved the amazonian FemShep, but no. Lets make her ass ugly and devoid of expression. Though it could have been Bioware, who knows.

It's obvious they made this game balls deep in the SJW bubble, then realised that the vast vast majority of their audience are actually those icky whiteies who're going to give them the shekels.

The fact reviewers seem to be calling it"Mass effect fanfiction" also points to even the much vaunted storyline being complete shit as well as they've spent time box ticking instead of writing a good story.

Garrus isn't a good character because he was an alien, he was a good character because he grew during the three game from a sidelined beat cop to near-crazed sniper who dispensed justice as he damn well saw fit.

Liara T'soni was a good character because she was a wide eyed archeologist who was studying the curious case of mass extinction of a society supposedly at its height when it happened. She then becomes a fucking galacitic information broker and all round badass.

Heck, even Wrex was basically a deposed king of a dying kind trying to fix a wrong.

You just get the feeling the whole thing was Manveer masturbating away as he ticked off each little box on his wall list.

More than likely, yes. He got caught up in 'Fuck White Gamers' that he forgot to, you know, make a quality game. Not to mention people are going to notice when they get very limited character creation options. The character creator is something out of over a decade ago. They are going to see, 'Why can't I make this character attractive/white/have a half decent face?' Then they start stammering some bullshit about texture mapping. Bitch, please. Its a fucking tint, if you have a scale, you can adjust it. Early investigations my ass. And the character skin color limitation was definitely Manveer, to prevent people from creating characters they wanted out of spite. Someone should tweet that they are discriminating against albinos by making the skin colors so limited.

My bet was they were completely unprepared for this, though I have no fucking clue how they thought any of this was remotely acceptable. Even if they made the female characters ugly on purpose, the facial animations are horrific, as with the movement animations. Have they even played a video game before? No, scratch that. Have they even seen how a living person moves? Someone said that the alein facial animations were fine. Yeah, you know why? Aliens don't fucking exist. We have no idea what facial cues they'd have, not to mention they don't even look human. We know instinctively what human faces look like and are supposed to express.

Also, the writing definitely seems fan-fic level. Characters outright stating their personalities, awkward pauses and just trite shit.

 

[GeorgeDaMoose]

The Mass Effect: Andromeda shitstorm has only grown bigger closer to launch. I'd have to say, this is probably by favorite Bioware moment right now. The sheer amount of incompetence in their marketing along with the hilarious disappointment people have experienced from the actual game is just almost too good to be true. If developers at Bioware aren't considering suicide already then they have iron wills. Or extreme autism. Maybe a bit of both.

 

[Ponderous Pillock]

More than likely, yes. He got caught up in 'Fuck White Gamers' that he forgot to, you know, make a quality game.

No, no, this is what a quality game looks like from the "Fuck White Gamers" crowd.

Also, the writing definitely seems fan-fic level. Characters outright stating their personalities, awkward pauses and just trite shit.

Welp. Guess Which Terrible Writer is responsible for Andromeda's main writing?

All of a sudden lots of things fall into place.

 

[Secret Asshole]

Oh, it keeps getting worse:

No, Bioware has always been too arrogant and fucking stupid to listen to its audience. They probably think that they created a masterpiece and those evil, misogynistic gamers can't appreciate it.

That explanation is complete bullshit. There's no white skin tone on any ladies and most guys because they have an open racist who hates whites making the game. That and the last thing they want is attractive females - attractive white females in particular. And I fully believe they made the one male preset that is actually white look like an Aryan superman on purpose. You can just hear Manveer jerking off over his imagined cleverness on that one.

Of course it is. You'd never make that excuse unless you had something to hide, because it makes you look like a completely incompetent fuck-up. Dark Souls 1 had more skintone options than their game does. The only real explanation is Manveer got an erection from preventing people to create the characters they wanted.

But whoops, turns out you actually need those people to you know, buy your game. And they are going to instantly notice when they can't make the characters they want. So they pull that excuse which makes them look even more incompetent than they already are. And he is definetly in love with his cleverness, he probably made him a manlet as a 'statement' as well.

Usually, I don't care about an artists politics (unless its something truly abhorrent) as long as it doesn't affect the quality of their work. Manveer's is actively fucking with the game in order to spite white people. Its not even good commentary or politics, its a child's way of reacting to things. Just pure spite. Too bad the game looks like shit and no one will care.

No, no, this is what a quality game looks like from the "Fuck White Gamers" crowd.



Welp. Guess Which Terrible Writer is responsible for Andromeda's main writing?

All of a sudden lots of things fall into place.

Social Justice Types couldn't make a good game if their life fucking depended on it. They adhere to their politics rather than the importance of gameplay and story structure.

Also fucking lol